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Can we dispense with the labels "MILF" and "Cougar"? Options · View
PhareDuFour
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 7:58:12 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 10/23/2012
Posts: 57
Location: United Kingdom
Is it just me, or do other members here find the terms "MILF" and "Cougar" derrogatory and demeaning?

The acronym MILF for Moms I Love to Fuck originated in the film America Pie as far as I know. So, in its original context it involved an underage male wanting to have sex with one of his friend's mother.

In the meantime this has somehow spiraled out as a general wishy-washy term to encompass all women over the age of 25 who may or may not have children as "second-rate" sexual partner choices. I don't know why women over the age of 30 who enjoy having sex often are somehow portrayed as "desperate", "sex-craved", "nymphos" or "wanton".

What does the world expect? Women who have brought a child into the world are supposed to be thereafter prude?

Doesn't anyone find it strange that the expression "DILF" Dads I Love to Fuck is non-existant?

The same thing goes of the expression "Cougar". Why is there a word for a 40+ year-old woman who has sexual relations with a 20- year-old male, but for the reverse situation, there is no word? No one says "Dirty Old Man" for a 40 year-old man who has a 20 year-old girlfriend. He has to be at least 80 for this to apply. And no one calls him a "wolf" or a "coyote" or a "jackel" or anything like that.

For the story category BDSM, they don't call it "Perverted Sex".

For the story category Gay Male, they don't call it "Faggot Sex".

Hence, I would like to see the story category "MILF Sex" disappear or be re-named. MILF is sexist and derrogatory, especially when there is no "DILF Sex" category.


Si vos postulo me, sed non vis me, oportet me manere.
Sed si vis me, sed non vos postulo me, oportet me abire.
ChrisX
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 8:14:41 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/29/2012
Posts: 12
Location: Netherlands
I don't agree with your definition of MILF. Indeed it's not always used to describe a mother but when you use it the second part of its definition usually applies, i.e. someone you'd like to fuck. Nothing second-rate about it, it's more a compliment. As a matter of fact there are plenty of guys who actually prefer a MILF over women of their own age for the same reason a lot of girls are interested in older guys, experience. Why there's no term for the female equivalent? Perhaps you gals have to learn to come up with catchy names yourself so something goes mainstream and eventually it can be found in the dictionary as well.

As for cougar you could argue that it's a much nicer term than its male equivalent. I'd take it over pervert any day.
lafayettemister
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 8:35:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/4/2010
Posts: 6,342
Location: Alabama, United States
Much ado about nothing. Who cares. The use of the terms "MILF" and "Cougar" is number 4,345,789 on the list of things that need to be changed. If that's your biggest worry in life, then you've got a great life.

Lush is a fantasy site. People that read/write MILF stories are fantasizing about what turns them on. Who are we to take away their fantasy or tell them how to label it. Whoever said that MILFs are "desperate", "sex-craved", "nymphos" or "wanton"? Maybe they are maybe they aren't, but so is everyone else.

Also, no one said that a woman has to be a prude after giving birth. Young guys like fucking older women, it's just reality. The term MILF has no designation that moms are unable to get laid. I think you're over thinking it.

In years past, men on the prowl were often referred to as "Wolves".

If you don't like the MILF sex category, don't read it. Some people don't like the Reluctance category, should we do away with it too? There is no DILF category because it's not wanted or needed.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
PhareDuFour
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 8:37:42 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 10/23/2012
Posts: 57
Location: United Kingdom
ChrisX wrote:
I'd take it over pervert any day.


So would I, but where I live the words "MILF" and "Cougar" don't exist, and they only consider them perverts if they practice necrophilia, pedophilia or zoophilia.

Si vos postulo me, sed non vis me, oportet me manere.
Sed si vis me, sed non vos postulo me, oportet me abire.
Mobius_NR
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 9:34:44 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/23/2010
Posts: 45
Location: Southern New Jersey
A rose by any other name... :-) Personally, I like the terms even though I rarely use them. To me the term MILF or cougar could be applied to woman in ways that vary between attractive or derogatory depending on the context. I like to see the positive sides of things and so I lean towards the gentler uses of the terms. Besides, the sentance "Mom I'd like to have a long, loving happy and thrilling sexual relationship with (MILTHALLATSRW) makes for a cumbersome acronym! :-)


I also rely heavilly on a sense of humor to get through difficult days and so the terms tend to lighten things up. For example, American actress Maura Tierney played the role of a nurse who completed medical school and became a doctor in emergency medicine. During one episode, a bratty teenager spoke to his pal (in her presence) calling her a 'milf.' She corrected the boy, "I am a doctor!" and the kid said to his pal, "Oh, a DILF." OK, the kid was a brat but the scene was funny.

