Forum posts made by centerline

I'm a huge fan of both white and green teas. My advice to people who don't like it but want to drink it for the health is to do some research on how to properly steep it (temperature, duration, tea to water ratios), and use that information as a starting place to experiment on how you like it. I like my green brewed at 79 degrees centigrade, and white at 66 or 67 for about three minutes. You can taste it, but it remains delicate. Both green and white (but especially white) are excellent for re-brewing as well.

Maybe an amendment?

Or a clarification?

I've been trying to get my girlfriend to do me since we got together, but obviously we need to start slow, before buying a strap-on, and she isn't that comfortable with toys yet. Girls, you might be surprised how many guys are into it. I know that's not the answer to this question, but it's an answer to somebody's, and it's a good point to reinforce. Lots of dudes like to get fucked by girls!

I accept that, slipperywhenwet2012. I only bashed the people who were rude, though, and only for being rude. I'm prepared, I just enjoyed the debate. I also, in my single bashing post, acknowledged the apology that somebody gave me (at somebody else' solicitation - not my own), and suggested it was humorous. I'm not pissed off or hurt or anything at all. I was just posing a question, and honestly, quite a bit of debate has come from it now which I like. I just wanted it to be polite, as opposed to the people who list all the things that are wrong with me for asking. I only said you didn't understand it because you opened your post by asking if you did, and from reading your post, it did not seem like you did. No worries.

The last post I had was not in response to you, by the way, but to the entire thread, as well as things that have been said to me in other discussions. I'm never intending to be rude about anything, and I'm glad you told me you thought I was. I'll endeavor to adjust my tone.

Another thought. Maybe we need to review male sexual physiology for a moment.

The male orgasm does cause ejaculation, but that's far from the whole experience. Like the female orgasm, it does cause pleasurable sensation both in the genitals and the rest of the body. The contractions of the ejaculatory system are not an inconsiderable part of what feels good about ejaculation to most men, and when they are increased in number and intensity, it is pleasurable. Also, it helps strengthen all the muscles involved in that process.

What this practice involves is preventing ejaculation by pressing at the base of the penis AS THE ORGASM OCCURS, thereby preventing the expulsion of the fluid. It is not meant to be done during sex with a partner.

I am NOT suggesting a way for women to torture their boyfriends.

I am NOT suggesting a form of birth control (please, please tell me nobody thought this, but it occurred to me to mention).

I am NOT suggesting that anybody masturbate and intentionally fail to orgasm, as that would indeed be pointless.

I am NOT suggesting anything, really. All I am doing, is asking if anybody had experience with it or interest in or knowledge on the subject. That's really it, folks. I like that people took it so far outside the realm of what I meant, though, it's sort of funny. Two people responded with any degree of tact or decorum. I'll now acknowledge that the original post was a bit confusing, but I had just woken up from a nap and was not yet caffeinated, and asking something that was brought up again by a dream I had.

Well, I guess we're back to people missing the point, but that's okay.

There's a lot to it in terms of the contractions within the body being pleasurable for he who is having the orgasm, as well as the lack of release being pleasurable. Furthermore, it tends to decrease the time before you can orgasm again, and for some it reinvigorates the sexual part of the brain or even the body's general energy level. It's a complex practice with different significance to different groups.

It doesn't stop the orgasm at all, it simply prevents the fluid from exiting the body. It mostly gets reabsorbed naturally, and what doesn't gets expelled when he happens to urinate later on. The point is, for some, it increases pleasure. Read the whole thread and you'll see (a lot of people being dicks, and talking about how their dicks and what they do with them are the best, and) that there's some merit to it and a lot of history as a religious practice. Also, some traditional martial arts teach it (though not in any I've ever practiced.)

So, in essence slipperywhenwet2012, no, you do not understand correctly. It's a masturbatory practice, with centuries of tradition and I started the post to see what people might have to share on the history (primarily) and (secondarily) health effects (which as far as I know, are neither positive nor negative).

I've never had a ton of luck getting a guy off when I go down on him. I get him almost there, and then I have to finish him with my hands or let him fuck me. It's a problem for my ego, mostly, but I'd love to know the answer.

