Fetish(1)

9

The Sex God

Dave's sleazy tactic works, torturing ensues.

A couple years back, my struggling buddy Napolean began getting all into pick-up literature. His methods with women weren’t rendering any results, so he hit , and he hit it hard. Every new conversation we had brought news of a new book he’d just read and how he was already applying his new methods “in the field.” I’d read a couple books on the topic, but since I was doing fine for myself...Read On

First Time(1)

17

The Virgin

Dave takes Virgin to fraternity dance, night takes strange turn.

There are three types of girls I don't trust: girls who are horny yet don't have sex, girls who believe in pinky swears, and girls who say Snoop Dogg's "Ain't No Fun" is "their song." If a guy suggested that a single line in that song were true about them or ought to happen that night, that guy would be "such a dick." Sadly, in college these were the only girls I was able to attract,...Read On

MILF(1)

8

Scandinavian Rampage

Dave chases an endless supply of blonde women, things get disastrous.

The time had come. Punchline and I had waited a year since our summer trips of ’09 to get back on an airplane, ditch the uncharacteristically cloudy California summer, and fly to the land of green landscape, midnight sun, no religion, expensive beers, and beautiful women: Scandinavia. Denmark We arrived in Copenhagen on a Wednesday afternoon, tired and grimy from fourteen hours of...Read On

Oral Sex(1)

9

Disaster in Vegas

Dave receives an offer he can't refuse, gets careless.

I was still quite innocent in the art of walking the Vegas strip after 2 a.m., which was littered with screaming fat chicks, homeless men, stumbling couples, and hookers. As I walked across a bridge beneath one of those blaring fifty-foot TVs, two black chicks approached me. “Hey sexy! Where do you think you’re going?” I’d never been too much into black girls, but a handful of TV stars have...Read On

Straight Sex(1)

4

Courtney the Crazed Athlete

Dave considers a relationship, everything implodes

After a refreshing day at the golf course in which Vince sunk an eighty-yard chip for birdie, we decided to celebrate the shot of his life with a trip to I-Lounge. I had always been a fan of I-Lounge. It wasn’t a huge club, but it had a certain dynamic that made it perfect for my style. I loathe bars that are simply one giant room. The animal in me thinks it essential to hit on girls without...Read On