I just got back from a three-hundred-mile ride on my old 91 Harley sportster1200. Parked in the driveway is an 89 Lincoln Towncar, black with a white carriage top. I'm feeling great from a nice long ride, it is about three in the afternoon and I'm wondering whose car this is. I'm hankering for a big burger, fries, and a beer. I go into the house through the garage and into the kitchen and sitting at the table is a fine-looking woman in what I'd think is her upper fifties, an off-white blouse, black pleated skirt with a two-inch pat. black alligator belt and patent black uppers with bows and across a very well-filled blouse a pair of silver half-moon style glasses hung from a pearl beaded chain. I'm getting hard.

"Jeff," says Mom, "This is my friend Gertrude or Gerty. She will be staying here for a bit while her place is getting remodeled. Gerty will be coming and going as she needs to will cook when she wants and uses the house as we do."

Gerty gets out from behind the table and I shake her hand. "Hi, Gerty, glad to meet you." And I am.

"Hello Jeff, your Mom tells me you are working as an apprentice electrician and that you take it very seriously, also that you are really into riding a motorcycle. is it a V-twin engine?"

I'm thinking, damn she knows about bikes. "Yes, it is a 1200 c.c. engine."

"Also that you like music, keyboard?"

"Yes, Gerty classical and pops."

"Whose your favorite composer?" she asks me and I am aware my eyes are really looking at her half's hanging across her nice-sized blossoms.

"Chopin and Beethoven, Chopin for his etude opus ten number three and Beethoven for the Moonlight sonata and Path'etique."

"Well, those are two very well-known pieces of music. Joyce, where's the lady's room?"

"Down the hallway on the left," said Mom as she took a load of laundry into the garage as that's where the washer is.

Gerty takes her half-glasses and beaded pearl chain and puts them on the table, then heads to the bathroom.

With her beads over my neck, I peer thru her half-glasses. Did she drop them in her soup? I got them spotless and sparking and put them back where she left them. She comes back and sits down as I'm grabbing the Gatorade out of the fridge. She's putting the chain over the back of her neck, picks them up, and looks through them, possibly thinking something about them has changed not knowing I'm watching, she smiles.

I guess she thought I was in another room as she asked my Mom, "Joyce, does this house have magic powers?"

"No, I do, why?"

"My glasses needed cleaning, I just don't remember even cleaning them. They are looking better than I ever cleaned them before though, there's something about that."

"Oh, Gerty your mind is probably on the remodeling job."

"I guess so, I am so impressed with Jeff, two of the greatest pianists in the world."

"Just don't commit any crimes, Gerty!"

"What?"

"Jeff's big on Columbo."

Two in the morning and the ketchup and beans got to me, so I go to get a drink and I see another pair of half-glasses on the table. Gold half-square with a  pearl beaded chain. I take and look through them. "What is Gerty doing to these sweet glasses?" I ask the world as I get them spotless and sparkling then I drag them under my balls and the thoughts of creaming them get me quite hard. I make sure they are beyond spotless and are sparkling in the light of the low watts stove lamp.

I'm doing up some roast beast hash in my cast iron no-stick skillet and Mom walks in.

"Morning Jeff, you sleep well last night?"

I'm thinking that's an interesting question first thing in the morning.

"Yeah, Mom, pretty good. It was kinda hot yesterday...why do you ask?

"So what are you doing today?" Mom does not want to answer questions... Okay, no big deal but I'm thinking Gerty told her that another pair of half-glasses were found spotless and sparkling.

Mom is sipping coffee and reading the Sunday paper through a pair of dark brown half-moon style glasses with a high bridge half down her nose and she looks quite hot. I know there is something going on here, but say not a word about this. I mean, I clean Gerty's half-glasses twice and now Mom is wearing hers? I don't think it is a coincidence.

"So Jeff, what do you think of Gerty?"

"Very nice, Mom, she comes across as very confident, as she has gone to college and maybe a school for music? She seems to have a lot of cultures."

"Am I missing something here, Jeff?

"Like what?"

"Like you already knew her? Like before yesterday?"

"No, Mom, I never met her before."

"Well, once again you seem to really know something about someone you never met. I don't know how you do it, but you summed her up quite accurately."

It was a busy week and today is Thursday at eleven at night, I'm glad. During the week, whenever Gerty left a pair of half's laying around, they got cleaned spotless and sparkling and tonight as I stand by the fridge looking at those chocolate eclairs I'm thinking about dropping a tiny bit of custard on her half-glasses to see what happens. I like Gerty very much and I think she likes me a lot as well. She seems very pleased I know something about classical music, I would imagine she plays piano, but not sure though.

