About StillUndecided

“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” — Maya Angelou

How strange, the change from major, to minor...

If you look closer, its easy to see the tracks of my tears. <-- Smokey Robinson came up with this one

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, seems all the world has gone insane... <-- Newton Faulkner came up with that one

There is beauty in danger, and danger in beauty... <-- I came up with that one

Your opinion is irrelevant, I was built to be magnificent. <-- Take That came up with that one

Music is my life, I was a student studying it until I finished my degree in May 2014. Music is how I relax and where I go to escape, the chances are if I don’t reply to you I’m lost in it.

Try this for me; listen to Brothers In Arms by Dire Straits in complete darkness, with headphones, and the volume up. I get shivers every time I do.

"Real music comes from on the inside, and your heart is the conductor of the words and the sounds and the instruments that are used to create a masterpiece for the symphony to play that leaves the audience to wonder at the excellence of what they have heard" - EroticElegance

"Music was my first love
And it will be my last
Music of the future
And music of the past
To live without my music
Would be impossible to do
In this world of troubles
My music pulls me through"

Music - John Miles

StillUndecided - Here we go, the thing everybody wants to know: What does it mean? Well, when I first joined, I was a little unsure of my sexuality, but now, that is a little more sorted. But, like the musician I am, I bent the rules, changed the game, and thus changed the meaning of what it was to be StillUndecided. Now it means that I don't know what the future is, the future for me is fluid, it is StillUndecided, subject to change at any time. I know what I want to happen with my future after uni, but I am undecided as to which of two routes to go down, to know more you'll have to ask me. EDIT Now I have finished, I still don't know what I'm doing.

I will always be open and honest with you, but this is considered to be my greatest downfall; when the openness and honesty come back to bite me when people hurt me.

Pyromania is taking over my thoughts...can you imagine that, a fire breathing turtle?

Not looking for anything from anyone except friendship, I've been screwed over and broken too many times to connect any more.

Sarah H
Relationship Status:
Having an affair with StillUndecided
Swimming back and forth across the Pennines, Lancashire, United Kingdom

I want to go skydiving.
I want to throw myself out of a plane and have a hell of a time doing it.

I was good at shooting when I was younger.
I want to shoot things again, gun or arrows.

I want to wing walk.
I want to be on a plane as it flies and feel everything.

I want to perform a massive gig.
I want to perform to hundreds of people and feel them knowing every beat of my music.

I want to write in every category on here.
I want to write and get good feedback for it.

I want to travel the world.
I want to travel and see how people live, see what they see, how they see it, but then see it all as a tourist too.

I want to help people through music.
I kind of do this already, but I want to do it more. Its so rewarding seeing how music helps people.

I want to be free.
I want to be free to say and think and do what I want to when I want to...

I want to draw and paint.
I want to do them like I used to when I was a kid and did them all the time.

I want to write a song that people know.
I want to write it and hear it places and think, I wrote that.

I want to accept who I am.
I want to accept it and know that I am good at what I do, that I am beautiful. I want to know that people like me, love me, respect me. Because I don't believe it right now.

I want to be happy.
Because I know I am not always happy.

I want to fall in love.
I want to fall in love and not get hurt, but I know hurt happens anyway, so I want to love and know how to react to the hurt.

I want to be me.
And I want a lot of things.
So for now, I am just going to be me.
Be me and know that things will happen.
Good or bad.
Happy or sad.
I'm gonna live my life and do gardening, just because nobody gardens any more.
Favorite Books:
Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict
Harry Potter Series
Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Revenge Wears Prada
The Devil Wears Prada
The Hobbit
The House of Night Series
The Princess Diaries Series
The Timetraveller's Wife

