About Magical_felix

In the mood for something sleazy? Maybe even a little depraved? Then you've come to the right place! My stories are guaranteed to contain absolutely 0% romance! They are however jam packed with: plenty of crude dialogue, trashy settings, dirty words, cheaters, reluctance, naive young sluts, big booty hoes, moral-less whores, dirty boys, facials and tons of anal sex! Proceed with caution...

Pulling things out of my bag-O-tricks
Favorite Books:
Lord of the Flies, 1984, Preacher graphic novels, Bone graphic novels
Favorite Authors:
Favorite Movies:
Flesh for Frankenstein, Blood for Dracula, Sexy Beast, Inglorious Basterds, Zodiac, Old boy, Drive, Interview with the Vampire, Last of the Mohicans, Amores Perros, Cold Mountain, The life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Evangelion, Buffalo 66, Quills, Perfume, Boogie Nights, Dazed and Confused, Scott Pilgrim, Spirited Away, The Count of Monte Cristo, Fight Club, Shawn of the Dead, Lone Wolf and Cub, Pulp Fiction, The kids are Alright, Lost in Translation, Way of the Gun, The Royal Tenenbaums, Downfall...
Favorite Music:
All sorts.
Date Joined:
03 Apr 2010
Page Viewed:
40,363 times
Days in Chat:
Forum Posts:
Latest Forum Posts
Topic: Today in Pictures (post a picture representing your mood)
Posted: 22 Jul 2014 20:23


Topic: Announcing our "Toy With Me" Story Competition, $400 Adult Store Credits up for grabs
Posted: 22 Jul 2014 20:14

You have to write it! Pretty please? :)

Another time Emilia. Another time. laughing8

Topic: Announcing our "Toy With Me" Story Competition, $400 Adult Store Credits up for grabs
Posted: 22 Jul 2014 19:58

You made these adjustments in just a couple hours? Well that's pretty impressive. You had a story (idea) already, then you heard of this comp and in a couple hours you figured the proper adjustments to make it work for this comp. That is what you are saying? Well that is very impressive. Good luck in the comp!

Really, you can't come with a story idea in a few hours? What's wrong with you?. Hell, I get an idea within a matter of minutes, it's just the time I take to hammer it out that makes the real difference. Some authors can plan out a story with in a few hours, but writing might take a bit longer. She didn't say she had it written, just planned. BIG DIFFERENCE.

I'm with Sprite on this one dude, you're being a dick, dick.

No, I guess I am not good enough to have a story idea ready to start writing right when the comp is announced. I am not that good unfortunately.

You're with sprite on this one eh? Yeah, me too. How dickish of me to ask an author their method so I can learn how to have a story, sorry, I mean an idea ready to go right when the comp is announced. It's amazing. Usually takes me a week or more to have a thorough idea down for a comp before I can start writing. Probably why I struggle to get them in on time with only a few days left before the comp closes. I found Jayne having an idea ready to go right at the start when she first heard of the comp to be noteworthy. So I asked her about it, my bad. Not sure why you would be so sensitive about it. I would brag if I were that good.

Topic: Announcing our "Toy With Me" Story Competition, $400 Adult Store Credits up for grabs
Posted: 21 Jul 2014 03:20

I've got my story all planned out, so I'm hoping it's going to be easy to write.

Super excited about this one!!!

Look, not trying to be a dick....

But how do you have your story all planned out just a few hours after the announcement? It's just been a few hours.

Is this the first you've heard of this comp and you already have a story all planned out? That's pretty impressive. Would like to know that process.

Topic: Should there be prisons for old people?
Posted: 21 Jul 2014 03:12

Stupid old asshole will go to a "prison" where he is with other old assholes getting his meds and meals and care in some "prison" that isnt far off from an assisted care facility. Trust me, I volunteered in one for years, it felt like a prison but the old folks were paying thousands a month to stay there and they got to play chess with the likes off me and negotiate me stealing some extra candy for them if they won. They PAID for that. These were stand up people with careers and that was their fate. Sounds like a prison to me... These were ex pilots, teachers, farmers etc...

This vomit getting to stay in a similar place just because he's old and weak? And we all get to pay for it? What a joke. He should be tossed to the wolves just like his victims were. Let him realize what he did through his own suffering.

