I've haven't been on here long but have a simple question.
As a reader which do you prefer.

First person: "I took her into my arms I knew she could feel my hardness pressing against her"

or third person: "Frank took her in into His arms. She could feel his hardness pressing against her"

I ask this because I was reading a story the other day that was first person but read more like this:

"I took you into my arms I knew you could feel my hardness pressing against you"

These arn't the exact words it was more graphic. I'm trying to be polite.

It immediatly turned me off as I am a straight male. My only thought was something more like...

"You did what, I felt what! Like hell you did!"

I've only written two stories so far. The first two mostly teasers for the third which I submitted today.
Now I wait anxiously hoping it will get approved. So to kill time I thought I would throw this out there.

I don't have a preference in general between first and third person (your first and second examples). They're both standard formats for fiction writing, and I've read plenty of great erotic stories using one or the other.

I find references to "you" (second person, your third example) to be challenging as a reader. Unless the story is really compelling to me, a second person perspective will take me out of it. As you noted, you have to identify very closely with that "you" in order for it to work, so a writer risks alienating a large part of his or her readership out of the gate. I generally find it odd to be told what "I" am doing or thinking. Again, there are always exceptions, but that's been my experience.

Thank you both, I didn't know if that was another version of first person or what. Sorry, I dropped out of school at 14... Wrong side of the tracks and all.
Did go on to college later but english was not my long suit. I've done better on my writting here then I expected.

As far as taking the more of an "outside looking in" view as you mentioned Dancing_Doll. That is a good way to think of it. I may have to go back and give it a second look...

Thanks for the feed back!

Without getting too technical, there are three 'persons' available:
First person: I did something
Second person: You did something.
Third person: They did something.

After that the choices tend to get complicated.(sorry about that)

First person is more intimate but harder to handle since the narration comes from one person.
Third is what 'storytellers' employ and is used in the vast majority of published fiction.
As for second, the best advice I can give is, unless you're a Dancing Doll caliber writer, avoid, avoid, avoid. It's tough to handle and not popular. Leave it to the poets.

Good luck with your writing.

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Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. - ROBERT HEINLEIN

FROM: Becky -- FOR: Matt -- With Love a Festive contest winner - honest
(audio version - very sexy)

HOW HUMANS DO IT: a fish-eye view of sex an Editor's Pick - no kidding

So far my first three have all been first person as it is based off my own personal experience. With an ample use of artistic freedom! LOL So far that is comfortable. I want to try third person, As for this whole second person think, your right I'll leave that to the pros... (In reference to: unless you're a Dancing_Dolls caliber)
Thanks!

The example that you didn't like reads like a 2nd person POV. Those are difficult to write, and not something that everyone likes to read.

Now... I personally like either 1st or 3rd person as long as the story is well written. I've only found a tiny handful of authors that can write a good 2nd person story. So, I hope this answers your question. As an author... I've done both... and it really depends on how the story goes as if I write it in 1st or 3rd. 1st is harder as it limits what you can share, and 3rd allows you to share more, and is easier to share more information with the reader.

Good stories are just that... good stories.

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NymphWriter

Well now I see my lack of education as I found out that 3rd person Omniscient is an actuall writing style... I Just keep learning, isn't it wonderful! My story was rejected due to gramatical errors. I turned to my wife for help. She has a BA in English Lit (A minor in dance...OMG!, I love that woman!). Shes working on he Masters in education and working as a teach full time. I tried not to bother her with this as I know hgow busy she is. With her usual loving care she spent three hours with me showing me all of the errors, making me correct them.

Sometimes I wonder what shes doing with an old high school dropout like me. Of couurse by the time we were done she was very, and I mean VERY! HOT!.
I felt I should thank her for all her help. So I did it multi-orgasmicly.... Don't stop till she begs me kind of night. Then I rembered why she's with me!

She missed work today, still sleeping. Thats why I try not to bother her.

Damn, writing can be so much fun!

I've switched between first and third for stories - sometimes quite late in the process. Scotch Bonnet was third person when i first drafted it. The main drawback is you can't really get into the head of the other characters like you can with third person.

With third person you don't need to be in the same room as the main character throughout. Usually this doesn't present a major problem in a short story - but it can in novels. Arthur Conan Doyle wrote the Sherlock Holmes stories in first person through the eyes of Dr Watson - mostly! Sometimes the stories had to switch to being told by another character when Watson wasn't around for whatever reason.

As others have pointed the story you originally referred to is in second person. As you've spotted it's a terrible way to write a story and is responsible for some of the weakest efforts on this site.

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Why not read some stories instead

CAM FUN COMPETITION ENTRY: DAGUERREOTYPE go on - it's only 500 words, you're not THAT busy.

Too long? OK, how about a poem instead? This one's not even 101 words! RECOMMENDED REED

Would that be considered second person? Whenever I think of second person, I think of the "you" as being the subject, not the object. Would determining the reader's actions, even if the reader is not the subject, automatically make it second person? When I think second person, I think of those old Choose-Your-Own Adventure Books or a film like Blast of Silence. Like "You took him into your arms" instead of "I took you into my arms". Maybe a first and second person combo? It doesn't really matter, I just have never thought about where that sort of writing would fit into the narrative spectrum (writing with both an "I" and then a "you").

Regardless, yeah, that sort of "I verb you" writing is seldom in prose. You find it much more often in romantic/confessional type songs, poetry, correspondence, etc.

This is very true. Sometimes first person works and sometimes it doesn't. I've actually changed one of my stories from first to third when proof-reading because it just didn't 'fit'.

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As a reader I prefer third person...although when done well, I love the first person (like in crime novels)

i like first person pov.....

Mostly third person.

It doesn't really matter to me.

first person