The term cougar could have predatory connotations but seriously, if an older woman is attractive to young men, in th elong run that's an affirmation of her attractiveness. Demi Moore had a relationship with Ashton Kutcher that was committed by Hollywood standards. If the two of them could keep each other grinnign for a couple of years more power to them. Do I wish that Demi suddenly became attracted to 65 year old, overweight diabetics? Sure but hey, life's tough. By the way, I love your avitar photo. What a MI__ oh I'd better not say it. The photo is alluring. :-)

ChrisX
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 9:53:53 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/29/2012
Posts: 12
Location: Netherlands
PhareDuFour wrote:


So would I, but where I live the words "MILF" and "Cougar" don't exist, and they only consider them perverts if they practice necrophilia, pedophilia or zoophilia.


I'm pretty sure that a group of girls would refer to that 40-year-old guy who tried to buy them a drink a pervert or a creep. Either way, back on topic, since there's demand for that category there isn't a reason for it not to be there, like lafayettemister said:
lafayettemister wrote:

If you don't like the MILF sex category, don't read it. Some people don't like the Reluctance category, should we do away with it too? There is no DILF category because it's not wanted or needed.
PhareDuFour
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 10:01:57 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 10/23/2012
Posts: 57
Location: United Kingdom
lafayettemister wrote:
If you don't like the MILF sex category, don't read it.


I am not opposed to the story, but to the labels. Like I said, they don't call BDSM "Pervert Sex" and they don't call Gale Male "Faggot Sex", so why can't they call it "Age Play" intead of "MILF Sex"?

Just sayin'.

Si vos postulo me, sed non vis me, oportet me manere.
Sed si vis me, sed non vos postulo me, oportet me abire.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 10:04:14 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 5,979
Location: In your dirty fantasies
I've never liked the word 'Cougar'. Although the guys they're after (young guys who like older women) are called 'Cubs'.

Around here, we call the opposite - meaning older men who go after much younger women 'Silverbacks' (as in the gorilla).

If the guy is WAY older, then as you mentioned - 'Dirty Old Man' pretty much sums it up.

There's a lot of urban terms but their popularity probably differs widely depending on social demographics and where you live in the world.

In terms of story categories however, it follows the standard of what is widely accepted in the adult industry and porn. Somehow the "MILF culture" has evolved enough to have staying power and to be recognizable for those that are into women that aren't the standard 19-24 y/o that the adult industry has deemed to be the most desirable age by the majority.






Nikki703
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 10:29:08 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 12,329
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
I have always thought the term Cougar was stupid. But I really dont see how MILF is derogatory. It is actually a compliment. Now if it was MIWFWYC, Mom I Wouldnt Fuck With Your Cock, then that would be derogatory.LOL

I have been called a MILF and while I dont really pay attention to it, it nice to be thought of being hot enough that a younger guy or girl would want me. And I hope someday to be considered a GILF!! HAHA

As for DILF, it just doesnt have the same ring to it!!

I think you are making too big a deal about nothing!! Its not like its Old Bitch Id Like To Fuck!
CurlyGirly
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 11:27:27 AM

Rank: CurlyFries

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 1,742
Location: United States
Nikki703 wrote:
I have always thought the term Cougar was stupid. But I really dont see how MILF is derogatory. It is actually a compliment. Now if it was MIWFWYC, Mom I Wouldnt Fuck With Your Cock, then that would be derogatory.LOL

I have been called a MILF and while I dont really pay attention to it, it nice to be thought of being hot enough that a younger guy or girl would want me. And I hope someday to be considered a GILF!! HAHA

As for DILF, it just doesnt have the same ring to it!!

I think you are making too big a deal about nothing!! Its not like its Old Bitch Id Like To Fuck!


Hey, I was going to post my next story on Lush under that category (OBILTF)! evil4


While those terms are not my favorite, I don't find them derogatory and don't give them much thought. I would certainly rather be called a MILF than a "c*nt."

In fact, while typing this post, I had some douche I've never spoken to before send me a message saying "Hey slutty girl." I was much more offended by that than if he would've called me a MILF or cougar. tongue6






tender_cowboy
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 11:35:25 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 10/7/2007
Posts: 52
Location: South Dakota
AT my age i gave up on looking for cougars but i always keep an eye open for a saber tooth tiger
overmykneenow
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 11:41:07 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 966
Location: United Kingdom
PhareDuFour wrote:


I am not opposed to the story, but to the labels. Like I said, they don't call BDSM "Pervert Sex" and they don't call Gale Male "Faggot Sex", so why can't they call it "Age Play" intead of "MILF Sex"?

Just sayin'.


Writers will hopefully want as many people to see their stories as possible, I would think there are a lot more readers finding lush through google with the search term "MILF sex stories" rather than the more policitically correct "age gap related sex stories".

