And so I have returned. Behold my awesomeness and epicness as I yet again wander the chatrooms. I will insult you and mock you, but it's all in good fun.... unless I don't like the look of you, then it's because I think you're a cunt. Just ask me and I'll let you know all you want.My stories are mostly based on humour and sarcasm. If you're one of those that think that sex should be all seriousness then stay away from my stories and you should probably stay away from me until you've gotten a sense of humour. Also if you're touchy and can't take a joke.
Not following any authors
Be a massive cocktease and get tons of free drinks. Maybe make some dude miserable by telling him I'm fat and watch them try to convince me otherwise. You know, typical woman things...
Hey, does that mean you lot would be having the babies too? I'd like to see you squeeze one out hahahhahahahah Let me see you say how a little baby that your man literally just shat out is beautiful. Not to mention you going out to get us pickled herrings at 2 AM because we're craving it
Malala is a brave girl, no one will contest that. She stood up against the Taliban and have been a vital spokesperson for education for women in the third world, as well as the rest of the world. No doubt about it. The issue finally has a face and it's someone that the first world has actually fallen in love with. However, has she really done anything? Has she done anything else than light a hope in the world? In my opinion, no. Secondly, she is 16. Does anyone know what a massive prize her head would be for any fundamendalist groups in the world had she been given the peace prize? Lets face it, it's not just the Taliban that are against her, but there are nutjobs in the rest of the world as well that are sympathetic to the extreme islamic views(mostly they're in the west because they get ostrochised from their small local communities). I actually believe she would have been living on borrowed time and schools might have been force to take the choice between letting her go to their school and risking the lives of her fellow pupils, or expelling her. It's an increadibly difficult situation. EDIT: Likewise, the deadline for nominating people to the peace prize ran out in February. Her major contributions have been after this deadline, so according to the will of Alfred Nobel(which dictates what the recipient must have done to earn it) she's not even close to being eligable for the prize. I have no doubt that she will at some point get it should she continue her work, but not now. OPCW actually has done something to promote peace. The destruction of weapons is a big step towards peace. Some 75% of the world's chemical weapons have been destroyed so far by them, and now they're heading into the world's biggest chemical weapons cache in Syria. These are truly the unsung heroes, because they don't hold speeches, but prevent children from suffering agonising deaths from Sarin gas. As for the Nobel committe being biased, they're actually rather broad in the political spectrum. Each party in the Norwegian parliment selects one member to be placed there. Although the current chairman is a humongeous twat that has his eyes on Norway becoming part of the EU and himself as the President of the EU, it's still a broad spectrum of politicians that have managed to piss off China to such a degree that they've cut a lot of ties to Norway, politically and financially. So no, it's not a bunch of stupid commies sitting there.
So we've had the fuss about GTA V being released and making more money than any games, movies or music by the first 24 hours. Still to come we have the big guns of Battlefield 4 and Call of Duty: Ghosts as well as Assassin's Creed Black Flag and Batman Arkham Origins. Tons of other less known, like Football Manager that will probably do well in Europe. Any games you're particularly looking forward to? Anyone that is a must have? Personally Batman and Assassin's Creed is a must buy for me. I'll have a look at whatever else pops up, but this is definetely a must for me.
Have you tried telling him what makes you feel good? If you masturbate at all then surely you know how to give yourself an orgasm. Just because something works on one woman, doesn't mean that it works on you. For all you know he'll end up with a girl that says surprise buttsex is so pleasurable despite the pain that he should try it on you and before you know it you're in the ER. Like Kimasa said, do you really believe that him shagging another woman would benefit your sex life? Is him fucking another woman something that turns you on, because if it's not then I doubt there's really any point of doing it. And if he is crappy in bed then I doubt she'll be willing to be a teacher and bring him into sexual training, because that would require a lot of patience. I could see the thrill of training an 18yo virgin to suck my dick like a godess, but I have to admit having to "train" a sexually experienced woman in her 30's would have less of an appeal to me...
If the Confederate flag is supposed to symbolise hard work and church on the Sunday and all that then they've done one shitty job at marketing it for that purpose. To me it is THE symbol of American stupidity, racism, bigotry, opressing, Bible bashing, intolerance and a bunch of other things, simply because the ones wielding it have been spewing this crap. Banning it isn't the solution, you just have to educate people, although given that the states and different schoolboards have so much liberty in what is to be taught at school it will take some time before that happens. In the meantime, let me turn your attention to this picture. Notice the caption in the bottom. Kinda sums it up... http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/rebwed3.png
Unless they both engulf eachother's pussies in a 69 then I'm quite sure that there's at least one hole available for you to stick your cock in. Just wait and see what happens. If they do a 69 then maybe you can stick your cock in one of them. If one licks the other with her ass up in the air you have a pussy/ass or mouth available to you. Go with the flow. Spontaniuety(if that's a word) is part of the fun about the whole thing. No plan survives longer than the first shot...
