Forum posts made by dirtymartini

Topic Here's one for the Lush Record Books...I just thought it worth noting...
Posted 23 May 2013 21:44



How do you reply back to them? Google translate? Or do you just stay silent and mysterious? :p

I stay pretty silent and mysterious for the most part, though a few over there speak English, and some sort of do...I'm the silent, mysterious Senor Exakta66...

Yeah, I'm still Exakta66 over there...I never changed the name over there, so my page still looks like my page did here on Lush back when I joined four years ago or whatever...

Historias Lush - Exakta66
http://www.historiaslush.com/exakta66

Yeah, I been over there practically since the site started...the Spanish translation of my story "Sexual Healing" was the first love story on the site, just to give you an idea of how long I've been there...

And btw...I'm following you and Senorita Spriteness now if you noticed...though where that could lead, I have not a clue...dontknow

Topic Writing Tips: 31 Most Invaluable Pieces Of Writing Advice From Famous Authors...
Posted 23 May 2013 20:47

Here's some helpful advice from the experts for my writer friends here I thought worth sharing, though I'm sure most of my Lush friends are experts already...

No. 12 just made me laugh out loud btw...happy8

Writing Tips: 31 Most Invaluable Pieces Of Writing Advice From Famous Authors
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/22/writing-tips-_n_3319260.html?ir=Books&utm_campaign=052213&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Alert-books&utm_content=Title

Topic Haiku...Lushly speaking
Posted 22 May 2013 23:43

You did a fine job straightening that mess out Senorita Spriteness...but, on a much more serious issue...

New contest on Lush,
But no root vegetable,
Say it ain't so Nic.

Topic Announcing our $100 Attention Whore Competition! (1-30 June 2013)
Posted 22 May 2013 22:30

Is there a root vegetable for second prize? I nominate a beetroot



Yeah, I was just wondering if there was going to be any sort of third prize myself...

http://sandyspringcsa.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/potatoes.jpg

Topic Announcing our $100 Attention Whore Competition! (1-30 June 2013)
Posted 22 May 2013 22:30

Is there a root vegetable for second prize? I nominate a beetroot



Yeah, I was just wondering if there was going to be any sort of third prize myself...

http://sandyspringcsa.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/potatoes.jpg

Topic Announcing our $100 Attention Whore Competition! (1-30 June 2013)
Posted 22 May 2013 21:38


The smart money is on summerjones! sunny



You might as well just give her the money and badge now...

Topic Fake Profiles??
Posted 22 May 2013 10:06



this it the internet. everyone here is an adult and can usually figure things out for themselves.


Say what? And what do you mean you're not really an animated cartoon character? You just ruined my day...

Topic The Humble Turnip
Posted 22 May 2013 02:16



Why not suggest a carrot, since with all the masturbation going on around Lush, people could probably use a vegetable to stop them going blind (pun intended)? Just a thought.




Are you suggesting that people on Lush should masturbate with a carrot? Or simply in front of the carrot? I'm not really clear on this whole carrot thing...

Topic Toilet Etiquette
Posted 22 May 2013 01:03

I usually wrap it up, put a bow on it, and give it out as Christmas gifts...Regaeman Man

I'm sorry...why do you ask?

Topic Here's one for the Lush Record Books...I just thought it worth noting...
Posted 22 May 2013 00:22



Latinfoxy - she's a doll. crazy as it is down there, she still makes time to translate stories. :)

There's a rumor she might be translating one of yours next...I think she's stuck on how to explain that whole ginger thing to a Spanish audience...dontknow

Topic Here's one for the Lush Record Books...I just thought it worth noting...
Posted 21 May 2013 21:26

Or in other words... El talento es gruesa por aquí!


I think you just called somebody a turnip, but I'm not really sure...

Yeah, you'll have fun over there...as you've already noticed, people will send you messages in Spanish...next will be the friend request from Spanish speaking members over on Facebook...after that you'll find yourself being the only non-Spanish speaking member of various Facebook groups...

Trust me on this one...been there, done that...Regaeman Man

Topic The Humble Turnip
Posted 21 May 2013 21:20



Speaking of roots... I believe sprite had an interesting take on a little root from the grocery store.


