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The real reason why girls don't voice chat/voice message with online programs? Options · View
molotov
Posted: Friday, December 28, 2012 9:02:30 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/6/2011
Posts: 6
Location: Canada
Allow me to add some context before I pose my questions please.

I'm new to actually being a participant in Lush and to the type of site that it is, but not to sharing intimate ideas, experiences, and fantasies. In the past, I've done that with females after i've already met them in person through everyday activities. So, the sharing has been done over the phone, msn/skype voice messages, and even via text. I have found that naughty sharing via voice (either messages or real time) is much more interesting, intimate, and powerful than by typing. The girls all agree.

So, my questions are:
1. Why is their no voice messaging built into lush? Is it just a matter of bandwidth cost?
2. Why are girls online who enjoy naughty typing, so reluctant to voice chat/voice message via programs like msn/skype?

I get that people are, and should be, reluctant to give out phone numbers (don't do it!), but with the ability to easily block/delete people, and to remain anonymous, why not use skype or msn, etc? Actually, I feel a lot safer after I hear someones voice as it lets me know who i'm dealing with better.

Answers appreciated. Thanks.
trinket
Posted: Friday, December 28, 2012 11:17:24 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 10,001
Location: Nowhere near you, Bahamas
I won't voice chat or cam with anyone from lush because that part of me is something I'm not willing to share here. Once I know someone fairly well (as well as you can know them here) I don't mind sharing a picture. Twice, I have had a voice conversation with someone here, but only because I had been 'chatting' with them for a few months, I felt comfortable enough to do so and there was no cam.

This isn't my 'real life', it's fantasy.. If people are a part of my real life they get to speak to, and see the real me. In a fantasy world, I don't want to share ALL of me.

molotov
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 12:29:07 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/6/2011
Posts: 6
Location: Canada
Trinket wrote:
This isn't my 'real life', it's fantasy.. If people are a part of my real life they get to speak to, and see the real me. In a fantasy world, I don't want to share ALL of me.


You have an interesting view that I hadn't thought of before: "Typing is fantasy, voice chatting is real." So, a voice makes the other person more real/too real? I guess I can see that continuum.

I wonder if this helps reduce the potential anxiety some females (not suggesting you) may feel about participating on Lush; if it's "fantasy," it's not cheating, or it's not really promiscuous, etc?
girlsetfree
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 4:12:36 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 11/23/2012
Posts: 25
Location: West Berkshire, United Kingdom
In principal I don't have a problem with voice chating to a well established friend on here, but the problem is a practical one.

Lush is my secret, I will often be type chatting on-line when others are in the house, so silence is needed......
Naughty_Nurse
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 7:16:56 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/29/2012
Posts: 587
Location: Netherlands
Although I have a big mouth....I'm just shy/ insecure...english is not my 1th language so the 'risk' that i sound funny or stumble over my own words is a bit too high hahaha...
But I like to try it out one day with 1 person I have on my mind ;).
I have tried to fix the microphone on my laptop, but I also can't get it working, so I guess it's just fine for this moment....

And I prefer to chat (without camming) by skype, lush freezez so often....

Monica's Birthday turns into an unexpected family orgy
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/incest/monicas-birthday-turns-into-an.aspx

Scott learns all about oral sex from his Nurse
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/oral-sex/scott-learns-all-about-oral-sex-from.aspx
trinket
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 7:35:00 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 10,001
Location: Nowhere near you, Bahamas
molotov wrote:


You have an interesting view that I hadn't thought of before: "Typing is fantasy, voice chatting is real." So, a voice makes the other person more real/too real? I guess I can see that continuum.

I wonder if this helps reduce the potential anxiety some females (not suggesting you) may feel about participating on Lush; if it's "fantasy," it's not cheating, or it's not really promiscuous, etc?



It's not that a voice chat makes the other person real or too real, it's how it makes ME feel, that I'm giving too much of myself to the person behind the screen. There is already the potential to become too attached to people here on lush so personally, I don't want to increase the chances of that happening to me by trading too much personal information, if that makes sense.

