I am a 36 year old man who has been in the BDSM world for 16+ yrs., I also was married for 10 yrs before my first wife and I split amicably over differences we could not overcome. I do not get into to much of my real life with the general public on Lush because I save that for the people who wish to get to know me.I am a listener, a teacher, a mentor and a master. This means that I will always strive to make everyone the best they can be and do all I can to promote the lifestyle in a positive way. Does this mean I am perfect, heck no. But it means that I try to be the best me every day that I can be.Our lifestyle. The BDSM lifestyle is one that is built on incredible communication, passion and love. At some levels even deeper than other more as we call then 'nilla relationships around us. Does that make us better? No. But we should not be treated or looked at any differently. I truly believe that in my life time we will see our community become accepted and not be just a shoved off thing in the corner. Does that mean it will be any less mysterious? Nah we will just think of other ways to shock them.I am here to make friends, meet like minded people and see where things go. I never say never to anything except about saying never. Why because you just don't know what will happen. If you send me a friend request please have a note to it telling me what your reasoning is for the friend request. That is all I ask. Thanks and I look forward to meeting many of you.
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My baby girl is back home and recovering. Thank you all for all your prayers and well wishes this community has been wonderful to both of us through our entire relationship. Lots of recovery to go, but together my baby girl and her Daddy will get through this.
Thank you both for your kind words. I just got word that the problems were caused by a medication that was prescribed that should not have been and it had an adverse reaction causing a heart related issue.They have said that my precious baby girl skye will be able to go home tomorrow.Thanks for the prayers and for everything.
I know this is personal but I had to just talk to some people about it.Many of you know that for almost a year now skye, has been my prime and is my precious little one. Well two days ago my pet was admitted into ICU. There is very little I can do, and I feel helpless. This is the one area where even as my baby girl's Sir, Master and Daddy, all my power, control and strength pale in the face of mother nature and people of science that know more than me.I have no other reason for posting this other than I needed a place to just get out how I was feeling.ProfessionalMaster
This is the topic that doesn't end.And it goes on and on dear friends.One person started writing it because of what it was.And people kept responding forever just because.This is the topic that doesn't end......
The post little_kitty is referencing was posted by littlebirdie92. After typing that I had to pause for a second.I agree with Ravyn it is not like picking out a ripe watermelon or any other fruit or vegetable. It is about asking questions of people and learning about yourself. I would say that the fact that you know you have limits is a good start. If I had a nickel for everyone that said "I am willing to do anything" let's just say I would not have any financial problems ever.But feel free to bend the ears of people on here that you are friends with. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask questions of people. There are people here who are labeled as Masters and some of them are very willing to just answer questions and help people.People like Ravyn or Skye who are very comfortable with who they are and know a good bit about the differences and the path in the lifestyle can be great people to ask about feelings and in some cases what to avoid.I will always answer questions from anyone wanting to learn. I feel that is something that is completely necessary in figuring out who you are.
Very glad I could help. Any time.
