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How you got interested in BDSM, with questions Options · View
Guest
Posted: Friday, September 09, 2011 2:17:07 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 472,672
How did you get interested in BDSM?
What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?
Where you always submissive?
Where you always dominate?
Where you always switch?
If so how did you come about it?
Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?

just curious! If anyone has anymore questions to add, feel free!!
Guest
Posted: Saturday, September 17, 2011 8:21:37 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 472,672
kittendancer4 wrote:
How did you get interested in BDSM?
What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?
Where you always submissive?
Where you always dominate?
Where you always switch?
If so how did you come about it?
Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?

just curious! If anyone has anymore questions to add, feel free!!


I've had several friends in the scene for years.
I'd had sexual experiences where pain was positive and decided I needed to explore pain as an outlet further.
I think I've always been more of a switch personality wise but a submissive in practice.
Since I was a teen I've been interested in trying expiramentation. For me, it will always be an aspect of play and not a lifestyle. I respect those who carry out the lifestyle but it's not for me.
Red_Dragon
Posted: Saturday, September 17, 2011 8:31:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/4/2011
Posts: 729
Location: Charleston , United States
kittendancer4 wrote:
How did you get interested in BDSM?
What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?
Where you always submissive?
Where you always dominate?
Where you always switch?
If so how did you come about it?
Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?

just curious! If anyone has anymore questions to add, feel free!!


Through friends when I came home from the war. I have always been a dominate personality and i have lived the lifestyle for now almost 38 yrars

charmbrights
Posted: Tuesday, September 20, 2011 8:32:38 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/2/2011
Posts: 192
Location: Tirphil, United Kingdom
kittendancer4 wrote:
How did you get interested in BDSM?
I noticed thatpeople were buying BDSM stories on parts of the internet.

kittendancer4 wrote:
What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?
The thought that I might make money that way.

kittendancer4 wrote:
Where you always submissive?
Never, just greedy for money.

kittendancer4 wrote:
Where you always dominate?
Never, just greedy for money.

kittendancer4 wrote:
Where you always switch?
Never, just greedy for money.

kittendancer4 wrote:
If so how did you come about it?
See above.

kittendancer4 wrote:
Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?
Please do not confuse my marketing policy with my personal predilections.

News of ALL my novels (and where to get free copies) on charmbrights.webs.com/novels.htm.
Princess4Jim
Posted: Tuesday, September 20, 2011 12:07:45 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/15/2011
Posts: 328
Location: In your Fantasy, United States
How did you get interested in BDSM? - A Man I was in a relationship got me into the whole "Spanking" theme, and I did researched online and found out that I was really into the Kink.
What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place? - Spanking for sure, than Rope.
Where you always submissive? - nope not always, I go into Submissive modes at times, but I am more of a switch.
Where you always dominate? - Nope, not always, I go into the Dominate modes at time, but I am more of a switch.
Where you always switch? - Yes, I have always been a switch, for as long as I can remember.
If so how did you come about it? - Not sure.
Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle? - Yes, part of me thinks that I have always been into the Kinky lifestyle. Its who I am I guess (:



LauraLee_sugah
Posted: Sunday, October 16, 2011 11:02:04 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Sweetness

Joined: 9/10/2011
Posts: 2,324
Location: the sweet, sunny south, United States
reading stories got me interested... and i am still trying to figure out how i feel so i am interested in the answers people will share here....

i think i am more of a sub but i do get sassy every now and then.... maybe i need to be spanked... ;-). i also understand myself to know that i am more intrigued by the trust it takes to be a sub than the pain.... the thought of wearing a collar absolutely makes me wet....

sometimes i have to watch....

read my masturbation story, Isla
DLizze
Posted: Sunday, October 16, 2011 1:19:23 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 4/23/2011
Posts: 2,501
I am a true newbie. I like the idea of the trust involved, though. I'd happily wear a collar for the right person. I think I'd like to be a switch - sometimes one wants to submit, but sometimes one wants to be in charge. I am curious about spanking - don't know how much pain I really want, but after a certain level of arousal, a little pain is sexually exquisite. Nipple clamps? Probably - I have tried clothespins on myself, and find them an incredible turn-on. The pain when they come off and the blood rushes back in makes me cum every time.

