she walked by my window when i was masturbating here on Lush

Before we met, we had both smoked some really good weed and got the munchies, so decided to leave our respective couches, to which we were in danger of being welded and go and get some from the shop. Whilst filling our respective trollies with all manner of munchies, we bashed into each other because we were too busy salivating over the last huge pizza in the shop. So stoned we were, that we really wanted the pizza, so one of us bought it and we shared it and lived happily munchieless ever after, until the next time we got the munchies, that is and had another chance meeting at the supermarket.

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I ran into you on one of my own munchie-seeking adventures. We looked into each others eyes and knew instantly there was no doubt that we were both heavily drugged. So drugged in fact, that neither of us could speak. Trying to be friendly, I held up a chocolate bar to see if you would like to share. You nodded your expressionless face but couldn't quite focus on my face. We started eating the chocolate, one for you, one for me, one for you, one for me, and so on and so forth.... Just then we were not so pleasantly surprised by the store manager, who dragged us into the Manager's office, where 2 police officer's were waiting for us. We were to be charged with shoplifting.

As there was NO evidence that we had stolen ANYTHING, we were allowed to go. I invited you back to my place and then I phoned Gurly to come and have a little party with us. He brought more chocolate and we all smoked ourselves into oblivion and all 3 of us woke in the morning lying on the living room floor. After a few hours Mr Music, you were able to gather your 6'10" body together and attempt to walk home. I'm not sure if you got there because I've never heard from you again. Andrew and I just got more stoneder.

I think you are still delerious Elit, it wasn't like that at all...........

I was out riding my horse in the grounds of my plantation in the 1800's. (yes we are very old)(maybe we are dead but anyhow) I was riding my horsey at full gallop when I suddenly saw what looked like a blonde head poke up over the tumbleweeds. I was riding so fast it was too late to stop my horsey so I had no alternative but to jump right over your head. Little did I know you were lying down facing me and your 6'7 body was trailing behind you.

Unfortunately my horsey landed on your feet, breaking both of them. I hurried back to see 2 feet lying at very odd angles. I picked you up and threw you over the back of my horse, (yes I did, I was an extremely strong girl) you were hanging over the back of my horse, head and feet dangling either side. I jumped up on my horsey (no I wasn't willing to walk all the way back to the homestead just for you) and landed flat on your back which broke 2 of your ribs because as I said earlier in this story, I was very strong, but also veeeeeery heavy.

Anyhow.... 2 broken feet and 2 broken ribs later, I finally arrived at the homestead where a couple of the stable hands unloaded you off the horse and tended to your wounds. That, my dear is the reason you are still delerious.

What were you doing laying amongst the tumbleweeds on my property anyway? You deserved what you got really.

NO NO NO, I think we both have it wrong, my excuse is that my drug addled brain just made a mistake. What is your excuse? That you dreamt that story inbetween flights from country to country?

We BOTH know how we met.

We had both registered on an 'erotic literature' site, just browsing around minding our own business. One day I got a PM in my inbox full of crap, rubbish, bullshit and more bullshit.) I would come to learn later that you are indeed, the King of Bullshit. You told me so yourself.

I read the first PM from you, a complete stranger and wondered WTF you were on about. I decided to play you at your own game, even though I had no idea who you were. I sent you a PM loaded with an equal amount of bullshit as you had sent me.

Thus ensued several PM's back and forth to/from eachother and all full of absolute bullshit. Like I said earlier, my excuse for speaking utter bullshit most of the time is because I smoke drugs, your excuse is that you are just....... full of BULLSHIT.

Regardless of all the bullshit, we became very good friends within a very very short space of time. Now we are great friends who cry on each others shoulders, pick each other up when we are down and generally tell each other what idiots we are for making the mistakes that brought us down in the first place.

You know very well THAT is the true story of how we met, and I'm so glad we did :)

EDITED TO ADD: I am NOT fat anymore. at all..... never will be again...

She showed up in her black lingerie with a broken wing. I took care of her till she could fly again.

I found the little lost girl strolling through ANTARCTICA! I took her arm gently and led her back home!

At the resort, I was your scuba instructor