Holy cow what a series of questions if I may I would like to take them one at a time. Some of the language used is kind in these stories can only be described as very degrading, is that the intent? Keeping opinion as far out of it as possible. I think that in many cases the extremism of the language in many of the written stories is to help paint a clearer picture in the mind of someone reading as the weight of the situation that is actually occurring. When you can not hear vocal inflection or see the body language of the people this can be needed. In writing those two things are very hard to bring across which pushes the writer to use a different form of language to bring it across. So I would say the intent is to bring across that the person is supposed to get a feeling of being put in a subservient place even at the expense of what society deems as their dignity. There's clearly consent (rather a lot of consent!) so what's with the derogatory language? This answer is the one I think most people have a hard time understanding. Not saying you are one of those people, just prefacing it with I expect people to double take here. There are people, where the simple act of degrading them actually heightens and increases the gratification and can help take that person in that situation closer to reaching subspace. The fact is that much like there are people who love intense pain, such as knife, needle, enema and even high end medical play that to others simply looks outrageously extreme. This is also the case with people that have a need to be humiliated and in some cases extremely degraded as part of what helps them reach that plateau.In fan writing and fiction however, this gets taken to even higher extremes which I think leads to your question. In those cases I chalk it up to creative license. The reason I ask is I'm thinking of writing up my experiences as the basis for some future stories, I guess I'd like to know what is the realistic norm? Another tricky one. The "realistic norm". Having been in this lifestyle for 16 years, I can truly say that I have yet to put my finger on what I would call the "norm" and I definitely have had my eyes opened as to what is realistic. This is something that is individual to each person and I am not sure if there is a "realistic norm". I would say that there is probably stuff that a "majority" of people like. But even within that group I don't know if you would ever get complete agreement. That is what makes this lifestyle so incredible. It is as individual as the people within it and the couples that are involved. I know that sounds like an almost cop out answer but I think that is just what makes it special.Finally as to your reason for asking. Because you are thinking of writing out your experiences. I say go for it. Whether they were unusual or not who cares. If you enjoyed them, if they were something that made an impact on you and you want to bring that out for people to read. I think that is incredible and I will read them for sure.I hope I didn't muddle the intellectual thicket to much.
First of all ShyLittleWolf, let me just echo that everything Sprite said is right on the money.First of all if you feel something, whether by need, want or desire. That is completely okay. There is no reason in the world for someone to shy away from what it is they feel they need to be happy or reach a place of contentmentSecondly, I would say that you should never be afraid to ask questions. There are people on here that are incredibly knowledgeable and caring and will give you the right answers based on nothing more than what they have seen, lived and experienced with no premeditation or ulterior motives.Sprite is on of them, Skye Blue is one of the of them and so is Ravyn. This is not an exhaustive list, just three that I highly respect and with reading their comments, writings and in the case of Skye her being mine; I have come to truly respect and know that they see this as a place to help, reach out and guide.I welcome you to the site, I hope that you find what you are looking for and the answers to the questions that you have. I will always answer any question you may have as well.
You know the truth of the matter is, you never know when you are going to get a piece of knowledge that truly works to start changing the way you think.Not long ago I was having a conversation with someone who I consider a good friend. They were speaking about how they had just taken their kids to their grandparents house and had a great time but on the way home one of the children asked their mother "How come it always seems like Grandma and Grandpa never fight".Needless to say this led to a discussion later that night between the parents.That really hit me and then I started thinking about some of the things I have run into on in the BDSM community, this site over the year I have been involved and other sites.As most of you know I am not the most prolific poster. Nor am I the kind of person who is going to just start a topic out of the blue. But after a year here I have seen a consistency and I just had to vent.I worked long and hard for my title of Master as many of us that have been in lifestyle for a at least 5 or more years have. And I was always taught on my way up that there was a standard that you lived up to when you carried that title. One of the things that was most important was to always have "your house in order".Before you can exercise a full power exchange relationship with another person. Before you can take on the responsibility of having someone TRUST you with their mind, body and soul. You have to be able to trust yourself with your own.It means that if you are in a relationship, you need to make sure that first one is solid and that you have established ways to talk before you go back to training or trying to expand your presence as a Master or Mistress.Even the best of us make mistakes, take risks and sometimes have relationships that don't go the way we want. But I think the true measure of how effective one is as a Master or Mistress is how those people relate with you after they are no longer a part of your lifestyle life or family. And how your lifestyle family treats them.None of us are perfect, but as Master's and Mistress's we have a responsibility to those that we proudly call our subs or slaves to work hard at trying to achieve that perfection.Am I there. No.But I just don't know if everyone still believe's this way that carries the title of Master or Mistress.So that leads to this vent and the obvious can of worms it is going to open. But I would like to know who else might agree that the community seems to maybe have lessened what we are looking for out of someone we call Master or Mistress.
But this site is good at that or they wouldn't have an emoticon for it.
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