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
CuriousKitty
Posted: Sunday, March 11, 2012 1:18:26 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/1/2011
Posts: 104
Location: United States
GypsyChild wrote:
How did you get interested in BDSM?
What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?
Where you always submissive?
Where you always dominate?
Where you always switch?
If so how did you come about it?
Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?

just curious! If anyone has anymore questions to add, feel free!!


1) Really started to get curious nearly a year ago after reading Sprite's Mrs. Vandermeer series.

2) The complete and utter trust invovled, the general kinkiness/naughtiness, the ability to give yourself to someone knowing you're in good hands, the list is long.

3) Was always submissive

4) Quickly gave up my sub side (well most,,, . A majority of it) due to necessity so I could be Sprite's Mistress, I don't regret it, not at all.

5) No matter how hard I tried to repress my sub side deep within me in my efforts to be a perfect Mistress, its how I started out and it surfaces sometimes forcing me to be a switch which thankfully my kitty understands.

6) Sprite (sorry but yes I know I mention her almost constantly but anything remotely to do with "BDSM" involves her)

7) Yes
sprite
Posted: Sunday, March 11, 2012 12:01:17 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 13,642
Location: My Tower, United States
Sadly, i have a strange relationship with BDSM that is probably a mixture of unhealthy and healthy. i was introduced by an ex-boyfriend, and oh, i took to it like a fish does to water - sadly, the relationship turned abusive, and there are still some residual effects that i struggle with from time to time because of that.

fortunately, i have two very good minders/handlers, who shepherd me thru in a safe and sane manner these days, and have quelled the darker aspects of my need and it'd done wonders for me outside of the bedroom as well. :)

i have always been submissive. with exceptions. i will switch, within reason, for someone i trust, for the sole reason that recognize that need in them and the need for ME to fill it, to please, is very strong - in a way, it's submission to a role - that said, knowing what a sub needs to intimately, i think i am very good at it, despite the desire to want to apologize at times, for being too cruel. :)

i don't think that i am 'in the lifestyle' like some. i enjoy it with my partner/wife and with my Mistress, but it is not 24/7 thing with me - i thought, at one point in my life, that i needed it to be, but now, i find that while i enjoy it a LOT, i don't think i could ever be a full time slave/sub/pet. i just don't have the personality to go there, perhaps? and lately, i find myself more of a kitteny kind of girl, which is a whole different subject and not at all the same, tho there are certainly overlaps...

TheDevilsWeakness
Posted: Sunday, March 11, 2012 1:55:03 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2011
Posts: 1,270
Location: I'm the girl that your father hoped he could date.
How did you get interested in BDSM?
I was introduced to the lifestyle by a friend, fifteen years ago. I've flitted in and out of the lifestyle since then.

What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?
The closeness, trust and commitment involved.

Were you always submissive?
Yes, but my job and my attitude confuse many and some tend to think of me as more of a dominant when I'm not.
My favorite saying is "I'm a submissive, not a doormat."
I always felt very uncomfortable when asked to switch, but did it for my Dom since they also have needs.

Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?
Yes. Hindsight's 20/20.
Unfortunately, I had an unhealthy and abusive dom/sub relationship for eight years and still have trust issues.
So much so, that I've abandoned the lifestyle for the time being, but I'm missing it.

Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 11, 2012 3:41:18 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 472,672
Lush really opens one's eyes...

I had no idea that there was so much to this sort of thing.

