About b1cur10usmiguy

I've always been a shy male that ‘embarrasses easily. I prefer to stay home & relax with a movie than go out to any bar or club. I don’t drink, never smoked, & have never done any drugs. I also, have never had any STD’s. I'm a straight acting BI-CURIOUS MARRIED MAN. I have only been intimate with two women, & still to this day have never experienced a man sexually, which consumes the majority of my thoughts & desires. I regret not exploring my sexuality more prior to meeting my wife, especially with men. I have always avoided trying to meet others due to my insecurities of my penis size & my weight. This is a huge factor why it took me till my early 20’s to have my first kiss & sexual moment with a woman.

I have told my wife in great detail of all my desires. HUGE MISTAKE!!! She didn’t take any of it well, especially when it came to me wanting to experience a man sexually. She is completely DISGUSTED with my curiosities & wanting to have an open sexual relationship. To this day, she’s seemed to have blocked it all out of her mind, like we never had the conversation. I occasionally give her hints that I am still interested in experiencing a man but she ignores it & changes the topic. Honestly, I don’t blame her. It’s got to feel like a slap in the face. Unfortunately, it’s not like I can simply stop fantasizing over the thought of being with men, trust me I have tried. I am truly jealous of all you men out there that your women understand & allow you to be with other men & woman.

I am as attracted to woman as much as any straight man could be, but find myself fantasizing more of being with a man sexually, most likely due to the fact I have never been with a one. I never say to myself “that’s a hot looking guy” like I do with woman. But when I look at pics & vids of nude men I get so uncontrollably aroused. With men it’s simply about wanting to fool around with them intimately & allowing them to have their way with me.

I'm surprised how many men today are secretly gay, bi or curious. I am grateful for sites like this that enables us all to connect in some way. I have always hoped that a guy just passing me by or someone I know could tell I’m curious & make the first move. Why can’t it be that easy? Even if I knew some guy was gay/curious/bi I wouldn’t even know how to make the first move. Are there places that men go to, to look specifically for other men without it being obvious? Is there a “secret look” to let another man know I’m curious of men? Any comments, suggestions and/or personal experiences from men & woman are welcome.

I have been attracted to men sexually for many years & have always thought there was something wrong with me & that I was alone. Its one reason I never pursued a physical relationship with a guy. Not to mention, I never had any indication that any male friends or acquaintances had an attraction for men as well. I’ve been dealing with this all for many years & it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier. My desires to be with men have only grown more intense over the years. I am attracted to men around my age & older. Obviously I want to be with other woman as well, but it’s much easier to control those urges than those with men.

I find myself in an endless back & forth battle of wanting desperately to accept another mans offer to meet, even if it’s as simple as me stroking their cock. That in itself would be a huge burden lifted. I don’t want to be that guy who all of his life has wondered & regretted not experiencing a man. I truly wish I never had any of these desires to be with men, but I’ve come to realize it’s something that isn’t going to go away, & something I need to do eventually for myself so I am not struggling with this the rest of my life. There have been a couple of times where I was ready to meet, had the hotel room, tried to contact the guy I was having an ongoing chat relationship with at the time, but couldn’t get a hold of him. Prior to these instances it has never been an issue getting a hold of this specific guy. This makes me believe I’m not meant to get with men. Anyone have any thoughts?

When my wife is away I enjoy masturbating to gay & straight porn & showing myself on my webcam. I enjoy taking nude pics of myself in different positions. I masturbate in the shower often as well as shave my penis & balls bald. I like to masturbate multiple times a day, because each time I cum, it feels much more intense than the last time. I have a good imagination especially when fantasizing of men. I bought a “real feel” vibrator so I can pretend giving head & I occasionally use it on myself. I get this overwhelming sensation through out my body especially when imagining giving head or being serviced by a man. A big turn on is when I look at comments men make on my pictures that I have posted on adult sites. I get all horny imagining those men having their way with me.

An issue I have after cumming is instantly all those uncontrollable desires of wanting to experience men disappear. I think to myself "What Am I Doing"? I also am disgusted with myself at times. Sure, the urges come right back shortly after, but that short time in between I end up questioning myself about all my desires. I would love (need) to hear from any of you, men & woman, with any comments, experiences (good & bad), &/or suggestions you think could help me in dealing with these never ending thought consuming sexual desires that I can not seem to control. I am always respectful towards others & their feelings so please respect my situation as well.

Lansing, Michigan, United States

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