Forum posts made by dirtymartini

I was just wondering if anyone thinks this picture is fake...any thoughts?

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/554350_575375872491884_1126780232_n.jpg

She looks like fun...had to post her somewhere...

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/205635_554078747937651_954627944_n.jpg

Good Morning there People of Lush...what are the chances of getting a cup of decent coffee this time of the morning? Maybe I shouldn't ask...just pass me over a sizable cup of whatever Busty concocted...and toss in a few ounces of Beaver Breath...just to kill any germs on the cup...you know, for medicinal purposes...

Btw, did I hear correctly that Mr. Scooter mentioned something about paying off my tab? I always knew you were indeed a gentleman Mr. Scoot...in spite of what the rest of the world may say...

What happen...you hit the Powerball or something? That might give you enough to pay off most of my tab...I do appreciate this btw...in fact, tell the Reverend to get you a drink...

And, um...put it on my tab...

Cheers,
Alan.

The basic ingredient is fish oil.

The problem with that is it won't cover up any fishy oders...what you really need is the Bacon Lube...goes great with a side of eggs...I mean side of legs...

I have no idea what I mean...

http://cdn0.lostateminor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/bacon-lube.jpg

so, you won't let me write my story in all wingdings either?

Is this the story you just submitted to the contest over on the blue site? I thought it was yours, but you forgot to put your name on it...don't let it happen again, or I'll have to reject it...

http://www.identifont.com/samples/microsoft/Wingdings.gif

Chicago Transit Authority ...I'm A Man...
http://www.youtube.com/embed/j8vY3vAbAdQ

Here is another chance to get an erotic story or poem in print...in an upcoming anthology on Inner Child Press...and they do a really nice job btw...they published my own book...

I'm putting this here rather than the "Contest and Submission Call" section, since there is no payment involved...just a chance to see your work in print...which is always nice btw...and you'll be able to get the book at a discount when it comes out...probably for less than ten bucks...

Opening for Submissions

Valentines Day

Hot Summer Nights

2013

poetry . . . prose . . . story . . . collaborations

CLOSES April 1st

Important . . . Read

This Offering is for the Sensual, Love Erotica
No Overt Vulgarity or Expletives . . . No Porn . . . No Child Molestation or Bestiality.
We are looking for Creative Expressions that denotes the Feelings or Experiences of Passion, Desire and Love.
All that do not conform to these guidelines will be rejected without explanation at our discretion.
Inner Child Press
submit to

innerchildpressanthologies@gmail.com
The Submission Rules are simple.
Please Read Carefully.
Paste your Poem / Prose along with the Title in the Email Body
Font : Times New Roman 12 PT
Underline your Title
Single Spaced without Indents
Work in ALL CAPS will not be accepted.
Please, No Attachments Accepted
Include your Name at bottom of Poem / Prose
You may include 1 Web Link with your work.
Your entry receipt will be verified by an automated response.
Please adhere to these guidelines explicitly.
There will be no further private communications

Any entries that do not comply with these simple guidelines will not be accepted.
Only 1 Piece per Entrant per Category

( Poetry, Prose & Collaborations )

ALL WORK MUST BE EDITED PRIOR TO SUBMISSION !!!

Submit To

innerchildpressanthologies@gmail.com

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/205775_4914144287745_1935298456_n.jpg

Here is another chance to get an erotic story or poem in print...in an upcoming anthology on Inner Child Press...and they do a really nice job btw...they published my own book...

I'm putting this here rather than the "Contest and Submission Call" section, since there is no payment involved...just a chance to see your work in print...which is always nice btw...and you'll be able to get the book at a discount when it comes out...probably for less than ten bucks...

