About RumpleForeskin

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Rumple Foreskin
Relationship Status:
Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx, Texas, United States
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
23 Jul 2014 (8 hours ago)
Page Viewed:
20,042 times
Days in Chat:
Forum Posts:
Latest Forum Posts
Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 23 Jul 2014 01:34

Morning, Seeker, and welcome back. Busty was beginning to wonder if you'd gotten lost in the great Canadian wilderness.Well, okay, that's not exactly what she said, but you get the idea. Good luck with the story.

So what'll you have a shot of, RK: Beaver Breath Brandy, Old Overshoe Whiskey: the despair of Needmore, Ky, or maybe a 5.56 full metal jacketed slug? We aim to please...so to speak.

Sharon, you done did Titty Tuesday real good.


Topic: Writing Words of Wisdom from Weird Al Yankovic
Posted: 19 Jul 2014 17:41

Thanks to, Al, all is now revealed, in a manner of speaking. ;)


Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 19 Jul 2014 17:33

Your Ladyship is an angel of enlightenment, ever battling against the forces of militant dumbassness. ;)


Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 18 Jul 2014 10:53

Sharon, I definitely think you should post Weird Al's words of wisdom on the Resources forum. Thanks.


Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Jul 2014 17:31

(slides over a double-shot of Old Overshoe Whiskey: the despair of Needmore, Ky) And what's more, she's driven several strong men to drink...bless her heart.


Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 16 Jul 2014 01:07

Morning, Lushketeers. Welcome, Sir Radiant. May I introduce Her Ladyship, the sublime Sharon? (reads her last post, takes a long pull on a bottle of Beaver Breath Brandy to help him recover) Here's hoping she graces us with a link to her upcoming, so to speak, semi-autobiographical story the moment it's posted.

As for, Dirty Martini, I'm agraid our very own 'Jersey Boy' is off wandering in the ozone somewhere south of, Nutly, NJ, no doubt searching for another honky-tonk where he hasn't already run up an over-extended, mega-bloated bar tab. It could, of course, be a very long hunt.


Topic: Quotation styles with comma and colon
Posted: 16 Jul 2014 00:14

Colons work best with non-fiction...quotation marks, especially for dialogue, is pretty standard for fiction. Example #2, combining both, is redundant and would probably get whacked by most editors.

It's usually best to let words, not attention-grabbing punctuation marks, carry the story, imo.


Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 04 Jul 2014 06:04

It's the 4th of July

Happy Birthday to US.
Happy Birthday to US.
Happy Birthday to the US of A.
Happy Birthday to US.
(Go ahead, click on the link. You'll be glad you did. Besides, it only lasts one minute, honest.)

I'll drink to that. Hell, I am drinking to that. ;)

And speaking of drinking, welcome to the seediest site in Lushland, Samjo. Don't worry about that drinking age crap. Here in the Free State of Rumplations, anyone who can see over the bar is deemed big enough to drink.


Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 01 Jul 2014 11:58

Blessings upon thee for that thoughtful, not to mention thought provoking, Titty Tuesday contribution.

As for wedding receptions...well, truth be told, this dump is better set-up for a post-wedding-rreception, reception. You know, one of those after-hours deals where the old folks have left, the bride and groom have come back after a quick consummation to join in the fun, the maid of honor and her group or using their teeth to undo the zippers of the best man and his gang who are still trying to recover from using their own teeth to remove garters from the legs of their female counterparts...or something sort of like that. ;)


Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 01 Jul 2014 07:54

Morning, Your Ladyship. I agree about Cheerleader and Linebacker. IMHO, they have a lot of potential for additional stories.

Hurry back. I mean, this is 'Titty Tuesday.' ;)


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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin
Feels So Right It Can’t Be Wrong: chapter 3

Kelly woke in her stepbrother’s bed cuddled next to his nude body. The sheet barely covered his morning erection. She thought about teasing him awake, it struck her as the big-sisterly thing to do, but then rolled onto her back, stretched, and immediately dozed off and slipped into yet another rerun of her dreams. Like most of those she’d had recently, they involved sex. Unlike the...

Added 30 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 10 | Avg Score 5 | Views 10,327 | 5 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 2

After a lot of poking, prodding, and teasing, the stepsiblings managed to disentangle and get off Jason’s bed. Before he could pull Kelly out of the room, however, she noticed the sheets. “Whoa. Halt. Stop. Sorry, but those sheets have got to go.” Jason protested but she remained adamant as only a somewhat fastidious big sister can be and began stripping the bed. Perhaps it was seeing her...

Added 27 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 10,741 | 5 Comments

Feels So Right, It Can’t Be Wrong: Chapter 1

Horny, nervous, and half-naked, Kelly Layton peeked through the open bedroom door. Inside, her kid brother, make that her kid stepbrother, lay stretched out on his unmade bed, reading a paperback. But he’s no kid, thought Kelly. Not anymore. Though still just eighteen, with his athletic build, dark hair, eyes the same steel-gray as his father’s, and a smile that could get him laid in...

