About Bunbury1
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Bunbury1
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23 Dec 2012
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12 Jan 2013 (565 days ago)
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Topic: Not ready to give up sex
Posted: 29 Dec 2012 20:44

Thanks for the responses. Sorry to hear that I am not alone in this. It is definitely a difficult situation. I think you summed up the options pretty well. For now, the plan is to try to find some solution to bringing some desire back for her. I am working on getting her and I to a sexual counseler.

Coincidentally, we just rented and watched the movie "Hope Springs". Very interesting movie about a husband and wife that found themselves roommates after years of marriage. The wife wants sex, but the husband does not. They end up at a counseler and it comes out that she was the one who stopped the sex years earlier.

Movie had a happy ending with the counselor helping them work it out.

The movie led to some good conversation between my wife and I.

We'll see where this leads, but I am cautiously optimistic right now.

Thanks again for the comments. The support is appreciated.

Topic: Not ready to give up sex
Posted: 28 Dec 2012 18:01



I clearly have no great solutions to you considering I'm barely out of my teens...so I shan't pretend to give any legit advice.

But have you tried specifically *sexual* counselling for the pair of you or just couples counselling? I volunteer at an establishment that offers both these forms of counselling and they are quite different forms indeed.

I hope someone here can offer you something! All the best.. fish


Thank you for the reply. We did couples counseling, not sexual counseling. I did not know there was a difference. I will have to look into that. Then I will have to see if I can talk her into going. I think she would. I don't think that she likes the way she is sexually, but she also has pretty much given up on herself in that regard. The challenge will be to convince her that she is not a lost cause. Definitely worth trying, though!

Thanks again.

Topic: Not ready to give up sex
Posted: 24 Dec 2012 10:18

Hello,
I am sure I am not the only man on the site that has experienced this, but I am struggling with this situation. My wife lost interest in sex years ago after our kids were born. We have read books, tried all the relationship improvement...bring the romance back things, but she has not responded. She occasionally goes through the motions but that has become more and more infrequent. Almost not existent. In fact, when we do have sex now, she says it is painful for her. Her doctor says that her vagina has atrophied. (Use it or lose it folks) So I am now on the once or twice a year program. No foreplay, just get it over with. Not exactly romantic or even erotic.

So, I find myself in a very awkward situation. I love this woman. I intend to spend the rest of my life with her. In every other aspect of our lives, she is my perfect partner. I took a vow to not be with anyone else and intend to honor that promise. This leaves me quite sexually frustrated. I am not ready to stop having sex, but I really have no choice in the matter. It makes me angry that one partner can just decide that sex is over for both. She sees a therapist and we have tried couples counseling, but there has been no progress in the area of sex. She seems to just be working out her mother issues. (Incidently, her mother did the same thing to her father. They did not even sleep in the same room for the last 30 years of his life.)

Masturbation is really my only option at this point and she usually expresses annoyance if I do this when she is around. She says it makes her feel guilty. So, apparently, I am responsible for her feelings in addition to my own. Of course, I could continue while she is there, but it is hard to be aroused when you are being glared at or she huffs out of the room. So now I feel like I have to sneak around like a teenager hoping his parents don't catch him. Not feeling very manly here.

I seriously have run out of ideas here. Since I am committed to the marriage, I just don't see any way around this. I doubt that you will have any suggestions other than couples counseling, which we have tried.

So there it is Aunt Olivia. Any suggestions?

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Doctor Desire

 Several years ago, I needed to find a new doctor. I decided to go to the same doctor my wife sees and this happened to be a female general practitioner. I had pictured a rather plain woman, cold and impersonal and was surprised at my first appointment when she turned out to be anything but plain or cold. After registering, I was led to the room, where I was instructed to change into...

Added 24 Dec 2012 | Category Taboo | Votes 13 | Avg Score 3.69 | Views 24,634 | 2 Comments

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