Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.
(sips thoughtfully on the Maker's Mark whiskey kept hidden in a bottle labled, 'Old Muleshoe')Now don't laugh, but I've been thinking about that 'Sexiest Songs' list from, Billboard. IMHO, their formula needs some tinkering. I mean, just off the top of my pointy little head, I can think of three songs from back in my day that should be on any such list:The Rolling Stoens: Let's Spend the Night TogetherThe Doors: Light My FireElvis: It's Now or NeverComments, whether bouquets or brickbats, are welcome.
Submitted for your consideration: The top five song on Billboard's, ' The 50 Sexiest Songs.5 "Let's Get It On" - Marvin GayeHot 100 Peak: 1 for two wks (9/8/1973)Marvin Gaye's sweetly soulful voice was an aphrodisiac in and of itself; thus, he rarely resorted to subtleties when it came to his lyrics. "Let's Get It On" remains one of the most blatant sex songs of all time; the soul-music equivalent of a sure thing.Sexiest lyric: "Don't you know how sweet and wonderful life can be?/ I'm asking you, baby, to get it on with me"4 "Too Close" - NextHot 100 Peak: 1 for five wks (4/25/1998)The Minneapolis trio could barely contain its excitement on this raunchy track. R.L, Terry and Raphael moan and groan about their female dance partner's "grindin'" and "shakin'" -- and their respective bulges as a result -- atop a Chicago-style step dance production. Hopefully, the men made it off the dancefloor without any vasocongestion (look it up).Sexiest lyric: "Baby when we're grinding, I get so excited/ Ooh, how I like it, I try but I can't fight it"3 "I'll Make Love To You" - Boyz II MenHot 100 Peak: 1 for 14 wks (8/27/1994)Although more polite with its sexual innuendos than other early-'90s baby-makin' tracks, the Philly quartet hit all the right spots with this chart-topping ballad. Some lyrics are so subdued, in fact, that the penguins from the 2006 animated film "Happy Feet" used them for a "heartsong." How ... cute?Sexiest lyric: "Throw your clothes, on the floor/ I'm gonna take my clothes off too/ I made plans to be with you"2 "Tonight's The Night" - Rod StewartHot 100 Peak: 1 for eight wks (11/13/1976) Hot 100 Peak: 1 for eight wksUsing his pack-a-day croon to maximum effect, Mr. Sexy is anything but coy in this ballad about getting his "virgin child" a nice big drink, helping her off with her dress and sweet talking her into her first time. From the woman moaning in French at song's end -- a cameo by Stewart's then-girlfriend, Bond girl Britt Ekland -- tonight was, apparently, the night.Sexiest lyric: "You'd be a fool to stop this tide/ Spread your wings and let me come inside"1 "Physical" - Olivia Newton-JohnHot 100 Peak: 1 for 10 wks (11/21/1981)While the well-known video features Olivia Newton-John working out at a gym, the song "Physical" touts the benefits of a different kind of workout. The 1982 hit was so suggestive that it was banned by many radio stations across the globe -- as well as the entire country of South Africa. But the not-so-innocent Australian girl-next-door scored the biggest hit of the '80s and proved, once and for all, that sex sells ... mountains of records, that is.Sexiest lyric: "I took you to an intimate restaurant, then to a suggestive movie/ There's nothing left to talk about unless it's horizontally"--Just so you know, Billboard came up with a methodology for this list...as opposed to the whatever comes to mind' approach I usually employ. .
Ginger and Mary Ann, are the obvious choice. After all, they're experienced "uncharted desert ile" dolls. ;)
Morning, to all ye light-dependent lifeforms. I'm going to try that (insert obscenity of choice) link one more time.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saey5ZhXEyUOkay, it's time to celebrate:TITTY TUESDAY!Feel free to post self-portraits or such Lush lady look-a-likes as Pamela Anderson, Playmate Dolly Reed, or maybe Jayne Mansfield.Coffee's hot and waiting. Remember, no guts...no glory. On the other hand, no coffee...some guts left.
Gloom and despair everywhere.One more try and then on to some serious drinking no matter what happens...or doesn't.
The 60's west coast folk/rock/pop group 'We Five' is chiefly remembered, if at all, as a one-hit wonder thanks to, 'You Were On My Mind.' However, they had a cut on their first LP which I've always thought was one of the finest, if unknown, songs in the pop category.I still can't believe I've finally gotten my linking troubles fixed, but if this sucker works, givethe song a listen and let me know what you think.
We Five: Love Me Not TomorrowNightcaps on the house...but you got to climb up there and get 'em yourself.
Morning, Monday moaners. Buzz brought his own coffee. For the rest of you there's a newly concocted (enuindo alert) pot of Busty's brew. Fortunately, there's also a newly opened case of Beaver Breath Brandy to fortify your drinking experience.Glad I am to have the Scooter-unit back among us. No extra charge for your BBB this morning, old pal...just the usual one. ;)
The Ikettes: I'm Bluehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAZw4L9R7l4Odds are the link won't work. Sorry about that. The Ikettes were the 'girl group' behind Ike and Tina Turner. Had a few modest hits.