Oh yeah...I vote Rachel gets a special Ginger badge...I know I will never look at ginger the same way again...

Topic The Humble Turnip
Posted 21 May 2013 19:15

CurlyGurly won a potato? Really? I hadn't even noticed...Regaeman Man

Topic Here's one for the Lush Record Books...I just thought it worth noting...
Posted 21 May 2013 18:48

A big well-deserved congratulations to Senorita Ashleigh Lake, aka Dancing Doll, on not only her first story posted in Spanish La Conexión En Cabo , but an Editor Pick as well...somewhat of a rarity over on Historias from what I can see...and btw, I believe this makes her the first person on the planet to get an EP on all three sites...truly one for the Lush Record Books my friends, Nicola Campbell take note...

Historias Lush - Sexo Anal Historias - La Conexión En Cabo
http://www.historiaslush.com/stories/sexo-anal/la-conexi%C3%B3n-en-cabo.aspx

I just thought it was worth noting...happy8

Topic Indie Writers Support...Free Social Media Site For Writers...
Posted 20 May 2013 01:23

Somebody invited me over to this site tonight, and I joined, as if the other 2.3 million writing, networking, and social media sites I'm on are not enough to keep me busy...but anyway, I'm told this site is pretty good...and despite the name, it's not just for indie authors...here's what is says on the site anyway...

Welcome to indiewritersupport.com. Our mission is to expose talented writers, either self-published or not, to a mass of book readers.

Whether or not that actually happens remains to be seen...but, it does look like its got a lot going for it...check it out my published writing friends...happy8

Indie Writers Support
http://www.indiewritersupport.com/

Topic searchin for a story
Posted 16 May 2013 22:38


ive tried serching for it but iwe noticed that the cersh function is pretty inacurate.




That's funny...I had to look up the word "cersh"...apparently this is what you're looking for...

Centre for Excellence in Rural Sexual Health - CERSH
http://www.cersh.com.au/

Topic New recommendation symbol
Posted 14 May 2013 14:01


and just in case they are really terrible:


http://upload.lushstories.com/139126484-crap.png

bunny KIDDING!!

Oh Yeah Baby!...We could really use something like this over on the blue site...

Any chance of you making up something similar with a blue background?

Only kidding...yeah, right...let me know later, will ya? Thanks...Regaeman Man

Topic New recommendation symbol
Posted 14 May 2013 12:44


Maybe it is done because of the resemblance of the editor's pick but I really think the black medal suits the style of the site better and is more appealing!



I like the black medal far better myself...much classier...not a fan of the new check mark at all...

Yeah, bringing back the black medal would be great...unless, of course, Lush started using something like a martini glass...now that would certainly work...

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS_65cq6TVYE6J6rTgsZ7wTUR95nJVHR_QOQbpDedGtj5r1law4

Topic The first review of my book from an actual book review site is now live...
Posted 13 May 2013 02:36

Ooh! That's a great review Alan!!



Yeah, I probably couldn't have done much better if I wrote it myself...

Btw, I can tell from the poems and stories mentioned that he read at least the first half of the book...I guess I should take it as a good sign he made it that far...just sayin'

Topic publishing my poem
Posted 12 May 2013 22:29



thank you for point that out :) i've fixed it so it reads as intended now - not sure what happened - a bug of sorts, perhaps.

Yeah, those bugs will get you every time...so, watch out...

Btw, on the topic of posting poems...Lush will always give you formatting issues if you copy and paste directly from Word...I'm sure one of the helpful mods here will post the links directing you to forum posts on the topic...ahem...

Topic The first review of my book from an actual book review site is now live...
Posted 12 May 2013 21:54

Alright...a review of my book on an actual book review site...and this is a first for me btw...the book came out September, 2012, and I'm finding out it takes months, if you're lucky, to get a book reviewed...and books of short stories and/or poems are not always easy to get reviewed in the first place...

eFiction Reviews - I Often Wonder

And btw...eFiction Reviews is not connected with eFiction Magazine, and I won't get into all that, but Doug Lance of eFiction Magazine is not happy with their use of the name...

Anyway, eFiction Reviews is a relatively new book review site started by playwright Warren Thurston...as some here might know, it often takes quite a while to get a book reviewed, especially if you're not with a major publisher...so, when I saw mention of this site, I immediately sent him an e-copy of the book...