A similar topic recently came up regarding the interracial category - with a lot of very interesting ideas for and against it keeping it. In my opinion though it suits us all to have as many people as possible who are interested in seeing our stuff finding it. Popular terms such as MILF, cougar etc while we may not like them are part of the porn vernacular. The categories on Lush reflect that agenda, they don't set it.

As authors we should be looking to push the boundaries or surprise readers - while at the same time giving them what they will enjoy reading. The categories can allow you to play with perceptions if you want to. Or you can just write about a good hard fuck.

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead
WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 1:33:19 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,210
Location: Cakeland, United States
I once enjoyed the chat company of a 27 yr old single woman from Long Island. I was forty three. She was just starting her psychiatric career and had sought me out on AOL for a variety of reasons, but mostly because of the age gap.

Imagine trying to wrap your head around being thought of as or addressed as a Daddy sometime, if you feel MILF or cougar is icky.

After awhile you (or at least I did) learn to let those droplets roll down your feathers and off your back.

I can think of a lot more derogatory things to label someone as...than Daddy, MILF, cougar or silverback. Not worth getting my panties all twisted about.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
niceguy89
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 6:29:24 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/16/2009
Posts: -24
Location: Texas, United States
MILF is catchy, quick and fun to say. Hopefully nobody is saying it in formal company but I see no harm in slang being used among friends. Cougar does sound worse but silverback is just as bad.
Highwayman
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 7:40:30 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/10/2012
Posts: 1,498




‎"The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible." --Wilde
Highwayman
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 7:48:21 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/10/2012
Posts: 1,498
BTW, there's not much DILF, 'cuse most guys are dicks. And yes, cougars and MILFS are too. Lets grow up.

How about accepting our sexuality and others without terms.

And, of course I see the potential racist remark, but I just thought it funny, not racist.

‎"The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible." --Wilde
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2013 9:45:41 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,480
I understand what your saying but wonder if its an cultural thing. I was at the gym the other day and had just got out of yoga. A group of older women were walking one way a couple of guys with the classic high school jock look going the other. After they past the guys I head on say to the others "Down cougers, down". They call themselves that. Its not really considered a derogatory term here in the US.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2013 1:30:18 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,480
I don't find the term offensive at all. Being a Grandmama, I've been called a MILF and I find it rather flattering. So I guess I'm actually a GILF and let me tell you, there's some very sexy nanas out there. I doubt if many would find the term derogatory.

As for stories in the MILF genre, I've never read one. Perhaps I shall.


nicola
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2013 2:24:25 AM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 24,882
Location: Sydney, Australia
overmykneenow wrote:
A similar topic recently came up regarding the interracial category - with a lot of very interesting ideas for and against it keeping it. In my opinion though it suits us all to have as many people as possible who are interested in seeing our stuff finding it. Popular terms such as MILF, cougar etc while we may not like them are part of the porn vernacular. The categories on Lush reflect that agenda, they don't set it.


Yes.

"MILF" at one time, was in the Top 20 most searched for phrases on the web. It ony makes sense to give people what they are searching for.

I don't consider it derogatory at all, but then again, I don't fit into that category.
MrNudiePants
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2013 6:45:58 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 2,068
Location: United States
nicola wrote:


Yes.

"MILF" at one time, was in the Top 20 most searched for phrases on the web. It ony makes sense to give people what they are searching for.

I don't consider it derogatory at all, but then again, I don't fit into that category.


Are you just an " ...ILF" then? evil4

FWIW, I never considered MILF or GILF to be derogatory. I always thought the terms were mostly descriptive, part celebratory of diversity, and part in awe of the lasting sexual appeal of many women around the world, but I never once thought of a MILF in a bad light. (He says as he thinks of the several MILFs he's had the pleasure of bedding through the years.)

elitfromnorth
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2013 8:00:08 AM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,590
Location: Burrowed, Norway
nicola wrote:



I don't consider it derogatory at all, but then again, I don't fit into that category.


Matriarch ILF Whistle

As for the term MILF I don't really see a problem with it. I hear countless women talking about how they're afraid of losing their figure after giving birth and being unattractive and all that. Surely being told that yes, your stomach blew out like a baloon and you squeezed a kid out of your vag and you may still have stretchmarks or whatever, but I still wanna fuck you, is a compliment? How many women have complained about being called a MILF?

As for Silverback, I think it's fucking awesome as a term. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm 26 I'd ask to be called a Silverback, simply because it would be one of the more inventive nicknames I've had during my time munky2

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
CurlyGirly
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2013 9:24:57 AM

Rank: CurlyFries

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 1,742
Location: United States
elitfromnorth wrote:


Matriarch ILF Whistle

As for the term MILF I don't really see a problem with it. I hear countless women talking about how they're afraid of losing their figure after giving birth and being unattractive and all that. Surely being told that yes, your stomach blew out like a baloon [sic] and you squeezed a kid out of your vag and you may still have stretchmarks or whatever, but I still wanna fuck you, is a compliment? How many women have complained about being called a MILF?

