Forum posts made by dirtymartini

Savanna, you get that whip out and tell 'em what YOU want.

Oh Yes Rocco you know I will some rope too. we all set

Oooh Savanna...I didn't know you were into that sort of thing...I'll have to tell xbob to re-write the story...

Nice paint job on the girls.

Yes, I can see a career as a painter in my future...

Never stopped in here before...so, I guess I have to post something...
Why don't you all read my new story that should be up tonight...my first incest story, written especially for Lush Stories...it is also my first multi-part story...Chapt. 1 should post soon...
How's that???
Later,
Alan.

BTW, Rumple...I want to thank you for suggesting my new signature line...I think it is very fitting and looks quite nice...

Here's another girl I found hanging out outside the bar...

http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/478-iwmaudfegfasqscyesbkyifiqgggwwqg.jpg

NO $hit

I kind of like this one:

"In Guam it’s forbidden for female virgins to marry. For this reason, some men travel the countryside deflowering virgins as a full-time job."

A career change might do me good...

Something tells me that's not a growing occupation.Too many DIY-types around these days.

Rumple Foreskin


That's probably why my high school guidance counselor never mentioned it...

I kind of like this one:

"In Guam it’s forbidden for female virgins to marry. For this reason, some men travel the countryside deflowering virgins as a full-time job."

A career change might do me good...

Congratulations, Alan. You are a pornographer's, pornographer.

Hey, how much do you think it would cost to get that put on a T-shirt??? In one of my stories, I use the phrase "Internet porn...it's not going to write itself"...words to live by...
Heck, if I know. But now that you mention it, that might make a good quote for your sig line.

Rumple Foreskin

You know Rumple, I had a feeling that someday you would be useful...I couldn't for the life of me figure out how until now...
Now, if I can just figure out how to do that...can't be hard...

I have to say that I have my stories posted on eleven sites, and yes, I have a couple cheating wife stories...and I have got a few negative messages and comments, but it always seems to be when the story first posts, and only on the "biggest" sites...the "hate mail" isn't always limited to that category and I tend to think there are people who go around leaving negative comments and sending hate mail when stories first get posted because they really have nothing else to do except read the latest story posts and leave negative comments...and somehow they get something out of it...
I also have to say that the "cheating wife/wife lovers" category gets a lot of views...I get more views, and positive feedback, in that category than any other...
So, I just take the good with the bad...or bad with the good...you know what I mean...
Later,
Alan.

Just eight categories for me so far:

Anal
BDSM
First Time
Love Poems
Masturbation
Oral Sex
Straight Sex
Taboo



Only eight...you slacker...get working girl...

Dont work her so hard Exakta66 she needs to rest inbetween. Oh and I have only one, Love story.

You are just a love story personified girl...don't ever forget it...

Congratulations, Alan. You are a pornographer's, pornographer.

Hey, how much do you think it would cost to get that put on a T-shirt??? In one of my stories, I use the phrase "Internet porn...it's not going to write itself"...words to live by...

Just eight categories for me so far:

Anal
BDSM
First Time
Love Poems
Masturbation
Oral Sex
Straight Sex
Taboo



Only eight...you slacker...get working girl...

I am up to fifteen (15)...count 'em...only took me 52 tries...
19 Oct 2009 BDSM 52 4.7 86658
Exhibitionism
First Time
Group Sex
Incest
Interracial
Love Poems
Love Stories
Mature
Oral Sex
Reluctance
Straight Sex
Toys
Voyeur
Wife Lovers

Hey Rumple...I read your little speech at the beginning of this thread and it said something about it being a place to pimp a story...
Well, me being a pimp from way back, just thought I'd mention that I have a new story that will be ready for submission tonight...actually it's almost done...just taking my last coffee break...
This will be the fifteenth category that I have infected with my misuse of the English language. My latest venture is into the incest category...a rarity here at Lush, I know...
The question is, "Is it really incest if you don't know she's your sister?"
Find out all that and more, by reading "A Family Reunion Chapt 1 (Growing up with Marcy)" making it's debut here on this fine upstanding site known as Lush Stories...
Tag line includes, but is not limited to: sister, step-sister, threesome, mff, ffm, sex, whatever
Be the first on your block to read this future classic piece of erotic literature...
Oh, and thanks for the advert space...just put it on my tab...
Later,
Alan.