Topic: Announcing our "Toy With Me" Story Competition, $400 Adult Store Credits up for grabs
Posted: 21 Jul 2014 02:15

That reminds of a story you told me once. You know, that time you robbed a bank wearing a lime green thong and nipple tassels?

You rode in on the back of a sheep that you'd spray painted luminous pink. You were wearing a Patrick Swayze latex mask, and had a gun in one hand and a four-foot inflatable cock in the other. As you stashed all of the money in your revealing undies, you shouted at the top of your voice the most foul obscenities known to man. Before leaving, you took the time to urinate in the potted plant in the corner of the room before turning to the CCTV camera on the wall and nonchalantly saying,

"Try recreating that for TV, you fuckers."

(Did that really happen?)

L x

On second thought that might make a better read.

The time I robbed a bank was less... Cinematic... Yet, more effective. It involved: Asians, motorcycles, fake identities, ATMs, weak tellers, college students, lies, and balls.

I may write that one yet. The sex would be crowbarred in though. I'd come off as a hack.

Topic: Announcing our "Toy With Me" Story Competition, $400 Adult Store Credits up for grabs
Posted: 21 Jul 2014 02:07

That was probably the most inspirational video I have ever seen in my whole life. Sounds like sex with missy would be, literally, out of this world.

The only thing I would object to is that she doesn't come with that hot outfit. It's what kind of sold me on her... Still, hot outfit aside, a thressome with Bo Peep, and her finest, still has my heart. I must put pen to paper to better illustrate this desire.

*picks a banjo*

Topic: Announcing our "Toy With Me" Story Competition, $400 Adult Store Credits up for grabs
Posted: 20 Jul 2014 22:29

I don't think lush is ready for my inflatable sheep story set in the Appalachian Mountains.

Topic: Smoking: Turn on or off?
Posted: 20 Jul 2014 22:16

If she just started smoking meth like two days ago, It's a turn on. I mean that bitch is gonna be wild in the sack.

But if she's been tweaking the fuck out for a few years then it's a turn off for sure.

Topic: What's your opinion on abortion?
Posted: 20 Jul 2014 17:30

How does God feel about porn and erotica and the like? Doesn't that fall under fornication? He's not a huge fan of that. His son also said that to look at a woman who is not your wife with desire is to commit adultery in one's heart, and adultery is one of the Big Ten. And when you break one of the Big Ten, you break them all.

Does that standing alone when God asks why clause apply to fornication? Or is that not an important enough sin?

Also, I recall someone mentioning let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Just can't remember who. You'll have to forgive me. I'm a tad rusty when it comes to Bible-thumping.

If God asks someone why they had an abortion I would imagine he is expecting an explanation before deciding to let them in through the pearly gates or else he wouldn't ask why. So that would mean that in some cases God thinks abortion is okay or else he wouldn't ask for the circumstances leading up to the abortion if in his eyes abortion is a no go. If he thinks it's wrong 100% of the time and isn't going to let you into heaven because you had an abortion then the act of him asking you why you did would make him a sadist.

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Recent Activity
Stories Published By Magical_felix
Editor's Pick Let Her Eat Cake

1 Week Before the Masquerade "That can't be your best line. What is it really?" Hector asked his new recruiting partner. "It is, I swear. Women love hearing things like that. Some of them laugh, but they still like it," Jonas answered, while parking their black SUV. "Whatever, man," Hector chuckled and continued. "I wouldn't tell you what my best line is either... But it's not even...

Added 22 Jun 2012 | Category Reluctance | Votes 82 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 36,874 | 34 Comments

Editor's Pick Mignonette

San Diego "Hello?" Jack answered his phone without checking who it was. "Monsieur Jacques, bonjour!" Jack furrowed his brow, lowered his phone and took a quick look at the area code. 702... Las Vegas. Bridgette, he realized. "Jacques? Have I reached monsieur Jacques?" Bridgette asked in a ridiculously over-the-top French accent. Jack laughed and asked, "What's with...

