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"I Am Adam Lanza's Mother" Options · View
Guest
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 6:07:31 PM

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Worth the read. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html

Here's a bit of it.
Quote:
Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan -- they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.
VanGogh
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 7:17:08 PM

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I read this "lovely" article .... it has a false title, as the story is of a woman who has a child that has mental illness that produces rage.

Talk about cashing in on using the name Lanza.

This story is NOT about Adam Lanza's mother or her situation with her son.

This is what is wrong with the US media! Disgusting. It' should have been titled "My Dealing with a Child with Mental Illness".



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CurlyGirly
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 7:53:08 PM

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PersonalAssistant wrote:
I read this "lovely" article .... it has a false title, as the story is of a woman who has a child that has mental illness that produces rage.

Talk about cashing in on using the name Lanza.

This story is NOT about Adam Lanza's mother or her situation with her son.

This is what is wrong with the US media! Disgusting. It' should have been titled "My Dealing with a Child with Mental Illness".



That's interesting. When I saw that 'I am Adam's Mother' was in quotes, I immediately knew it was NOT written by his mother. I guess everyone didn't read it that way. Because it was in quotes, I assumed it meant she wasn't his mother sort of how you put "lovely" in quotes when, I think, you were attempting to be ironic. Isn't that what they call a scare quote?? dontknow

"Thank you for pointing out what is wrong with the US media." thumbup

After reading the article, I can't imagine going through life being afraid of my child and not being able to get him or her help and to have an escape plan to keep your other children safe. What a horrible situation. I can't imagine how helpless and hopeless she feels. angry7



It won a potato. Aren't you intrigued?



Ruthie
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 8:31:27 PM

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This is from the article: "I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness."

The woman wasn't using Adam Lanza's or his mother's name for personal gain or to fool people into reading the article. She was trying to make a point about how hard it is to get help for mental illness in this country. It's very easy to get a gun. It's not so easy to get help when you're a single mother with a child who has a mental illness.
Buz
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 9:03:10 PM

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We must consider how much violent video games and movies influence our culture. Certainly graphic violence is shown in extreme realism and glorified by Hollywood. And it could be argued that the media glorifies the sick psychotic killers. They certainly endow them enormous fame.

tazznjazz
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 9:06:22 PM

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I have friends who have a son who is mentally unbalanced and they have had a very difficult time finding help for him. He came from a loving two parent home. Both parents are well educated and professional, he a social worker and her a teacher and have better resourses then most for finding help and they had a very hard time finding help.

Imagine what it's like for a single or low income parent.

Aside from that, the fact that Ms. Lanza had assault weapons in her house makes you question HER sanity.

The facts are not clear yet, but this seems the definition of insane to have such weapons let alone take a disturbed boy to a firing range.Nutbag
Kitanica
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 9:23:57 PM

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Buz wrote:
We must consider how much violent video games and movies influence our culture. Certainly graphic violence is shown in extreme realism and glorified by Hollywood. And it could be argued that the media glorifies the sick psychotic killers. They certainly endow them enormous fame.


I reiterate: violent video games have never been shown to cause violence, have never been linked to violence. there's not a single definitive study showing otherwise. same with movies, books, plays and other forms of art and self expression protected by the first amendment.
MrNudiePants
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 9:38:34 PM

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tazznjazz wrote:


Aside from that, the fact that Ms. Lanza had assault weapons in her house makes you question HER sanity.



Why? Does the fact that I have rifles that are the mechanical equal to hers make me insane? Does the fact that I have rifles that are far more powerful than hers make me insane? Or does it make me a sportsman and a hobbyist who is into outdoor activities?

Guest
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 9:43:17 PM

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I stated in other forums this kid had some type of mental illness. I have heard a personality disorder tody i heard azpergers syndrome. To me both are highly unlikely. I was a psychiatric music therapist prior to going into education. I did not go of my own free will but was forc due to the state doing away with my position becasue it was no longer needed. In La. we now have 2 state run mental facillities. the closest to New Orleans is 160 miles away. The other a little farther. tell me where if you have a problem like this do you go for help. We now do psych. treatment by comittee, but we will spend millions to treat addicts who really show no desire to change. Before anyone gets bent out of shape I am in recovery so I know you have to make that decision yourself noone can make it for you. I believe this young man was a budding schizoprenic and for those who have ever had a family member with that type of disorder they will scare you to death at times. The action was certainly a psychotic act and not the work of a simpe personaity disorder or simple depression who would in most cases take any aggression out on themselves. Garza while it hasnt been proven and you are correct it hasnt been, i truly do believe the media ppl are exposed to can have a negative effect on behavior if they have a tendency to not separate reality from fantasy. We can show a buiding getting blown up with ppl jumping from windows or a drive-by with blood and gore and guts all over the place but God forbit we light a cigareete in a movie now that would be the end of civilization as we know it. We keep trying to over simplify things it aint that simple.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 9:48:29 PM