Thanks for making my mind boggle, guys x
MistressS
Posted: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 11:19:17 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 5/31/2011
Posts: 65
My stories on here cover how I got into BDSM, and according to a friend I have always seemed like the Mistress type to him, wish he'd told me sooner, lol.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, August 02, 2012 11:48:48 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 472,672
I found out accidently truthfully when I was about 22 I thought I was A little strange until I was dating a sub and she ask me how long I was a dom didn't know what she meant ,so really she introduced me in the lifestyle and helped me become a better master and domme and I'm always learning even now she helped me understand my urges and things that I had thought were strange or wrong.as I progressed in who I was as a masterand a domme the more submisse she became not because she was just doing it but because I learned how to get her to be more submissive .also some subs misbehave at times just to misbehave and other times to test you to see that your are the masteror domme and sometimes they do it just to be playful and get a fun punishment tooo.
Sensei
Posted: Saturday, August 11, 2012 12:57:02 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/16/2012
Posts: 467
Location: United States
How did you get interested in BDSM?

My first experience with porn was with spanking magazines.

What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?

It's taken me a while to put all of the pieces together, but what it comes down to for me is a combination of leadership and control. It's why my handle here is "Sensei..."

Where you always dominant?

Yes.

Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?

Absolutely. I've spanked every partner I've ever had. I can't imagine being happy in a purely vanilla relationship.

My novel, The Society, is available now in the Kindle Store: http://www.amazon.com/The-Society-ebook/dp/B00BPF9U2I
PookieBooski
Posted: Thursday, August 23, 2012 7:27:36 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/1/2012
Posts: 106
Location: My Room, United States
Guest wrote:
How did you get interested in BDSM?
What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?
Where you always submissive?
Where you always dominate?
Where you always switch?
If so how did you come about it?
Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?

just curious! If anyone has anymore questions to add, feel free!!



I've only had phone sex and used the BDSM attribute, so take mine with a grain of salt.
The thing that attracted me was the bondage, control, and the "punishment".
I used to be strictly dominate, because my boyfriend was very submissive. He knew hardly anything about it. Pretty much, it was all ideas. And he really liked being controlled. Then, one day, he wanted to try it on me. I didn't think I would like it, but it was GREAT, because I could tell he enjoyed it 10x more than usual. I'm a pleasure person; I can't get off unless I know someone else is, too. So, it works. Now, I'm almost always submissive.
I don't understand the last question.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, September 23, 2012 8:06:37 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 472,672
How did you get interested in BDSM? I always got turned on more by the female on female bondage stories than any regular sex story out there.
What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place? I know in my heart how crazy a personality and I think that would more than amplify when I'm especially doing this type of lifestyle

Now to answer the rest of your questions, I've not done anything yet but before I do anything I'll more than likely find people who will mentor me in this lifestyle so that way I won't screw things up, by the way when I do this I will be Dominating because I know I have fun when I'm very controlling
trojan
Posted: Sunday, December 02, 2012 9:18:33 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 9/17/2012
Posts: 7
Location: United States
How did you get interested in BDSM? - Have always been facsinated with bondage and restraint even as a teenager, not sure why?

What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place? - It started with the damsel-in-distress scenarios (like on those old 80's TV shows) that first grabbed my attention long before I knew what any of that was even when I had no idea what dom/submission was. As for the dom/sub pat, the attraction for me is the romance and the trust, built up in the foreplay

Where you always submissive? - Always had submissive "tendancies" in the bedroom, at least. Plus, there is just something so sexy and erotic about pleasing her, and seeing the desire and pleasure within her.

Where you always dominate? - Only by nature of my job as a military officer, but outside of work I'm laid back and care free unless a serious (i.e. life-or-death) scenario presents itself so it's not in my blood by nature, unless it has to be.

Where you always switch? - I'd say I'm something of a 90% sub/10% dom

If so how did you come about it? - Just something that developed over time, and gradually but slightly increased in strength

Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle? - Again, it started early with me so maybe. I like the variety; sometimes dom, sometimes sub, sometimes vanilla. All depends on the time and place and scenario!