Asking me to pick a favourite book is a silly thing to do. I couldn't possibly pick just one. I would have to give you elements I liked in a whole long list of books, the ones listed above are those which I have at uni with me.
I love to read and I can get through books quickly. I used to work in a library while I was in secondary school and college and I'm completely used to rearranging books and even the layout of a library.
Favorite Authors:
Audrey Niffenegger
Chris Ryan
Douglas Adams
Eoin Colfer
J.K. Rowling
Lauren Weisberger
Nicholas Sparks
P.C. and Kristin Cast
Robert Westwell

Again, picking a favourite author is a difficult thing for me to do.
Favorite Movies:
A Knights Tale
Avengers Assemble
Bend It Like Beckham
Bride Wars
Calendar Girls
Captain America: The First Avenger
Cool Runnings
Finding Nemo
Get Smart
How To Train Your Dragon
Imagine You & Me
In Her Shoes
Iron Man 1, 2 & 3
Jeff Wayne's Musical War of the Worlds
John Tucker Must Die
Kingdom Of Heaven
Kung Fu Panda
Land Of The Lost
Miss Congeniality 1&2
Mrs Doubtfire
Nim's Island
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
School Of Rock
Stir Crazy
Sunshine Cleaning
The Boat That Rocked
The Devil Wears Prada
The Haunted Airman
The Invention Of Lying
The Money Pit
The Parole Officer
The Princess Diaries 1&2
The Silence of the Lambs
Wild Hogs
Wild Target
Yes Man

Anything with Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, Rachel McAdams or Amy Adams in it.

The list above is just those I have as dvds with me at uni.
Favourite TV Shows:
Game of Thrones
Grey's Anatomy
How I Met Your Mother
New Tricks
Orange Is The New Black
Silent Witness
The Big Bang Theory
The West Wing
Favorite Music:
All American Rejects
Amy Macdonald
Beach Boys
Beverley Knight
Bob Marley
Bruce Springsteen
Bruno Mars
Calvin Harris
Christina Perri
Clare Maguire
Daft Punk
David Bowie
David Grey
David Guetta
Dire Straits
Don Henley
Dusty Springfield
Ellie Goulding
Emeli Sande
Fiona Apple
Fleetwood Mac
Flo Rida
Florence & The Machine
Fontella Bass
Foo Fighters
Gabrielle Aplin
Goo Goo Dolls
James Brown
Jason Mraz
Jessie J
John Miles
Julie Fowlis
Justin Timberlake
Kaiser Chiefs
Kate Bush
Katy Perry
Kelly Clarkson
King Creosote
Knife Party
KT Tunstall
La Roux
Lady Antebellum
Lana Del Ray
LeAnn Rimes
Lily Allen
Maroon 5
Mel C
Michael Buble
Mick Hucknall
Natalie Imbruglia
Nerina Pallot
Newton Faulkner
Norah Jones
Olly Murs
Owl City
Paolo Nutini
Paper Aeroplanes
Pet Shop Boys
Peter Gabriel
Regina Spektor
Rita Ora
Robbie Williams
Scouting For Girls
Simply Red
Smokey Robinson
Snow Patrol
Sophie Ellis-Bextor
Spice Girls
Swedish House Mafia
Take That
The Beatles
The Cardigans
The Fray
The Hoosiers
The Killers
The Kooks
The Saturdays
The Smiths
Two Door Cinema Club
Walk Off The Earth
Will Young
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Date Joined:
27 Dec 2011
Last Visit:
31 Jul 2014
Page Viewed:
41,225 times
Days in Chat:
Forum Posts:
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Stories Published By StillUndecided
Falling Out Of Love

I have come to realise something important lately, I have fallen out of love with you, Everything that I was used to,  Shattered now by my feet. The time that I spent with you, Was like holding onto a whole bunch of balloons, Enough to make me fly, But slowly they've been popping and coming loose. The fall hasn't been quick, Not like someone cutting the strings, Just like my grip...

Added 29 Jul 2014 | Category Love Poems | Votes 14 | Avg Score 5 | Views 219 | 15 Comments

The Way It Hurts

The way it hurts, Has made me turn to nicotine and alcohol, Made me go against everything I am, All because of the pain you gave me, The day you left. I don't know what I'm meant to feel, Broken, or sad, or alone, Because you took away the ability to tell, The difference of one emotion from the other, All I know is I'm not happy. Down a whisky, Light the stick, Why did you have...