And yeah, this is a first for me, as I mentioned...and I happen to be very happy with the results here...check it out my Lushketeer friends...happy8

Topic AUTHORSdB is an author database site for consolidating all your book listings, social media, etc...
Posted 10 May 2013 20:52

AUTHORSdB is an author database site for consolidating all your book listings, social media, etc...

Here at AUTHORSdB we've formed the only database of authors, including social media, book listings and much more, for today's mind-field of thousands of aspiring and established writers. We are a dedicated website that helps authors for free.

It is a free author database where you can post links to your book, website, Facebook page, Lush Page, Twitter, G+ page, and just about anything else you can think of...it's worth taking a look my friends...and it is free, so you can't really beat the price...

Check out my listing btw...I know you want to...

AUTHORSdB > Author Directory > Alan W. Jankowski
http://authorsdb.com/authors-directory/1824-alan-w-jankowski

Anyway, once you move up into the Top 25 they sort of promote you a bit more...sort of like the Featured Member thingy here on this fine site known as Lush Stories...

Currently I'm at No. 26 btw out of 1400+ members...so, everyone go click on my page to move me up a notch...thanks...happy8

Topic Twitter for Authors: Part one - build your tribe...
Posted 10 May 2013 00:30

HootSuite is a social media management system for brand management created by Ryan Holmes in 2008. The system’s user interface takes the form of a dashboard, and supports social network integrations for Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+, Foursquare, MySpace, WordPress and Mixi.

HootSuite - Social Media Management
http://hootsuite.com/

Anyway...I think if you actually know how to use this, you can type something and it goes out to every social media site on the planet at once...

I did manage to join and log on...I have to say it displays Facebook news feeds better than the FB Timeline thingy...but haven't really figured out how to post anything...I'm told it's a useful thing though...

Topic how do i get my wife to do anal if she is really tight
Posted 09 May 2013 22:10

Here we go...

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/247104_10200450442737394_1173431409_n.jpg

Topic Recommended Stories
Posted 09 May 2013 22:03




Can't we just have "The Greatest Story of All Time Award" and put an end to all the arguments.




Of course we could do that...in fact, that's a great idea...

Which one of my stories would you suggest?

Topic Can "gun people" and "anti-gun people" ever come to the table together and talk
Posted 09 May 2013 19:13


so, is the point of this that bombs should be legal as long as they're not used to blow people up? go ahead, you can have all the bombs you want, just make sure you use them at the bomb range or for hunting, not for blowing limbs off of people at marathons, etc.

Is there a bomb range in your neighborhood? I think that would be pretty darn cool...I think they should serve alcohol as well, just for the fun of it...

Speaking of...I know how we can get both sides to come to the table...serve plenty of barbeque and free drinks...I know I'd show up anyway...and I don't even care which side of the table I sit on...

Topic i see a ghost like figure
Posted 09 May 2013 02:54


We shall be retiring him once he has outlived his use.



Oh good...thanks...just noticed your response here...he's a bit annoying, but do what you got to do...

Topic i see a ghost like figure
Posted 09 May 2013 02:49

Hey not sure what this is as i open up i see a ghost like figure right below the L on lush what is this.

Is this what you're talking about? That rectangle shaped thingy? I have this problem over on the blue site, but not here...I sent a message to Gav...it's making it hard to return to the home page...

I don't know why I have it over there, but not here...I have my settings the same, I think anyway...

http://upload.storiesspace.com/642332457-SS%20Screen%20Shot%2005-09-13.jpg

Topic Club Zafia....
Posted 08 May 2013 22:15



Jimi Hendrix - Wild Thing - Monterey 1967

http://www.youtube.com/embed/5iTXdZscdm4

Topic Announcing our "Sexy Cam Fun" Story Competition
Posted 07 May 2013 13:10



Alan, you need to really do a better job about hiding your 'tater envy! evil4

Ha Ha, very funny...I have no idea what this "tater envy" you speak of is...

Btw, I been meaning to ask you...were you able to hook up your potato to your computer alright? Supposedly, if you're using Windows 7 or later, the potato drivers should automatically install...but, I'm sure Gav sent you complete instructions...

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/5770032_700b.jpg