Cynical optimist. Penguin enthusiast. Sleep connoisseur. Food evangelist. Lipstick extremist. Titty fanatic. Easily distracted. Not easily impressed. Certified potty mouth. Unapologetically vulgar. Classy as fuck.I'm here to read and have fun. You're more than welcome to be a part of that if you'd like. But please be aware that I'm unavailable for anything more than friendly chat. Camp out in my friend zone at your own risk...just make sure you're good at rationing your resources. Seriously...if you wanna be my friend just be my friend. But that 'friend with ulterior motives' bullshit is for the birds. If you say what you mean and mean what you say, then you're fine in my book (with exceptions, of course).*Disclaimer: Whatever my current avatar may be is NOT me. It's NEVER me. Most likely it's some gorgeous girl with amazing hair, or Beyoncé in a pair of chaps and a sexy white bodysuit wrangling a conspicuous looking penguin. It may even be a pair of flashy panties. Whatever the case may be, the avatar most definitely is not me.*
I prefer doing something to arouse him until he wakes up (kissing, stroking, licking...that sort of thing). If I'm waking him up out of his sleep, the very least I could do is turn him on first instead of 'I'm horny! Wake up and make sex with me!'
For an absolute guarantee 100% of the time, all you need to do is get 367 people in the same room.
Keeping it vague / non-specific is absolutely fine.Otherwise we'll end up with things like:"he gently nudged the Pleasuremaster 3000 MKIV into my sopping pussy, and I could feel my orgasm starting to take hold."That's a turn on! Well FUCK!*Scraps my entire story*
Listen here, you bitchToday is fucking FridayI'm not doing shit.
Just a quick tip: If an account is deleted or deactivated, it resolves to the '404 Page Not Found' page. There's an easy way to see if a friend has deleted or deactivated:If the account is deleted, the username/avater will not appear on your friends list or anyone else's and their forum posts will show as 'Guest'.If it's just deactivated, their username/avatar will still remain on your friends list and next to their forum post.
Can we have a 'Missing in Action' page.I realise that we may end up with saturation but it's worth a try.I lost a corresponding friend 'Deborah' (aka Throbbing Wet Pussy) when she suddenly dropped off the planet.I'm aware that her mother was very ill and I would just like to catch up and see how they're getting on. Members' accounts get deleted one of two ways: At the discretion of the member holding the account, or at the discretion of administration.Either way, it can happen rather abruptly. Some members inform their friends, followers, what have you beforehand and leave contact information. Some don't.If the "Missing in Action" page does come about, it would probably be more member-driven instead of moderator-driven, as we have no way of knowing who deletes their accounts and when, unless a specific username is brought to our attention.And also, we couldn't allow the sharing of other members' contact information...especially not publicly.
Pretzels...usually plain. Chocolate or yogurt-covered when I'm craving something sweet with the salty.
1. The ability to wish for infinite wishes...because fuck that rule.2. The ability to have as many orgasms as I want without that soreness you get after you've been fucking too much/long/rigorously.3. Eternally hairless vagina...never have to shave or wax again (not only sexual, but practical).
I feel them in my chest, Clawing their way through my throat Until they finally reach the tip of my tongue And that's where they stay. Don't ask me what they are Let me show you. Take the kisses from my lips And wrap them around you Let them sip from your cup Until it runs dry. The pounding in your ears Is the song of my soul. You won't hear it in whispered words, But in every gasp...
Added 19 Sep 2013 | Category Love Poems
| Votes 22 | Avg Score 4.85
| Views 1,459
| 19 Comments
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