Life is too Short to hate someone... Indeed the person with patience will achieve SUCCESS. Life has never been simple or easy but always believed in smiling and keep the world around me quite happy... Wished i could find a solution for the world for the memories that they carry... I am quite emotional so can be overly caring about someone... To know more about me, you can add me or ask me... Sometimes i might also need someone who would want to listen to me like i would listen to them... Hopefully the journey continues....
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When the father discovered that his teen-age daughter had made love with her boyfriend at a wild party, he insisted on having the young man arrested for statutory rape, and the case was promptly brought to trial.The first witness was another teenager who had attanded the festivities."If you actually witnessed the act," the prosecutor demanded, "why didn't you try to stop the defendant?""Well," the testifier admitted," at the time, it was impossible to tell which of the two would be the defendant."
After many years of bachelorhood, this older gent finds and marries a beautiful young lady.On their honeymoon night she slips into a sheer negligee and a comfortable bed as he goes into the bathroom to prepare himself for glory.Five minutes go by... Ten minutes go by... Concerned, the bride goes into the bathroom, where she finds her aged husband furiously masturbating.She smiles and says, "You're married now. You don't have to do that anymore."Her husband looks at her a bit bewildered and says, "Oh, I forgot."
This lady goes to the gynecologist but won't reveal to the receptionist what's wrong with her, just that she must see a doctor right away. After hours of waiting, her name is called, and she's taken to the examination room.The doctor asks, "Okay, my good woman, what is your problem ?""Well," she says, "my husband is a very compulsive gambler and every nickel he can get his hands on he gambles. I have scrimped and saved every dollar I could to save up $500. I didn't know a safe hiding place, so I stuffed it up my vagina. But now, I can't get it out!"The doctor says, "Don't be nervous. I see things like this all the time."He asks her to remove her clothes and sit on the edge of the examination table with her legs apart. As he's putting on his rubber gloves, he glances up at her and asks..."I only have one question. What am I looking for? Bills or loose change?"
A wealthy socialite had a night out on the town with her friends. She awoke the next morning, totally naked and with a monster of a hang-over. So she rang for the butler and asked for a cup of strong black coffee."Geeves" she said, "I can't remember a thing about last night. How did I get to bed?""Well Madam, I carried you upstairs and put you to bed.""But my dress?""It seemed a pity to crumple it, so I took it off and hung it up.""But what about my underwear?""I thought the elastic might stop the circulation, so I took the liberty of removing them.""What a night!" she said. "I must have been tight!""Only the first time, Madam."
Nope since she is into girls... so respect it :-)
Rocky has broken his leg and his buddy Bob comes over to see him.Bob: How are youy doing?Rocky: Fine. Hey, do me a favor. Go upstairs & get me my slippers. My feet are freezing!Bob goes upstairs and sees Rocky's hot twin sisters lying on the bed.Bob: Your brother sent me up to have sex with you girls.Twins: Oh Really??? Prove it!Bob (Shouting): Hey Rocky, both of them?Rocky (Shouting back): Of course! What's the point of fucking one?
Shortly before her fourth marriage, a middle aged woman went to see her doctor to ask for advice on sex, more particularly on how to do it. The doctor was amazed. He said, "You've been married three times before, surely you know what you have to do by now?" "No, that's the point," said the woman, "I don't. My first husband was a gynaecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it; my second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it; my third husband worked for the Post Office and he couldn't find it. Now I'm getting married to a lawyer so I'm bound to get screwed sometime!"
A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night. Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer.He raced home and told his wife, "Your question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.'The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgetting the answer.Her husband keeps reminding her, "The head, heart and penis."Come the game show she has forgotten again, and the presenter asks, "For $100,000, what are the three main parts of the male anatomy? You have ten seconds.""Um... the head.""Good. Eight seconds.""Um... the heart.""That's right. Five seconds.""Oh... um... damn. My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning...""That's close enough! You've won $100,000!"
Danny discovers his wife is cheating with another guy, so he goes to the guy's wife and tells her about it."I know what we will do," she says. "Let's take revenge on them."So they go to a motel and take revenge.After 10 mins, she says, "Let's take more revenge," and they take revenge again.So like this, they kept taking more & more revenge...After 5 times, Danny was lying spent, and she said, "Lets take revenge again." Danny said,"I cant... I have no more hard feelings left !!!!"
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