Tobacco and alcohol would both be banned if they had been discovered today, had we known all the negative effects. There are no real positive sides that can outweigh all the negative effects for it.As for what smoking does, as Felix said it does relax the smoker. The nicotine does raise your heart rate, but it lowers your blood pressure and it gives your brain a relaxed feeling. I had my bloodpressure taken right after a smoke and the nurse had to ask if I was feeling alright. But the extra taxes on tobacco is big business for all the governments. Look at the EU. They're trying to appear proper by working on a ban on certain tastes to cigarettes, like menthol, but they've still banned snus, a Swedish form for tobacco that you put under your lip. I've tried the US version and it's not the same. Point is that snus reduces the risk of cancer by 90%, basically meaning it's healthier. So where's the common sense in saying you want people to stop smoking, but you outright ban something that has helped a lot of smokers quit is retarded. It's like banning drugs and then saying you also ban methadone.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/10/02/the-shutdown-is-the-constitutions-fault/It's a pretty long one, but basically he says that the constitution is to blame for the shutdown and advocates for the removal of the current political system in the US and get in parlamentarism instead. There are currently two houses that are put equal, and basically it makes it rather difficult for the voters to know exactly who to blame for things going to shit. In 2010 the economy was garbage, so, as political science would predict, the American people punished the party in power, the Democrats.But the diffusion of power throughout the political system made it impossible to know for sure who was responsible for the state of the economy. Maybe it was the fault of Susan Collins and other moderate senators who used filibuster threats to cut the stimulus. Maybe it was the fault of the rest of the Republican caucus for imposing a 60-vote threshold for stimulus and not cooperating. Maybe it was the Bush-appointed Federal Open Market Committee's fault for not loosening rates in 2007 and 2008. Maybe it was all Obama's fault for not pushing for more stimulus, and Democrats in Congress would have been happy to pass it. In most other countries the government needs the backing of the parliment to actually be appointed. Sure, both Italy and Germany have presidents, but the power is with the Prime Minister who runs a government based on which party got how many seats. In terms it's quite easy to see who to blame; it's the guys in power, no matter what. It's not a question of whether it's the President/Prime Minister or the people in the parliment. A survey showed that only 10% of the US population have faith in the congress(couldn't find the source, sorry), and I doubt things will improve over this stalemate. So is it time where they should actually have a voting on whether or not to rethink the entire political system and adopt parlamentarism with only one house?
Sir Edmund Bluesnake walked into the library of his manor and slumped down in one of the lounge chairs. It had been a hard day’s work. Not only did he have to make sure that the beer his brewery was making had the right taste, he was also required to go to his distillery and check on his whisky. The nearly two hour long drive had made his chauffeur desperate for a smoke as Sir Edmund didn’t...
Added 26 Mar 2013 | Category Quickie Sex
| Votes 10 | Avg Score 4.7
| Views 2,494
| 7 Comments
I took a deep breath as I walked down towards the Immigration desks. For some reason, people in uniform have always made me a bit worried, even if I haven’t done anything wrong. Customs and Immigration officers were the two types that always had me a bit more worried. I had walked past armed soldiers that were more than trigger-happy, without flinching. But for some reason, these guys, who...
Added 11 Oct 2012 | Category Oral Sex
| Votes 31 | Avg Score 4.79
| Views 5,122
| 21 Comments
There once was a girl named JJ, Who had a cock above her vajayjay; It was a sizeable prick, Often called Moby Dick, But, sadly, now it's on vaycay. It was the greatest one in the world; She used duct tape to keep it curled. Nearly 8 feet long, They sang it a song, Then buckets of cum, it hurled. Looking at hers makes me dumb as a mute; Mine barely works as a piccolo flute. With her...
Added 07 Oct 2012 | Category Love Poems
| Votes 9 | Avg Score 4.78
| Views 1,409
| 4 Comments
Polly the Preggo was sat comfortably on the couch, spread-eagled and kicking her legs, with her wellies flapping comfortably onto her skin. There was something delicious about that feeling, the waft of air as it rushed past her knees with every kick. She could sometimes feel those welly breaths blow up between her legs, underneath the thin, long t-shirt she was wearing. As she lay back on...
Added 08 Sep 2012 | Category Lesbian
| Votes 12 | Avg Score 4.92
| Views 3,282
| 11 Comments
The autumn rain hammered down onto the darkened skylights above him as he wandered down the hallway. As he went through his evening routine of checking that all the lights were off, he locked each office door as he went along, listening to the wind and rain as his cock stiffened. The closer he got to her room, the more excited he felt; his fingers began to fumble on the locks. Reaching the end...
Added 01 Sep 2012 | Category Fetish
| Votes 25 | Avg Score 4.87
| Views 5,014
| 16 Comments
Bill held out his scythe and spun it around along the wall, carving a hole there. A blinding flash struck out as he finished the oval circle. The wall seemed to open up as a portal to the other side was finalised and ready. “Time to go.” Sarah crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. “No! I told you there’s more from that file that I wanna know.” “Too bad.” Bill stretched out...
Added 01 Aug 2012 | Category Anal
| Votes 22 | Avg Score 4.95
| Views 2,918
| 16 Comments
My helmet my armour my sword my shield All of these you took from me I opened my heart up to you The love I showed was always true I confided in you and told you things Thoughts that only a loving heart brings I gave it my all because I loved you so Maybe that was too much for you It was not the breakup that made me mad It was not the heartache that made me sad What tore me...
Added 28 Jul 2012 | Category Love Poems
| Votes 13 | Avg Score 4.85
| Views 544
| 9 Comments
The Grim Reaper stuck his bony hand inside his cloak, and pulled out a pocketwatch with a chain attached to whatever was inside. “For fuck's sake. Can you get your saggy ass moving? We’re already late and if I don’t get to pick up the others, then I’ll have to go hunting for ghosts. That’s a fucking nightmare.” Sarah sat down on the bed, looking up at him. “What is your name?” ...
Added 27 Jul 2012 | Category Lesbian
| Votes 24 | Avg Score 4.86
| Views 3,043
| 15 Comments
Sarah sat up in her bed. She flinched as she put her feet on the floor, waiting for the cold floorboards to make her curl her toes in pain. “Well that’s weird.” She didn’t feel anything apart from her feet hitting the floor. Not the texture of the floor or the temperature. When she started to regain her senses she didn’t even feel cold at all. She looked outside and saw the snow on the...
Added 14 Jul 2012 | Category First Time
| Votes 33 | Avg Score 4.87
| Views 4,223
| 23 Comments
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