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Tazz are you aware that Sanity is not even a medical term its a strict legal term? This just in a State rep. was questioned and he stated that in Louisiana supposedly a backward state (where I live and woud never leave) that a 20 year old would not even be able to get a permit so the the lawy wouldnot apply and there are already laws in place for this. Someone who wants to commit a crime will find a way. Mass Murder of any kind is not a normal crime again this was a psychotic act. If you were gonna kill yourself would you let a LAW stop you. Any type of suicide is illegal just trying to make a point. This is sad and we obviously have no idea of how to even start to solve it.
tazznjazz
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 10:04:07 PM

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MrNudiePants wrote:


Why? Does the fact that I have rifles that are the mechanical equal to hers make me insane? Does the fact that I have rifles that are far more powerful than hers make me insane? Or does it make me a sportsman and a hobbyist who is into outdoor activities?


If you grant assault weapons access to a mentally challenged person or even have them in your house around an unbalanced family member, not only are you insane, but also partly responsible for their actions.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, December 16, 2012 10:20:54 PM

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Sorry tazz i misunderstood i agree you dont give the opportuinty to an unbalnced person like giving a fifth to an alcholic
Guest
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 7:34:50 AM

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CurlyGirly wrote:


That's interesting. When I saw that 'I am Adam's Mother' was in quotes, I immediately knew it was NOT written by his mother. I guess everyone didn't read it that way. Because it was in quotes, I assumed it meant she wasn't his mother sort of how you put "lovely" in quotes when, I think, you were attempting to be ironic. Isn't that what they call a scare quote?? dontknow

"Thank you for pointing out what is wrong with the US media." thumbup

After reading the article, I can't imagine going through life being afraid of my child and not being able to get him or her help and to have an escape plan to keep your other children safe. What a horrible situation. I can't imagine how helpless and hopeless she feels. angry7


You can almost feel her anguish in that article. If I had just put the title of the thread as a mentally unbalanced mother speaks out, no one would have read or cared. This got the attention that she needs. Man, I hope she gets help. Can you imagine how the other children feel and what it must be like for them growing up in this household?
scooter
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 7:51:17 AM

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I've pretty much decided I'm not going to bash or blame anybody. Laws, types of weapons, or school policies.

I only wish; I could of helped this poor youngster.

scooter
Guest
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 7:54:31 AM

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This story is NOT about Adam Lanza's mother or her situation with her son."

why not stick with the facts, are they not wierd enough.
ByronLord
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 8:11:56 AM

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Buz wrote:
We must consider how much violent video games and movies influence our culture. Certainly graphic violence is shown in extreme realism and glorified by Hollywood. And it could be argued that the media glorifies the sick psychotic killers. They certainly endow them enormous fame.


I agree. But what is to be done about them?

Like films, it is not the games themselves that are the problem, it is the people who act out the scenarios. And the reason they can act out the scenarios in the US is they they have access to the guns.

Other countries have not had anything like the problem with guns that the US does. 30,000 murders with guns each year. No European country averages above about 50 a year.

lafayettemister
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 8:15:38 AM

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CoopsRuthie wrote:
This is from the article: "I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness."

The woman wasn't using Adam Lanza's or his mother's name for personal gain or to fool people into reading the article. She was trying to make a point about how hard it is to get help for mental illness in this country. It's very easy to get a gun. It's not so easy to get help when you're a single mother with a child who has a mental illness.


This.

The lady that wrote this was speaking metaphorically when she says "I am Adam Lanza's mother" All of us with children, and even those without, can empathize with the parents that lost children in this horrific tragedy. We can easily see ourselves as the mothers and fathers of these innocent children that were killed. This woman can easily see herself as the mother of these murderers. When these tragedies happen, she must look at the killer and say to herself, "that could be my kid".

How hard it must be to look at your own child and see the potential for evil? Or the the capability of a massacre? This woman is brave, she's doing what no mother would want to do. She's locking up her own kid in order to protect YOUR kid and MY kid. At the expense of her own peace of mind. She's taking a danger off the streets, putting him somewhere that will keep her awake at night wondering how he's being treated. But she's not going to let other parents bury their own kid because of violence commited by her's. Because it's the RIGHT thing to do.

I have no idea why there seems to be more "insane/mentally despondent/physcologically unbalanced" people in the world. Is it the same percentage but we have so many more poeple? Don't know. But somehow we need to make it ok for parents to seek help when they see danger in the own kids.

If we see our neighbors or coworkers commit her son to a mental institution, would we judge her? "What a horrible mother to do that to her own kid", we'd say. "How can she just throw away her own kid like that" "I can't believe she just abandoned him like that."

