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Ok to breastfeed someone else's baby? Options · View
lafayettemister
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 8:09:37 AM

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I saw this debate on face book last night. Thought it was be interesting to see what you Lushies think.

Babysitting mom breastfeends friend's baby

I left my son with a friend of mine who is also breast feeding, i left a bottle of breast milk for him, I was only gone for about an hour. She said she couldn't get him to stop crying so she breast fed him, would you be pissed or am I over exaggerating?

I didn't read all of the responses, but most follow the them that... if the woman was trustworthy enough to babysit, then she's ok to have breastfed the baby. But that the babysitter should/could have called first.

another person said... " Donor milk comes from screened women. You never really know a person. People ask before they give your kids soda, candy, nuts etc so why wouldn't she call to ask could she put her boob in your kids mouth."

There are some mentions of Wet Nurses, but those women are usually screened these days.

What say you Lush? How would you react if someone nursed your child? Ok, since the child needed it? Or out of bounds?





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Guest
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 9:19:41 AM

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The idea doesn't really bother me. At the end of the day, breast milk is beneficial for the kid. Knowing that nannies in the medieval times would breast feed a higher ups newborn, I don't really see the big no-no about it; if it wasn't found to be bad then, I dont see how it would change now unless you count chemicals in which the breast feeder puts in her body. If that's what she's worried about-- that the baby sitter is drinking or eating something harmful-- then isnt she implying that the baby sitter's kid is also in danger?

Maybe she felt as if she was being replaced? Or that she was trying to steal her child and that's why she thinks her friend was over bounds? I know that that's what I would be worried about.

Of course she may just be over-reacting because the kid is her responsibility and she wants everything to be in her control to diminish variables and ensure that she's a fitting parent.
Cripto
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 10:00:59 AM

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In my opinion, it would be fine if a babysitter did that for my child. In fact, that might even be one of the things I would ask for the women. If my child refused the bottle but still needed to eat, it would be better if it would have the breast milk from another person then starve.
sugarbabe
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 10:11:59 AM

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I wouldn't want my babysitter, friend, sister, mother or anyone else to breast feed my son. I did breast feed all 3of mine, and never ever thought about feeding an other's baby. If the mother was really sick or dying, now that could change the game, and that would be a whole new thread.
I am babysitting up to 12 hours a day...she was being breast fed the first 6 months, (she turned 1 yesterday) I would never think of breastfeeding her (even if I was lactating). she cried, she had gas, a tummy ache, some days didn't feel good, had a cold, not enough sleep, whatever was wrong. you rock them, love them, hold them, soothe them, but not stick your breast in someone else's baby's mouth!
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LadyX
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 10:27:05 AM

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lafayettemister wrote:
I saw this debate on face book last night. Thought it was be interesting to see what you Lushies think.

Babysitting mom breastfeends friend's baby

I left my son with a friend of mine who is also breast feeding, i left a bottle of breast milk for him, I was only gone for about an hour. She said she couldn't get him to stop crying so she breast fed him, would you be pissed or am I over exaggerating?

I didn't read all of the responses, but most follow the them that... if the woman was trustworthy enough to babysit, then she's ok to have breastfed the baby. But that the babysitter should/could have called first.

another person said... " Donor milk comes from screened women. You never really know a person. People ask before they give your kids soda, candy, nuts etc so why wouldn't she call to ask could she put her boob in your kids mouth."

There are some mentions of Wet Nurses, but those women are usually screened these days.

What say you Lush? How would you react if someone nursed your child? Ok, since the child needed it? Or out of bounds?


Not an overreaction. I'd be creeped out at the least, and possibly irate, if this had happened to me and my kid. It's just not something you do without talking about it first. To say nothing of the possible allergy complications. Women whose children have food intolerances and allergies work very heard to eliminate those things from their diet, only to have it undone by an unwitting (and unauthorized) "wetnurse".
Guest
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 11:47:36 AM

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I've heard of a situation like this before...saw it on the web.

It surprised me that most people were banging on about it being potentially unsanitary, things being transmitted etc. It seems to me that the first thing that'd spring to my mind is that breast feeding is a very intimate thing, it implies and builds a bond between mother and child, so if someone else did that to one's own child...well... that'd be my issue.

That said, I don't have a child (phew!), so if that ever happens to me... don't hold me to my above comment.
Guest
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 12:27:28 PM

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I'm not a mother but if I had a kid, I'd be beyond mad if someone did that. First of all, you don't know what health issues the woman might have and just passed onto your baby (AIDS, for example). Also, depending on what she's eaten, she could be handing back a baby that's going to be colicky the whole night or have an unexplainable allergic reaction. Thirdly, if there is a break in the skin or something (as is common in the nipples of breast feeding women), she could have given the baby a blood borne diaease as well. If the mother had left a bottle for the kid, the other woman had no reason to breastfeed her baby. Plus, she was only gone an hour, the kid wasn't going to have time starve.
Naughty_Nurse
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 1:00:10 PM

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My sisters kids and mine are the same age and we both breastfed them when they were babies.
But we didn't feed eich others kids, mainly because it wasn't necessary; we made sure we left einough milk if we were taking care of eichothers baby.