Dudealicious
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 7:49:51 AM

Rank: Wise Ass

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,340
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
Trinket wrote:



It's not that a voice chat makes the other person real or too real, it's how it makes ME feel, that I'm giving too much of myself to the person behind the screen. There is already the potential to become too attached to people here on lush so personally, I don't want to increase the chances of that happening to me by trading too much personal information, if that makes sense.



So was it out of your comfort zone when you mailed me those frilly panties, with a return address and your Skype information?

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

overmykneenow
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 7:55:22 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 966
Location: United Kingdom
Most women don't like moving on to skype or msn simply because they don't like it - accept it and move on

I know of many women on here who have pretty much felt forced on to skype to "prove that they are women" - of course once they do the pressure moves on to appearing on cam. Once women do this once they become more and more reluctant to voice chat with anyone - especially with some one they've only just met.

If you want to talk to women on voice or phone you need to develop trust. That requires a lot of work and women want to know if you're willing to put that work in



Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead
trinket
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 8:01:36 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 10,001
Location: Nowhere near you, Bahamas
Dudealicious wrote:



So was it out of your comfort zone when you mailed me those frilly panties, with a return address and your Skype information?



I've got news for you buddy and it's all bad. Those frilly's didn't come from me..... and the Skype info was fake..... It seems you didn't really want to talk to me at all or you would have known that by now........

lucybabee
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 9:34:57 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/28/2011
Posts: 211
Location: london, United Kingdom
overmykneenow wrote:
Most women don't like moving on to skype or msn simply because they don't like it - accept it and move on


Perfectly said :D
NymphWriter
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 12:02:51 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 8/1/2012
Posts: 742
Location: Las Vegas, United States
My reason is practical... my husband doesn't mind my writing erotica or chatting... but if he heard me talk dirty with someone, it would cause a problem in my marriage. Even though he benefits from my arousal from typing, having to hear me talk with another person about sex, sex acts, etc., would upset him.

When I was single... it was different. Now that I'm married... I won't voice chat. I've been asked before... I explain my "why" and if someone doesn't understand or respect it then that's their loss.

Actually, I'm glad Lush doesn't have that and if I were to want to voice chat... which as I stated earlier... I don't... I will use a program like Skype or Yahoo Messenger for that.

Neve & the Sandman a story written by NymphWriter & adagio_sabadicus

Dancing_Doll
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 12:22:20 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 5,996
Location: In your dirty fantasies
I'm guessing most women aren't into the chatroulette type of scene here. As others have said, it takes a while to build trust and even enough of a level of interest to take things to phone/skype/cam.

It's far less effort to type... you can multi-task, have natural pauses and little breaks, you have shorter convos and you can end things quickly and conveniently. Once you're talking live or on cam you're kind of 'in the box' with the person which makes it much more real and intimate and often comes with the underlying pressure of phone sex or cam reveals.

I've done it before but the connection has to be compelling and the attraction has to be pre-existing. It all goes in stages, right? A basic stranger saying "hey let's skype and get to know each other" is probably going to hit a brick wall pretty often on this site basically because most people aren't going to go that effort for a faceless stranger on the internet that they're not even that into.


CurlyGirly
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 1:28:50 PM

Rank: CurlyFries

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 1,746
Location: United States
overmykneenow wrote:
Most women don't like moving on to skype or msn simply because they don't like it - accept it and move on

I know of many women on here who have pretty much felt forced on to skype to "prove that they are women" - of course once they do the pressure moves on to appearing on cam. Once women do this once they become more and more reluctant to voice chat with anyone - especially with some one they've only just met.

If you want to talk to women on voice or phone you need to develop trust. That requires a lot of work and women want to know if you're willing to put that work in



This thumbup






Nikki703
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 4:15:33 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 12,336
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
overmykneenow wrote:
Most women don't like moving on to skype or msn simply because they don't like it - accept it and move on



CurlyGirly wrote:


This thumbup


I totally agree with CG.