I know guys are different just like girls, and that there isn't just one answer, but I would love to be able to make a guy cum in my mouth and watch his face contort. Thanks to anybody who can help.

Eye contact is definitely important on both ends of a blowjob. It increases the intimacy for mot of us, there's considerable psychological evidence to suggest that it increases both sensation and arousal in both individuals, and it's just plain hot. Of course, it's normal to close your eyes sometimes or just look at the organ your pleasuring for a while when you're really into it, but the eyes should be involved just as much.

People who don't like to make eye-contact during a blowjob usually have some kind of an emotional or psychological hang up with regards to the act of oral sex in general, either receiving it or performing it. This usually stems from the part of the mind that Carl Jung referred to as the Super-Ego, which is fundamentally the rules and guidelines of social behavior defined by external forces (family, religion, close social circles... sometimes the state) that force, coerce, demand, or in some cases actually deserve your respect.

I realize that's a tremendous simplification of Jung's concepts, but it's the relevant bit for this moment. Please, if anybody has something to add on the subject, do. I always like a good discussion of Jung an Sex. Weird guy. Really into spanking (and no, I'm not just referencing the movie. That was his wife, anyway.)

I guess since I used to do it when I more routinely gave head to guys :( so I feel good about hearing the other girls doing it. It is a preference thing, but it's also an intimacy thing. I never liked to with guys who were just using me to get laid (even if I was using them), but if they showed me a little respect and courtesy when they went down on me then I was more inclined to go for it. Even the one night stands.

That's decent advice. I say we're good at communication, but not so good when we're actually engaged. We both need to work on our sex voices to not sound so contrived (in her case) or so unenthusiastic (in my case - just the voice mind you). It makes us self-conscious in a way we don't quite know what to do about. Thanks again to everybody who's helped out so far.

I would be more into it if I could wake her up the same way sometimes, but I've never met a woman (including my girlfriend) who enjoys it. It's not that I don't like a blowjob, but I don't cum very quickly, so making that happen with a mouth or hand is sometimes a bit tiresome unless I'm really into it, and it can be a little frustrating if I'm not in it psychologically, but my body thinks it is. It can be good, but definitely not always. A blowjob without waking me up, on the other hand can produce some extremely interesting subpsychological results in my dreams, and that's decidedly hot (I like her to have that kind of control over me).

Hmmmm the word 'gangbang' just brings to mind a load of guys all fucking and cumming on a girls face with no regard for her comfort or pleasure. Not a turn on for me.

Now if i was the center of attention with 2 or 3 guys who all tried their hardest to please me... then we might talk

Yeah.

The term gangbang does kind of denote a bunch of frat guys drunkenly jackhammering away at a girl who may or may not be into any of them. There are lots of kinds of group sex, but that's just a crude term. Also, it's hard to engage with more than two or three partners at the absolute most. More than that and people are just taking turns, or getting left out. Either way, it's not very fun for most of us.

The first time I gave a handjob I was eighteen or nineteen, and my partner was a little older. We were in the bath at his place and he kept saying he was about to cum for five or six minutes before he did. I was pretty frustrated, thinking I was doing something wrong, but then he arched his back started convulsing. He sprayed my chest, face and neck with more cum than I've gotten on me at one time to this day (including some multi-partner events). I have to say, I was damn pleased with myself after that.

I know it depends on how somebody is feeling. I'm the same way, I have orgasms that are little more than a chore because I know it's healthy to do so regularly, and some that literally black out my vision, overwhelm my hearing with a dull pulsing sound and cause my whole body to tingle so much I once actually thought I had caught fire. I know that nobody wants to feel that all the time, and this thread did not stem from my feelings of inadequacy, and wouldn't be even if I'd never gotten her to that point just like she has done to me. I just like to be as good at something I do regularly as I can be, and I feel it's my responsibility to keep getting better at it, so I can take her there when she wants to, rather than just when I happen to be doing exceptionally well.

We communicate extremely well, but I sought outside counsel because we have both sort of hit a block lately with regards t how to articulate what it is we're desirous of at any given time. Thanks for all the advice we've gotten so far.

Thank you!

I was not concerned about deaths, but I appreciate the nod in that direction for those who may continue to misunderstand what the hell I'm getting at. Maybe the multiple orgasm thing will get their attention. :) Anyway, I'm glad for the confirmation.

