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My gf and I are "seeing other people", but only online... Options · View
here_in_space
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2013 11:45:06 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/13/2013
Posts: 1
Location: Canada
Hello,

This is my first post!

I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half (I'm 28, she's 20). We openly communicate a lot about our sexual wants / needs, and explore alot of new things. That is what has led to the agreement that we are both welcome to pursue other relationships, exclusively online (her idea). I am straight, and my girlfriend is bi-sexual, (we are both interested in pursuing such relationships with women) and I've wondered what it's like for a bi-sexual person to be in a long term monogamous relationship. At any rate, I'm glad that we've been able to reach a point in our communication, where we can come to such an agreement, and feel solid and secure in the relationship we have together, in doing it.

So, it's not something I've acted on yet, and not really something I need, but I've been putting some thought into it here and there, and have become pretty intrigued by the idea of having an authorized private affair (kind of) with somebody online. The intention is basically, that we can each explore this privately, as long as it stays on the internet.

I'm very new to this type of thing, as I've never done anything like it before... no online dating or anything. I've done some searches on the internet, and have found that there are alot of resources which claim to be free, and turn out not to be. Also, I have an idea that it's hard to develop such relationships in alot of these places, as they are heavily diluted with people who I would consider to be creeps (I'm not saying that I'm right about this... I'm just being honest about the concept I have about it). I've asked my girlfriend about online resources, and she has suggested that this is a good place to start.

So, a couple things:

1) If anyone has something they'd like to share, about the dynamics of expanding into this exploration, while being in a physically monogamous relationship, I would like to hear about it.

2) Does anyone have any general tips about where to go online, or what to do, in order to create a relationship like this (I'm not really into spending money, to do it)

Thanks for reading~
blazestcyr
Posted: Thursday, February 14, 2013 5:58:14 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
she is ok with..you having an online affair with whomever you want?

is that what i am reading...so you and her can have as much cyber sex as you want as long as it is kept on the computer?

hmmmm....i am not a fan of open "relationships" as i dont share

but if you are going to do it...perhaps without meeting this is the safest way..to do it..

have to say...almost mature of you both

so its a masturbation thing with others..right

again i have to say you both are doing it right by posting here and asking for help to start it

so you can screen anyone first

good luck to you both and i sincerely say that

have to say you.. broaden my mind this valentines day!
Magical_felix
Posted: Thursday, February 14, 2013 8:44:53 AM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,866
Location: California
Pretty soon she is probably going to tell you that she wants to respect her new girlfriend's desire for her to no see anyone else. LOL good luck with all of that there, buddy.



BelleduJour
Posted: Friday, February 15, 2013 12:00:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,509
Location: Canada
My only advice is be VERY careful what you wish for. It's a slippery slope and one that often starts off with innocent and best of intentions only to end up blowing up in your face. Good luck either way.

Guest
Posted: Friday, February 15, 2013 1:46:11 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,464
I agree with the previous posters. This is a slippery slope. Best of luck to you. Hope things work out.
Guest
Posted: Monday, February 25, 2013 10:42:21 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,464
Agree with the above posts. It can be easy for someone to eventually develop feelings for someone, even without meeting them face to face. Lots of things can go wrong so I hope it's worth it and doesn't blow up.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, February 26, 2013 3:34:25 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,464
I also agree.... the heart does not know distance or "medium". What can start out as simple fun, can turn into something a lot more than that. So be careful.
hankyspanky
Posted: Tuesday, February 26, 2013 4:48:38 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/4/2012
Posts: 524
Location: wellington, New Zealand
Good,if u both share it all !
janet_haney
Posted: Tuesday, February 26, 2013 6:47:00 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 254
Location: United States
It can be fun if you do it together and share it
MrLosAngeles
Posted: Wednesday, February 27, 2013 7:27:54 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/11/2013
Posts: 484
Location: Marina del Rey, United States
I guess I'm failing to see what your gf and you have going on here. What are you bringing to the table of the relationship with her and she with you? If there's not much commitment going on, then aren't you just fuck buddies and if you're looking for others to have sex with, aren't they just fuck buddies, too?
Guest
Posted: Thursday, April 11, 2013 9:36:14 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 530,464
In my opinion, you cant be very committed to one another if you choose this lifestyle. I can not see your relationship surviving it.
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