Added 27 Jun 2013 | Category Group Sex | Votes 37 | Avg Score 4.97 | Views 14,530 | 23 Comments

Editor's Pick Kingdom Come

Fucking Barber 12/21/12 Noah and Teddy just finished a joint and are waxing intellectual around the coffee table at Teddy's parents house. Neither of which are using the coasters provided by Teddy's mother. "You believe in that nonsense?" Noah dismissively asked as he flipped through the channels, settling on the news. "You never know, those Aztecs--" "Mayans,"...

Added 10 Jan 2013 | Category Hardcore | Votes 34 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 15,605 | 17 Comments

Recommended Read No Sympathy for Lilly Black

Saturday the 23rd, September 2012 ~I seek revenge on the sons of Adam. As reported to us by the sole survivor of last night's massacre. These were the chilling, deranged words allegedly spoken by the Equinox Killer, the blogosphere has simply dubbed as, Lilly Black. This is Red Alert News at Eleven with Dennis Thomson. Good evening ladies and Gentlemen I'm Dennis Thomson. 'Lilly...

Added 20 Sep 2013 | Category Supernatural | Votes 25 | Avg Score 4.87 | Views 3,592 | 19 Comments

Recommended Read Stars and Clouds

Ethan   Ethan, dressed in just a pair of swim trunks and a bathrobe, walked to the lavishly decorated clubhouse of his gated community. He nodded at Theo, the night watchman, before entering. The pool room was indoors, heated, and most importantly, empty at midnight.  Ethan plugged his phone into a tiny speaker and hit play. He removed his robe and jumped into the pool. He tried to...

Added 07 Apr 2014 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 26 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 2,309 | 21 Comments

Recommended Read Coffee, Cards and a Cabin

"It was so nice of you to have me and Tyler join you guys up here for the weekend! We really appreciate it," Brooke said to Amy, holding her cup of coffee close to her lips to protect against the chilly bite of the Sierra Nevada breeze before taking a sip. "Jacob and I have been up here so often, just the two of us, that we decided that this year we wanted some company and who better than...

Added 26 Nov 2011 | Category Taboo | Votes 57 | Avg Score 4.87 | Views 6,100 | 25 Comments

Recommended Read One Thing Leads to Another: Rumble Pussy

"Get the big boner ready because I've got a shit-load of water and some bull-rider," Christine said into her cell phone, explaining to Maria that she wished for her to clean their large bong because she possesses really good marijuana and a lot of time to kill. Maria looked up from her text book and asked, "You coming by now? Like, right-now-right-now?" "Yeah." "But, I'm studying." ...

Added 01 Feb 2012 | Category Quickie Sex | Votes 53 | Avg Score 4.96 | Views 8,732 | 22 Comments

One Thing Leads to Another: Is he fucking her ass?

"Come over hoe, we are so fucking bored," Maria said as soon as Christine answered her phone. "Are you at your parents house? I don't want to kick it there, I want to get high." "I'm over at Tony's pad. Don't worry his roommates are gone, It's just us two." "Are you sure Maria? Because I can't stand those fucks." "I'm sure. Bring some shit over, yeah? I have the pipe with me, I'll...

Added 18 Mar 2011 | Category Hardcore | Votes 50 | Avg Score 4.93 | Views 23,205 | 14 Comments

One Thing Leads to Another: The Head Shop

Maria and Christine were lounging around the backyard getting ready to smoke a little pot. Maria found an empty Coke can and began to carefully shape it into a pipe. She flattened one side and made a few holes with a knife. Christine handed Maria the bag of weed and she placed some on the can. "I'm so sick of smoking out of a can Maria." "It's not that bad... Here you go first." "I know...

Added 21 May 2010 | Category Group Sex | Votes 45 | Avg Score 4.95 | Views 14,576 | 9 Comments

One Thing Leads to Another: Semen is Mostly Sugar?

Christine took a quick glance at the clock hanging over Mr. Vasiliev's desk. Fuck, only 2:15. I can't take 45 more minutes of Mr. V's class. Is Maria still meeting me after school? I hope she wants to get something to eat... Christine's mind wondered. Christine discreetly took her phone out of her backpack and slowly moved it to her lap out of Mr. Vasiliev's view. She opened her...

Added 13 Apr 2010 | Category Anal | Votes 77 | Avg Score 4.97 | Views 26,922 | 18 Comments

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