About RumpleForeskin

Just your typical run down, beaten down, slapped down, broken down, shot down, hung down, put down, and kicked around old blind porn writer who's been beaten up, tied up, chewed up, blown up, hung up, screwed up, messed up, held up, and told to shut the fuck up.

Rumple Foreskin
Date Joined:
03 Jul 2009
Last Visit:
20 Apr 2014 (3 hours ago)
Relationship Status:
Lost in the ozone somewhere east of Luckenbach Tx, Texas, United States
recreational sex, writing about sex, thinking about sex, reading about sex, etc.
Favorite Books:
Those written by: William Faulkner Ernest Hemingway John Steinbeck Walter Mosley Alan Furst Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler P.G. Wodehouse George MacDonald Fraser Kinky Friedman Flannery O'Connor Eudora Welty Walker Percy among others
Favorite Movies:
Primarily comedies: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World Dr. Strangelove Support Your Local Sheriff/Gunfighter The Blues Brothers plus the films of: The Marx Brothers W.C. Fields Woody Allen Mel Brooks
Favorite Music:
Almost anything with the exception of: rap, polka, and a-tonal
Page Viewed:
18,010 times
Latest Forum Posts
Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 20 Apr 2014 09:06


Dearly beloved, with the current brew, not to mention, ha, proceeding on Lush's Site Announcement forum concerning the abrupt demise of the 'Incest' category, I felt lead to remind the public that within the sacred sancturary of, The First Church of the Burning Bush and Discount House of Lickers,our tenets are such that in-church canoodling between Brothers and Sisters (male and female parishioners) is both expected and even encouraged. The only requirements being that they practice 'safe canoodling' and never forget to use caps where appropriate.

note to parishioners: A fresh supply of sacramental wine having arrived, a clothes-optional baptismal service will be held this evening in the church hot tub.

The Right Rev. Rumple Foreskin :glasses:

Topic: A Statement concerning Lushstories.com's Ownership
Posted: 20 Apr 2014 06:27

Hang in there, Nic. Not unlike a kidney stone in the great urinary tract of life; this too shall pass...perhaps not without a certain amount of pain and discomfort, but, verily I say again, it shall pass, sooner or later.

note: A large ingestion of fluids should help the process along. ;)

Another divinely inspired message from:
The Right Reverand Rumple Foreskin, RRL (Right Rev of Lush)


Topic: The Incest Category is going to be removed
Posted: 19 Apr 2014 07:01

Driver, as someone mentioned earlier, *removed by admin* has an incest category. However, the minimum age is 18.

I've deleted my brother/sister incest stories but just hidden my lesbian tale with two cousins pending some definition.


Topic: The Incest Category is going to be removed
Posted: 19 Apr 2014 06:26

This is Nic's site...her business. If she wants to delete the 'incest' category, that's her call. But Reality is right, now comes the challenge of defining what Lush means by, incest. Does it include: first cousins, in-laws whether blood relatives or not, adopted relations, relatives legally allowed to marry, etc..

Just FWIW, I don't think this is a good move for Lush and I hope Nic gives this issue a careful second thought. But I'll still be hanging around no matter what happens.

Now I'm going to go delete my incest stories.


Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 18 Apr 2014 05:34

Seeker, I figure western civilization is in good hands if a 19 year old college student can use his time and brains to try ripping off the system. Makes you proud to be a homo sapian or even a hetero sapian. ;)


Topic: Announcing our new "Oral Sex" story competition, $600 in prizes.
Posted: 17 Apr 2014 06:33

Boo...hiss...grumble...grouse...mutter darkly

That's okay by me, Nic, honest. It just postpones another ego-shattering disappointment by a week. ;)


Topic: Editing Caution
Posted: 17 Apr 2014 06:18

Art is subjective. Writing is an art, not a science. Writers, editors, agents, etc. are human and therefore subjective, inconsistent, and sometimes just tired and not thinking straight. Deal with it...and don't forget to say 'please' and 'thank you'.