I knew my sis don't really like the idea of her baby lurking milk from my boobs and it would also feel a bit wierd to do actually.
The other way around it feels the same actually.

If it's necessary because they would be hungry it's different of course, than you give a call to ask if it's ok and feed the baby after that call.
But preferably no other babies then mine on my tits, feels a bit wierd.binky

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Guest
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 1:06:47 PM

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I just can't imagine
stephanie
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 1:23:44 PM

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From personal experience, if you don't know the mother and the baby and you simply get an overwhelming urge in a 7-11... Well, put it like this... The POLICE were called...

(I make this shit up, you know...)

xx Steph.

(It was a very cute baby, though. And he WAS hungry...) But try telling that to a Judge...

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loveslegs
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 3:28:53 PM

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I would see nothing wrong with that, provided there was good reason to breastfeed someone else's baby. To answer the original question; the baby crying and not stopping hardly qualifies as reason enough to breastfeed it if it's not yours. However, it really depends on each persons point of view and I dont think there can be a 'general rule' regarding this issue.

If I'm not mistaken, up until the niddle ages (maybe a little after that too) there were women who would be charged with nursing the baby of the households they were working in.
CurlyGirly
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 6:42:18 PM

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LadyX wrote:


Not an overreaction. I'd be creeped out at the least, and possibly irate, if this had happened to me and my kid. It's just not something you do without talking about it first. To say nothing of the possible allergy complications. Women whose children have food intolerances and allergies work very heard to eliminate those things from their diet, only to have it undone by an unwitting (and unauthorized) "wetnurse".


This!

I don't think I can put into words exactly how livid I would be if another mother breastfed my child without consent. angry7 angry7 angry7



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Ruthie
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 6:45:48 PM

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My first impulse is to say that it's fine to breastfeed someone else's baby. Women have been doing that since the species got started. Sprite has a good point though. The woman's health history makes a difference. It would have been better if she hadn't breastfed without permission. She should have gotten in touch with the baby's mother first to get her okay.
MrNudiePants
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 9:37:21 PM

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LadyX wrote:


Not an overreaction. I'd be creeped out at the least, and possibly irate, if this had happened to me and my kid. It's just not something you do without talking about it first. To say nothing of the possible allergy complications. Women whose children have food intolerances and allergies work very heard to eliminate those things from their diet, only to have it undone by an unwitting (and unauthorized) "wetnurse".


I'm with X. I'd be highly pissed. Not only food issues and allergies, but she would be exposing the baby to every flu virus she's ever had that the baby's mother hadn't had yet. More than creepy - borderline criminal.

pixiedust65
Posted: Saturday, January 19, 2013 6:40:51 PM

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I would be really upset! Not only the physical worries surrounding breastfeeding someone else's child, but a lot if not all mothers see this as a bonding time for mom and baby. binky

lambdavi
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2013 5:16:44 AM

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I'm not a mother... I could never be, because I'm a father.

But, I do see the implications in the question that started this thred, so I did the obvious thing, I asked my wife, who is not only a mother, but a doctor as well.

First things first, LadyX may rest reassured, there is NO WAY breastfeeding can generate food intolerances in any way, even or especially if feeding from a wet nurse. In fact, it can only help making the baby stronger.
A baby becomes lactose intolerant when fed cow's milk; he/she will never be intolerant to his/her mother's milk, and it is extremely improbable that he/she be intolerant to a wet nanny...

In physiological terms, it would be like a woman being allergic to her own husband skin, or sweat, or... whatever... ;)
Guest
Posted: Saturday, January 26, 2013 12:56:46 PM

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I'd be upset. It's like having someone else kiss your kid's cut better. Sure, it seems harmless, but it's still someone else's bodily fluids coming into direct and intimate contact with your child without your consent. Unless the nurse had prior consent, I think she's out of line to breastfeed someone else's child.
LadyX
Posted: Tuesday, February 05, 2013 9:45:35 AM

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lambdavi wrote:
I'm not a mother... I could never be, because I'm a father.

But, I do see the implications in the question that started this thred, so I did the obvious thing, I asked my wife, who is not only a mother, but a doctor as well.

First things first, LadyX may rest reassured, there is NO WAY breastfeeding can generate food intolerances in any way, even or especially if feeding from a wet nurse. In fact, it can only help making the baby stronger.
A baby becomes lactose intolerant when fed cow's milk; he/she will never be intolerant to his/her mother's milk, and it is extremely improbable that he/she be intolerant to a wet nanny...