As for Silverback, I think it's fucking awesome as a term. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm 26 I'd ask to be called a Silverback, simply because it would be one of the more inventive nicknames I've had during my time munky2


Despite all that, we're still fuckable! Yippee! You're right, when you put it that way, how can we not take it as a compliment??? laughing8






Nikki703
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2013 3:35:51 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 12,329
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
Can we have a category called SWAWCWDTMADTMDTWUGUCMTMOHDWTOTBAAHTKGDWSCSOCDWHAOASLPGTILF?

" She was a wild child who drank too much and did too many drugs then woke up, got under control, married the man of her dreams who turned out to be an asshole, had 3 kids, got divorced, went sex crazy, sort of calmed down, works her ass off and still looks pretty good that Id like to Fuck"
elitfromnorth
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2013 8:00:36 PM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,590
Location: Burrowed, Norway
Nikki703 wrote:
Can we have a category called SWAWCWDTMADTMDTWUGUCMTMOHDWTOTBAAHTKGDWSCSOCDWHAOASLPGTILF?

" She was a wild child who drank too much and did too many drugs then woke up, got under control, married the man of her dreams who turned out to be an asshole, had 3 kids, got divorced, went sex crazy, sort of calmed down, works her ass off and still looks pretty good that Id like to Fuck"


NO! That would be excluding those who:
Wasn't a wild child
Didn't do drugs
Married a woman
Had no kids, less than 3 or more than 3
Still married or widowed.
As medium sex cravings
Still fucking nuts
Lazy bum woman
Looks only semi good or looks bad
You'd only fuck after half a bottle of tequila

Remember, lush is a no discriminatory site evil4

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
winky
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2013 8:56:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2011
Posts: 338
Location: tanning on the beach
wouldnt you want to be called a MILF... i mean.. isnt that a compliment.. i mean would you rather be called a MIWNWTF (mother i would not want to fuck?)
Buz
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2013 9:00:00 PM

Rank: The Linebacker

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 5,181
Location: Atlanta, United States
Keep 'em!

I have written a new poem. It is called 'Long Twisty Woman.'
You can read it at: http://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/long-twisty-woman.aspxx
Also, if you wish, check out my co-authored a story with the wonderful DanielleX. It is called 'Focus on Sex.'
You can read it at: http://www.lushstories.com/stories/quickie-sex/focused-on-sex-1.aspx

Buz
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2013 9:03:36 PM

Rank: The Linebacker

Joined: 3/2/2011
Posts: 5,181
Location: Atlanta, United States
nicola wrote:


Yes.

"MILF" at one time, was in the Top 20 most searched for phrases on the web. It ony makes sense to give people what they are searching for.

I don't consider it derogatory at all, but then again, I don't fit into that category.


Nic how long are you going to keep using 'Barely Legal'? Whistle

I have written a new poem. It is called 'Long Twisty Woman.'
You can read it at: http://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/long-twisty-woman.aspxx
Also, if you wish, check out my co-authored a story with the wonderful DanielleX. It is called 'Focus on Sex.'
You can read it at: http://www.lushstories.com/stories/quickie-sex/focused-on-sex-1.aspx

nicola
Posted: Tuesday, January 22, 2013 2:45:07 AM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 24,882
Location: Sydney, Australia
I think our Kim Kardashian stories category can be dispensed with now, what shall we replace it with?
Magical_felix
Posted: Tuesday, January 22, 2013 11:01:21 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,553
Location: California
Nikki703 wrote:
Can we have a category called SWAWCWDTMADTMDTWUGUCMTMOHDWTOTBAAHTKGDWSCSOCDWHAOASLPGTILF?

" She was a wild child who drank too much and did too many drugs then woke up, got under control, married the man of her dreams who turned out to be an asshole, had 3 kids, got divorced, went sex crazy, sort of calmed down, works her ass off and still looks pretty good that Id like to Fuck"


laughing8

How about SWAWCWDTMADTMDTWUGUCMTMOHDWTOTBAAHTKGDWSCSOCDWHAOASLPGTILFH

She was a wild child who drank too much and did too many drugs then woke up, got under control, married the man of her dreams who turned out to be an asshole, had 3 kids, got divorced, went sex crazy, sort of calmed down, works her ass off and still looks pretty good that Id like to Fuck Hard.





Magical_felix
Posted: Tuesday, January 22, 2013 11:03:01 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,553
Location: California
nicola wrote:
I think our Kim Kardashian stories category can be dispensed with now, what shall we replace it with?


I got a little excited when I saw Nicola Post in here. Was hoping she was going to suggest a "Matriarch I'd like to fuck" category.



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