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For a guy, am I.........? Options · View
lustone
Posted: Saturday, January 26, 2013 6:47:26 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/28/2011
Posts: 18
Location: Over there, in the place with the people and stuff
As a guy, all I want right now is to love someone and have them love me back. Is it normal for this emotional neediness to occur? Does this make me any less of a man? Would women really take me seriously? Would my kind, caring and loving nature once again be taken advantage of? :( I'm sick of abusive relationships..
tampmark122
Posted: Saturday, January 26, 2013 8:13:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/19/2009
Posts: 278
Location: boston, United States
ditto
pixiedust65
Posted: Saturday, January 26, 2013 8:23:46 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 347
Location: Over the Rainbow, Canada
lustone wrote:
As a guy, all I want right now is to love someone and have them love me back. Is it normal for this emotional neediness to occur? Does this make me any less of a man? Would women really take me seriously? Would my kind, caring and loving nature once again be taken advantage of? :( I'm sick of abusive relationships..


All this leads me to believe that you have been in an abusive relationship. Maybe you being as you say " needy" is causing you to take the first thing that comes along. Just a guess. As for you being any less of a man, of course not.

Nikki703
Posted: Monday, January 28, 2013 8:18:51 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 12,661
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
pixiedust65 wrote:


All this leads me to believe that you have been in an abusive relationship. Maybe you being as you say " needy" is causing you to take the first thing that comes along. Just a guess. As for you being any less of a man, of course not.


I agree. If you appear to needy, you may attract women who just want to take advantage of your good nature. I know you want someone really bad, but dont settle. The right one will come along. Have faith!

And of course it doesnt make you less of a man.
Dani
Posted: Monday, January 28, 2013 5:24:02 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 4,648
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
If you always find yourself with women who constantly take advantage of your kind and loving nature, it's time to reevaluate. You can still be kind and loving WITHOUT being someone's doormat. As stated before me, there are women who prey on men like you. Sometimes we just get lonely, and in becoming lonely, we get desperate. Desperation leads to bad choices/decisions. So a woman may come along, and appear to be kind and loving as well, just to reel you in. And once that occurs, she'll pretty much milk you for anything you're willing to give her whether it's attention or something material, all the while seemingly reciprocating the love and affection you give her. This is easy enough to recognize, though. Watch out for women who monopolize all of your time and try to cut you off from everyone else. It may seem subtle and even endearing at first, but it wears on you after a while. Especially when she starts to demand your attention. She may even point out "bad" qualities she recognizes in your friends just so she can isolate you from them.

People with a nature like yours often recognize the signs when it's too late. You're so wrapped up in this person and cut off from everyone else, that there's really no turning back. So in this sense, be extremely careful.

Like I said, there's a way to be kind and loving and affectionate WITHOUT being a pushover. Put your foot down when necessary...and if this is something that the woman won't accept, then you know where you stand with her.

As far as answering your other questions, I wouldn't necessarily call it emotional neediness. But you're probably making yourself too emotionally available and vulnerable. And that's what makes it easy for other women to take advantage of you. They probably shower you with and deny you affection as it suits their needs. They exploit your vulnerabilities and basically have/keep you right where they want you.



Baby put your arms around me, tell me I'm a problem...

BallChinian
Posted: Monday, January 28, 2013 5:57:37 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/5/2013
Posts: 252
Location: NorCal, United States
I'm not sure why this is a question to the gals. It strikes me that it is the gals you are having a difficult time communicating with. Looking at your post I'd say you aren't asking the right questions. I'd bet pixiedusts virginity (sorry pix, it had to go sometimeangel7 ) that you have a tendency to choose either girls in relationships or that have serious problems that you want to "fix". They are emotionally unavailable and worse, emotional vampires that will suck you dry if you let them. Breaking this pattern is critical. Find a confident and unattached woman who doesn't "need" you. You need to be on even ground.

"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set her free." -Michelangelo


Please Enjoy: The Beach, The Workout, The Hike
pixiedust65
Posted: Monday, January 28, 2013 6:04:14 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 347
Location: Over the Rainbow, Canada
BallChinian wrote:
I'm not sure why this is a question to the gals. It strikes me that it is the gals you are having a difficult time communicating with. Looking at your post I'd say you aren't asking the right questions. I'd bet pixiedusts virginity (sorry pix, it had to go sometimeangel7 ) that you have a tendency to choose either girls in relationships or that have serious problems that you want to "fix". They are emotionally unavailable and worse, emotional vampires that will suck you dry if you let them. Breaking this pattern is critical. Find a confident and unattached woman who doesn't "need" you. You need to be on even ground.


