Young women (18, 19, etc) who date older men suffer traumas in the future?
Do they feel "burned" when they get older themselves and reach their 30s and 40s? Like if they should have taken things more slowly, and enjoy more with boys of her age, instead of rushing things? Or perhaps they think they were taken advantage of by those guys when they were innocent and vulnarable? I guess it takes a lot of emotional IQ to handle that stuff, any opinions?
PS I am talking in general, I guess each person is different.
i love older men. always have. but i dont usually go for men past early EARLY 30s then they get too old
I'm 38 and often find myself in situations with 19-21 year old women. Nothing wrong with it.
I've always found myself going for older guys...late 20s was my favourite age range but I did, at one point, go up to late 50s. I am, however, now in a relationship with someone 2 years older than me... for me it's down to maturity. Both physical and mental maturity.
Guys my age (18, 19 etc) are often not 'filled out' yet, as a 5 ft 11 'curvy' girl I really don't want to be dating some scrawny little thing. I want them to fill out, broaden up a bit and have a goddamned growth spurt before I go anywhere near them. This said, some guys mature physically much quicker and so I find them attractive.
Mentally mature goes without saying; I have no interest in a guy who can't hold a good conversation, who is incapable of watching a film that makes him actually have to think and so on. But mentally mature, for me anyway, also refers to being able to stand on their own two feet in the real world (taking responsibility for their own life, money etc).
If a guy has both those things then chances are I'm going to be interested and attracted to him. This goes for casual sex too, to an extent.
I haven't felt 'burned' by older men (although, this said, perhaps I haven't had enough time to dwell on this yet!)...more often than not I'm the one sneaking out in the morning so to speak (cutting off contact with them).
I've said it before and I'll say it again....yes I find a fair few older men attractive. Yes, if I were single, I would fuck some of them. Yes, I might casually date them. No, I wouldn't seriously date anyone greatly older than me. Why? You have different life goals, wishes and so on. I've got plenty of stuff to do before I settle down, I still want to travel and read and draw and generally widen my knowledge and experiences. My last ex was in his early 30s and I can, now, see that even that was too old for me personally to want to date. No spontaneity, it was stuck in a rut, repetitive. Of course, that says a lot about him as opposed to his age group but I'm hoping you can see what I'm getting at here.
Do excuse the rant, I hope some of it actually answers the original question. One day I'll learn to stop going off on tangents..
Ok girls, thanks for your answers. But the aim of this thread is not to compare older men versus younger men.
It's about how young women who date older men feel 15 or 20 years later when they look back at their past and what they feel about it.
I think they do later in life. Age will catch up to everyone and when we're talking about people under 50, activity level, physical fitness level, energy and sexual compatibility are more likely to synch up enough to make a relationship work to some degree. That's to say nothing of the generational differences when it comes to how you see the world, or life experience.
The reality is that if you're significantly older and dating someone who is barely finished their teenage years, you're kind of a pervert. Sorry, I just don't see anything other than physical attraction and sex going on, no matter how much the guy wants to spin it that you are so 'mature' for your age at 19, and how you need a 'real man and not a boy'... This is just predatory word-candy.
Every girl feels more mature than she really is at 19. I thought I'd figured out life and knew it all! That special precocious arrogance of youth often leads certain girls to idealize an older guy because guys her own age are inexperienced and haven't figured out all the word-candy finessing to get and keep the attention of a younger girl.
Hook-ups and mini-relationships are fine if the younger girl is enjoying being with the older guy... but do these relationships last? Nah, not usually (unless you live in a small town with few dating options, no nightlife, or believe divorce is a sin no matter what). As you get older, energy levels change, interests switch and you may be hitting your sexual peak and psychological stride at 30yrs old while your man just wants to sit in his lazy-boy all weekend in his old-man's shirt and go to bed at 10pm. Either the younger girl compromises her youth and stays vaguely miserable or she jumps ship.
When i met my boyfriend, I was 17 and he was 30. 6 years later, i sometimes find myself thinking that maybe i was to young and should have found someone young. I think age gaps in relationships are only a problem to other people, but in some cases, i think they do affect the relationship.
"I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing." - Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts) in Pretty Women
I'm always suspect of much older men who continuously go after the 18-19 year old girls. To me, they seem weak, insecure, and can't handle women around their own age. I can see a 10 year age swing either way, but seeking out girls 15-20 years younger does seem pretty pervy. I don't see how a man nearing his 40's can repeatedly find himself in situations with 19 year olds. It's not like you're meeting them in clubs. How does that happen? I'm honestly just curious. 