Opening for Submissions

Valentines Day

Hot Summer Nights

2013

poetry . . . prose . . . story . . . collaborations

CLOSES April 1st

Important . . . Read

This Offering is for the Sensual, Love Erotica
No Overt Vulgarity or Expletives . . . No Porn . . . No Child Molestation or Bestiality.
We are looking for Creative Expressions that denotes the Feelings or Experiences of Passion, Desire and Love.
All that do not conform to these guidelines will be rejected without explanation at our discretion.
Inner Child Press
submit to

innerchildpressanthologies@gmail.com
The Submission Rules are simple.
Please Read Carefully.
Paste your Poem / Prose along with the Title in the Email Body
Font : Times New Roman 12 PT
Underline your Title
Single Spaced without Indents
Work in ALL CAPS will not be accepted.
Please, No Attachments Accepted
Include your Name at bottom of Poem / Prose
You may include 1 Web Link with your work.
Your entry receipt will be verified by an automated response.
Please adhere to these guidelines explicitly.
There will be no further private communications

Any entries that do not comply with these simple guidelines will not be accepted.
Only 1 Piece per Entrant per Category

( Poetry, Prose & Collaborations )

ALL WORK MUST BE EDITED PRIOR TO SUBMISSION !!!

Submit To

innerchildpressanthologies@gmail.com

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/205775_4914144287745_1935298456_n.jpg

Btw, I happen to like a nice bacon sandwich once in a while...though I think this one could use a bit more bacon...note the bottle of Wild Turkey in the background...looks like a nice meal to me...

http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/Demotivational-Posters-Bacon-13-512x480.jpg

You know...I don't really mind the government banning assault weapons...as long as they don't ban bacon assault weapons...

http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/Demotivational-Posters-Bacon-11-586x480.jpg

See...there really is a solution for everything...

http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/Demotivational-Posters-Bacon-5.jpg

And for you religious types...

http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/Demotivational-Posters-Bacon-2-595x480.jpg

Sometimes I wonder though if adding bacon really makes everything better...

http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/Demotivational-Posters-Bacon-384x480.jpg

See...there really is a solution for everything...

http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/Demotivational-Posters-Bacon-5.jpg

And for you religious types...

http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/Demotivational-Posters-Bacon-2-595x480.jpg

Sometimes I wonder though if adding bacon really makes everything better...

http://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/Demotivational-Posters-Bacon-384x480.jpg

Good Evening Lushkins...nice to see everyone here...hope it's not too late to get a tall mug of Beaver Breath...

Hey Scooter...if I pass you over my pipe, do you think you could pack a bowl for me? Thanks man, I appreciate it...

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/167465_484450428264294_964637160_n.jpg

Cheers,
Alan.

Peter Paul & Mary ...
http://www.youtube.com/embed/3t4g_1VoGw4

And for the man who has everything...allow me to present...the bacon shoe...

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/318048_10152079934686494_568311291_n.jpg

Good Evening there Lushkins...Hope everyone is doing well this Friday-type evening...

Did I hear someone say they were buying drinks? Was that you Chef? Very nice of you, though I really hate to take advantage of your generosity...

Hey Reverend...pass me over that gallon jug of Beaver Breath sitting behind the bar...Chef says she's buying...thanks...

I might have a quarter to put in the jukebox though to get the party started...

(reaches into pocket, pulls out lint)

Hmmm...anyone here can loan me a quarter for the jukebox?

Anyway, this jug of BB should hold me over for the next hour or so...I be back...

Cheers,
Alan.

Hey Dlizze...you have far more patience than me if you can do watch repair...just sayin'

Dug up another picture I posted in an Exakta collector's forum...this was taken with an Exakta VXIIa circa 1960, 55/1.9 Steinheil Auto-Quinon and Kodak film...

The guitar btw, is the first 3 pickup Gibson Les Paul Double Cutaway ever made...I was in a car accident in 1997, and came into some money as a result...spent it all on custom guitars, but that's another story...seems like a lifetime ago for some reason...

http://www.exaktaphile.com/listphotos/blue.jpg

I don't have much scanned into my computer, but had this posted on another site...a Waltham pocket watch I inherited, belonged to my great-grandfather Walter Henry Jankowski...

1/25 @ f11 with Post-War Exakta 66, circa 1954, 80/2.8 Tessar with Extension Tubes and Kodak Portra 160.

http://www.exaktaphile.com/listphotos/Watch2.jpg

Good Evening my Lushketeer Friends...nice pictures there Mr. Scooter...I see you survived another birthday party, and that's always a good sign...we didn't need another dead body laying around anyway...Coma and Tose are enough...

A big "Howdy" to Chef, Sharon, CurlyG, Slippery2012, NymphW, and anyone else who I might have missed...

