Curious to know if anyone else is in one. I have a primary and a secondary, we're kind of like a triadic situation. Would love to know if anyone is involved like this.
Polyamorous: Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
I lived for seven years, from 1973 to 1980, in a polyandrous relationship. Like any marriage, it had its ups and downs. But as many will tell you, the relationship complications seem to vary as the square of the number of the people involved. A relationship of three people sometimes is more than twice as difficult than a relationship of two.
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
Yes I have and as you say it can be complicated.
Even complicated to define the issues.
Oh, it's the perfect situation. We don't have major issues within our relationships and if their is one we talk about it.
While the complications can get a bit hectic at times, the benefits are also squared. My girls and I are a Triad, not a 'V' - the support and love we share more than makes up for the few bumps in the road we run across occasionally.
I am not into something like that. Love should be not shared. I love only one woman. An amorous relationship with multiple partners is not comparable for me with the one true love I feel for the one woman who owns my heart.
Some people aren't wired for it, Aragon
Just as some are wired for heterosexuality, some for homosexuality and some for bi-sexuality - people can be wired for monogamy or polyamoury
Doesn't make it wrong, just different.
I've had 4 such relationships over the years. I can't speak for other people, but when I'm in a relationship with a woman and we both allow each other to have sexual encounters outside of our immediate relationship, it's more like being the member of a club than an actual relationship with that partner. While I had a primary relationship with one woman and sometimes a third party would be engaged, whether for her or for me, for both my primary relationship and I, we always felt we had one foot out the door with each other. As if we were together, but only in an ephemeral, transitional way. I would suggest to those couples who are considering it, especially the married ones, that such triads often break up the primary couple who allow their partner to sexually interact with others. I've seen it happen to many others.
Also it's not just about sex.
Swinging and open relationships are very different from being poly.
IMHO, The reason that we are all put on this earth is to love and be loved.
It matters not whether ones relationship is polygamous, monogamous, open, polymorphic or whatever.
It matters not whether a person finds themselves hetrosexual, bisexual, sapiosexual, into BDSM or just prefers a mirror so they can see their TRUE love and their right hand.
The one defining feature is love. That is all one can strive for. To give it and receive it.
But then maybe that's just me.
I have no issue with polyamory as long as it's completely consensual and not something someone is forced into because of religion or brainwashing or any other circumstances. And as long as all parties involved are getting what they need 100% without someone completely taking advantage of the situation.
Unfortunately, in my limited experience, it's rare to find a solid polyamorous relationship. Everyone involved goes on and on about how blissful and perfect and advantageous it is, but it's obvious that someone is benefiting from it way more than someone else and is in it for all the wrong reasons.
I've also seen where one of them got sick...and the guy involved was more concerned about having someone to fuck rather than that particular person's health. I've also seen a member of the same group clearly in love with the guy in the situation, and she settled for the polyamorous situation because she knows the only way she can have him is if she shares him. Watching her blind devotion no matter how much he ignores her or dismisses her is just painful. I kind of feel humiliated for her.
I'm not saying all poly relationships are like this, just the few I've encountered. And I know one shouldn't judge from the outside looking in, but it's easier to make observations when you're not directly involved in a situation. And you can kind of tell when someone is saying they're in a blissful poly relationship just to convince themselves that they are.
It's not my cup of tea, and I know it's never something that would work for me. One-on-one relationships can get messy enough without adding others to the mix.
Of course all of this can apply to a monogamous relationship. You never really know what you're getting into until you've been there, but I digress.
To date, I've never seen a poly relationship where there was one woman and several men involved...it's always been the other way around. That's always been mind boggling to me.
But to each his (or her) own.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
I love this discussion about polyamory. I know it is difficult for many to see your wife or husband loving someone else. Love should never be jealous. I read a book called Spiritual Polyamory and I've been posting quotes from this book on my profile. Here are some more important quotes:
"The possessive mentality permeates the planet. It seems that many people are questioning the possessive mentality that leads to wars over the possession of land. There is often a correlation between a society’s laws about the ownership of women and their tendency to exhibit aggressive, war-like actions. I believe that as we release ourselves from the possession that taints our individual relationships, a more peaceful planet will emerge...... When you go beyond codependence, you will find your true self. You will know that you are able to give and receive love without conditions. You will still set boundaries and take care of yourself, but you will no longer be a prisoner to “needing” another person to act a certain way for your happiness..... Polyamory is a philosophy that is about non-possessive love. Embracing this philosophy is non-quantitative and arises from a desire to experience the giving and receiving of love without conditions." (Life, Mystic (2003-12-21). Spiritual Polyamory Kindle Edition.)
I believe what he is saying because I have experienced it myself. One should never put a limit on love.
I've been involved in numerous poly relationships with people of both sexes when I was married. They can be highly erotic and a lot of fun, but they can also become a juggling act as well. Also, some folks who say they want to be involved in a poly relationship in the end really can't handle it. And that can causes problems for all parties involved. So, my advice is, be sure you know what you're asking for, as you may get exactly that and not like it in the end.
I'm so excited!