Also for me, I am at work a lot of the time I am on Lush so even if I wanted to Skype, it would not be practical!!
molotov
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 9:52:08 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/6/2011
Posts: 6
Location: Canada
overmykneenow wrote:
Most women don't like moving on to skype or msn simply because they don't like it - accept it and move on


Wow. There is always one in every crowd. This post wasn't about challenging women for their choices or wanting them to change (until it was hijacked by a troll); it's simply (but not simple enough for some, I see) a curiosity-based, non-challenging question about the mindset of females and the choices they make.

"Move on," you say? From what? From intellectually curiosity about women? From wanting to hear their opinions and rationalizations? I think I shall not as this is the essence of discourse. But as you appear to be a man posting his unsolicited views in the "Ask Gals" forum, you would do well to take your own flippant advice. And please, for the love of god, put a shirt on that rug.

Thanks for the responses from the females who actually read the OP carefully, and thoughtfully answered.


molotov
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 10:42:43 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/6/2011
Posts: 6
Location: Canada
lucybabee wrote:


Perfectly said :D


Actually, no, it isn't. It completely misses the point of the OP, and adds nothing of value.
molotov
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 10:57:58 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/6/2011
Posts: 6
Location: Canada
girlsetfree wrote:
In principal I don't have a problem with voice chating to a well established friend on here, but the problem is a practical one.

Lush is my secret, I will often be type chatting on-line when others are in the house, so silence is needed......


Interesting. There is a good story in there somewhere....
molotov
Posted: Saturday, December 29, 2012 11:04:44 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/6/2011
Posts: 6
Location: Canada
Naughty_Nurse wrote:
Although I have a big mouth....I'm just shy/ insecure...english is not my 1th language so the 'risk' that i sound funny or stumble over my own words is a bit too high hahaha...


No worries, even native English speakers stumble. During pillow talk, one time, I remember mistakenly switching the first letters of the keywords I was trying to say as I I told my gf, "I want to nick your lipples."
Embarassed She was confused.
overmykneenow
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 5:48:50 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 966
Location: United Kingdom
molotov wrote:


Wow. There is always one in every crowd. This post wasn't about challenging women for their choices or wanting them to change (until it was hijacked by a troll); it's simply (but not simple enough for some, I see) a curiosity-based, non-challenging question about the mindset of females and the choices they make.

"Move on," you say? From what? From intellectually curiosity about women? From wanting to hear their opinions and rationalizations? I think I shall not as this is the essence of discourse. But as you appear to be a man posting his unsolicited views in the "Ask Gals" forum, you would do well to take your own flippant advice. And please, for the love of god, put a shirt on that rug.

Thanks for the responses from the females who actually read the OP carefully, and thoughtfully answered.


Welcome to Lush forums, you might want to read the guidelines. Nowhere does it say that "Ask the girls" or "Ask the guys" are limited to replies from the gender concerned.

What most forum regulars understand is that most new users posting on the "ask the girls" forum are simply men looking to generate a list of willing victims for their own particular fetish. Credit the ladies of Lush with some intelligence; no matter how florid you put it, the reason you like voice chat is that it keeps your hands free to tug on your dick while you whisper sweet nothings. Women can multi-task.

When I reply to a post like this it's to share my knowledge and experience. You obviously see that as worthless - which is your right. However, when I write a forum post it shows up in the timelines of over 150 Lush ladies - some of which are nosey enough to find out what I've said, some of them will contribute to the discussion themselves.

When you, or any man who posts in this section of the forum, cries "no men" - it shouts out that you're demanding attention and scared of anyone that could distract it. This is also why you like voice - it's far more difficult for the object of temporary affections to be chatting with someone else.

"Intellectual curiosity"? Seriously? Most intelligent women here prefer text based communication because it gets in their head, not just their panties.

You're new to the forum and new to interacting with people on Lush. We all make mistakes - it only becomes a problem when we repeat them.

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead
crazydiamond
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 6:19:05 AM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,285
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
overmykneenow wrote:


Welcome to Lush forums, you might want to read the guidelines. Nowhere does it say that "Ask the girls" or "Ask the guys" are limited to replies from the gender concerned.

What most forum regulars understand is that most new users posting on the "ask the girls" forum are simply men looking to generate a list of willing victims for their own particular fetish. Credit the ladies of Lush with some intelligence; no matter how florid you put it, the reason you like voice chat is that it keeps your hands free to tug on your dick while you whisper sweet nothings. Women can multi-task.