Added 25 Jun 2014 | Category Taboo | Votes 21 | Avg Score 5 | Views 16,460 | 6 Comments


The old-style Checker cab inched away from the congested airport loading zone,then pulled out into the cold, rainy January evening and headed for a downtown hotel. Inside, Gwen studied Mark's face. For all she knew, he might have found someone special while back home. Hesitantly, even shyly, she asked, "Did you miss me?” Mark nodded, "You were all I could think about on the flight up....

Added 30 Mar 2014 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 19 | Avg Score 4.74 | Views 3,496 | 15 Comments

Compare and Contrast

After what she insisted would be a once-in-a-lifetime weekend spent making love with Mark Cahill, her ‘other’ man, the one who wasn’t her fiance’, Gwen had promised both herself and her friends it would never happen again. Her friends were openly skeptical. Her friends were right. Despite Gwen’s best intentions, the long weekend she spent with Mark wasn’t a one-time event, but the beginning...

Added 08 Feb 2014 | Category Oral Sex | Votes 8 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 4,038 | 5 Comments

Just A Brief Affair

In Mark Cahill’s considered opinion, things could be one hell of a lot worse. He was out of his room at the nearby Manhattan veterans’ hospital, sitting in a coffee shop on Lexington Avenue and staring across the small cluttered table into the soft, brown eyes of a very attractive student nurse. At the moment, she seemed to be saying something about school. He’d nod at times, even mumble to...

Added 27 Jan 2014 | Category Cheating | Votes 8 | Avg Score 5 | Views 11,923 | 6 Comments

Willie And The Brain

Willie and the Brain By Rumple Foreskin Many hours later, as she faced questions from her sorority sisters, Tanya the Tri-Delt Tramp would remember, Willie, the frat boy she’d been screwing cowboy style that morning and his awesome orgasm that blew her off both his spurting cock and the bed. What she couldn’t understand and mentioned to no one was how, during lift off, she heard him...

Added 17 Jul 2012 | Category College Sex | Votes 15 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 5,080 | 9 Comments

A Seasonal Seduction

"Bah, humbug." Cindy Davis was most definitely not overflowing with holiday cheer. In fact, her happy yuletide tank had been empty all week. Now she was filling up with Jack Daniels, but it wasn't improving her mood. Sue Cangelosi turned away from the mini-refrigerator and walked over with two re-filled plastic glasses. "Girl, you are just no fun at Christmas parties. That's no way to bring...

Added 18 Jan 2014 | Category Seduction | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.78 | Views 37,620 | 14 Comments

Looking for Sex in outdoor places: a cautionary tale

What a fucking fantastic fuck! Making love outdoors was even better than Angie had imagined. Sitting astride her lover, feeling the sun and wind on her flushed, tingling skin was such a turn-on. Everything around them seemed so peaceful and sexy. The sounds of nature were accompanied by the rhythmic slurping of her lover’s thick shaft moving inside her wet, and, oh so happy, pussy. The more...

Added 07 Apr 2013 | Category Humor | Votes 8 | Avg Score 4.63 | Views 4,229 | 4 Comments


NICE CAN BE VERY NICE by Rumple Foreskin Velma Meeks sat enthroned at one end of the worn couch in her haphazardly furnished living room. In the far corner, a muted TV flickered alone and unobserved. She lit a fresh cigarette with her old one, made a token attempt at crushing the butt, then left the still smoldering stub in the overflowing ashtray. After a deep drag, she leaned back and...

Added 26 Apr 2010 | Category Love Stories | Votes 6 | Avg Score 4.5 | Views 2,289 | 4 Comments

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Friends Comments
Friends Comments

Posted: 14 Jul 2014 20:04
Posted: 20 May 2014 10:48

Posted: 02 Apr 2014 11:10
Posted: 17 Mar 2014 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 16 Mar 2014 19:05
Happy Birthday Rumpy!!!

Posted: 16 Mar 2014 08:01

Thank you very much for reading My First Taste Of Cock...

I’m so grateful you took the time, thanks for your comment!

Posted: 31 Dec 2013 17:17
A Very Happy New Year to you and yours
Posted: 21 Dec 2013 07:31

Here to deliver presents: Merry Christmas!

Posted: 19 Dec 2013 22:55
Have enjoyable holiday season
Posted: 19 Dec 2013 14:31

Posted: 12 Dec 2013 03:58

Posted: 25 Oct 2013 12:13
Maz, anytime you're troubled by thoughts of me in the future, a couple shots of 151 proof rum should help relieve some of the pain.

Posted: 25 Oct 2013 05:41

I saw this today and thought of you...

Posted: 14 Oct 2013 05:19

Thank you so much for reading and commenting on Perfucktory!

I’m glad you enjoyed it, thank you for taking the time!

Posted: 19 Sep 2013 17:41
Thanks for adding me as a friend
Posted: 17 Mar 2013 09:31

Posted: 16 Mar 2013 12:00
Happy birthday to you, Rumple!

Posted: 16 Mar 2013 03:39
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 15 Mar 2013 21:24

Posted: 20 Feb 2013 09:30

Thank you very much for reading my competition story, Stanley Gets A Heart On...

I’m really glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so very much for reading and taking the time to comment, it really made my day!

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