Forum posts made by centerline

Topic Should I just give up any hope of her ever loving me???
Posted 10 Jul 2013 19:07

Almost beyond repair isn't beyond repair. I bet you can do it if that's what you want. A good time to bring it up might be when she says something like that, and you can challenge how serious she is and discuss your actual feelings. I would recommend just doing it, but it sounds like that's not going to happen. Best of luck to you, regardless of what it is you choose do.

Topic Should I just give up any hope of her ever loving me???
Posted 10 Jul 2013 17:19

In short, yes.

You should give up hope of her loving you, but moreover, you should try and give up your love for her. If it were to happen, it would create such a mess in both your lives that you would probably never see or speak to each other the same way, or possibly ever again depending on how bad it went. Even if she were into you sexually, I suspect that there is virtually no chance of her wanting to spend her life with you, which is what it kind of sounds like you were/are after.

Addressing another note, if you are unhappily married, I encourage you to work on that problem. Talk to your wife about the things that make you unhappy. If that doesn't help, or you're unable to say what you mean maybe see a therapist. If nothing works and you've given what you have and you're certain it's over, then end it. Also, a marriage that ends is not necessarily a failed marriage. If you were both happy once, and have grown apart, then you should both find somebody else. This advice is of course nebulous, since I have no idea if your wife feels the same way, or if she thinks everything is fine.

Anyway, you should not pursue this woman. Try and work things out with your wife, or don't, but there's no point in being married if it makes you unhappy.

Topic Why Do Straight Guys Fall For Gay Girls?
Posted 10 Jul 2013 16:32

Well, it can be lots of things. It's a common enough phenomenon, honestly. I suppose I'll try and lay this out in as organized a manner as possible, given how scattershot my brain has been lately. As I see it there are three common causes to this syndrome: wanting what you can't have and/or having difficulty separating emotions and sex; the guy believes he can cure lesbianism or ;or a secret or concealed sexual orientation/identity other than purely heterosexual male/heteromasculine.

#1: The guy in question is unable, or finds it extremely difficult to distinguish between their platonic feelings for somebody and a possible sexual attraction. With that said, the reasoning is often that if his feelings for you are so confusing, maybe yours are for him too. I don't think this comes from an intent to take advantage of that confusion (which we are all aware does not exist in you). This version of the phenomenon is also often contributed to by a desire to have what isn't attainable. He may also be subconsciously using these feelings to provide a safety from rejection in the general hostility of the dating world.

#2: He really is a jerk. He believes he can fix you either with his words or his magical penis, or he does not believe that lesbians exist at all, and that it will simply turn out that you love cock once you feel his. Yes, this guy is an asshole, and we all want to punch him. I don't think, however, that it's fair to lump all guys who contact you through lush into this category because it is a sex-centric community we have here.

#3: This "straight" guy is in fact not straight at all. Maybe he's a little transgender, or all the way transsexual and not out, to himself even. Maybe he's bisexual or gay, and doesn't know how to confront that option, so he becomes attracted to visually who he thinks he's supposed to, but is still forbidden and a part of the LGBT community. Other possibilities include that he's pansexual or flexible in some way and it's hard to conceive that all people are not that way, through no fault of his own or with any ill intent.

As far as contacting you on Lush is concerned, I'd friend you, because I'm a friendly person, and you sound as though you might be an interesting individual to chat to. Also, your profile doesn't ask guys not to do so, and not being able to see your friends list I can't say for sure, but your socialite badge tends to make me think that you could very well have male friends on lush, and you state that you have them in the rest of your life "Have girlfriends and boyfriends, except I don't sleep with my boyfriends". Many of my best friends are lesbians and I don't try anything with them or pine for them. I have with others in the past for a variety of the more innocent reasons on this list, and I even dated one of them for a while (I am a trans girl, though I have a male body for the time being and foreseeable future).

I hope this will be helpful. I've given it some thought, but I know there's much more to say on the subject. I tried not to repeat too much without adding to it, and let the advice on sorting out the actual jerks and whathaveyou stand on it's own.

Topic I am naked because .....
Posted 08 Jul 2013 17:12

It's hot out, and I can be.

Topic When was the last time you had sex? [BE HONEST]
Posted 08 Jul 2013 13:07

Ten, twelve hours ago. Sort of surprisingly and out of nowhere.

