Forum posts made by dirtymartini

Hey not sure what this is as i open up i see a ghost like figure right below the L on lush what is this.

Is this what you're talking about? That rectangle shaped thingy? I have this problem over on the blue site, but not here...I sent a message to Gav...it's making it hard to return to the home page...

I don't know why I have it over there, but not here...I have my settings the same, I think anyway...

http://upload.storiesspace.com/642332457-SS%20Screen%20Shot%2005-09-13.jpg

Jimi Hendrix - Wild Thing - Monterey 1967

http://www.youtube.com/embed/5iTXdZscdm4

Alan, you need to really do a better job about hiding your 'tater envy!

Ha Ha, very funny...I have no idea what this "tater envy" you speak of is...

Btw, I been meaning to ask you...were you able to hook up your potato to your computer alright? Supposedly, if you're using Windows 7 or later, the potato drivers should automatically install...but, I'm sure Gav sent you complete instructions...

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/5770032_700b.jpg

Well, it's certainly nice to see you give away something useful this time Nic instead of another damn potato...

Oh wait...how about a High Definition Potato?

http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/2153/potato2.jpg

Giving away a camera this time, eh Nic? You know, there's a rumor going around Lush that you had some potatoes left over from the last competition that you didn't know what to do with...

I'm not so sure about this camera thing you're giving away...I hope it looks legit...

http://imgur.com/2QTvK.jpg

I thought I saw my name and "bad dream" in the same sentence...must have been that damn auto-correct again...

Yeah, I think Gav has a point...and any story that has 340 Five votes doesn't need a ribbon to get it more attention btw...I'm not sure that member input by voting in addition to what we're already doing is a good idea though...

And I can tell you that not everyone is happy with the few we've picked over on the blue site already...not that everyone on a story site will ever be happy...just sayin'

Apparently Gav had to take the site down earlier to properly install my new Bug Slayer badge...

Relax though, it's over with...you can stop by my page and view it if you like...oh, and thanks Brother Gav...

http://i715.photobucket.com/albums/ww157/weedledee_2009/Tiny%20worlds%20blogs/animation/Tellurik-animated-bug-gif-file.gif

A certain Miss Daisy Shylass made a comment over on FB about how Lush keeps "going down"...so, I just got inspired to write this one today...

Lush keeps going down,
And not the way I would like,
Need to talk to Nic.

On storiesspace there are two stories that have both awards.


Both got Editor Picks first. Doesn't make much sense to me.

Shhhh, don't tell anybody...I think that's supposed to be a secret...yeah, I think we were still working out what this Recommended thing actually means...I didn't even hear about it until I saw the ribbon...and I work there, I think...

If he is worried about his penis size this could well be the root of his problem. Does he read porn books and think that every guy other than him is super dick?

Yeah, I've been having performance anxiety ever since I joined Lush and found out that the average guy is packing a rock hard 14 inches...

Was curious how you came up with that 80% figure btw...and feel free to post more pictures while you're at it...

I know over on the blue site it's a bribery system...currently, it's $10.00 U.S. for a Recommended Read ribbon, and $25.00 for an Editor Pick...

I'm sorry, only joking...you did not actually read this...but, if you did...PM me for more details...

Let me guess...you have a loaded potato and you're not afraid to use it...

Do you have a permit to carry a loaded potato Curly-G?

Good Afternoon my Lushketeer Friends...nice potato you got there Curly G...you gonna bring it with you everywhere you go to show off? Alright, rub it in...you got a potato, and we don't...

Anyway...Reverend Rump...what are the chance of you sending Busty down this way with a couple of tall glasses of Beaver Breath? I might be drinking heavily for the next few months, at least...and thanks for your useful suggestions over on the blue site about my upcoming author event...

Remind me not to hire you as a publicist...but, do send Busty down with the drinks...

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/428458_492626017458853_666591758_n.jpg

Cheers,
Alan.

You sure they were his sister's panties and not his mom's? Or maybe they were his panties for all you know...that might explain a few things...

Unless you are in the porn industry, a stripper, or someone who openly makes a living in the very liberated sex industry then you should learn to be very discrete.

Your career or job could depend on it.

Damn, now you tell me...

Oh wait, I'm thinking maybe DirtyMartini is not my real name...never mind...

S.O.S.
by the Police
makes me want to pull my hair out, or break something....

I might have to agree with this one...it's probably not the absolute worst song ever written, but I agree with you in that I can't stand it...I'm not a fan of the Police at all btw...

I heard somebody say something about subs...we ordering sandwiches here?