That was rather unexpected. I wanted to keep that for a while.

As for your advice it was good.




oldhound
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 8:51:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 201
Location: Colorado Springs, United States
Ms Nikki, that old line of not settling, the right girl is out there, well maam, that is the hot rusty blade in a guys ches. Same with, everything happens for a reason. Yeah the reason is the girl always goes for the bbd, and what collateral damage occurs is giggled about in chat rooms or texts like Hunters boasting of their latest kill
overmykneenow
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 9:18:00 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 1,020
Location: United Kingdom
You obviously have a clear idea of how you think a relationship should work but you should really be clear in your head whether you want to be with a specific person or whether you're just in love with the idea of being in a relationship.

If a series or relationships end up going the same way, it becomes pretty obvious that the common denominator is you. That doesn't mean that you're doomed to a lifetime of shit relationships but you might need to reassess the type of woman you're attracted to and what your expectations are.

You say that you're needy but what form does this neediness take? Do you need to know where she is all the time? Who she's out with? The number lock on her phone? Or do you just need constant reassurance that she loves you, that you're a good boyfriend and that she won't abandon you. A lot of women won't find these attributes appealing, but others might. Others might just take advantage of what they see as a weakness.

Being a gentleman is more than just being a gentle man.

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead

NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 9:32:14 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,902
Location: California
lustone wrote:
As a guy, all I want right now is to love someone and have them love me back. Is it normal for this emotional neediness to occur? Does this make me any less of a man? Would women really take me seriously? Would my kind, caring and loving nature once again be taken advantage of? :( I'm sick of abusive relationships..






oldhound
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 9:32:31 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 201
Location: Colorado Springs, United States
Or you realize youre too damaged and rather than go through that searing, soul wrenching pain again, you just let the rage burn the need for a normal relationship away and show them the contempt they showed you.
CurlyGirly
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 10:05:21 AM

Rank: CurlyFries

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 1,776
Location: United States
oldhound wrote:
Ms Nikki, that old line of not settling, the right girl is out there, well maam, that is the hot rusty blade in a guys ches. Same with, everything happens for a reason. Yeah the reason is the girl always goes for the bbd, and what collateral damage occurs is giggled about in chat rooms or texts like Hunters boasting of their latest kill


"The girls" don't always go for anything! confused5 Every person is different in what they're looking for and, almost without exception, every person will be hurt in love at some point in their life. You get over it and move on or, well, you make a lot of posts like yours and wallow in it. angry7 Seeing that a guy is bitter with "burning rage" is not really a draw for most women and that certainly doesn't make the women bad.


oldhound wrote:
Or you realize youre too damaged and rather than go through that searing, soul wrenching pain again, you just let the rage burn the need for a normal relationship away and show them the contempt they showed you.


I certainly hope this is not the attitude you're projecting out there in the real world. If so, it certainly explains a few things. The OP is 19, and I certainly hope he hasn't given up on finding a healthy relationship at this stage in his life.





It won a potato. Aren't you intrigued?



oldhound
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 10:18:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 201
Location: Colorado Springs, United States
Some point in their life? Im 45, and it has never ended! I am now to the point I cant stop ”projecting” anger. I have the cool job, a cool history, done really cool stuff, yet still, its the pretty boys with a gangster edge that girls fall for. I have tried..and tried to be the nice guy and let this roll off my furry back, but I guess three decades is long enough.
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 10:30:08 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,902
Location: California
oldhound wrote:
I have tried..and tried to be the nice guy and let this roll off my furry back, but I guess three decades is long enough.


Well shave your fucking back... What girl wants to go out with a Chia pet?



CurlyGirly
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 10:35:56 AM

Rank: CurlyFries

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 1,776
Location: United States
oldhound wrote:
Some point in their life? Im 45, and it has never ended! I am now to the point I cant stop ”projecting” anger. I have the cool job, a cool history, done really cool stuff, yet still, its the pretty boys with a gangster edge that girls fall for. I have tried..and tried to be the nice guy and let this roll off my furry back, but I guess three decades is long enough.


Ok, you've mentioned that in a few different posts. Did you ever think of having it removed? I, and most women I know, remove excess/unwanted hair on a daily basis, so why shouldn't a man? I do find some hair on a guy attractive, but you're right that too much can be off putting. I'm sure most guys wouldn't want to date me if I didn't shave my legs and pits, right? I dated a guy years ago who had a bit too much fur on his back and was self conscious about it. He brought it up, and I suggested that he have it waxed, which he did and continued to do. Hell, I've had women friends who say they can grow a thicker mustache than most men, which they have removed.