Hey Reverend...let me get a tall mug of Beaver Breath, with a Beaver Breath chaser...and a double shot of Beaver Breath on the side for good measure...just, um...put it on my tab...

Speaking of my tab...in a serious effort to pay that off...alright, attempt to make a dent...as well as possibly pay some other bills...I am making my Lushketeer friends an offer of a lifetime...and I don't make this offer to just anyone...

As some may know, I do have a book out...a fine collection of 78 poems and 4 of the finest short stories the literary world has ever seen...

I Often Wonder: a collection of poetry and prose
http://www.amazon.com/Often-Wonder-collection-poetry-prose/dp/0615690815

The book normally sells on Amazon for $19.95...but, I am able to offer my bar friends here a rare opportunity to purchase a copy signed by yours truly for just $15.00 plus $3.00 shipping...a grand total of approximately $18.00...payable to my PayPal account...my e-mail is: Exakta66@gmail.com

Should any of you fine appreciators of literary masterpieces be interested...send me a note with your address...that price included shipping anywhere here in the U.S.A...other countries would be more, of course...

So...in the meantime...pass the drinks Rev. Rumpskin...

Cheers,
Alan.

Oh dear...just sayin'

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/66434_512289398811872_1273419010_n.jpg

Happy Birthday Buz...Hope you have a great day...


http://www.techkings.org/attachments/general-chat/5231d1333328771t-happy-birthday-iluvendo-sexy_lady_birthday_cake.gif

Cheers,
Alan.

I vaguely remember a waffle/pancake/crepe poll... Could we add that to the list? I'm quite happy with the relationship status as is, but then I'm usually happy after 1, 2 or 5 bottles of wine...

Hmmm...kinda thinking a "Married to wine" option would go over well...what you say Nic?

Good Evening Lushketeers...Looks like there's a bit of a party going on here...I see since it's cold outside, Rump turned the doorway into a Polish refrigerator as we call it around here...

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/580536_360047857435666_942619266_n.jpg

Hey Scooter...I like that birthday cake you had imported from Colorado...let me know when it's time to cut it...

http://media.cakecentral.com/modules/coppermine/albums/userpics/72947/normal_Marijuana_-_resized_for_upload.JPG

Anyway...Happy Birthday Buz, Miss Holly, Scooter, Martin, and anyone else I may or may not have missed...

In the meantime, pass me down a tall mug of Beaver Breath...
Cheers,
Alan.

Don't forget the cousins and neighbors...

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/530716_299660216803140_1872249323_n.jpg

Can't say I read this one...

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/564769_322010701240695_1047133889_n.jpg

The Buffalo Springfield - Mr. Soul...
http://www.youtube.com/embed/m1LwaXNi7n8

Happy Birthday Coco...


I stopped and got a cake...

http://a1128.g.akamai.net/7/1128/497/0001/image.proflowers.com/is/image/ProvideCommerce/GFB_13_SCA6AMERBTY_CH1837_W1_PF

Cheers,
Alan.

Good Afternoon Lushkins...damn, it's sort of crowded here...did I hear somebody say something about free drinks? Happens to be my favorite kind of drink...pass a couple this way to get me started...

Chef, if the worse thing that ever happened in that pool was somebody farting it wouldn't be so bad...don't even really want to think about it, but it might be time to toss Coma and Tose in there for their yearly bath...I don't know whose turn it'll be to change the water afterwards, just know it's not mine...

Hey Nic...I wasn't the one dressing up the dog as a lion, but my cousin Donald had a dog that really looked sort of like a lion...used to scare the kids...it was real big and looked something like this...it's a chow chow actually, and he had two of them at once...

http://www.sfgate.com/blogs/images/sfgate/pets/2009/11/06/Chow.jpg

Anyway...oh, I see the sign over on the wall "Buy two drinks, get one free"...hmmm, let me get the free one for now, and I'll be back later for the other two...

Cheers,
Alan.

Three players that should probably be kept apart...just sayin'

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/312357_466979356700353_352080740_n.jpg

Sorry...I couldn't help myself...

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/545239_429287680478247_1355154884_n.jpg

Yeah, this is about right...

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/602857_413051385447478_2022216843_n.jpg