I thought of one more thing which may help spark an idea in somebody's head. I said that getting her to cum isn't a problem, which it's not, and not surprisingly she (like most women) doesn't cum from vaginal intercourse, or at least never has, but I did get her to orgasm a couple of times by going down on her.

Like I mentioned in my last post, I get male genitals much better. I can make a guy cum by going down on him with ease, but I'm still relatively new at performing oral sex on a woman and wonder if there might be advice on that front as well. She did seem to have great orgasms on those couple of occasions and I wonder if there's a correlation due to the difference in texture/pressure. I suspect that may be useful information for anybody who's trying to help. Thanks again.

Thanks. I didn't imagine anybody would be able to solve the problem directly, totally, or instantly, but any suggestions are helpful, either because they help us to find something that works, or to find something that doesn't. A lot of the problem stems from the fact that over ninety percent of my sex life before this relationship was between me and guys. Guys I know what to do with, despite my own psychological differences, I found dick much more straight forward. I do love the learning, though.

In response to Sensei, no, it isn't painful, it's very invigorating, and feels great. It tends to double or triple the number of contractions, and if you urinate afterward it takes care of itself anyway. For 1ball, I know that it's not critically dangerous, as many people do it occasionally without any problems, though I would not endorse it for others unless I knew more, and your comment is perfectly valid. Fireballsteve, but it's not something I do routinely, nor something I do when I'm not alone- my girlfriend loves to see or feel me cum, but she isn't always around. If you have tits and faces to cum on every time you ejaculate, I might postulate that your computer screen is hard to see at all, so I don't care that you misread the post. That said, thank you for the apology, I just wanted to jab you back.

Fortunately for me, I don't really care that most men are jerks when it comes to sex, but if anybody stumbles across this who isn't, it's not that there's a lack of orgasm- just ejaculation- and there's quite a bit of precedent for it. I'm a little surprised that nobody's heard of this, but whatever. I was asking other guys who actually know what they're talking about on the subject, either medically or with regards to the history of the practice I was describing. I can research it on my own, but was curious to hear about other people's experiences.

Anyway, if somebody has something useful I'd love to hear it. If you just want to continue being dicks (and none of the other parts that are attached to them)- well, you know what? Go ahead. If it actually makes you feel better, I'm happy to be here for you.

I hope you're lives are as pleasant as you are.

Hug.

That is useful advice, so thanks.

That said, let me revise my question a little. First, I have asked her, and she wasn't able to give me an answer because she's not a hundred percent sure, or probably even fifty percent. The best we've come up with is that I need to do something different when she starts to cum. I realize that there is not a single answer to this question, and that many answers will be valid and many will be invalid from woman to woman, but if anybody has some more specific advice of things we can try, that would be great.

Thanks a bunch to everybody who's responded so far, though.

Hey guys.

My initial interest in this came from a pretty ancient Taoist practice, where by applying pressure, you force the semen backward when you orgasm, thereby not ejaculating. I find it tends to invigorate me rather than draining me the way some orgasms can. I wonder if anybody knows more about the Taoist significance than I do, and moreover what the medical community might have to say on the subject.

Either in a sauna that any one or group of about fifteen people could have come into at any time, or on the floor in the middle of a party. And somebody else's dark room was a close runner up. You pick.

I know my own body very well. While MTF trans, I'm bio-male and it's 99% likely I'm going to stay that way. Just for context, I'm aware of how the procedures work. I mention it because my orgasms while physiologically similar to male orgasms, are psychologically much more female- for example, I have to want to cum, no matter how skilled or intense the physical attention I'm getting is, I won't if I'm not there mentally, and in my experience that's an almost universally female trait. However, keeping my orgasm going, or making it more and less intense is not a challenge on me (or on other guys, despite the differences), but I've (relatively) recently found myself in a long term monogamous with a woman and there are some things I don't understand yet, as most of my prior experience is with men.