Topic: Frustrated over Editors.
Posted: 15 Apr 2014 04:46

It would be nice if Lush had a space on its sub page for notes to mods. That way fair warning could be passed along about oft-beat spellings or unorthodox usage that the writer feels needs to be retained. Might take a bit of the guess-work out of checking over subs.


Topic: Word 2013 and Win 8
Posted: 15 Apr 2014 04:21

Seeker, thanks for the 'Libre' info.
Chrissie, once upon a time, all Lush subs had to be in txt format. In these modern days, of course, standard Word docs work, most of the time. Sending the sub in txt or rtf format is still more reliable, probably, most of the time, with luck. ;)


Topic: RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted: 15 Apr 2014 03:49

It's April 15th...a day that continues to live in infamy, at least here in the States.



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Stories Published By RumpleForeskin

The old-style Checker cab inched away from the congested airport loading zone,then pulled out into the cold, rainy January evening and headed for a downtown hotel. Inside, Gwen studied Mark's face. For all she knew, he might have found someone special while back home. Hesitantly, even shyly, she asked, "Did you miss me?” Mark nodded, "You were all I could think about on the flight up....

Added 30 Mar 2014 | Category Flash Erotica | Votes 18 | Avg Score 4.72 | Views 2,896 | 15 Comments

Compare and Contrast

After what she insisted would be a once-in-a-lifetime weekend spent making love with Mark Cahill, her ‘other’ man, the one who wasn’t her fiance’, Gwen had promised both herself and her friends it would never happen again. Her friends were openly skeptical. Her friends were right. Despite Gwen’s best intentions, the long weekend she spent with Mark wasn’t a one-time event, but the beginning...

Added 08 Feb 2014 | Category Oral Sex | Votes 8 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 3,580 | 5 Comments

Just A Brief Affair

In Mark Cahill’s considered opinion, things could be one hell of a lot worse. He was out of his room at the nearby Manhattan veterans’ hospital, sitting in a coffee shop on Lexington Avenue and staring across the small cluttered table into the soft, brown eyes of a very attractive student nurse. At the moment, she seemed to be saying something about school. He’d nod at times, even mumble to...

Added 27 Jan 2014 | Category Cheating | Votes 6 | Avg Score 5 | Views 9,826 | 5 Comments

Willie And The Brain

Willie and the Brain By Rumple Foreskin Many hours later, as she faced questions from her sorority sisters, Tanya the Tri-Delt Tramp would remember, Willie, the frat boy she’d been screwing cowboy style that morning and his awesome orgasm that blew her off both his spurting cock and the bed. What she couldn’t understand and mentioned to no one was how, during lift off, she heard him...

Added 17 Jul 2012 | Category College Sex | Votes 15 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 3,934 | 9 Comments

A Seasonal Seduction

"Bah, humbug." Cindy Davis was most definitely not overflowing with holiday cheer. In fact, her happy yuletide tank had been empty all week. Now she was filling up with Jack Daniels, but it wasn't improving her mood. Sue Cangelosi turned away from the mini-refrigerator and walked over with two re-filled plastic glasses. "Girl, you are just no fun at Christmas parties. That's no way to bring...

Added 18 Jan 2014 | Category Seduction | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.76 | Views 35,703 | 13 Comments

Looking for Sex in outdoor places: a cautionary tale

What a fucking fantastic fuck! Making love outdoors was even better than Angie had imagined. Sitting astride her lover, feeling the sun and wind on her flushed, tingling skin was such a turn-on. Everything around them seemed so peaceful and sexy. The sounds of nature were accompanied by the rhythmic slurping of her lover’s thick shaft moving inside her wet, and, oh so happy, pussy. The more...