Until we make real mental health not have that kind of stigma, this kind of shit will continue to happen. We can talk about gun control all we want. It is said the the biggest sexual organ in the human body is the brain. No matter how big a guy's dick is, his brain is what seduces a woman. The same logic applies here, whatever is wrong in a person's brain that allows him to even consider acts such as these, is what needs to be studied and understood.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
ByronLord
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 8:17:10 AM

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MrNudiePants wrote:


Why? Does the fact that I have rifles that are the mechanical equal to hers make me insane? Does the fact that I have rifles that are far more powerful than hers make me insane? Or does it make me a sportsman and a hobbyist who is into outdoor activities?

Yes it does.

ByronLord
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 8:25:36 AM

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Garza wrote:


I reiterate: violent video games have never been shown to cause violence, have never been linked to violence. there's not a single definitive study showing otherwise. same with movies, books, plays and other forms of art and self expression protected by the first amendment.


Violent video games do not seem to increase violent behavior for the typical person. But the whole gun control debate isn't about the typical person. It is the small number who are violent and mentally ill.

I don't think that the militaristic styling of guns like the Bushmaster leads people to go on rampages either, not by itself.

But put the whole package together, a person with a violent predisposition, a video game in which the hero goes shooting down opponents and in the real world body armor that makes the player feel invulnerable and a gun that makes them feel like they are in the game.

It is that package that is the problem. We are certainly not going to be controlling video games before we control guns. But the video games certainly fuel the gun-nut culture.

The problem is not the fantasy, the problem is the gun-nut industry and their enablers who are trying to erase all boundaries between the fantasy and real life.

WellMadeMale
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 10:04:15 AM

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Gunman's Mother kept trials of home life hidden.

The almost complete lack of services or assistance for the mentally ill in America is a root cause of many of these shooting rampages. And that affects everyone. It is more important that we fund wars around the globe, than it is that we try to assist ourselves at home.

NEWTOWN, Conn. -- At the bar, everybody knew her name.

Nancy Lanza was the one who, if she heard you were short on cash, regularly offered to pick up the tab at My Place.

Two or three nights a week, Lanza - the mother of the gunman in Connecticut's horrific school massacre - came in for carryout salads, but stayed for Chardonnay and good humor. The divorced mother of two - still smooth-skinned and ash blonde at 52 - clearly didn't have to work, but was always glad to share talk of her beloved Red Sox, gardening and a growing enthusiasm for target shooting.

But while Lanza spoke proudly about her sons and brought them in for breakfast when they were younger, friends say she held one card very close: home life, especially its trials and setbacks, was off limits.

Now, the secrets Lanza kept are at the center of the questions that envelop this New England town, grieving over the slaughter unleashed by her 20-year-old son Adam, who investigators say killed his mother Friday with one of her own guns before murdering 26 children and teachers at a nearby school.

"Her family life was her family life. She kept it private, when we were together. That was her own thing," said Louise Tambascio, who runs the warmly lit pizzeria and bar with her own sons, and became a shopping and dining companion of Nancy Lanza's.


<continued @ link>

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Guest
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 10:22:02 AM

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Good find WMM.
Naughty_Nurse
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 11:07:15 AM

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Naughty_Nurse
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 11:09:15 AM

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Garza wrote:
wrote:


I reiterate: violent video games have never been shown to cause violence, have never been linked to violence. there's not a single definitive study showing otherwise. same with movies, books, plays and other forms of art and self expression protected by the first amendment.



Sorry Garza but how can you say that? Ever checked your own words by checking Google for exampledontknow ?
There are many studies which proof there is definitaly a link between violent movies/ games and agressive behaviour/ thoughts.

Here some studies, the 2 last ones are like articles and easy to read, the 1st is a study a bit long, but read the introduction ;) ;

This one is from 2001; http://www.soc.iastate.edu/sapp/VideoGames1.pdf

2010; http://www.ithp.org/articles/violentvideogames.html

2011; http://healthland.time.com/2011/12/02/how-playing-violent-video-games-may-change-the-brain/

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CleverFox
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 12:45:22 PM

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MrNudiePants wrote:


Why? Does the fact that I have rifles that are the mechanical equal to hers make me insane? Does the fact that I have rifles that are far more powerful than hers make me insane? Or does it make me a sportsman and a hobbyist who is into outdoor activities?


How often do you take your high power semi-automatic assault rifles with you for sport shooting like hunting? There can't be much left of the animal when you are done. And what about target shooting? How much of the target is left after you have put 30 rounds through it? Must be difficult to judge how accurate your aim is.
Ruthie
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 3:34:02 PM

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MrNudiePants wrote:


Why? Does the fact that I have rifles that are the mechanical equal to hers make me insane? Does the fact that I have rifles that are far more powerful than hers make me insane? Or does it make me a sportsman and a hobbyist who is into outdoor activities?