Let me know...I'm getting the munchies...

Just saw this today and thought it worth sharing...I think a few here can relate...

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/417839_367338740038853_1365458295_n.jpg

Writer.ly has some good and useful stuff for authors...anyone on Facebook might want to "like" their page btw...just a suggestion...

Here's a video that might be of interest to some of my friends here...

Twitter for Authors: Part one - build your tribe

http://www.youtube.com/embed/TgdOEOpCMdk

The Platters - Only You - HD (1955)

http://www.youtube.com/embed/iZs-e_x0PGM

Happy Birthday Miss Mazza...



I got you a nice cake...hope you enjoy it...

http://moblog.net/media/s/p/r/sprocket/cake-birthday-cake-flame-on-4.jpg

Cheers,
Alan.

Good Evening Lushketeers...alright, I just posted another picture of Marilyn Chambers here...how many free drinks does that entitle me to?

Pass me down a bottle of Beaver Breath when you get a chance Rump...

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e274/NurseJoker/marilyn.jpg

I heard a rumor it's supposed to be Miss Mazza's birthday or something...that sounds like a good reason to party to me...so, pass me a bottle of bourbon for a chaser as well...thanks...

Cheers,
Alan.

I like flying, especially taking off and landing...when you're up in the air in a big plane for hours it can get a bit boring...

Small planes are fun, as mentioned...got to go up in a small plane a couple of times in my life...I think the last was a Piper Comanche B...wouldn't mind doing that again...

http://static.aircraft24.com/images/aircraftpics/58/pic_112958_1_med.jpg

Men have searched the entire Earth,
And prayed to Heaven above,
For the one they can call their own,
A woman they can love.

A woman's love is so very special,
And can be a beautiful thing,
When you find the one you want forever,
Go out and get her a ring.

Challenge: Anal Bleaching

one day, i want to write a story where all the words begin with the letter "P". that is my own personal goal.

Probably problem prone, possibly purposeless past passionately pleasuring private parts.

(And you could never write a story with all "P" words...who you kidding? Ginger begins with a "G")

Man you have a lot of time on your hands!

Was there a pun intended there? Get a grip Buz...

Led Zeppelin - Black Dog (Live Video)

http://www.youtube.com/embed/6tlSx0jkuLM

I keep it all. Sometimes looking back on it can give you an idea for a new story, or you can edit the half finished piece of crap and polish it up.

You can also take a couple of unfinished pieces of crap and put them together to make, hopefully, one not so crappy piece...I've done it with poems a number of times...if you have two or three poems which are going nowhere fast, just take out the best lines from each and put them together...with any luck, you'll get one halfway decent poem out of the deal...

I've only done it once with a story..."Sexual Healing" which is my most popular story, in terms of reader response, not view count, was the result of me going through my unfinished stories back in late February 2010...

There was that story, which was one page in Word that I had started in Oct. 2009, a couple of weeks before I joined Lush btw...and there was another story called "The Best Part Of Breaking Up"...

The latter was a humor piece I had in mind about a guy who starts arguments with his significant other in order to get makeup sex...I couldn't think of a way he could insult her without it becoming possibly distasteful, so I abandoned the story...it was only one paragraph at the time...but, the opening paragraph explained how in order for someone to annoy you, you have to have feelings for them...

Anyway, that section in "Sexual Healing" where it starts "There is something I learned a long time ago. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference." came from that abandoned story...

Yeah, I had no idea this was in the record books either my friends...

Anyway, this thing she's got between her legs sounds positively dangerous...heck, she could probably mash a potato with that thing...

Russian Gymnast Has the World's Strongest Vagina
http://www.counselheal.com/articles/4276/20130308/russian-gymnast-worlds-strongest-vagina.htm

http://images.counselheal.com/data/images/full/2799/tatyana-kozhevnikovam-vagina.png?w=600

I would never really throw anything away I wrote, or purposely delete it...I've lost some stuff I hadn't finished, first time when my netbook got stolen in Sept. 2010...and again when my system crashed right around New Year...but nothing really major...

I've only really been writing in earnest since 2009, so everything is sort of posted on the internet somewhere, for better or worse I might add...

I did write two poems in high school, and a girl I went to school with reminded me about them a couple of years back...I have a feeling they're still in a drawer somewhere...

I did write out a couple of song ideas on paper in the 90's before I got a computer, which means they had to be before '96...a couple of them seem to work more as poems, and I posted one here "I Wish I Knew" is actually the oldest thing I have posted on Lush...early/mid 90's...