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Having a crush without sexual desires. Options · View
Guest
Posted: Saturday, January 05, 2013 6:00:37 PM

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Mods, move this if this isn't the appropriate section, please.

I saw a post on Facebook today and it made me wonder: Is it possible to have a crush on someone, but not have any sexual desires toward anyone at all. You see, one of my friends claims to be asexual, yet he posts pictures of men and women that he has a crush on and in various conversations, he has said to me the he "would", which makes me think that he must be having sexual desires, on some level, which is hypocritical, if he really is asexual. Why, I oughta shake me fist at him! cussing
kylie_kained
Posted: Saturday, January 05, 2013 7:49:39 PM

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This post confuses me no end unless you think of a crush as a drink and not as a sexual attraction.
















perkynipples
Posted: Saturday, January 05, 2013 9:43:53 PM

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If you take the word crush based on its definition then yes I would agree with your friend. You can be infatuated with some one and not think of them sexually. However if he adds things like i'd bend him/her over and have my way with them , then I do not believe he is asexual like he claims.

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clum
Posted: Saturday, January 05, 2013 10:42:11 PM

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I guess the quintessential example is the famous "man crush" - when a, usually heterosexual, male is taken with another (often a celebrity), has great admiration for them and would/does very much enjoy spending time with them, yet professes absolutely no sexual attraction whatsoever.

Then, you could argue that the sexual element is still there on some level.

I've certainly had crush-like feelings for people with very little thought to sex.

The lion is most lionlike when he roars.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 06, 2013 11:18:09 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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Yeah I agree with @clum. there are cases in which its possible and quite common to have a crush with no desire to pursue anything sexual.
SexySophie
Posted: Sunday, January 06, 2013 12:10:53 PM

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Never happened to me. If I see a guy to whom I'm attracted ... first thing I think of is - 'what's he like down below - and what's he like in bed'.
Americanheart
Posted: Sunday, January 06, 2013 1:03:20 PM

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it depends on the person who i am attracted to

Guest
Posted: Sunday, January 06, 2013 1:34:53 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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You can be attracted to other attributes of a persons personality, i.e., sense of humor, demeanor, honesty. I have many female and male friends that fit this category.
keoloke
Posted: Sunday, January 06, 2013 6:17:41 PM

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SexySofie wrote:

Never happened to me. If I see a guy to whom I'm attracted ... first thing I think of is - 'what's he like down below - and what's he like in bed'.


hum hum, I don't know about this.. I could be wrong..but a crush maybe short lived but for those moments it's a very intense feeling.
What kind of crush is it, if I'm not "being crushed" with every part in my body.

I do like SexySofie explanation... short, sweet and honest. Good girl.


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Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is not much needed.
JohnC
Posted: Wednesday, January 09, 2013 6:07:33 AM

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I say NO. Here is why... the definition of "crush" is IMO wrong in many cases. A "crush" to me has to involve how it makes your heart feel when you think of them or see them. It feels like it is being "crushed". Your chest tightens and your heart skips a beat.

So.... the "man crush" thing is simply IMO a strong friendship or attraction on things other than physical or sexual. It is IMO a misused term, and meant to poke fun of your strong feelings of like or attraction (other than sexual) to another man. I think this attraction is healthy though, and can be a "pal", "mentor", or "protecting", or even "comrade" thing.

That being set aside... for ME.... I think about sex all the time, so wanting to have sex with a woman I like, know, or am attracted to is a GIVEN. So for ME, I can't even imagine having a female friend that I didn't fantasize about having sex with. lol

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