It won a potato. Aren't you intrigued?



oldhound
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 10:40:32 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 201
Location: Colorado Springs, United States
Ok, shows what the focus is on...1) did shave, grows back in about five day. 2) used Nair, grows back in a week.3) wax failed, took skin with it.
CurlyGirly
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 10:43:54 AM

Rank: CurlyFries

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 1,776
Location: United States
oldhound wrote:
Ok, shows what the focus is on...1) did shave, grows back in about five day. 2) used Nair, grows back in a week.3) wax failed, took skin with it.


Focus? You're the one who keeps frigging mentioning it in every other post. Anyway, looks like you have all the answers you need, so enjoy your self pity, bitterness, and that ball of rage in your belly!


Three qualities, I might add, that I NEVER look for in a guy. confused5




It won a potato. Aren't you intrigued?



oldhound
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 10:49:24 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 201
Location: Colorado Springs, United States
Thank you for your input. And I tend to make too many references because its been there since I was a teen. Sorry and thank you for your time
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 10:50:56 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,902
Location: California
oldhound wrote:
Ok, shows what the focus is on...1) did shave, grows back in about five day. 2) used Nair, grows back in a week.3) wax failed, took skin with it.


You need to laser that shit off then.

Or get one of these things and have some "nice" girl go to town on that thicket.



Yeah, that thing plucks you like a chicken before getting tossed in a pot.



oldhound
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 11:48:01 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 201
Location: Colorado Springs, United States
Acthally no bs, tried it, jamed it up. And yeah, it burts lik e hell
Dudealicious
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 12:06:28 PM

Rank: Wise Ass

Joined: 11/12/2010
Posts: 5,413
Location: The center of the universe, Canada
oldhound wrote:
Acthally no bs, tried it, jamed it up. And yeah, it burts lik e hell




The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

Mazza
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 2:57:45 PM

Rank: Mazztastic

Joined: 9/20/2012
Posts: 3,040
Location: Scotland, United Kingdom
oldhound wrote:
Acthally no bs, tried it, jamed it up. And yeah, it burts lik e hell


OMG, you can't use it on longer hair or it will jam up... eeew

trim THEN epilate (I'm sure it says that in the instructions)

yikes


Guest
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 3:09:28 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,624
It doesn't make you less of a man. In my opinion, if you can admit your feelings and own them, you makes you more of a man. I may be wrong, though. Bottom line, though: it's not wrong unmanly to want to be loved, after all "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"
crazydiamond
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 3:15:27 PM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,286
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
Am i the only one thinking that if shaving , nairing or waxing only lasts a week or so.... Then do it weekly??

FFS How do you think women keep themselves hair free- Maintenance!

I'm not pitiying hair on you, we deal with it 24/7 to a point.

oldhound
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 3:15:54 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 201
Location: Colorado Springs, United States
Not an issue anymore, thanks for the replies,
Mazza
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 3:20:04 PM

Rank: Mazztastic

Joined: 9/20/2012
Posts: 3,040
Location: Scotland, United Kingdom
oldhound wrote:
Not an issue anymore, thanks for the replies,


Oh, what did you do? Laser removal? Glad you got it sorted!! (share please, all us gals would like to know!!)

oldhound
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 3:23:18 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 201
Location: Colorado Springs, United States
Removing desire to impress or be with any female. And no not going gay. Same issue, different gender
Mazza
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 3:33:35 PM

Rank: Mazztastic

Joined: 9/20/2012
Posts: 3,040
Location: Scotland, United Kingdom
oldhound wrote:
Removing desire to impress or be with any female. And no not going gay. Same issue, different gender


Oh...

I didn't know you could do that...


oldhound
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 3:38:12 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 201
Location: Colorado Springs, United States
Easy with enough fuel.for the.fire.
WellMadeMale
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 3:40:11 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,288
Location: Cakeland, United States
oldhound wrote:
Removing desire to impress or be with any female. And no not going gay. Same issue, different gender


How about doing what millions of people do these days and flip out the credit card, join one (or all) of the top five dating websites, hell... might as well take AdultFriendFinder for a spin too.

Be brutally honest about yourself in your self profile advertisement and be just as honest about the type of woman you are seeking.

She may be looking for a man such as yourself there too. Or maybe she has already, gotten pissed off cuz you're not there yet..and she's taking a break...but will look again in a few months.

And lay off the victim, woe-is-me routine. That's a total dry-pussy-maker, and an easy-mark show card for those who would see you as prey, Captain Save-a-Wench.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
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