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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 11/7/2011
Posts: 87
Location: Port Kembla, Australia
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 Barkeep, I'm going to need more than a beer. I need my Lush Friends help.... and yes this is a serious post. I met a woman last year. From the start we both felt it was like a fairy tale. I say both because she expressed this to me on multiple occasions. We both had been married and had kids so we agreed to take it slow. I truly wanted to be friends before getting serious. We waited until the third date before even kissing. But when we did it was like the largest fireworks display on steroids. We both felt it and could hardly talk afterwards. Six months into this and we both express that we are in this for life. I ask her about moving in together and even bought a ring to ask her to marry me. A week before her birthday she tells me that she doesn't see us in a long term relationship anymore. I was and still am beside myself. Its been several months and it is still killing me. Literally eating me up everyday. Mostly because she continues to text me about once every 3-4 weeks. "Just check on you, who are you doing" WTF!?!?! Then two weeks ago she starts texting me for several days in a row. I'm thinking she realized she made a mistake. So I secretly buy and ship her a Valentines day gift. They arrived today and she txt saying please dont send me anything. I'm seeing someone now. I finally told her to stop texting me and explained how it was effecting me. Then I deleted every number, email and contact info from my phone. I've never in my life experienced such a broken heart. I went days without sleep until I finally started drinking again. I can occasionally get a few hours sleep to function. Though I was married once before, I loved my wife but realized later I was not IN LOVE with her. This one I was IN LOVE with. This is a pain that I would never wish on anyone. I am in such a low place right now that I just need some friends. Please Help! 
my2cents
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 2/11/2013
Posts: 484
Location: Marina del Rey, United States
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Well, I don't mean to seem crass or unfeeling for you, mate, but seriously it's time to pull on your big boy pants and suck it up. Life's just jam-packed with incidents like this and you have to man up and take them in stride. Oh, you might get a little sympathy from the ladies for being such a sensitive guy and all, but you'll get more respect from everyone if you admit it happened and that you're bigger than it, not the other way around. Don't be bitter, don't be morbidly sad, just get on with life and smile even if it's with a couple fewer teeth from getting kicked in the grin. Just my two cents worth.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 1/19/2013
Posts: 162
Location: Chicago, United States
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Pretty much what MrLosAngeles said. But, I will add that you need to remember that there is someone else out there for you. You'll find her and probably somewhere you never thought to look. Good Luck to you.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 2,006
Location: Vancouver, Canada
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A broken heart IS painful. An ache that takes its sweet time in healing. As others who have had their heart broken can attest, the only two things that "fix" a broken heart is time and another love. Time goes slowly when you are aching and missing someone. Finding another love? I know you scoff at that one - but surprisingly it does, and likely will, happen! But you won't have it come into your life while you are pining for someone who doesn't want you. But in the meantime, I'd suggest a) getting busy so you are not moping; b) do something to "improve" yourself (something you've wanted to do, like lessons of some sort); and c) change YOUR number so she can't get in touch with you! The shitty thing is that with any other contact info, you will always be opening up your email/phone HOPING like fuck that there is something there from her saying "I want you back". Time will heal your heart .... and you will be surprised when one day, you realize you haven't thought of her in weeks/months/years! Quote:A heartbreak is a blessing from God. It’s just his way of letting you realize he saved you from the wrong one.
~Author Unknown
Another Sex in the Office Poem ( I know you love those!!) In Your OfficeMy Camera Contest Entry .... The Watchful Eyea love poem reflective of what a camera observes .... The CumSlut Series ... dedicated to Ben His CumSlut(milf/hotel sex) Good Morning, My CumSlut (oral sex)
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"The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play." - Arnold J. Toynbee |
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 44
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cheeseball wrote:Pretty much what MrLosAngeles said. But, I will add that you need to remember that there is someone else out there for you. You'll find her and probably somewhere you never thought to look. Good Luck to you. I have to agree with the above............... at the end of the day it's her loss and your gain.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/5/2010
Posts: 222
Location: London
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It will be painfull,but you have done the right thing by deleting her means of contact and with a positive attitude you will make new friends
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 261
Location: Pennsylvania
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I know at this point you can't see it, but it seems to me that she was hanging onto you as a "backup". Yes, it's painful, but the sooner you can see the games she's been playing, the sooner you can move on. Get out and do some things just for you, not looking to meet someone new, but just to make your own life fuller. Then, when you least expect it, you'll find yourself functioning fully and smiling and ready to meet someone that will cherish you.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 1/31/2013
Posts: 215
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I understand your statement you would never wish this feeling on anyone...
you are hurting..you are allowed to hurt..allow yourself the time grieve of what could have been, but at the same time you need to get back on with living...your hobbies you haven't touch for a while , start something new to bring in excitement...soon you will find this love you feel can be packed away in that little corner of your heart that it belongs in but won't rule you again.