The Ikettes: I'm Blue (The Gone, Gone Song)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAZw4L9R7l4Odds are that link won't work. But copy and past the URL and give a listen. IMHO, it'll be worth the trouble.
(slides over a JD and Coke)Maz, there's a rumor, totally unsubstantiated (the best kind), that it was you and CG, doing dirty with your toys in the lavatory of the Boeing 787 that caused those lithium batteries to melt down.Just a rumor, you understand...but if some folks from Boeing show up at your front door, better head out the back. ;)
What a fucking fantastic fuck! Making love outdoors was even better than Angie had imagined. Sitting astride her lover, feeling the sun and wind on her flushed, tingling skin was such a turn-on. Everything around them seemed so peaceful and sexy. The sounds of nature were accompanied by the rhythmic slurping of her lover’s thick shaft moving inside her wet, and, oh so happy, pussy. The more...
Added 07 Apr 2013 | Category Straight Sex
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| 3 Comments
Willie and the Brain By Rumple Foreskin Many hours later, as she faced questions from her sorority sisters, Tanya the Tri-Delt Tramp would remember, Willie, the frat boy she’d been screwing cowboy style that morning and his awesome orgasm that blew her off both his spurting cock and the bed. What she couldn’t understand and mentioned to no one was how, during lift off, she heard him...
Added 17 Jul 2012 | Category Love Stories
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| Views 1,062
| 8 Comments
NICE CAN BE VERY NICE by Rumple Foreskin Velma Meeks sat enthroned at one end of the worn couch in her haphazardly furnished living room. In the far corner, a muted TV flickered alone and unobserved. She lit a fresh cigarette with her old one, made a token attempt at crushing the butt, then left the still smoldering stub in the overflowing ashtray. After a deep drag, she leaned back and...
Added 26 Apr 2010 | Category Love Stories
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WAITING FOR MELINDA by Rumple Foreskin The cold rain told a sad story in a soft voice, and I was listening. I'm a good listener; always have been. Especially out here in the woods, in the rain, inside this small cemetery. I sit in the cab of my old truck, listening to the rain tell the story, and wait for Melinda. We don’t have nice winter weather around here. Seems like it’s always...
Added 11 Apr 2010 | Category Supernatural
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MIXED & MATCHED: an interracial incest love story by Rumple Foreskin A gentle kiss woke Sue. Opening her eyes, she looked up into the smiling face of her big brother. She grinned and returned his wake-up kiss then wrapped her arms around him and pulled his naked body down on top of hers. After a night spent making love, it was incredible how good she felt. There were no twinges of guilt,...
Added 21 Mar 2010 | Category Incest
| Votes 22 | Avg Score 4.75
| Views 13,369
| 6 Comments
What the hell’s going on around here? Bronson (the Big-Mouth Bass), having just stuck his head above the bayou's calm surface, now stared, even more dumbfounded than usual, at the new arrivals. Why had those two in that fancy fishing rig slipped past the screen of willow branches and tied up against the trunk? It was mid-day and too damn hot for any respectable fish to be feeding. Even...
Added 14 Feb 2010 | Category Voyeur
| Votes 33 | Avg Score 4.77
| Views 8,494
| 23 Comments
IT'S ABILITY THAT COUNTS by Rumple Foreskin Donna Faircloth was energized, turned-on and kneeling on the kitchen floor, giving her husband a surprise blowjob he'd never forget. She'd just come home with her emotions in overdrive after a daylong workshop on conducting group encounter sessions. Clay had been replacing the cover to the overhead light fixture when she walked in. Though...
Added 06 Feb 2010 | Category Reluctance
| Votes 9 | Avg Score 4.56
| Views 5,991
| 4 Comments
TAKING ON A MONSTER: an old-fashioned stroke story by Rumple Foreskin Cindy and her four lovers sprawled together in satisfied exhaustion, comparing notes on how they’d celebrated her birthday. Someone started tallying up the different encounters. The final count left everyone duly impressed with both the recuperative powers of the four guy’s and with Cindy’s stamina. "Damn, woman," ...
Added 22 Jan 2010 | Category Anal
| Votes 2 | Avg Score 5
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HANDLING THINGS IN THE PARK by Rumple Foreskin note: This is not a work of fiction. Only the names have been changed to protect the author from divorce lawyers and/or para-medics. It was a seductively beautiful Sunday afternoon in Central Park. Around the edge of a small, remote meadow, leaf covered trees, their limbs swaying gently in a light breeze, muffled the sound of distant...
Added 19 Jan 2010 | Category Masturbation
| Votes 5 | Avg Score 4.2
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CUNNILINGUS COUSINS by Rumple Foreskin Randi looked down at the short blond hair bobbing between her spread-eagled legs, and smiled. Getting eaten out like this had to be the absolute perfect way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Well, it might be even more perfect if Jake were here in bed with them. But while a most enthusiastic pussy licker, her kid brother couldn’t top the talented tongue...
Added 17 Jan 2010 | Category Incest
| Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.89
| Views 12,350
| 2 Comments
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