Friday is a hard day and I'm glad it is over. I get home and the house is empty. I see Gerty's silver half-moon style glasses in the bathroom with the pearl beaded chain and I take care of my needs with them and it is very nice. I wonder what she thought when she saw her gold half-square style glasses visited by two small drops of custard. I clean these up very well, they needed it too.

I split to get a chicken and bacon sub and return. Mom and Gerty are home. Gerty is giving me the eye through her silver half-rounds.

"Until I came here, I never believed in ghosts, but I do now. Do you believe in ghosts. . . Jeff?"

"Hell yeah."

"You do?" (the do being higher in pitch)

"I don't know if it's ghosts but there is something out there when a person knows something that there was no way they could know but know it anyway."

"Like what?" asks Gerty.

"Knowing there is bad news on the phone, that a storage place has no units available, and knowing the picture on an item without seeing it."

Saturday morning and Mom's working, Gert's home though. She is looking very good to me and I feel something is about to occur.

"Morning, Jeff, I'd like to talk to you."

"Okay, over coffee in the kitchen?

"Sure."

"Do you know what I found yesterday morning?"

"I doubt it was a package of fifties in a thick as steak two-inch package."

"You are right, Jeff. It was not a package of fifties. It was two small drops of custard on my gold half-square glasses. Any idea how custard got on my half-glasses. . . Jeff?" She asks as she diddles the beaded chain for her silver half-rounds and the sun streaming in through the kitchen window sparkles in those glasses and I am so fucking hard right now.

"Well yes, Gert, I put those two drops there."

"I was a bit disappointed, Jeff." She said but her voice has no hint of being mad.

"What part of being upset were you, Gerty? As being disappointed could be taken in two different ways."

"You do know the meaning of disappointed right?"

"Well yes, to not be as good as expected, like baking a new kind of cake or someone doing something another never would have thought of them doing."

"You see, Gerty, there is another way of being upset here."

She sits up straighter than she had been, not that she was slouching, but...well, she is sitting straight up.

"Is there now?" She is still flicking her beaded chain and the sun still sparkling in her half. "How is that?"

"Well, when you first saw the custard on your sweet half-glasses, what did you think?" Not giving her time, "Did you think it was sweet of me to keep your half-glasses spotless and sparkling? Knowing I love that custard and keeping your glasses always sparkling, did you twig it that it was me keeping them spotless, since you got here, coming back from the lady's room and looking at them as if something about them changed? Were you disappointed it was ONLY custard? Hoping it was something more erotic, thicker, and more symbolic of what I'd like to drop on your sweet half-glasses...those nice silver half-moon style or the gold half-square?"

"Jeff, I knew something was going on and I must say I really liked it. I would not have been mad had you cummed them."

"Thanks, Gerty, please know I came on them for you, your gold half-square and yes I made sure to clean them."

"Now I'm mad, I missed out on seeing MY half-square glasses cum'd!" Gerty says in a very sweet way.

"Well let's go and let me show you what I did to them."

Here we are in her room. She is taking her clothes off and I did not expect that. I think she really wants to go all the way.

"Jeff, I like you very much, could be love, but will you just want to see me? And no one else? And want to get very serious? Because if you do, we can have a wonderful life together. I will want to please you in any way you think of and it is so nice that you like cleaning my half-glasses and wearing my beads as you do. Was it really nice getting your man gravy all over them?"

"Gerty, it was and the thoughts I had of us doing things, sitting at the beach hiding hand and feeling each other up, I can think of a number of things to do to and for you with those half-glasses and beads."

She has a beaded chain wrapped around it and strokes my balls with those gold half-square glasses, and half down her nose, the silver half-moon sit, their beads swaying softly and I love the way the light of the room sparkles in them as her head goes up and down on my rod. These pearl beads are doing the nicest magic as are the gold half-squares on my plums. I blow my load into this fine woman and it has to be the best ever. She loves it and is impressed.

"Oh, that was so good and not too salty," Gerty says.

We lay together for a while and I tell her I have ideas.

"Like what?" she asks.

I take her gold half-square glasses and stretch out the beaded chain and start running those beads back and forth against her nipple which is really liking it as it got plump and redder and hard.

"Oh, JEFF! What are you doing to Gerty? Where'd you learn this?"

"Get on your back and spread your legs!"

"What are you up to now?" she asks, her face wreathed in total gladness

I take her silver half-moon style glasses with beads and run the beads through her soft and lovely muff, against her labia and she starts thrashing and bucking at the hips and getting very wet. I take her gold half-square style and get her sex juices all over them and have her see me licking them.

"Oh, Jeff I just came on those for you."

"I know, Gerty and they taste great, I will always love licking your half-glasses."

"I know that, Jeff. Let's take a snooze then do it all again."

"Yup, that sounds like a plan."