take care
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 3,340
Location: California
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You should break into her house and toss a whole lot of gelatin (I mean A LOT) in all of her toilets. She won't realize on, first glance, that the water is solidified.... When she gets home from a night out with her new boyfriend, she will probably take a huge dump at some point. Of course it will just sit there in a steamy pile and she won't know what to do. It will stink... The new boyfriend will probably have to help her. He will have to get down and dirty with it and it will be insanely embarrassing to her and he will most likely be turned off by her for life after getting intimately introduced to her turds. It will be cathartic for you. Thank me later.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 8/21/2009
Posts: 733
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
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You have my sympathy on this and if you feel like crying go right ahead - stuff all that macho crap. The only cure is time - each time you get the familiar hopeless feeling it will hurt as brightly as before but it will happen less often. Eventually you will reach a point where it raises its horrible head and will still hurt but you can compartmentalize it until its duration is seconds. This will take some time - my 20 year marriage broke up and I had a lot of problems functioning; eventually I realised distraction was the key so take up some new project that requires a lot of thought and application like learning a foreign language. As your positive feelings move to the fore you will attract other people again but resign yourself that there is no instant cure. You also have to realise that it is you that is doing this to yourself - another hard thing to admit.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/5/2011
Posts: 326
Location: tanning on the beach
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get drunk
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 11/25/2012
Posts: 170
Location: Middle of Nowhere, United States
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A broken heart is a difficult thing to fix, but you're on the right path. It sounds cliche, but time does heal what's broken. Unfortunately, for those of us who want to do nothing while time does its part, it does take effort to get to that place. Go on with your life. Get a routine- that's what helped me the most. I would wake up at the same time every day, eat breakfast, go for a run and then start the day. It's not easy, by any means, but try to find some time every day or every other day to do something for you. I wouldn't encourage that activity to be drinking (for me it was running), but find something that's going to benefit you. Maybe try something new that you've always wanted to do? Keep living your life. One day you'll wake up and realize you've moved on. I feel your pain, though. It's not an easy place to be in.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 11/13/2011
Posts: 1,076
Location: Canada
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Like many, I know all to well what a broken heart feels like and can completely empathize with you. It's fine and even healthy to spend a few moment grieving the fail of that relationship, it shows you cared about it and her BUT then it's time to buck up and move on even if you're just pretending - fake it until you make it! Deleting all her contact information is an awesome start so congratulations for having the courage to follow through on that. Moving on and getting past the hearbreak won't be easy but you will live and life goes on and love will indeed blossom once again when you're ready for it. Stay strong and please don't let this experience taint you for other relationships. Learn from it and use it to better yourself. Good luck!
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 2/27/2010
Posts: 83
Location: The Bronx
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Call me!
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 5/4/2013
Posts: 4
Location: Fort Sill, United States
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A broken heart is painful. Especially, being married to someone and that person decides they just love you and not in love with you. They start finding interest in other people, lying, sneaking around. If you weren't willing to put 100% in your marriage and work for something you pledged your life to, how do you expect someone to take you serious? That's just selfish.
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Rank: Advanced Wordsmith
Joined: 10/13/2012
Posts: 80
Location: United States
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It hurts. A broken heart hurts like nothing else. There is nothing you can take to make the pain go away aside from time. Don't deny yourself the time to get to know yourself again, feel the pain, the hurt, the anguish. Wallow in self pity if you must, hey, some of us just need to do that. And then, after the darkest night, when the new day is beginning to dawn, you suddenly realize that it hurts just a little less. That my dear, is progress. You will get through it. It just takes time. Sure it hurts, the pain is as real as if you were stabbed with an actual knife. It feels like there's an elephant on your chest that refuses to get off, you can't breathe, you can't eat, you can't sleep. Just remain confident in the fact that eventually, you will feel better, the sun will rise again, and you will love again.
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 5/13/2013
Posts: 1
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I have found this poem to be helpful...
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 1/25/2012
Posts: 397
Location: United States
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She sounds like a real game player and manipulator. I have been where you are too many times in my life.
Start doing the things you used to do before you met her.
I know you posted this question some time ago but an update would be appreciated.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 4/25/2013
Posts: 135
Location: The Whistle Stop Cafe, United States
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suezq wrote:I know at this point you can't see it, but it seems to me that she was hanging onto you as a "backup". Yes, it's painful, but the sooner you can see the games she's been playing, the sooner you can move on. Get out and do some things just for you, not looking to meet someone new, but just to make your own life fuller. Then, when you least expect it, you'll find yourself functioning fully and smiling and ready to meet someone that will cherish you. I am in the same boat and I must agree with the above. You should be number one... Have faith in love and in yourself... Good luck and I hope you find that perfect one...
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