It's not a challenge to get her to cum during the encounters she wants me to. That's fine. Got it down, which I'm happy about, but what I don't understand is how to keep it going. I think I'm being too intense after she starts to cum and it's shutting her down (something I've experienced), but I'm not sure what do do once I get her there besides continue what I've been doing up until that point. Should I go back to varying the routine the way I was before she cums?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Oh, I'm using mostly my hands and tongue in this particular part of the encounter, usually.

I love it. I love going down on my girlfriend In my experience, most girls like it to some extent, even if they only like it BECAUSE it pleases their partner. and while some have an honest aversion to it, most who don't have had a negative experience.

I'm sure you would find it fun, as long as everybody played nice. Just make sure ya'll know the rule and then go for it, man.

...I wear as skirt around the house, because it's more comfortable. I find also, a correlation between wearing a skirt and spontaneous handjobs. That could just be to do with easier access though.

I think 40H or something, but I also enjoy smaller boobs. Depends on who their attached to, and if they're real (no fake boobs; ick!). It's a matter of appropriateness for the body type I think.

I don't think it's intrinsically intimidating, no. Anybody who thinks it is probably has a self-esteem issue regarding their own intelligence, and may well not be ready for relationship. My girlfriend and I are pretty evenly matched, and we do have a lot of overlap, but we also have radically different areas of expertise. I think the fact that she's capable and intelligent is extremely attractive. Sometimes she says something that blows me away with her intelligence, or plays something beautiful on her guitar and that makes me want to throw her down on the bed, couch, floor, counter, table, etc. as much as anything else.

Sometimes the fact that she's known a little more professional success in her field than I have is a tiny bit intimidating, but I also know that she loves me, and that the fact that I haven't had much of my work published or produced is a failing of mine and not hers, because I haven't tried too hard to get it published or produced, just because I'm a bit of a perfectionist. She's shaking that off me a bit, and I can see that as her using her knowledge and experience to help me grow my own.

So, the gist is, attractive. If I ramble, I apologize. I'm verbose because I want to be helpful.

Well, once again, I feel that I can offer a unique opinion, given my orientation and sexual identity. I'm sick of posting a disclaimer so you can just check my profile if you're interested, it'll explain better anyway, but essentially I'm pan, poly and trans (non-op, bio-male).

As somebody who is fundamentally polyamorous, I'm capable of high levels of enthusiasm for several partner events. That said, it has to be done very carefully in the context of an existing relationship, particularly an existing long-term romantic relationship involving only two individuals. Discussion, selection/invitation, execution, and review are all important.

There are two steps to the discussion. "Is it okay, and who are we both interested in?" is the first part. This entails several things, including which sex and gender (yes, they're different) is desirable or acceptable. Also the question of if it should be somebody you both know and care about already (I really can't recommend including somebody who has a relationship with only one partner), or if somebody relatively new (say, somebody you met at a party) should become your cameo or guest star.

The second discussion comes in after the selection and invitation of that individual (which is a delicate process that I'm just going to flat out leave alone), and that's the rules. All three parties have to know the rules, and my best suggestion on that is that ANY one person, at ANY time can announce that they're uncomfortable and the whole thing has to stop right away.

The only thing I have to say about execution, is just play nice. Make sure nobody gets left out. If one person is in the middle, I say to that person, get some attention from behind while you're doing what you're doing to the other one, and then turn around. Everybody move around. If you've done it a few times and you're all getting bored, start teaching each other the things you do which are getting the job done. The best part about three(or more)somes is the learning, as long as everybody's comfortable.

The last thing is review. Talk about it afterward. With your guest star, and then talk about it more when it's just the two of you. You might be surprised the things that can fester in your thoughts when you don't know what's on your partner's mind. You might also be surprised how much damage can be avoided or reversed just by talking to them.

Hope that helped.

Yeah, it's true.

Quick guide.

Lots of fruit and red/orange vegetables - sweeter.
Lots of green vegetables - a little more well rounded.
Lots of meats - Irony. (not a favorite for most of us, but some people are really into it. I blame vampire erotica.)
Lots of candy - sweet, but in a bad way. Like a mix of bad rum and sour white wine, but slimy.
Lots of salts - Salty.
Lots of spicy foods - will actually give a peppery finish to your cum. Watch out, boys, this is completely hit or miss for us, so be careful.

Pansexual, non-op MTF trans girl here. Just for context.