Topic Most naive things heard about the female body
Posted 07 Jul 2013 12:10

"Women don't have orgasms. Only men can ejaculate, and that's a necessary criterion of an 'orgasm'."

That one was told to me by a high school health teacher. A female health teacher. Looking back, I feel really bad for her. She also told us that if you drink (alcohol) and smoke cannabis at the same time, it would create a lethal neurotoxic reaction. I don't know how much of it was arcane teaching standards (or fear tactics, if you prefer) that haven't been changed in decades, and how much of it was simply her being an uninformed moron, but regardless, it was sad. My high school's GSA held secondary health classes with the advisor, who was a lit teacher. Anyway, it's not the only naive thing I've heard, but it's certainly the most absurd.

Topic fuck me, suck me, pass?
Posted 07 Jul 2013 11:29

Pass, possibly. I might give you a little blowjob, but I can't see the requisite parts to make that decision.

Topic What do you like? And...
Posted 07 Jul 2013 11:24

Thanks... I guess.

Topic What do you like? And...
Posted 06 Jul 2013 22:25

...moreover, what do I like?

I know that I'm into some (reasonably) light BDSM, but I'm very curious about both the D/S scene as well as some bondage/tying and even some S and M. I more or less know my pain threshold, which is high, but there are some problems.

In the past, I was always happy to play when I met the right individual, but now I am in a long-term relationship with a woman whom I consider to be my perfect, and hopefully permanent mate. That said, I am extremely queer (another set of problems), poly, and very kinky. My girlfriend is less aware of who she is sexually and what she wants out of her sexuality. I've sort of plateaued at my current level of understanding since we have some small disconnects.

The first is that I really like pain, and she doesn't really know what to do with that. I've had some issues with partners shaming me regarding that in the past and this isn't that, but she's just unsure, I think.

We're also both subs. I can put on my dom mask pretty well these days (outside of talk, which neither of us are particularly good at), but I've had difficulty getting her to attempt the same.

My kinks are not just pain related, they range from things as innocuous as feet, to fireplay short of leaving serious burns (fire-fleshing, hot wax, candles), even knife and razor play.

I'm looking for advice specifically on the following: safety, recommended tools and materials, and just ideas. I want to know what the rest of Lush finds fun and erotic. Lack of experience with experienced BDSM/DS partners is I think much of the problem here. I think I'm looking to know more about sexual acts in this field, but also perhaps some of the DS aspects of a relationship. I sometimes think I might find it easier to put on my dom mask in the bedroom if our outside relationship included a more formal set of parameters surrounding my submissive behavior.

I realize that this is extremely specific, but I felt it was important that I share some of the background with anybody who may have some advice for me/us.

Topic Can a woman's sordid sexual history prevent her from being "the one"?
Posted 06 Jul 2013 21:53

No. Nothing can outright prevent a woman or man from being the one.

Somebody who has certain medical conditions would have a harder time getting me into bed in the first place, and I think we all (more or less) agree that's a necessary step on the road to determining somebody's status as "the one", or not.

With that said, my partner and I have radically different sexual histories. She had certainly had more long term sexual partners than I did prior to our getting together, and while I certainly went through a more or less asexual period for a few years, I was definitely more of a slut than she ever has been. So far it hasn't bothered either of us, and I doubt it will.

Topic what do you think about gangbang?
Posted 06 Jul 2013 21:47

Well, here's my hiccup: I enjoy group sex, but the term "gangbang" is so coarse that I'm not sure I would enjoy the images and experiences that word conjures it at this point in my life. I'm sure I would have been much more into it when I was first coming out, but now I think I would rather have an exciting three, four, five or sixsome. I find that more than six can get confusing when it comes to remembering who's into what, and who's really not. Honestly, with more than four, I really just find myself policing those borders to make sure nobody is freaked out. I bet it would be better as adults (by which I mean the 24+ set, in this case). In conclusion, I think some group sex would be fun, but the word gangbang belongs in porn, and bathrooms adjacent to proms.

Topic Who did u lose your virginity to?
Posted 06 Jul 2013 11:12

First boyfriend.

Ironically, he was younger than me, but stronger and more powerful, and that's what that situation took. At first that turned me on, but then, halfway through when I wanted to stop, I certainly didn't find his strength appealing. Could have been nice, if it had not been forced.

