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Which is more important? Having a good lover or being a good lover? Options · View
CenterLine
Posted: Thursday, January 17, 2013 8:41:59 PM

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Location: Tallest room of my tower, United States
Being a good lover. It's more important to me, not to "impress" my partner, but to show the initiative and pleasure that I do have, so that she or he knows my intent.
frogprince
Posted: Sunday, January 20, 2013 6:40:40 PM

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Location: Bliss, United States
I prefer to be a good lover.
frogprince
Posted: Sunday, January 20, 2013 6:41:36 PM

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Location: Bliss, United States
I prefer to be a good lover.
stang
Posted: Sunday, February 10, 2013 8:46:14 AM

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Joined: 4/29/2009
Posts: 1,825
I would say both
Milly
Posted: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 1:49:25 AM

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Location: Wherever I lay my head, United Kingdom
Being a good lover.
NatureLover
Posted: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 3:56:57 AM

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Location: United Kingdom
Definitely being a good lover. I take more pleasure from giving pleasure and seeing their reactions than I do from receiving. I suppose if they are enjoying what you are doing for them, they are more likely to reciprocate, but it really is the giving that is the most pleasurable for me.
Manofmind69
Posted: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 6:32:59 PM

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Joined: 2/11/2013
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Location: United States
I think it depends on you and your partner I know I like learning and love teaching but the sex has to be somewhat compatible or else the fun is lost.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 7:02:43 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,102
BelleduJour wrote:
When you first have sex with someone, is it more important to you that your partner is a 'good' lover or that your partner thinks you are a 'good' lover?


Really great question! Without question, it is far more important to me that I am a good lover. I have consistently found that my performance and level of engagement with my partner can dramatically elevate their level, so I place the responsibility completely on me. However, many women I have been with were amazing and I just hope that I was worthy.
2706ali
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:15:36 AM

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Joined: 8/5/2010
Posts: 283
Location: London
It has to be being a good lover and being in tune with her wants and needs,then all else falls into place.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:35:12 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,102
I honestly have to say that I think Being a good lover is more important because if you are a good lover then you can totally please her and if she is pleased then you will be pleased in return!!
SubmissiveMistress
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:49:01 AM

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Location: Home, United States
Being a good lover. I work very hard to please my boyfriend, even if it means that I don't get to finish my self.
sprite
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:53:08 AM

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Location: My Tower, United States
being an honest and enthusiastic lover is important, too!
GOOLER
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 8:53:41 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 8/6/2012
Posts: 8
Location: United States
I hope i'm a good lover! But then again i hope she is also.
I know i try my best to be a good lover just by making sure she is satisfied even if i'm not.
Nothing turns me on more than to watch a woman orgasm as she reachs her climax.......
delsmith
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 9:19:38 AM

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Joined: 4/30/2012
Posts: 167
Location: Erie, United States
By far it is most important to be a good lover. The man owes it to the lady to be slow, sensitive and passionate. The feelings of the lady must be reacted to with the love making she is expecting and deserving. If you do not totally please and satisfy the lady you did not make love. Making love involves all the senses and, yes, men you need to think and be the lover she deserves.


julhard
Posted: Thursday, February 14, 2013 1:47:40 PM

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Location: Durban, South Africa
being a good lover is the way n making sure u meet your partners need everytime u r at it.
julhard
Posted: Thursday, February 14, 2013 1:49:04 PM

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Location: Durban, South Africa
being a good lover is so enriching
SittingBallerina
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 2:07:42 AM

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Joined: 7/15/2012
Posts: 2,311
Location: United States
So many of these responses ring true. You have to be a good lover. By being a good lover, you become compatible with each other sexually and learn from one another.
sweetaz
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2013 2:46:09 AM

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Joined: 7/25/2011
Posts: 8,712
Location: New Zealand
being a attentive lover, and the same caring attention is returned to you, its all about communication makes the best lovers over all.
Navy
Posted: Tuesday, February 26, 2013 3:58:42 PM

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Joined: 2/11/2013
Posts: 20
Location: Phoenix, United States
Being a good lover.
DazzlingLove
Posted: Tuesday, February 26, 2013 11:52:25 PM

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Joined: 3/7/2009
Posts: 446
Location: Australia
Be a facilitator. A good lover makes it easier for everyone else!
Archangelistic
Posted: Wednesday, February 27, 2013 12:08:19 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/14/2013
Posts: 103
Location: Deep Inside, United States
Being a good lover should be instinctive. Having a good lover makes you step up your game to become a better lover.
1nympholes
Posted: Wednesday, February 27, 2013 2:44:35 PM

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Joined: 5/31/2012
Posts: 658
Location: Bare Beach USA, United States
If you do not have part A or can't find part B, does it really matter?






The girl who started early at this game of sexual pleasure, This girl that never seems to get as much as she wants, at least from the right people. But now certainly the woman that will test all the paths of pleasure with you.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 16, 2013 12:30:12 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,102
If both you and your partner try to be good lovers then sex will improve for both of you. If you're lazy and satisfied with how good your partner is then it's unlikely that it'll ever get any better.
Poppet
Posted: Tuesday, April 16, 2013 1:33:46 PM

Rank: Sweetest Cricket

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 5,138
Location: You Inspire Me, United States
Being a good lover is important, because you hope they are doing the same thus making it perfect between the both of you.

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Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 16, 2013 1:54:40 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,102
i think that both feelings important to me...
LOVES4PLAY
Posted: Tuesday, April 16, 2013 2:56:23 PM

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Location: JUST A CLICK AWAY, United States
Being a good lover, gets repeat invitations.( something to think about)

Being a poor lover, probably earns one self induced hand jobs.

A Good lover also has the satisfaction of knowing that they have; pleased & satisfied their lover..
Urbabygirl_1978
Posted: Tuesday, April 16, 2013 3:36:17 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 2/27/2013
Posts: 56
Location: Canada
This is such a good question! I think if its my first time with someone then I want to be a good lover, however when it comes time for him to please me I want it to be good as well. Maybe the best answer is both!
sallyho
Posted: Tuesday, April 16, 2013 7:18:20 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 3/27/2013
Posts: 8
Location: Middle of nowhere , United States
Being a good lover. You will hopefully get back what you put into it.
coffeekid63
Posted: Friday, April 19, 2013 7:26:56 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/24/2013
Posts: 31
Location: south eastern, United States
I think being a good lover because I LOVE to see my wife in ecstasy. That being said I think it is important to remember that good lovers are made not born.
LusciousLady
Posted: Friday, April 19, 2013 7:32:16 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 4/16/2013
Posts: 12
Location: United States
I prefer to be a good lover and have found that in being a good lover I often get a great lover.
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