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Xara
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2007 5:59:54 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/17/2006
Posts: 34
Location: texas
I just posted a story. It is unfinished. This is the first time I have ever tried to write anything.
The name of the story is "Sofia".
I would appreciate any comments or suggestions any of you might have for me.
And please do not sugar coat it....I can handle it!
Thank you!
nicola
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2007 12:39:05 AM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,486
Location: The Orgasmatron
Xara wrote:
I just posted a story. It is unfinished. This is the first time I have ever tried to write anything.
The name of the story is "Sofia".
I would appreciate any comments or suggestions any of you might have for me.
And please do not sugar coat it....I can handle it!
Thank you!


I like how descriptive you've been, building up suspense rather than diving straight into the action. I rather liked where the story was heading too.

Maybe post it as Chapter One, which looks finished, and continue working on the second Chapter - which you can link to from the first. How long is it going to go for do you imagine?

Anyone else have any feedback for Xara? Let's give her some support! book
Xara
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2007 8:42:00 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/17/2006
Posts: 34
Location: texas
Thank you, Lush.
I had hoped more of the other "more experienced" authors would be willing to comment, but, apparently not.
No matter. I have added to my story and consider it to be finished.

If I suck....then I suck...just wish someone had the balls to tell me so.
SusanEngland
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2007 11:20:49 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/21/2007
Posts: 458
Location: England
Xara wrote:
Thank you, Lush.
I had hoped more of the other "more experienced" authors would be willing to comment, but, apparently not.
No matter. I have added to my story and consider it to be finished.

If I suck....then I suck...just wish someone had the balls to tell me so.


Stand by Xara - do not despair fair maiden - feedback in a few hours from me LOL
I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I was the same when I very nervously posted my first story.
(But how another woman can have the balls to tell you I don't know !!!)
nicola
Posted: Tuesday, May 15, 2007 2:12:13 AM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,486
Location: The Orgasmatron
Thanks Susan.

I don't want to encourage people heading offsite as it were, but if you are looking for a variety of feedback on this story, you might like to try over at Desdmona's fishtank - they specialise in doing exactly what you're after:

Quote:
The Fish Tank is a service to authors of erotic fiction who wish to receive constructive feedback on their writing. The point is to get specific feedback on what works and what doesn’t work in a story, with hopes that the author will improve his or her writing.


You can find the link here: http://www.lushstories.com/forum/Default.aspx?g=posts&t=151

flower
Curious2c
Posted: Tuesday, May 15, 2007 9:12:06 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
I started to read your story but got side-tracked and it will be a day or so before I have a chance to really sit down and read it...but I will, and I will give you a fair and honest opinion...or feedback. As an author I know the importance of feedback, and I want to encourage others to write if they feel a story in them somewhere. I will be back with feedback, count on it.
Xara
Posted: Tuesday, May 15, 2007 11:47:03 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/17/2006
Posts: 34
Location: texas
Thank you!
I will look forward to it.
Curious2c
Posted: Thursday, May 17, 2007 10:06:08 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,741
I found your writing to be enticing and interesting. In reading your story I found myself wondering about Sophia and then I discovered that I want the story to go on. Please finish this one. While I don't normally go for the Mdom type stories such as this, I still find it draws me in. Very good.
nicola
Posted: Friday, May 18, 2007 5:31:18 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,486
Location: The Orgasmatron
Looks like you're going to have to finish what you started now miss xara hello1 hello1 happy1
vatsyaya
Posted: Friday, August 31, 2007 7:41:03 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 8/31/2007
Posts: 37
Honestly speaking, writing an erotic story is the most difficult task under the sun. Realistically speaking, the action is more or less similar in most stories and apart from a few modifications here and there, a writer can't do much about it. That is why writing erotic story is so difficult yet rewarding. Being a male, I must confess that I always rate those stories very high that make me stop in between looking for relief. By that yardstick, I must say that your story is very very very very very exciting! ( please count the number of 'very's ). Good work!
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