As far as I know, that guy now lives in Golden Gate Park as a homeless junkie. It almost makes me sad, but considering what he did to me and others, not really.

Topic Would "the naked man" work on you?
Posted 04 Jul 2013 21:57

Been wondering if this topic would ever show up here.

For it to work on me, it would have to be done well. Extremely well, and I'd have to like the person. I think it would also be more likely to work if I had seen the individual in question naked before.

Topic Why do men find it offensive when a woman is submissive?
Posted 04 Jul 2013 09:45

It's just not everybody's cup of tea.

Historically I've been more of a sub, but in my current relationship my partner wants often wants me to put on my dom face, and at first I found it nearly impossible. I didn't find it offensive, but some people react that way because of the way we teach equality in this country. We want to homogenize our culture and behavior, and call it acceptance. I didn't honestly check whether you're from the U.S. or not, but I hope the statement remains useful. Sometime you have to explain what it is you want, and why you want it, and ask for patience. If your partner is not willing to show you some patience and understanding then they are NOT somebody you want dominating you in the first place, otherwise, you can learn. I'd certainly drag you around by your hair if I could.

Topic Replying to the Moderator who approves your story?
Posted 04 Jul 2013 09:43

Huh. I just assumed it would be an unwelcome waste of their inbox space. Glad to hear I was wrong. I will probably start doing that. To everybody who has read and approved my stories, thanks a bunch.

Topic Guys - Do You Feel Entitled to Receive Oral Sex?
Posted 04 Jul 2013 09:32

Nobody is entitled to sex of any kind (with a partner, mind you), but I think it's perfectly reasonable that men or women expect that certain sexual acts be part of your sex life within the parameters of your relationship(s) as long as you're willing to reciprocated and accept criticism.

Topic frenulum stimulation
Posted 03 Jul 2013 17:33

Be careful not to break it. Happened to a friend of mine. He was in a lot of pain. It usually heals okay...ish. That's all I know.

Topic SEAL Team 6 member sex change
Posted 02 Jul 2013 14:45

First, this is really quite cool. Second, I'm annoyed by the use of the phrase "warrior princess", but can move on.

Now, to AshkeJ, I may be able to shed some light on your questions. I am a pre-op/non-op trans woman who has chosen to keep my body the way it is for now and the foreseeable future, both because of my body's generally masculine shape as well as my hesitation to undergo major surgery that can come with disabilities. In addition to my masculine frame however, I often behave in a traditionally masculine role or 'manly' way. I am currently in what looks like a heterosexual committed relationship with my partner of nearly two years. We live together and are very happy. We have yet to fully explore the ways in which I can feel like who I am, both with her and with the world, but knowing that I will be able to do that when and as I choose is an important first step.

My interests include hiking, climbing, running, jousting and martial arts. I have many useful skills in the fields of construction, woodworking, blacksmithing, and welding, but none of that invalidates my femininity, nor does it degrade the legitimacy of my womanhood. I usually present as male, though I do enjoy getting dressed up for special occasions. I also enjoy many girly things such as a good romance comedy, flowers, dress shopping, dancing, flirting with cute guys, and many other things; and none of that invalidates the masculinity I show the world to go with my body. I don't need to challenge my school, community or family by attempting to transition because right now I am okay with the body I have. That said, I may not always be, and one day my decide I have to transition, much as I believe the subject of this article may have. It's possible that she joined the military before she realized, or she could have joined in search of feeling like a woman in the military vicariously or through imagination. Since there's no reason a biologically born woman can't be herself by joining the military, why couldn't a trans-woman?

Topic How far can we count?
Posted 01 Jul 2013 19:13

12,755

Topic What Are You Wearing?
Posted 01 Jul 2013 19:11

Not a damn thing. It's hot.

Topic How often do you measure your cock?
Posted 30 Jun 2013 00:56

I think twice ever. Once because I was asked, and once because I was making a point about flaccid vs. erect penis size.

Topic Would you want me as pet/slave?
Posted 30 Jun 2013 00:56

Um... no.

It's not that I fail to comprehend it. I encourage you in your efforts, but even in the hypothetical world where I don't have a partner, I would still know nothing about you. I enjoy the D/S side of things, and from time to time even some reasonably hardcore BDSM, but you are neither visually apparent or specific in your interests. I would work on that, if I were you.