Added 27 Jul 2014 | Category Love Poems | Votes 12 | Avg Score 5 | Views 414 | 16 Comments


I wish I could make it easy, Easy to love me, Love me. That is the way the lyrics go, But nobody will, Love me. Maybe the hurt will leave, If I stay in the waves, Wash away. If I float away, Into the deep, Get lost. They won't love me, I won't let them, I fear. More hurt could come, More heartbreak, No. But I should just rest, Rest in the waves, Let love just find me....

Added 18 Jul 2014 | Category Love Poems | Votes 17 | Avg Score 4.94 | Views 299 | 19 Comments


These are the trinkets that remind me of you, These are the small things that pull me through, For you there is nothing that I wouldn't do, What I'd do without you, well I have no clue. That picture in that frame over there, I remember that night when we lived without a care, If I move it from the wall it looks bare, Just please know my heart you share. The simple necklace on the...

Added 30 Mar 2014 | Category Love Poems | Votes 8 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 392 | 10 Comments

When The Stars Refuse To Shine

I will love you, Even when the stars refuse to shine, I will cherish you, Even when the moon stops its gentle beams. Butterfly kisses, In the bright of day, I feel their lingering touch, Even when the stars refuse to shine. I feel your presence, Wherever I am, I feel how close you are, No matter how far. I don't need the light, I can see where I'm going, You light up the sky,...

Added 27 Mar 2014 | Category Love Poems | Votes 7 | Avg Score 5 | Views 362 | 8 Comments

If It Isn't Me

If it isn't me you're looking for, Then you're just playing with my heart, If it isn't me you're looking for, Then I need a new start, If it isn't me you're looking for, Then it is time for me to go, If it isn't me you're looking for, Before you ruin a work of art, If it isn't me you're looking for, I need to know quite soon, If it isn't me you're looking for, Then I'll sit and...

Added 18 Feb 2014 | Category Love Poems | Votes 3 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 434 | 3 Comments


I love you, You send me out of my mind, You make me a whole new person, You tell me I need to let it go, Become the person I should be, You tell me that I need to accept who I am, Embrace it, Love me, I love you. I love you, Everything you let me be, How you accept me every way, There is nobody else like you, You let my birds fly, Let me live free, Here I stand...

Added 17 Feb 2014 | Category Love Poems | Votes 8 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 810 | 8 Comments

Glass Bullets

Glass bullets Shattered my soul, When you said the words I never expected you would say. Glass bullets Split my heart into shards, And tore my world apart When you walked away. Glass bullets Are what you will find, Scattered everywhere, When you realise how wrong you were. Glass bullets Are your tool of choice, Cool and hard in your gun, But hot and slick as they slice the air....

Added 07 Feb 2014 | Category Love Poems | Votes 9 | Avg Score 5 | Views 852 | 10 Comments

The Invisible Woman

I sit here, Quietly, Awaiting what is now familiar, You to walk straight past me, Without even batting an eye. You noticed me, Once upon a time, You raised your head and smiled, Brightening my day drastically, But it isn't like that any more. You may as well pass straight through me, You never glance my way, Things are quite different now, Your eyes, they never caress me, ...

Added 06 Feb 2014 | Category Love Poems | Votes 15 | Avg Score 4.87 | Views 615 | 15 Comments

A Walk In The Park

Loving you is like a walk in the park, Easy, free, very much a stroll, The slow pace we take is only to admire, To see the beauty that is going on around us. Even on the darkest of days, The love you radiate casts light, Lights up the dullest of places, Makes the flowers lean towards you. Everything becomes an adventure, The tall trees at the sides of us, The streams that...

Added 02 Feb 2014 | Category Love Poems | Votes 11 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,000 | 11 Comments

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