About Te11tale

Ex air force, fed up with reality but what can ya do?
Looking for a few laughs and some fun.
On my first Lush incarnation I wrote stories, mainly reluctance based but the odd other (very odd?).
Married Bluepiglet in the first ever Lush wedding, officiated by Curlygirly.

Ian Parker
Relationship Status:
Married to bluepiglet
Just below my hair., Hampshire, United Kingdom
Aviation, castles, Bluepiglet, dragons.
Favorite Books:
Belgariad, Malorean, Sparhawk. Time wars (Simon Hawke), Horse clans, Sharp, Discworld, others.
Favorite Authors:
Pratchett, Richard Herman (Jnr), David Eddings, Cornwell.
Favorite Movies:
Battle of Britain, Marvel super dupers, Despicable me (1 + 2), Star wars/trek, Battle of the river plate, Flyboys and more.
Favourite TV Shows:
Big bang theory. True blood, Almost human, NCIS, Top gear, Family guy.
Favorite Music:
STATUS QUOOOOOOOoo, too many too list.
Date Joined:
24 Jul 2014
Last Visit:
30 Jul 2014
Page Viewed:
54 times
Days in Chat:
Forum Posts:
Favourite Stories

No favourite stories listed.

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Latest Forum Posts
Topic: Have you ever been offered a payment to sleep with somebody?
Posted: 30 Jul 2014 14:33

Aged nineteen I was offered money to marry a thirty one year old woman, in order to give her sixteen and thirteen year old kids a home. We were sleeping together at the time. I actually gave it some thought. But married at nineteen, sixteen year old step son?

I said no.

Topic: Free Raffle - Gold Membership Prize
Posted: 30 Jul 2014 14:21

What a kind man you are CNS.


Topic: Curlygirly and Mazza's BIG sandwich!!
Posted: 30 Jul 2014 14:04

Hi Ginger, this fool tried selling crap door to door on tied up Tuesday.


Topic: Freak out the Walmart (or a store) cashier
Posted: 29 Jul 2014 15:22

Potatoes, greens, mushrooms, pate, ready to roll pastry and a large joint of topside of beef. And two bottles of white wine.

Topic: I know i've been a lush stories member too long when.................
Posted: 29 Jul 2014 14:16

I answered the phone the other day. Instead of hello, I asked the caller "Kiss, fuck or pass?"

And without thinking, I just said pass. Damn. dontknow

Topic: The ladies against the gentlemen.
Posted: 29 Jul 2014 14:12

That's odd, SJ and I popped into town last night for a spot of dinner, this was taken just before we all sat down.


Topic: The funniest joke you've heard.
Posted: 28 Jul 2014 09:11

Three dogs are at the vet, talking while the owners do paper work etc. An Irish wolfhound, a German shepherd and a corgi.

The wolfhound asks the corgi what she is in for?

"I'm a chewer," she said, "I can't help it, I just chew whatever is in sight when the mood takes me, so I am being put to sleep!"

The other two dogs are astounded, what a punishment just for being a dog.

"What about you?" the shepherd is asked.

"I bite" he said, "anyone and everyone, I just can't contain myself, even I have worried about it."
And he then said he was also not going home, except in an urn.

Again the others were just bowled over with the severity of the punishment.

"So", askes the corgi, "what about you?" she asks the wolfhound.

"Well, one morning, after Master went to work, I went for a wander round the house, and I found the Mistress in the bathroom, bent over drying her legs,
totally naked and open. What could I do? I just got up there and humped her!"

"Oh no, so we are all going to die then!" says the corgi.

The wolfhound says, "Oh no, that incident was yesterday, today I am here to get my claws trimmed."

Topic: Things To Do In The Bedroom To Ruin The Mood (ABC Style)
Posted: 28 Jul 2014 08:41

Mooning at a passing cop car. bootyshake

Topic: Freak out the Walmart (or a store) cashier
Posted: 28 Jul 2014 08:36

A book on endangered species, and a crossbow with a full quiver of bolts.

Topic: Do YOU and your Lover have a "Your Song"? If so, what is it?
Posted: 28 Jul 2014 08:29

This came out just at the right time, Bluepiglet and I would feel just like this.


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Recent Activity
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Friends Comments
Friends Comments
Posted: 29 Jul 2014 14:16
Storytime!! Xx
Posted: 27 Jul 2014 00:20
Happy Birthday from the Lush team.
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