When I reply to a post like this it's to share my knowledge and experience. You obviously see that as worthless - which is your right. However, when I write a forum post it shows up in the timelines of over 150 Lush ladies - some of which are nosey enough to find out what I've said, some of them will contribute to the discussion themselves.

When you, or any man who posts in this section of the forum, cries "no men" - it shouts out that you're demanding attention and scared of anyone that could distract it. This is also why you like voice - it's far more difficult for the object of temporary affections to be chatting with someone else.

"Intellectual curiosity"? Seriously? Most intelligent women here prefer text based communication because it gets in their head, not just their panties.

You're new to the forum and new to interacting with people on Lush. We all make mistakes - it only becomes a problem when we repeat them.





OMKN!!! Don't you dare cover that rug with a shirt!

I've pm'd my skype name, I'll be ready in about 20 minutes , then i'll really show you how well i can multitask ok xx


trinket
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 6:30:15 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 10,001
Location: Nowhere near you, Bahamas
I've seen OMKN here so often I thought he WAS one of the gals dontknow

He gives some good advice though, even if he is a man....kekekegay
The rug? I think they are back in fashion aren't they? I'm certain there is no rule that says we should all wear a shirt, if there is then nobody told me

Shylass
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 6:32:05 AM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,594
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
molotov wrote:
Allow me to add some context before I pose my questions please.

I'm new to actually being a participant in Lush and to the type of site that it is, but not to sharing intimate ideas, experiences, and fantasies. In the past, I've done that with females after i've already met them in person through everyday activities. So, the sharing has been done over the phone, msn/skype voice messages, and even via text. I have found that naughty sharing via voice (either messages or real time) is much more interesting, intimate, and powerful than by typing. The girls all agree.

So, my questions are:
1. Why is their no voice messaging built into lush? Is it just a matter of bandwidth cost?
2. Why are girls online who enjoy naughty typing, so reluctant to voice chat/voice message via programs like msn/skype?

I get that people are, and should be, reluctant to give out phone numbers (don't do it!), but with the ability to easily block/delete people, and to remain anonymous, why not use skype or msn, etc? Actually, I feel a lot safer after I hear someones voice as it lets me know who i'm dealing with better.

Answers appreciated. Thanks.


Welcome!

There is no voice messaging on Lush because it began as a story site. Chat and what is known as "black boxing" and personal chat are added extras (currently not working properly at all times, but being fixed as quickly as possible). There has been talk of new, exciting developments in 2013, so stick around. I believe video chat might have been mentioned at one point, too...

As to why I won't voice chat, I'm horribly shy. I stumble over my words, get so nervous I either can't shut up, or can't say anything at all. I just don't feel safe. I don't even talk to family and real life friends on the phone if I can help it.

I voice chat with four people only, and then only sometimes. They are very close, dearly valued friends who I trust not to laugh at me for my foibles and idiocy. There are a couple of other friends I would love to talk to, but I haven't found the courage.

I wouldn't want to give my details out to some stranger with whom I'm going to share orgasm time with. I don't do that, it's not something I am comfortable with doing. I am very private about many things, and I need my space. If I ever did it, it would be with somebody I felt owned a piece of my soul. And I hate giving up pieces of my soul, because they get trodden on.

And finally, being rude about somebody's avatar is not very kind. There are hundreds of women who want to get into that particular member's underwear because of it, I hear. Kind, strong people always fare best on Lush. They are man or woman enough to know what they want, not be fazed when they don't get it, and react positively in the face of getting the opposite of what they hoped for.

Oh, and for a member to agree with another member's point of view is just as valid as if they had said it themselves. It does add value, because it shows shared opinion without repeating something in different wording. You don't have to agree, but this is a forum; it's what it's for.







Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

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********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
crazydiamond
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 6:38:36 AM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,285
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
Shylass wrote:


Welcome!

There is no voice messaging on Lush because it began as a story site. Chat and what is known as "black boxing" and personal chat are added extras (currently not working properly at all times, but being fixed as quickly as possible). There has been talk of new, exciting developments in 2013, so stick around. I believe video chat might have been mentioned at one point, too...

