Forum posts made by dudealicious

I honestly don't give a rats ass, I spend as much time in the kitchen as she does...... Who gives a shit as to what she's wearing on her feet.

Flatulants and excess gas.

So you mention your man only gets 80% hard.....how does one measure that? Do you know what 70%, or 90% feels like for that matter?

Is not getting completely hard something that affects you more than it does him?

You say that you're out of his league when it comes to looks.....what kind of statement is that? Maybe you project that onto him in someway and he feels an enormous pressure to live up to you and your expectations. You come off sounding quite full of yourself actually.

As for addressing the matter at hand, why don't you two go down to the local sex toy store and pick out a few things. One of them being a cock ring. That should help with his hardness and obtain 97-100% hardness.

When I was younger, I would go to my friends house and go into the shared bathroom and take his sisters panties out of the hamper and literally lick and eat the white dried cum out of her panties. I would suck on the pieces of cum until they dissolved in my mouth.
Would you be mad or turned on if you caught me doing that?
Also, is there any way that I could tell her now, 14 years later, what I use to do with her panties?
Please let me know your thoughts!

http://images.lushstories.com/dudealicious/01635029320149824577.gif

Oh please, you know as well as I do that there's plenty of dickless wonders that constantly spew bullshit for a living.

Our Canadian Government is a prime example.

Or the coach of your beloved Maple Leafs.

Right girls a little dilemma for you if you had the choice of no more periods ever again but the only catch is you have to give up your clit too or the annoying periods are worth having because you get to have a clit

Would you give up your cock so you could shit?

It's a phenomenon known as 'twerking'. Prepare to be amazed, dear trinket...because I'm about to school you, and your life will no longer be the same from this moment on.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/kx1kRM0iGf4



While she exhibits some amazing control of her booty, the thoughts race through my head.

Would a guy be able to contain his laughter if he was in the "doggy" position and all of a sudden she breaks out and twerks against him? Not me, I would break out in laughter and that would be the end of the night (as far as sex is concerned)

People that cannot relax and have fun here. Not everything has to be super serious, why rain on a parade when it's only intention was to laugh a little? Who cares how many times someone responds in a specific thread?

If you don't like it......move on.

1999 vw gold v5 (red, commuter) 1993 Mini Cooper (British racing green) 1952 mg yb (green and cream) 2009 Nissan GTR black (grey, track car) and about to get 2012 Kawasaki ninja (black)

So if I get this right at the age of 21 you have over $175,000.00 (Canadian Dollars) or $95,000.00 (British pounds) worth of vehicles?

You must have a hell of a job, or parents that spoil the shit out of you!

I suppose they don't rank you as 'wise ass' for nothing

You da best Dude

Hey that baby ducks good shit! Make sure it's chilled though, it could burn your taste buds off otherwise......

I think I've found a Starbucks gift card here in my wallet. If those minis aren't enough for the cab driver, maybe we could tell him there's 50 bucks on it........could work!

True story,

It has recently been released that there have been pictures taken of the Mars Rover's handy work. Is this a good use of taxpayers dollars to help fund NASA's projects on other planets?


http://images.lushstories.com/dudealicious/02635024909013053403.jpg


Here's a "cleaner" pic
http://images.lushstories.com/dudealicious/01635024906874123692.jpg

Surprise me

Just promise me that if I get too drunk and pass out on you that you won't leave me for dead. Or worse yet, leave me only to find myself waking up from my drunken stuper to witness the homeless bum smiling from ear to ear at me and smoking a post-coital cigarette - UGH!


Ok so I was able to put together this little ditty of mini's we could get right shitfaced on..
http://images.lushstories.com/dudealicious/01635024898980629093.jpg

I also thought I would class it up a little and thought you may be wooed by a bottle of this. I know you like it a little more "high class"

http://images.lushstories.com/dudealicious/02635024899626473233.jpg

I promise I wouldn't every leave you with that bum smoking that "post-coital cigarette". I will make sure to hail a cab for you and pay the driver in whatever booze we have left. I am sure he will take you exactly where you need to go.

I got your back Belle!

http://www.gamesprays.com/files/resource_media/preview/grumpy-cat-8141_preview.png

Well shit, it looks like you've seen right through me. Thanks for the laughs though!

mine flashes on and off like christmas lights, same colors, too - blue, green, red, yellow. :)

Hot damn Rach! That sounds like a night to remember!

Baby, if you're cool with squeezing your Canadian dipstick into a dirty cum-filled cock-wrapper, then the least I could do is oblige you. A little STD or two never killed anyone...has it?

As for liquid courage, I'm in agreement. Why not throw back a few shots with the homeless bum while we're at it. I'm sure he's cool with sharing his liquor stash in exchange for us allowing him to watch you plow me

That's the Canadian spirit! I knew I could count on ya Belle! Rummages through my bag of mini's What's your poison tonight? Vodka, whiskey?

Hey. Let's not bring innocent kitties into this. This isn't that kinda party.

Ok ok my bad, I've connected everything now (wink) do you think we still have a shot at this?

http://images.lushstories.com/dudealicious/1634551200356662721.jpg

It's funny you should mention that. Although it appears to be shaven, the hairs are actually trimmed really short and have been treated with glow-in-the-dark dye.

