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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 332,049
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I am a shy, person and I am wanting to try and build my confidence up with someone that I probably won't meet again and won't have any issues with if the date isn't very good and I was recommended an escort agency. Does anybody have any tips on confidence or whether this will be a good idea in order to build some. Any help would be appreciated as this is something I am finding a problem as I am growing up.
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 9,562
Location: Cakeland, United States
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I fail to see how paying an escort for a date is going to boost the self confidence of the person who is doling out money for services rendered. However, the true make or break would be if you were to try your own hand at becoming an escort. Again though, that would be a drastic option if you are truly suffering from lack of confidence. Rejection could tip you over an edge you may be teetering on already.  How about just going out and mingling in public locations at first with people who you are not paying to be in your company and they aren't paying you to visit them. Building real and lasting self confidence is a gradual, layering kind of thing, I have found.
 The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
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no no and no
if u pay..you will never know what works and what does not
have to agree with wellmade...start asking and mingling even if it is with girls who are your buddies
let them help you
not escorts..ok
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 9/25/2012
Posts: 29
Location: United Kingdom
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No, no and thrice no! The chance of getting more than a false smile from someone who in truth is only there to put food on their table or drugs in their arm is meaningless.
I would recommend that instead you go onto an online dating site. The majority of both men and woman on there are going to be just as nervous and apprehensive as you say you are. Invite 100 people out for a high street coffee. At least one will gladly accept.
Keep in mind that anyone and everyone will do, you are not looking for a relationship you are just aiming to discover what it is like to meet and chat. Prepare by planning 3 or 4 open ended questions for the times that conversation dries up. I guarantee that by the time you have done this ten times with ten different partners not only will you feel more confident but you will have met some great individuals and drunk loads of good coffee.
Let us know how you get on
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Rank: Brawling Berserker
Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,404
Location: Not on your radar, Norway
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For the love of God and every person who lacks confidence NO! How could an escort boost your confidence? It's not someone that's there because they find you interesting or good looking, they'll stick with you because you are paying them. Where's the confidence boost in that? Go out and meet people and talk with people who are there because they want to talk to you, not because you pay them. What's even worse you might up ending really liking the guy and you become a regular. Suddenly you're in love while he just sees you at another customer. Whoever recommended it to you should get slapped for being an idiot.
Lush has added a new feature! This link allows you to see who has viewed your profile lately and who might be interested in you. Please click it and give feedback for improving the site :)
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,076
Location: Canada
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Thank God I'm not the only one that thinks this is such a bad idea. Seriously, confidence comes from within not from others. Period. Using an escort service is just wrong on so many levels especially for someone in your situation. Are you needing confidence in your abilities in the bedroom or just in being able to carry a conversation? Maybe I'm not fully understanding what kind of confidence you're looking for. I agree with everyone on here, abandon the whole escort idea and think about engaging more with real people in real life whatever that may be for you - friends, church group, recreational activity, online dating etc. I think being on Lush is a huge step forward and getting more involved in the forums and chatrooms but also being selective about who you friend and chat with can really help in many ways! Good luck!!
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 332,049
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There is a huge difference between an escort and a street whore, depending on the escort. There are many escorts that do just that, escort you for a night out on the town. Why would that option be so terrible? Look at it this way. Sometimes, folks are truly shy and out of touch with face to face interaction. Just because you pay someone for their time doesn't mean it will be a successful date. They are people too. I don't think the escort idea is bad at all. I don't think this is necessarily about sex as much as it is about the confidence that can be built by a practice run for dating. Escorts are there for a reason just as whores are there for their reason. A true professional can take a huge stress load off of a date. If you are honest with him/her about why you are inquiring about their service they can be a true help with confidence.
Oh, I charge $150.00 an hour with a two hour minimum. Anything else that happens is between two consenting adults and should not be considered as payment for sexual favors.
Irish.
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Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 9,090
Location: My Tower, United States
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did no one else notice that that OP has a link on their bio for an escort service? shy my ass. :)
 Blondie's been itching to share another adventure sometime soon...
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 11/13/2012
Posts: 364
Location: Columbia, United States
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Not no, but HELL NO!!!!!! Escorts are designed to make you feel good about yourself and that doesn't really do a person justice. I'd rather have a plain jane telling me what she likes and doesn't like. Besides the fake oohs and ahhhs from an escort doesn't do it for me.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/17/2012
Posts: 641
Location: London, Canada
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Okay, I've been there and done that. No, it will not boost your confidence but that's not what you'd be going for either, I hope. For me, it was more or less a desperate attempt to get through a sexual dry spell.
Bill and his daughter-in-law Becky relieve each other's sexual frustrations with a steamy summer affair Frustration and Relief
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Rank: Constant Gardener
Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 9,562
Location: Cakeland, United States
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sprite wrote:did no one else notice that that OP has a link on their bio for an escort service? shy my ass. :)  Good catch
The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 10,777
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
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sprite wrote:did no one else notice that that OP has a link on their bio for an escort service? shy my ass. :) Funny how the OP disappeared after he/she was caught too!!! Well at least he/she didnt claim to be a shy 18yo lesbian from Canada!! LOL
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 332,049
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sprite wrote:did no one else notice that that OP has a link on their bio for an escort service? shy my ass. :) Well aren't you on your game today..LOL I'm going to have to remember to check those damn Bios before I post. Nice heads up... Irish
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 9/25/2012
Posts: 29
Location: United Kingdom
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sprite wrote:did no one else notice that that OP has a link on their bio for an escort service? shy my ass. :) Well spotted Sprite - they said you were good!!
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Rank: Moderator at large
Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 3,045
Location: Dublin, Ire., Ireland
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SamBrown wrote:
Well spotted Sprite - they said you were good!!
They fucking lied.... (OH! You meant in a Professional way... I DON'T mean in a professional, sex-worker like way, I meant in a moderator-y way, I mean I meant.... Oh I've totally fucked this msg up.....) xx Steph.
"The problem is that I've never embraced my eccentricity in the way that it has embraced me..." "That sounds terribly self-important." "My point exactly..."xx SF
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