As to why I won't voice chat, I'm horribly shy. I stumble over my words, get so nervous I either can't shut up, or can't say anything at all. I just don't feel safe. I don't even talk to family and real life friends on the phone if I can help it.

I voice chat with four people only, and then only sometimes. They are very close, dearly valued friends who I trust not to laugh at me for my foibles and idiocy. There are a couple of other friends I would love to talk to, but I haven't found the courage.

I wouldn't want to give my details out to some stranger with whom I'm going to share orgasm time with. I don't do that, it's not something I am comfortable with doing. I am very private about many things, and I need my space. If I ever did it, it would be with somebody I felt owned a piece of my soul. And I hate giving up pieces of my soul, because they get trodden on.

And finally, being rude about somebody's avatar is not very kind. There are hundreds of women who want to get into that particular member's underwear because of it, I hear. Kind, strong people always fare best on Lush. They are man or woman enough to know what they want, not be fazed when they don't get it, and react positively in the face of getting the opposite of what they hoped for.

Oh, and for a member to agree with another member's point of view is just as valid as if they had said it themselves. It does add value, because it shows shared opinion without repeating something in different wording. You don't have to agree, but this is a forum; it's what it's for.







Well said Missy!! (but i swear you laughed at my accent down the phone hahaha bootyshake)

Mazza
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 7:14:54 AM

Rank: Mazztastic

Joined: 9/20/2012
Posts: 2,858
Location: Scotland, United Kingdom
crazydiamond wrote:


Well said Missy!! (but i swear you laughed at my accent down the phone hahaha bootyshake)


You have a lovely voice!!! Rrrrr
crazydiamond
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 7:33:17 AM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,285
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
Mazza wrote:


You have a lovely voice!!! Rrrrr


Shush! ya big Scottish tease!! (i kinda like your twang too ) x

Guest
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 8:23:43 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 474,002
For me...I enjoy voice chat or video chat but I will only do it with someone I have gotten to know on lush and that I feel is a gentleman. I hate it when someone i have never type chatted with asks me to skype because to me that is too much too soon. And believe it or not there are some very nice men on lush. Not all of them are assholes. Another reason I am particular about who i video chat with is because I am a plus size woman and not all men like that....the last thing I need is a man that will ridicule me because of my weight.
CurlyGirly
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 8:27:28 AM

Rank: CurlyFries

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 1,746
Location: United States
Nikki703 wrote:


I totally agree with CG.

Also for me, I am at work a lot of the time I am on Lush so even if I wanted to Skype, it would not be practical!!


Seriously, what kind of job do you have? You can't go to work naked, and they won't let you sex up some random guy on Skype? *Sheesh* I think you might have to find a new gig, Toots!! evil4



I love when guys post in Ask the Gals, because they're usually the most interesting/entertaining posts.






trinket
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 8:37:51 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 10,001
Location: Nowhere near you, Bahamas
CurlyGirly wrote:


Seriously, what kind of job do you have? You can't go to work naked, and they won't let you sex up some random guy on Skype? *Sheesh* I think you might have to find a new gig, Toots!! evil4



I love when guys post in Ask the Gals, because they're usually the most interesting/entertaining posts.



I think I feel sorry for the guys that post in Ask the Gals...... poor sods have no idea what they're in for... evil4

Shylass
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 8:39:45 AM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,594
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
crazydiamond wrote:


Well said Missy!! (but i swear you laughed at my accent down the phone hahaha bootyshake)


That wasn't laughing, that was my concentrating noises as I tried to place your multi-accented speech. Embarassed

And you do sound sexy (NIAGW).


Trinket wrote:



I think I feel sorry for the guys that post in Ask the Gals...... poor sods have no idea what they're in for... evil4


evil4


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
fifer382
Posted: Sunday, December 30, 2012 8:52:50 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/30/2012
Posts: 29
Location: United Kingdom
From a man and new member,prefer txt chat myself for someof the obviou's reason's mentioned.
for obvious reason's anyone can enter the room and the conversation does not involve them.
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