I've seen that in porn before and always was wondering if it would be easier to go down on a glow in the dark pussy. Especially when the lights are off.

Awwwwe Dude, you're such a romantic and really know how to make a woman feel special

(P.S. meet me outside in the dark alley near the overflowing dumpster and homeless bum living in the cardboard box and Jesus Christ, DON'T forget the fucking condom! )

Does the condom have to be fresh? Maybe the bum could find one for us just in case I forget.

To make the night a little more romantic, I'll bring some booze. I have stolen a few minis off of the Jack Daniels bottles at the local liquor store. A little liquid courage never hurts right?

Cum? I don't do that. I'm allergic. But then again, since you see me and not hear me, I can totally fake it.

Now we're talking! For some strange reason, I hope your crotch glows in real life like your Av.

Actually my wall decor is a collage of cartoon characters. Is that a bother?

Not at all, just looking forward to making you cyber cum for me.

Don't really know what you mean by this grinder.....care to elaborate?

hankyspanky wrote:
Fake avatars&giving Birthday wishes&never getting a thanks! Ive done that many times,is thanks too much from,"friends" No!


You're joking aren't you? At least using one of the lush avatars would be better than having NO avatar wouldn't it? That outline of a person on your avatar isn't really you either I'll bet.



NotSoBigD wrote:
I guess my Pet Peeve would have to be stories that are so far fetched as to be unbelievable. I may be old but I am not totally ugly and never has a beautiful, drop dead sexy woman walked up to me and said "Wanna fuck?" In real life that doesn't happen, at least not to me. Write about reality! Also, learn the difference between then and than.



I looked at your profile and it seems you have written NO stories. Even if you had written some stories, it still wouldn't give you the right to criticize those who have written the stories here so YOU can read them. If you don't like them, don't read them.

Just because a drop dead gorgeous sexy woman hasn't walked up to you and said "wanna fuck?" doesn't mean it's never happened to anyone else, EVER.



Oh sweet Jesus, you've both been served by none other than Trinket!

Thata girl - keep 'em on their toes

Hey Belle, wanna fuck?

Sure...but ummm the built-in microphone in my laptop doesn't work. So I'll be able to hear you, but you won't be able to hear me.

That's cool if you over accentuate your words I will catch on. I'm a pretty damned good lip reader..

I can't wait to see the decor of your bedroom.....post modernistic I'm guessing yeah?

P.S. I don't think that 'fullofcum' clause in your handle implies what you intended it to imply...I'm just saying.

Hey now.....
Ok fuck you got me touché ......good one!

So can we Skype now?

shush, you. *has you kidnapped, thrown in a van, and driven to New Mexico and left outside a McDonalds*

I'd prefer Taco Bell........... por favor!

Just seems more "authentic"

I'll give you mine as soon as you fix that blasted webcam of yours.

I went out and bought a new one today.....serious!

Hehehe I'm sure she'll fall for that....silly Dani

Just in case there's any other ladies to hook up my Skype handle is:

Dumbhungandfullofcum

it's like the guys' loo. only clean. :)

I'm not so sure about that. I have heard many women comment on how they have snuck into the men's room at a concert or something and were amazed how clean the men's room actually was.

I'd also like to know who falls for the reverse cam trick. The one where both parties are on a call but only one is showing themselves on the camera. "I'll watch you, but unfortunately I don't have a web cam/my web cam doesn't work."


Fuck Dani!

You just gave my secret away!

You fucking shithead,

You parade around and post various pictures on social media sites of your precious little car. You know the one that you can't afford!

We press you to be a responsible citizen and own up to your financial commitments, cutting you off of the "gravy train". Quite frankly, I would gain more pleasure in burning my money than to hand a cent over to you. So you run down to daddy and find work back "home". You were quite proud of yourself in finding work, and to be honest we were proud of you.

I then get a phone call from you mom while she is waiting for her flight at the airport letting me know a few things. First, you have not paid your car payments for three months......WHAT THE FUCK! You're working (supposedly) 50-60 hours a week. The first priority should be your car....second your insurance. BUT, guess what, you have left your dad on the hook for both payments. How on gods green earth can you do that and still sleep at night?

No wonder why you have been contacting us more frequently, you've fucked up (AGAIN) and want to try to butter us up for help. Well buddy guess what? There's no help in the way of money coming to you. We have thrown thousands of dollars down the tube to help you out, with little to no thanks. In fact, you almost feel that you are entitled to us bailing you out every time you fuck up. Nope! It's over, you have created this mess and now have to find your way out of it.

We will offer you help in the form of financial planning and talking to a few debt relief companies to see if we can get those collection agencies off of your back. But that's it, you have been "working" and can afford your payments. There's no excuse as to why you cannot pay your own bills, you should really be ashamed that you have now left your dad with a $2,500.00 bill to pay. Why? Because you suckered him in to co-sign for that lease, had your insurance cancelled because you couldn't pay it (shocker) and he felt obligated to help you out. You don't even show him a sign of appreciation for helping you out like he has. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

Good luck getting any sort of credit, or even a place of your own to rent. We have told you on many occassions that you have to clear up your responsibilities. You have chosen to neglect our advice and find yourself in this slippery situation. So help me god, if you even try to play the "victim" card on this......we will have words boy.

Good luck son, you will really need it now.