ByronLord wrote:

Yes it does.


Well, there's your answer. Logically if having those weapons makes you insane, it is illegal for you to own those kinds of weapons, meaning, of course, that if you do own those kinds of weapons that is prima facie evidence that you are insane and not allowed to own those weapons. Give them up now.
MrNudiePants
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 4:43:25 PM

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tazznjazz wrote:


If you grant assault weapons access to a mentally challenged person or even have them in your house around an unbalanced family member, not only are you insane, but also partly responsible for their actions.


The woman should have locked the firearms up. The fact that she didn't doesn't make her insane. Stupid, maybe. Irresponsible, definitely. Not even a little bit responsible for the acts committed by her son. Or are you going to hold ask parents everywhere responsible for the criminal acts committed by their progeny?

MrNudiePants
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 4:48:31 PM

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CleverFox wrote:


How often do you take your high power semi-automatic assault rifles with you for sport shooting like hunting? There can't be much left of the animal when you are done. And what about target shooting? How much of the target is left after you have put 30 rounds through it? Must be difficult to judge how accurate your aim is.


The fact that you would even ask this tells us that you probably have no experience with hunting, and very little experience with ethical behavior. I don't hunt. All my sport shooting does is make little groups of holes in big pieces of paper. But I'm not against hunting, mostly because I'm aware of the fact that hunters, through the licensing fees they pay, do more to benefit the ecology and conservation efforts than any other interest group in the world.

MrNudiePants
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 4:50:53 PM

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CoopsRuthie wrote:


Well, there's your answer. Logically if having those weapons makes you insane, it is illegal for you to own those kinds of weapons, meaning, of course, that if you do own those kinds of weapons that is prima facie evidence that you are insane and not allowed to own those weapons. Give them up now.


Well hell... I guess I had better go turn myself in. Uh... To whom, exactly, do I turn myself in?

Kitanica
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 5:51:56 PM

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[quote=Naughty_Nurse]


Sorry Garza but how can you say that? Ever checked your own words by checking Google for exampledontknow ?
There are many studies which proof there is definitaly a link between violent movies/ games and agressive behaviour/ thoughts.

Here some studies, the 2 last ones are like articles and easy to read, the 1st is a study a bit long, but read the introduction ;) ;

This one is from 2001; http://www.soc.iastate.edu/sapp/VideoGames1.pdf


so how do you explain the huge explosion in gaming over recent years and a steady decline in violence among youths. With all gaming wouldn't violence be increasing? Only it's not because they dot cause violence.

your 2010 post has absolutely no facts in it. Only speculation and opens with quotes from the 70s. And the 2011 post below seems to discuss desensitization

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Mental_Health_Letter/2010/October/violent-video-games-and-young-people

"•Much of the research on violent video game use relies on measures to assess aggression that don't correlate with real-world violence. Some studies are observational and don't prove cause and effect.

•Federal crime statistics suggest that serious violent crimes among youths have decreased since 1996, even as video game sales have soared."

http://m.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/violent-games-dont-really-beget-violence-20120505-1y5j0.html

so all those "studies" showing increased agressvive brain function don't actually show any real long term affect. it's no different than claiming horror movies breeds cannibals, or trains women to be submissive victims to men in masks, anyone who says that would sound silly. Violent videogame sales up, violent crimes among youths who play said violent video games down. So how do games cause violence? logic would dictate they don't. As many of us who already play videogames already know.

in fact more research and compiled date show that video games may actually reduce violent crimes because these so called "violent gamers" are too busy having fun and being entertained virtually to go out and commit crime in the real world, if that weren't true why isn't violent crime increasing exponentially in correlation to the sale of violent AAA titles purchased by millions.

http://m.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/violent-games-dont-really-beget-violence-20120505-1y5j0.html
CleverFox
Posted: Monday, December 17, 2012 5:56:29 PM

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MrNudiePants wrote:


The fact that you would even ask this tells us that you probably have no experience with hunting, and very little experience with ethical behavior. I don't hunt. All my sport shooting does is make little groups of holes in big pieces of paper. But I'm not against hunting, mostly because I'm aware of the fact that hunters, through the licensing fees they pay, do more to benefit the ecology and conservation efforts than any other interest group in the world.


For what sport do you use your semi-automatic assault rifles? Target practice? Damn, that sounds fucking expensive. Why do you need an assault rifle for target practice? If you want to see how well you can aim, why do you need a clip that holds 30 or more rounds?

That was my point.

I have nothing against hunting. I just know when you hunt having a big high powered semi-automatic assault rifle is useless. These guns aren't used for hunting.

And if you think you are going to use these guns to fight a terranical government, I have bad news for you. They are no good against M-1 tanks, unmanned drones and cruise missiles.

And whom is the "us" to which you refer in your post? You are the only person to which I replied.
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