For those of you that have read over my profile in its entirety (sorry for the length, lots on my mind).I've always been a shy, insecure male that embarrasses easily. I feel awkward & out of place easily when in big groups or when being around anyone I do not know personally. I prefer to stay home & relax with a movie, than go out to any bar or club. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, & have never done any drugs. I also, have never had any STD’s. I'm a straight acting BI-CURIOUS MARRIED man. I have only been intimate with two women, & still to this day have never experienced a man sexually, which consumes the majority of my thoughts & desires. I regret, not exploring my sexuality more prior to meeting my wife, especially with men. I have always avoided trying to meet others due to my insecurities of my penis size & my weight. I have told my wife in detail of all my desires of wanting to be with men. HUGE MISTAKE!!! She is completely DISGUSTED with my curiosities & wanting to have an open sexual relationship. To this day, she’s seemed to have blocked it all out of her mind, like we never had the conversation. I occasionally give her hints that I am still interested in experiencing a man, but she ignores it & changes the topic. Honestly, I don’t blame her. I can not imagine how hurt she must have felt after telling her of my feelings. Unfortunately, it’s not like I can simply stop fantasizing over the thought of being with men. Trust me, I have tried. I am truly jealous of all you men that your women understand & allow you to be with other men & woman.I am attracted to woman as much as any straight man could be, but find myself fantasizing more of being with a man sexually, most likely due to the fact that I have never been with a man. In public I never think to myself “that’s a hot looking guy” like I do with woman. But when I look at pics & vids of nude men I get so uncontrollably aroused. With men it’s simply about wanting to fool around with them intimately & allowing them to have their way with me. I'm surprised how many men today are secretly gay, bi or curious. I am grateful for the endless amount of websites that enables us all to connect in different ways. I have always hoped that a guy just passing me by or someone I know could tell I’m curious & make the first move. Even if I knew some guy was gay/curious/bi, I wouldn’t even know how to approach him. Are there any local places near me that men go to, to look specifically for other men without it being obvious? Is there a “secret look” to let another man know I’m curious of men? Any comments, suggestions and/or personal experiences are welcome.I have been attracted to men sexually for many years & have always thought there was something wrong with me. Growing up, I thought I was alone. Was I ever wrong! It’s the main reason I never pursued a physical relationship with a guy. Not to mention, I never had any indication that any male friends or acquaintances had an attraction for men as well. I’ve been dealing with this for many years & it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier. My desires to be with men have only grown more intense over the years. I am attracted to men around my age & older. Obviously, I want to be with other woman as well, but it’s much easier to control those urges than those with men.I find myself in an endless back & forth battle of wanting desperately to accept another mans offer to meet, even if it’s as simple as stroking their cock. That in itself would be a huge burden lifted. I don’t want to be that guy, who all of his life, has wondered & regretted, not experiencing a man. I truly wish I never had any of these desires to be with men in the first place. But, I’ve come to realize it’s something that isn’t going to go away, & something I need to do eventually for myself, so I am not struggling with this the rest of my life. My concerns are that I will enjoy being with men so much that I will become addicted to meeting men & disregard all the concerns that go along with it. STDs, & the thought of cheating on my wife.There have been a couple of times where I was ready to meet a specific guy, had the hotel room, tried to contact the guy I was having an ongoing chat relationship with at the time, but couldn’t get a hold of him. Prior to these instances it has never been an issue getting a hold of this specific guy. This makes me believe I’m not meant to get with men. Anyone have any thoughts?I would rather masturbate alone while looking at porn than having sex with my wife. When we do have sex its good, but I am always wondering what it could be like with a man. What am I missing out on? I enjoy masturbating often to gay & straight porn. I am really into "Edging". The orgasms are so much more amazing then having a normal sex orgasm. I also have a huge attraction for shemales. Watching others on their webcam is a big turn on. I love reading erotic stories. And occasionally, I get in the mood of wanting to take nude photos of myself.An issue I have after cumming is instantly all those uncontrollable desires of wanting to experience men disappear. I think to myself "What Am I Doing"? I also am disgusted with myself at times. Sure, the urges come right back shortly after, but that short time in between I end up questioning myself about all my desires. I would love (need) to hear from any of you, men & woman, with any comments, experiences (good & bad), &/or suggestions you think could help me in dealing with these never ending thought consuming sexual desires that I can not seem to control. I am always respectful towards others & their feelings so please respect my situation as well.
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That Unforgettable Night I wake up suddenly in the dark, realizing while I was sleeping, my wife began giving me a blowjob. I don’t mean just your average sympathy BJ that many wives give when they are trying to just get it out of the way. It’s actually the most amazing BJ I have ever experienced and/or could imagine. I so badly want to ask her to turn on the lights, so I can see what my...
Added 07 Jun 2012 | Category Bisexual
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