Topic do guys really care about boob size more than everything else?
Posted 30 Jun 2013 00:53

Of course not. That's asinine. I hope whomever left you with that impression feels appropriately ridiculous, for I hereby ridicule them.

Topic What would you like to do with the person above you?
Posted 29 Jun 2013 19:54

I'm sure we'd find something to do. Who can say just one thing?

Topic Bi/Fluid/Pan/Queer folks in a hetero relationship
Posted 28 Jun 2013 13:26

Okay. I've been struggling with a similar, if not identical problem for a while now, and I do have some advice for you, but first, some background.

I had a rough coming out. Moreover, a rough series as coming out. Without getting to into it, I waffled back and forth between straight and gay after I came out as bi (when I was fourteen) and had some... negative experiences. First with a man which sent my running back into the closet, then with my first real girlfriend, who sent me running straight back out, but that time as gay. Anyway, time passed and I settled into my identity as a bisexual man, until discovered that the world is a more complex and interesting place than that spectrum.

Now that reality has become a little more apparent through the experience of living, I am out as pan, poly, and trans. A year and a half ago, though, I met and fell in love with my perfect mate, and we've been happily living together for most of that time. With that said, when I moved in with her I moved from one small town (of about 62,000) with a reasonable amount of art, culture and queer activity for its size to another small town (of about 45,000) where there is essentially no art, culture or queer activity in the under 45 set. Add to that my seemingly heterosexual relationship and my complete lack of flames or female attire in public, I am seen by almost everybody as a straight white man. This is frustrating both because I hate the stereotyping of any group regardless of whether or not I'm included in it, and of course because only one of those things is true, but I feel unwelcome where I should not.

With all that in mind, there are a few steps I have taken toward coping with that strain. The first is to remember to talk about who you are and what you like with your partner. If you're in a committed long-term relationship him, then he I suspect he's able to talk about anything with you that's bothering you. If not, that's a point to revisit with him, obviously. Talk with others too; there's nothing wrong with reminding the world who you are, as long as you're not obnoxious about it. That actually leads into the next suggestion pretty well, which is to interact with as many people as you can. You never know who might be looking for the same things you are. If you're in school, go up and talk to people. Find you're school's GSA or anything else like it and meet people.

If you're not in school, or if there just isn't an LGBTTQQOPPIAF group that meets your needs in the area, then start one. Post it to reddit, craigslist, whatever. You'll get responses no matter where you are, unless it's incredibly tiny. It's not at all difficult to run a group like that, just have something in mind for what you want to talk about when you gather some people in a park, conference room, coffee shop, etc. They'll usually take it from there. For more specific suggestions, you could consider starting an LGBTTQQOPPIAF themed book club, or even start a discussion group for people with the same problem you've got. I'd join it if you're anywhere near the Portland area. I think you'd be surprised how much fun the inadvertently oppressed queer community can be.

I also recommend that you go to whatever damn clubs and bars that you feel like and show yourself. You said you're in a new city, so I suspect some of the standoffishness you're feeling might simply be because you're a new face. Maybe not, and in that case, those people are being dicks and you can try the next bar. I realize that this, like much of my advice does hinge on your being in a proper sized city, but you said "my current city". I hope some of it has been helpful.

Topic Do you shave your cock clean? When did you start?
Posted 28 Jun 2013 13:01

I did for about a year. I was doing a lot of swimming. Had to cross a river to get home sometimes. Not anymore. Too itchy.

Topic Do you have a Fetish?
Posted 28 Jun 2013 12:49

I have several, but they aren't body part related. I can't tell what you're asking. Mine are behavioral, locational, etc.

Topic How far can we count?
Posted 28 Jun 2013 11:23

Eh. May as well do my part.

12,711

Topic Watching guys jerk it...?
Posted 27 Jun 2013 17:16

I love to watch guys jerk their cocks. Until they cum, or just for a while before we fuck.

Topic Say something nice about the profile of the person above you
Posted 27 Jun 2013 17:14

MdeSade64 is incredibly persistent with this thread. I think this is the fourth time I've posted on this thread and the third time I've commented on him. Apparently, he has a lot of nice things to say. I like that too, it seems to go with his username, in an ironic, vaguely macabre sort of way.