Added 07 Apr 2013 | Category Humor | Votes 8 | Avg Score 4.63 | Views 3,470 | 4 Comments


NICE CAN BE VERY NICE by Rumple Foreskin Velma Meeks sat enthroned at one end of the worn couch in her haphazardly furnished living room. In the far corner, a muted TV flickered alone and unobserved. She lit a fresh cigarette with her old one, made a token attempt at crushing the butt, then left the still smoldering stub in the overflowing ashtray. After a deep drag, she leaned back and...

Added 26 Apr 2010 | Category Love Stories | Votes 6 | Avg Score 4.5 | Views 2,178 | 4 Comments


WAITING FOR MELINDA by Rumple Foreskin The cold rain told a sad story in a soft voice, and I was listening. I'm a good listener; always have been. Especially out here in the woods, in the rain, inside this small cemetery. I sit in the cab of my old truck, listening to the rain tell the story, and wait for Melinda. We don’t have nice winter weather around here. Seems like it’s always...

Added 11 Apr 2010 | Category Supernatural | Votes 7 | Avg Score 4.86 | Views 2,421 | 5 Comments

Audio Story Editor's Pick HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex

What the hell’s going on around here? Bronson (the Big-Mouth Bass), having just stuck his head above the bayou's calm surface, now stared, even more dumbfounded than usual, at the new arrivals. Why had those two in that fancy fishing rig slipped past the screen of willow branches and tied up against the trunk? It was mid-day and too damn hot for any respectable fish to be feeding. Even...

Added 15 Feb 2010 | Category Voyeur | Votes 36 | Avg Score 4.74 | Views 9,201 | 25 Comments


IT'S ABILITY THAT COUNTS by Rumple Foreskin Donna Faircloth was energized, turned-on and kneeling on the kitchen floor, giving her husband a surprise blowjob he'd never forget. She'd just come home with her emotions in overdrive after a daylong workshop on conducting group encounter sessions. Clay had been replacing the cover to the overhead light fixture when she walked in. Though...

Added 07 Feb 2010 | Category Reluctance | Votes 11 | Avg Score 4.55 | Views 6,606 | 4 Comments

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Friends Comments
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Posted: 02 Apr 2014 11:10
Posted: 17 Mar 2014 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 16 Mar 2014 19:05
Happy Birthday Rumpy!!!

Posted: 16 Mar 2014 08:01

Thank you very much for reading My First Taste Of Cock...

I’m so grateful you took the time, thanks for your comment!

Posted: 31 Dec 2013 17:17
A Very Happy New Year to you and yours

Posted: 21 Dec 2013 07:31

Here to deliver presents: Merry Christmas!

Posted: 19 Dec 2013 22:55
Have enjoyable holiday season

Posted: 19 Dec 2013 14:31

Posted: 12 Dec 2013 03:58

Posted: 25 Oct 2013 12:13
Maz, anytime you're troubled by thoughts of me in the future, a couple shots of 151 proof rum should help relieve some of the pain.

Posted: 25 Oct 2013 05:41

I saw this today and thought of you...

Posted: 14 Oct 2013 05:19

Thank you so much for reading and commenting on Perfucktory!

I’m glad you enjoyed it, thank you for taking the time!

Posted: 19 Sep 2013 17:41
Thanks for adding me as a friend
Posted: 17 Mar 2013 09:31

Posted: 16 Mar 2013 12:00
Happy birthday to you, Rumple!

Posted: 16 Mar 2013 03:39
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

Posted: 15 Mar 2013 21:24

Posted: 20 Feb 2013 09:30

Thank you very much for reading my competition story, Stanley Gets A Heart On...

I’m really glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so very much for reading and taking the time to comment, it really made my day!


Posted: 08 Feb 2013 09:45

Posted: 22 Jan 2013 09:23
I want to thank you personally for being a wonderful loyal fan. I want to thank you for always reading my stories and making sure to keep up with them. I wouldn’t be where I am today without my fans. You help me, encourage me, and inspire me to continue reading. I love the feedback that you all give me and keep me going. It makes me smile every time I see a new comment or message on my stories. Thank you for helping me along the way. Thank you!
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