Bonus question: What have you learned about it and what do you like the most? - I have to say, what I love the most about it, is discovering my own likes and dislikes as well as those of my playmate. Gently pushing each other's boundaries and limits, exploring what my partner wants. Most of all, watching my playmate grow in discovery and confidence. I think there is a certain somebuny here who knows exactly what I mean! ;)
slutbunny
Posted: Monday, December 03, 2012 5:22:06 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 11/25/2012
Posts: 1
How did you get interested in BDSM? - I met a man who told me he had submissive tendencies, so I did some research. It was fascinating, exciting, sometimes scary, but always fascinating.

What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place? - I wasn't aware that I was attracted to it until I started delving into it. I think the most attractive part is the trust involved. The responsibility that you assume when engaging in either taking control of someone or giving over control of yourself.

Where you always submissive? - Never really thought so. I do like a man who can be slightly aggressive in bed, but not too much so. Not too rough, but some.

Where you always dominate? - Again, I didn't think so, but am finding that I get aroused by being the aggressor.

Where you always switch? - I think this is mostly where I fall. A give and take of power and control. With the right person, with trust, it can be a heady experience.

If so how did you come about it? - Hmmmm, always with the one that introduced me to this, depending on our mood and where the evening takes us.

Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle? - No, but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to explore.

Bonus question: What have you learned about it and what do you like the most? - I'm still learning and it's all very new to me. I would say what I like the most is finding someone that you can trust enough to be that vulnerable, open and honest with.
Daddyskitten
Posted: Monday, December 03, 2012 8:11:43 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 6/10/2010
Posts: 45
Location: Austin, United States
Guest wrote:
How did you get interested in BDSM?
What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?
Where you always submissive?
Where you always dominate?
Where you always switch?
If so how did you come about it?
Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?

just curious! If anyone has anymore questions to add, feel free!!


I was drawn to from some kink stories one of my friends told me, i found them arousing and when i looked into finding more stories like that i found bdsm sites and started learning.

Yes I am always a submissive. It is my nature.

No, never, except with other sub females. I will take lead if i am allowed. I prefer it. I hate having other females trying to tell me what to do.

No i have never been a switch

I can't say i was born for this lifestyle but i was certainly raised in a way that made it likely. I enjoy a dominate man's touch and the forcefulness of his will. That's the way i think it should be. Men leading with women in a supportive role. I think its easier on both sex's that way. I know there are some who would disagree and that's fine. this is just my experience and my opinion.

PhareDuFour
Posted: Tuesday, December 04, 2012 11:11:12 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 10/23/2012
Posts: 57
Location: United Kingdom
Guest wrote:
How did you get interested in BDSM?

I was seduced. ;)

Quote:
What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?

My Dominate had a very charismatic, intelligent and fascinating personality.

Quote:
Where you always submissive?

Yes, but I was completely unaware of it.

Quote:
If so how did you come about it?

I am not really sure I understand this question.

Quote:
Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the Lifestyle?

I believe so, because when I was "vanilla" was was fatally attracted to narcissists, which spelled out bad relationships every time. Now that I enjoy the stable structure of the Lifestyle, I no longer get into lop-sided relationships anymore.


Si vos postulo me, sed non vis me, oportet me manere.
Sed si vis me, sed non vos postulo me, oportet me abire.
MdeSade64
Posted: Tuesday, December 04, 2012 11:31:07 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/12/2012
Posts: 7,054
Location: United States
How did you get interested in BDSM?

I found myself stimulated when I saw girls struggling. Eventually, I found cartoons and magazines about the topic. Long before there was the Internet. Movies on the topic were not available to me growing up in Montreal.

What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?

Like Trojan the damsel in distress hit me in a very different way. I didn't really understand the impact. I can still remember a movie where the heroine is tied to a stake by the Indians and the squaws are sharpening wooden stakes that they used to poke her.

Where you always submissive?

Never been a submissive.

Where you always dominate?