Hey Rumple...I have to say I'm surprised that this place is still in business after, what is it, a week now? I'm sure this place would be condemned by some agency designed to protect the public from themselves, but rumor has it no inspector would be caught dead here...or maybe it is a tribute to your skill in the fine art of bribery...either way, congratulations are in order...
That said, I have a story for you:

A hippopotamus walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "That will be $7.50 please" says the bartender. So the hippo gives the bartender his money and starts to sip his beer. "You know we don't very many hippos in here" mutters the bartender.

The hippo replies, "At these prices it's no wonder!"

Oh well...they can't all be winners...
On another note...if you want to read a good story, read xbob's latest, "The Beckwith Affair"...it's all about the search for some shady character named Alan Jankowski...judging by the story, he sounds like real trouble if you ask me...
I would promote my latest story...but it's not out yet...that should change soon...
Later,
Alan.

Happy Birthday Pixie...

That's great...if you need extra cash, you can use it to hold up the local convenience store...

Damn...I would ask where you found that picture, but I really don't want to know...never mind...

I don't think I posted this before...I write too many poems, can't keep track...

I Thank You

I thank you for letting me love you,

I thank you for letting me know your arms,
Your gentle touch, your delicate charms,

Your special smile you give to me,
For all the love you give for free,

For being there to understand,
For letting me hold your hand,

For making me feel I’m the one,
You want to be with when the day is done,

For showing me how much you care,
For when I need you, just being there,

I thank you for letting me love you.
I thank you.

01-03-10..

http://www.lushstories.com/forum/upload/images/300-ugqaomkyuysdukmgsufsdwiddqfawyaf.jpg

Angel is having her morning coffee right now...but she says "Hello"...

mmmm.. I now pronounce us man and wife......

Oh it is over now? I have to tell Exakta66 not to bother with the fireworks then. Okay where to now Honeymoon

hahaha... I believe in an open marriage.. if Exakta wants to keep his wick burning then he will need to up his game and pick his side of the bed...


Oh open marriage you say I dont believe we had a talk about that, but it sounds good let me ask him,

I believe in open marriage...I believe Savanna should keep her legs open...that's what you mean, right???

I can be a table top if she wants...in fact, I can be anything she wants...

... ...Now that's out of the way!:

1. I used to be a Girl Scout....now stop laughing, please!
2. When I was a small child, I bit into a Butterfinger and my tooth came out. It somehow got washed down the drain when I tried to wash the chocolate off of it. Let me tell you, I was pissed that I didn't get that dollar!
3. My parents used to call me "Munchkin Monkey" because I was a small five year old who loved to climb on anything. (Trees, playground structures, people's shoulders...)

I just had to read this again..."Munchkin Monkey"???...
I'm surprised you didn't use that as your Lush screen name...

When I was a baby I fell off the kitchen table...my parent left me on the table and I crawled off the edge...
OK...hey, what's your excuse pal???

Just add it to my tab barkeep...if she ever stops by...probably wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this...
I'll send her over...

Hey, watch your language. We attract a very high-classs zombie crowd, you know.

As for your tab:

http://www.brillig.com/debt_clock/debtiv.gif

Rumple Foreskin



You know that figure don't look right...you haven't been letting Shameless charge drinks to my tab, have you???

Hey WellMade...any of those girls asking about me, by any chance??? Just checking...
Nice pics...

Just add it to my tab barkeep...if she ever stops by...probably wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this...
I'll send her over...

While I'm here, since we can talk about just about anything here...right??? I just want to welcome Kayte7 to Lush Stories...she is a nice girl, so don't abuse her too much guys...that's my job...
I would start a new thread somewhere, but then I'd risk it being thread-jacked by one of you clowns after the third post...
So, I'm just trying to welcome a nice respectable girl to Lush, in a nice, respectable way...damn, I posted it here...let me go back out and come in again and re-think this...

Kayte7

That looks like a comfortable table top...I've just found my favorite spot at the bar...