In physiological terms, it would be like a woman being allergic to her own husband skin, or sweat, or... whatever... ;)


You're missing the point. The intolerances are passed via the foods the wet nurse eats. That's why those of us whose kids have or had allergies and intolerances to foods cease to ingest them ourselves. When we breastfeed, we're in effect feeding them those foods.
Tranquil
Posted: Friday, February 08, 2013 11:31:59 PM

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I breast feed all three of my babies.. and loved every single minute... for someone to invade that connection would be hurtful...personally my baby wouldn't be away from me if he or she couldn't take my milk from a bottle and second if i was gone longer then stated and didn't leave enough milk. i would hope they would try boiled but cooled water....i would not want my child to stave but this is the one thing that only i can do for my child and therefore is my most important privilege to my baby at this time of his or her life.


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Guest
Posted: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 7:53:07 AM

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Personally I didn't like breast feeding my own babies. I would be pissed if a friend took it upon herself to b-feed my child. Unless you know for a fact she hasn't allowed herself alcohol or which meds are in her system.
DonDuzIt
Posted: Friday, February 22, 2013 1:04:06 PM

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Nothing new here. Wet nurses and willing moms have fed others for centuries. In the old south the black maids often nursed their white baby charges. Americans are so backward when it comes to breasts and their function.

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Guest
Posted: Friday, February 22, 2013 1:26:17 PM

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DonDuzIt wrote:
Nothing new here. Wet nurses and willing moms have fed others for centuries. In the old south the black maids often nursed their white baby charges. Americans are so backward when it comes to breasts and their function.


That was before people realised AIDs was so prevalent and learnt more about diseases that can be transmitted through breast milk. Not to mention the psychological effect it has on the child. There have been studies where children get confused when breastfed by a different woman and develop psychological issues like separation anxiety.
Ravyn
Posted: Friday, February 22, 2013 1:30:48 PM

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CurlyGirly wrote:


This!

I don't think I can put into words exactly how livid I would be if another mother breastfed my child without consent. angry7 angry7 angry7


Exactly. NO that is not okay.......WOW............

lafayettemister
Posted: Friday, February 22, 2013 2:06:14 PM

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DonDuzIt wrote:
Nothing new here. Wet nurses and willing moms have fed others for centuries. In the old south the black maids often nursed their white baby charges. Americans are so backward when it comes to breasts and their function.


Yes, but the mother of the child chose to have a wet nurse feed her baby. This mom didn't have the choice. And as mentioned above, the babysitter may not have known about any food allergies the baby may have had. Babysitter eats something the baby is allergic to, then nurses.. .the baby could become sick. Nothing wrong with nursing, but a third party shouldn't take it upon herself to do it.

Or if the babysitter used a different kind of laundry soap or bath soap or lotion.. all that have touched her breast that then touch the baby's mouth. Baby could be allergic.

Not to mention, it's just bad form. A simple phone would have been appropriate.





When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Guest
Posted: Friday, February 22, 2013 3:23:16 PM

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To me this is not okay. Breastfeeding is a time for a mother and her child to bond. I know I wouldn't want my child (which at the moment I'm not a mother) to bond in a similar way with someone else. I would be more than happy to leave a ton of breast milk in a bottle for whoever were to watch my child but I would be highly mad for someone else to do it. There are so many other things that the woman could have done to calm the baby down, breastfeeding wasn't one of them.
MoonlightSerenity
Posted: Friday, February 22, 2013 4:30:52 PM

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I'm with most of the comments against what people are saying about it.

At this young age I'm not a mother, but I do believe that unless the mother gives her permission for someone to breast feed their child then no-one else should do it.

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Naughtygrl73
Posted: Friday, February 22, 2013 5:52:35 PM

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Hell No this is not ok!
This is purely a gut response. Breast feeding is a very intimate thing that we share with our children, to have a baby sitter perform this task sets all my mothering instincts on high alert. I'm not sure why exactly, but it does. It makes me quite territorial. My baby, my duty, mine.

The risk of disease or allergic reaction aside, there is no way I would want anyone breast feeding any of my children unless we were in a situation that desperately required it. My best friend and I had this discussion many years ago while we were breast feeding our children and we both had the same response. We would do it only in an emergency.
It's pointless bringing up that in past generations the rich used wet nurses to feed their children. Different times. We have formula now if a mother chooses or is unable to breast feed her children and the social mores of the time have well and truly changed.
It's seems extremely irresponsible of the babysitter to do this without a phone call and to be honest I would be beyond furious if this occurred


Buz
Posted: Sunday, February 24, 2013 7:22:10 PM

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I think all 'wet nursing' should be pre-authorized.

Guest
Posted: Monday, February 25, 2013 10:22:33 PM

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I think the baby sitter should always receive the mother's consent beforehand. Also, HIV can be passed on through breast milk so that's something big to consider.
nazhinaz
Posted: Monday, February 25, 2013 10:47:13 PM

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In India breastfeeding another's kid would be considered as half kid of the girl who breastfed.
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