I seem to be an interesting person. I dunno, but I like the sounds of it. I'm just hear to pass the time until the right thing comes along. Feel free to ask about my life, my thoughts, my dreams
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Don't call for your daddy it wont help, they don't care. They'll beat his ass too if he gets lippy. The worst part about that is that the guys dad was a sheriff or sheriff's deputy.The United States Government and the police that are employed by it have no interest in the well being of people.
Think that's bad... check out the video footage of homeless schizophrenic Kelly Thomas being beaten to death by 6 cops while Kelly is apologizing and crying for his father. Two of the cops have already gotten off the hook, despite perfectly clear footage of the police acting with unmasked brutality.
I love the responses in here. I wish I could have a direct conversation with every one of you! As for true love, I think Aristotle actually has a lot to offer, saying that we must first be friends, and that being friend means to wish for and do good for the other for their own sake, as opposed to doing good for them in order to gain some benefit for ourselves. My general story:I grew up in a home that was pretty severely emotionally and psychologically abusive. Like it or not, it shaped what I thought it meant to receive love and to give love,as everyone's environment does. I used to have a hard time relating this to people who grew up in a home that nurtured their basic human self. I think people take for granted that they weren't raised to believe they are an insult to the universe, or even to question their self worth.The first time I thought I was in love, I was just emotionally dependent on my partner. I was 16. Suicide was the plan after that one. The second time i thought I was in love, I was just an arrogant possessive prick out of boot camp supercharged with testosterone and thinking I had to die to prove my love. I lost her quick. Martyrdom in Iraq was the plan after that one. Anyone who has done the research will tell you that, given my background, it was 10 times more likely that I would become abusive in my relationships, and that's what happened in both of these cases.I spent the next 7 years of my life single... learning about myself, taking responsibility for my life, and dealing with my past.A couple years ago I was dating a girl who I think I actually succeeded in loving. Unfortunately, I was not ready to be "in love". I tried to make the point to her that I was NOT ready to fall in love, that I was doing some serious internal work and often shared my progress with her, and frequently commented that I wasn't the idealized version of me that she saw. I wanted to know that she saw me for all of my strengths and all of my flaws. I couldn't get that point across to her in time and she left me. Ironically she left me because she thought I wanted to leave her, and even pointing out that I didn't seemed to only strengthen her conviction to not work things out. She had a thing about not contradicting herself or exposing her own errors. I was devastated. It was kind of weird that even after dating a short time we had connected so well that anywhere we went people assumed we had been together for 6 years. It felt like I had lost someone I was with for 6 years. As tragic as it was to lose her, it was a turning point for me. As a result of the heartache and everything I learned about myself I found closure about a lot of things that have happened in my life. I worry about her a lot. In any case, I had achieved what I set out to do, and that was to love her and myself, and care about what's good for both of us. Her for her own sake and me for my own sake. It was like the lonely years of my life leading up to that relationship were about becoming a better person so that I could be better for her. I think I still love her, although I don't know if I could ever date her again just because of how she ended things. Two years later I'm still single although I have dated some friends, and I've begun volunteering as an advocate at a domestic violence shelter. Realizing how far I've come in my life I've started to consider that I may actually be worth loving, that it's now safe to love me, and that I may actually be capable of loving again. Until then, I'll just keep doing good in the world.
Exactly! Male/Female relationships don't always have to end with sex. Just be happy you have a friend, man. Most times it's not even The Friend Zone . Sometimes, relationships are meant to be chaste and not taken to the sexual level. Other times emotional attachment outweighs the carnal wants. Friendship should be first on your brain. . .not just trying to take a woman to bed. If that's your only intention than you're (the guy who started this forum) pretty selfish. Unfortunately, I always get my signals crossed. I meet a girl I want to be friends with and she was just looking to get laid and I didn't pick up on it until it was too late... or I meet a girl who just wants to be friends and I'm just looking to get laid. Why would it be selfish, it's not like I'm out there trying to lead a girl on just to sleep with her. Can you honestly tell me that women never just want a good fuck and nothing more? Unfulfilling, I can agree with. I'd much rather meet someone with a deeper meaning to our relationship, but let's face it. I'm getting nowhere with anyone.
Another thing that annoys me about the term 'friend-zone' is that it holds a negative connotation and implies that ending up being friends with a girl is a complete failure. Hey, you can't accept to be just a friend with a lady, that's unacceptable and surely not manly ; just keep annoying her or stick around in a needy and pathetic manner, even though she's going to perceive you less and less as a strong, mature and independant man. In a way, those who fear the 'friend-zone' the most are probably those who are the most likely to fall into it. Those who don't bother will simply accept their 'friend' status, yet are still going to be perceived as respectable men by women. Such a man will also be considered a 'real friend' and not just a 'fake friend' that's acting with uncertain intentions.Of course, you don't want to approach girls you're interested in only displaying a friendly attitude either. You have to somehow demonstrate that you have sexual desires too if you want them to see you as a potential romantic partner. That's another issue with guys who often complain getting 'friend-zoned' in my opinion ; they can't be upfront about their sexuality, yet start whinning when women perceive only friendly qualities in them. Well said.
Whining helplessly about this situation will lead you absolutely nowhere, and will only affect negatively the image you have of yourself. That's a whole issue in itself. Concerning those who responded to you harshly, really, the way you portrayed ladies in your original post was a bit harsh and judgemental on its own. Some ladies here surely have been on the other side of the situation, and were most probably annoyed by the fact that they were perceived as 'evil manipulative bitches' just because they are generally polite enough not to tell a guy to 'fuck off' when he makes advances. Dealing with this situation, rejection, can be as awkward and difficult for them as it is for us men. I don't want to admit that their perspective means anything because I have been used, manipulated, and lied to. Seems like it's my fault for "letting it happen" though.
I met someone who I finally thought was the perfect girl for me, and she decided to get back with her boyfriend because she felt she owed it to him and God, or some bullshit... guess that woulnd't have worked out very long anyways... where's her feminist friend when you need her... fuck
"Omg, I'm nice to her! That means that she has to date or have sex with me! HAHAHA . Good point, but you're still an asshole
funny, to me, if i guys in the 'friend zone' it means we're friends. i don't use him, i don't string him along, i am there for him when he needs me as much as he is there for me. i wasn't aware i being my friend was so much work! wow - you paint this picture of women as being just manipulative bitches - this might be why they aren't really interested in dating you, you know: they want to cause anguish in my life to know they have the ability to do so? wow. btw, dating and being friends are two different animals. so, you're implying that anyone that is your friend should also be interested in dating you? just curious - are you willing to ask your male friends for a date under the same presumption? :) I see where you are coming from. Unfortunately, I had been involved with some pretty manipulative people and I guess I just developed trust issues. I was the stereotypical white knight and ended up in a lot of bad relationships. That's why I'm here trying to get all of this worked out. I guess I'm lost in my own point regarding dating and friendship... I see dating as a natural outgrowth of friendship, so I kind of felt like maybe I just wasn't a good enough friend, so I would do more and try to be a better friend and end up in a world of hurt. My fault, I know, but again, that's why I'm trying to gain some insight... not trying to claim my position is right. If I thought my perspective was absolutely correct, I wouldn't have posted in here looking for feedback.
I'm wondering why you thought it was necessary to make this SAME forum twice? I found the relationship advice forum after the other one, and thought this was more appropriate place.
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