Most definitely. I used to tease the girl who delivered our newspapers. She would struggle as I captured her wrists and held them behind her back. This made her writhing more pronounced and I could hold her hard against me. We never did anything else just a teenage form of frotage. Don't think either of us really understood what was happening.

Where you always switch?

Never.

If so how did you come about it?

N/A

Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?

Oh yes. I have had many partners who would have run screaming at the suggestion of BDSM, but were willing partners in the way in which we played our games. Trust is paramount. Without it it is abuse and/or rape depending on how it evolves.
lovelykrys24
Posted: Monday, December 10, 2012 11:38:46 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 12/7/2012
Posts: 4
i found out i liked bdsm a long time ago. one of my first bfs got me into it. he was real ruff at first and it was exciting and then we started experamenting. i loved being the sub, always new i was. just recently i found i like the power of being in conrol however i like sub more but def a switch :)
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, December 19, 2012 1:56:25 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 472,672
How did you get interested in BDSM? I had always been curious, but it came up in a conversation with my best friend one afternoon and I discovered he was a Dominant and had been for quite some time... something I hadn't known until that point. I became his Submissive and since then I've been interested, he was my first Dominant and really very good to me. :) I started reading E. L. James's Fifty Shades Trilogy recently and that only deepened my excitement with the lifestyle.

What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place? I always thought it was so beautiful how a Submissive could trust her Dominant SO COMPLETELY that she could surrender herself entirely to him. That's such an intense, passionate relationship and it requires so much trust - I love that, it's like the ultimate commitment.

Were you always submissive? I started out as a Submissive (don't we all), and that's where I gained the majority of my experience, I learned a lot from those I was personally involved with and they helped me to get where I am today. I didn't start playing around in the Dominant field until fairly recently, with my first Submissive, Tayler.

Were you always dominate? Nope, I started out as a Submissive, became more Dominant recently and enjoy playing around with it... but I'll always be a natural - born Submissive. :) It's what I do best. <3

Were you always switch? Didn't start out that way, but I feel comfortably referring to myself as a Switch now. :)

Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle? Yes, I've always had an interest in it, but reading doesn't do it justice - it's just something you have to experience for yourself. :)
kylie_kained
Posted: Wednesday, December 19, 2012 4:03:58 PM

Rank: Detention Seeker

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 994
Location: Over your Knee Screaming and Kicking!, United King
How did you get interested in BDSM?
What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?
Where you always submissive?
Where you always dominate?
Where you always switch?
If so how did you come about it?
Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?

By watching films and reading magazines.
I found it erotic at first and also curious.
Yes.
No.
I now sometimes switch but this is a new discovery.
A friend wanted to see what things were like from a sub's side.
It has been my lifestyle all my life and no regrets.
















davie
Posted: Thursday, December 20, 2012 9:30:46 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 6/16/2009
Posts: 51
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
Help!! I had never really been interested in BDSM until recently. I had been going out with a new girlfriend for just over a month. I though our sex life was pretty good until one night she introduced nipple clamps to our foreplay. Then she asked me to use a whip on her, I was reluctant but I used in on her then she asked me to let her do it to me. I agreed and I was surprised that I enjoyed it and the sex that night was fantastic. She does not seem to be interested in any other aspect of BDSM except the inflicting of pain on each other. Now she wants to take things further and I am concerned it will go to far. I do enjoy it, something that I never thought I would. Is this normal in BDSM and how far should I take it. What should I do?
steven6969
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 3:30:07 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/18/2012
Posts: 22
Location: northampton, United Kingdom
How did you get interested in BDSM?
an ex girlfriend

What factor of it attracted you to it in the first place?
found her even more horny when i tied her to the bed and grew from there

Where you always submissive?
like being the dom but do have times when i am submissive

Where you always dominate?
do enjoy beging the dom and have always swayed towards dom

Where you always switch?

If so how did you come about it?
Do you think you were always into it now that you are in the lifestyle?
tes can be part of life and spice it up alot
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