So, I'm sure some of you read my previous thread (Is it sad that I take my personal life and put it up here for random people to criticize?)
I know time is the only real way you can get over someone, I'm just looking for a way to speed things up, you know? Kick it up a notch.
1. Delete, throw away, or just hide all memories of them. Photos, things he/she left at yours etc. Delete them from facebook if necessary to get rid of the temptation to stalk their page and then cry over the photos of him/her
2. Get out the house and do something. Go out with mate, start a new hobby etc, anything, so that you're not sitting around bored and lonely and then finding your mind drifting to them.
After that, its really just a matter of time. There is no set amount of time for you to get over someone (i still dont think im over my first bf), it takes however long it takes but it will happen
MMonroe named all the best points.
Avoid all contact with this person until you have perspective. Never attempt to do the "let's be friends" thing until time has passed and there are no residual feelings left there at all. Everyone needs a cooling-off period because most break-ups are not mutual decisions that both people are totally ok with right from the beginning.
I usually indulge in going out a lot, alcohol, hanging with friends, taking a vacation (mainly escapist things) until I have things better sorted out in my head.
As MMonroe said... distractions are great... start a new hobby, get a new pet, write that book you always wanted to, take up kickboxing...
The point is to just distract yourself enough until you feel normal again.
MMonroe and Dancing_Doll made excellent points!
There is absolutely no set amount of time it takes a person to get over someone they loved. It can, unfortunately, be a lifelong process and even years after the fact it's irritating more than anything when a certain somebody crosses your mind. All I can say is that you really need a good support system.
Having someone distract you from your slump is a huge help because most often we are our own worst enemies!
You need to take the time you need to heal and realize that you did the best you could. You were honest with yourself and your emotions and try to not have any regrets. Never blame yourself for another person's reasons for ending a relationship, because they obviously had theirs. And really, who wants to be with someone else who clearly isn't as invested in the relationship as your are?
It's important to realize your self worth and that it's the other persons loss - because, gosh darn, you're quite the catch!
First you must have a good support system, like family, and true blue friends. Realize that it takes time to heal, and be honest with yourself and your emotions. Plus never blame yourself for his shortcoming, or behavior. Like my soon to be ex, he isn’t worth it. As the old saying, “One cannot fix stupid.” He is so far from that he is pathetic. He also preys on women who are disabled, and look need--I am disabled, not dead not needy! But oh boy did he put on a good act, had me hook line and sinker, until he turned abusive, then I called it quits. Time will heal all wounds they say I'm just not sure they will heal mine! Having some great friends does help, and admitting life happens, deal with it, and move on. Realize your own self worth, and its there loss, and you a unique individual, well worth someone’s love, and one day, you will find it, just be patient. Geez I sound like my mother. LOL
I agree with Kandikiss 51. At the moment I'm being the 'good friend' two several women who's ex's have been totally awful (even sawing toilet roll holders in half - yes you heard right!) and have done a fantastic job in making them feel totally worthless. Wish I knew the answer but I think you need to do something major to demonstrate to yourself that you have moved on from the relationship. Choose something that could never do while you were in the relationship and do it. For me it was to learn how to dance argentine tango. I hope that is helpful.
Just read what I wrote and had an 'oh shit that came out wrong' moment. I should explain that it was their partners who made them feel totally worthless, not me!
never appoint a "go between" person do the talking for you. have friends that actualy care, and glass of wine is not bad.
I suggest yu take a bit of philosophical approach , give a deep thought that If you love, you will know that everything begins and everything ends, and there is a time for beginning and there is a time for ending, and there is no wound in it, One is not wounded or hurt, one simply knows the season is over, you shud not be in despair, just understand and Thank your spouse , for she gave you so many beautiful gifts,she gave you new visions of life, she opened a few windows which you might never have opened on your own.
Now the time has come to separate and your ways part,not in anger, not in rage, not with a grudge, not with any complaint, but with tremendous gratitude, with great love, with thankfulness in the heart.
If you know how to love, you will know how to separate and move forward
