Get tae fuck

Away an fuck yersel, ya cunty bawed basturt

Get it right up ye



Oh Maz Za, there is something about a women swearing with a Scottish accent that turns me on.

I had a Ukrainian girlfriend that told me in the USSR the insult used was "Go fuck your mother!" I can't remember the actual words in Russian.

ha! seriously? here's how it works - Doll gets half, i get half, you get the pleasure of paying to see us. questions?

I have no problem with that as long as you are talking that you get half of the net profits and Doll gets the other half if the net profits.

(I am grinning evilly because nobody should ever make a deal on the net profit. I can make a killing on the gross and leave nothing for net. (To be perfectly honest I would never do anything so dishonest to anybody, especially a friend. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. ))

Pfft... youth ~

You are all obviously rookies.

Anyone over the age of 39 knows that for the best hygiene, one is supposed to defecate during the morning shower...and stomp any particulate matter that won't dissolve in the scalding, high pressure shower spray - down the drain with your heel.

Never with the ball of your foot. The heel!

I am almost embarrassed that I must keep educating such a sizable chunk of the Lush population about matters such as this.

Anyone who wishes to thank me for this and all future insights may donate a year long Gold subscription to a friend of your choosing.

What I really want to know is what you ladies do about those annoyingly persistent Tiny.Cotton.Balls...

WMM, you are such a hillbilly, ROFL.

As a scientist I would usually propose a double blind experiment to find out whether folding or scrunching works better but I am not touching this with a 10 foot pole.

Wow, I just did the math and there are a lot of Leo's out there. Approximately 1/12 of the population are Leo's.

By the way, did you know 40% of all sick days taken are on Mondays and Fridays? Aren't people amazingly lazy?

Hey Sprite, if you and Dancing Doll are going to have a pillow that degenerates into the two of you wrestling, can I sell tickets and popcorn? I promise to give the two of you 10% each of the net profits.

I have thought about posting my actual picture but then I looked at some of the stories that I wrote and putting my picture on them didn't seem like such a great idea.

I use a cartoon avatar that I thinks represents my personality more than my actual looks. I do have to mention that I am a red head that likes to fence.

This thread reminds me of the movie "Surrogates" with Bruce Willis.

I bet you southern boys are put off by the "in-law" part eh? *nudges you with elbow* ;)

Felix, you are truly one sick and twisted individual. Why do you always post what I am thinking?

Holy Crap! CrazyD, that is worse than the spider picture.

I look at it as a husband asking his wife to please stop asking him stupid questions.

http://upload.lushstories.com/1838686841-image.jpg

I am such a nerd.

I think the only chance the father has of really fighting this case is if he can show that the District Attorney regularly did not prosecute simular situations of an 18 year old having sex with a 14 year old where both of the people are of different sexes. Otherwise I think it best to accept the plea deal. After all, she did break the law.

This started when I was in my third year of college. I was working in a fast food restaurant while I was going to school to get my under graduate degree in Physics. I didn't really need the money because my parents were rather well to do. I was able to go to school for free because my mother was an associate professor at the university I attended but, unfortunately for me, my parents have...

Added 12 May 2013 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 8 | Avg Score 4.88 | Views 1,761 | 1 Comment

The next morning I woke before Nell. I then used a bit of wizardry to move the farmer's outhouse to the new pit. No use in contaminating the well after I had purified it last night but then I recast the purification spell because I had a sneaking suspicion that the farmer or one of his family members may have used it last night. When I got back to the barn Nell was awake, getting dressed...

Added 27 Jan 2013 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 3 | Avg Score 4.67 | Views 401 | 1 Comment

I was sitting in my favorite tavern in the small town of Salla Sallew (where ther are no troubles, at least very few) minding my own business enjoying a good pint of cold beer (I used wizardry to chill the beer, I can't stand it warm) when in walked three ogres. Now we get all sorts of beings in town so three ogres wasn't all that unusual. We have humans, elves, orcs, dwarves,...

Added 21 Jan 2013 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 2 | Avg Score 5 | Views 495 | 2 Comments

I was working on a paving project on a state road as the quality assurance tester. That means I do the testing that the state uses to determine the paving contractor's incentive/disincentive. Today paving had started very early and I had to get a sample consisting of 7-75 lbs sample cans instead of the usual 2 cans because there were going to be additional tests run on the asphalt at the...

Added 09 Oct 2012 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 5 | Avg Score 4.8 | Views 2,169 | 2 Comments

It was very strange how this all started. After several weeks of sex mom admitted to me that she had had several sex dreams about me before this happened. She told me the dreams were great but when she woke she would feel very guilty until one night she woke during the middle of a sex dream about me and couldn't get back to sleep until she maturbated and because she was half asleep the...

Added 23 Sep 2012 | Category Incest | Votes 24 | Avg Score 4.82 | Views 12,879 | 3 Comments

It was a cold Friday evening in January when Sylvia was walking to her boyfriend Bob's condo. She was thinking about the night they finally hooked-up. Sylvia was a third year English Lit major. She met Bob the first day of the previous fall semester when she arrived for her science class that she needed for her basic education required credit. Bob was teaching the Physics 101 course that she...

Added 06 Aug 2012 | Category Supernatural | Votes 7 | Avg Score 4.86 | Views 1,457 | 2 Comments

This all started just after I graduated from high school. That summer my parents decided to get divorced. It came as no big surprise to me, I knew that my mom and dad weren't happy with each other for some time. They never had any big fights or anything like that, they just drifted apart. They had gotten married when dad was 24 and mom was 22 and I think they just outgrew each other. I was...

Added 20 Jul 2012 | Category Incest | Votes 65 | Avg Score 4.71 | Views 37,728 | 10 Comments

It is almost midnight on a Saturday night and I am waiting for your call. This all started six weeks ago when you caught your idiot of a boyfriend cheating on you. I happened to be in the neighborhood bar where you wanted to cry and get drunk. You sat next to me at the bar and got yourself a cranberry juice and vodka. I just happened to be there because I needed some human company for...

Added 15 Jul 2012 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 3 | Avg Score 5 | Views 1,260 | 4 Comments

Lavina took care of all of the arrangements for our parents. The only way that Beth and I could get to sleep at night was to just have sex until we were exhausted. When ever I tried to sleep I would feel a deep dark depression just waiting to swallow me when I was just laying there with nothing occupying my thoughts. I think Beth had the same problem. Sometimes we slept in my room, sometimes...

Added 03 Jul 2012 | Category Incest | Votes 25 | Avg Score 4.78 | Views 3,928 | 7 Comments

The rest of the month went by very quickly for Beth and me. We spent most of our time in the nude with each other. We did oral sex in every room in the house; our bedrooms, our parents bedroom, all of the bathrooms, the living room, the dining room, the family room and even on the stairway. There were days when Lavina would invite us to her house and we would skinny dip in the pool. On a...

Added 26 Jun 2012 | Category Incest | Votes 21 | Avg Score 4.84 | Views 5,588 | 3 Comments