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Advice for first date with really cute girl please? Options · View
ballstothewall
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 10:19:53 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/3/2011
Posts: 6
Location: United States
I'm going on a date with this girl I met on okcupid. She is by far the cutest girl I'll have ever gone out with. I usually have really bad luck with finding girls that are interesting and attractive to me. I really don't want to screw this up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Here are the main things I'm interested in:

Compliments on her looks? On what and how far?

Let her pick the movie and restaurant or be more assertive? She's vegan by the way.

I always pay for my first dates.

How to be confident in general and how to not go as far to be cocky. I recently lost 70 lbs but I'm still not a skinny guy. She is super skinny and beyond cute. I'm afraid I won't meet her standards.

What to do to avoid awkward silences. Topics for conversation.

Anything else would be wonderful too. :) I'm a 22 year old college student by the way and so is she. Thank you in advance.


Sarah84
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 10:24:01 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 11/16/2011
Posts: 54
Location: JNB, South Africa
For once in your life, think with the big brain and not the small brain. Focus completely on her happiness, comfort and making her feel confident. Remember, every girl you meet is somebody's sister, daughter, cousin, friend.... treat her as you would like one of your mates to treat your sister, cousin, friend etc.
ballstothewall
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 10:51:33 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/3/2011
Posts: 6
Location: United States
Haha thanks Sarah. I like to believe I think with the big brain quite a bit and I'm always trying to make the girls in my life happy. They come before me. I didn't mean to come off shallow if that's how it sounded. :/ I just really like this girl, in both her attractiveness and personality. I really just want to know how I can make her like both of these regarding me. (Along with the other points I mentioned).
trinket
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 3:11:12 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 9,927
Location: Nowhere near you, Australia
ballstothewall wrote:
I'm going on a date with this girl I met on okcupid. She is by far the cutest girl I'll have ever gone out with. I usually have really bad luck with finding girls that are interesting and attractive to me. I really don't want to screw this up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Here are the main things I'm interested in:

Compliments on her looks? On what and how far?

Let her pick the movie and restaurant or be more assertive? She's vegan by the way.

I always pay for my first dates.

How to be confident in general and how to not go as far to be cocky. I recently lost 70 lbs but I'm still not a skinny guy. She is super skinny and beyond cute. I'm afraid I won't meet her standards.

What to do to avoid awkward silences. Topics for conversation.

Anything else would be wonderful too. :) I'm a 22 year old college student by the way and so is she. Thank you in advance.



You sound like an old fashioned guy and I think that's nice. Here are a few suggestions.

Don't be afraid! If she is going out with you she obviously likes you. Be confident. It's normal to have a few little butterflies in your tummy.

When you meet her smile, ask her how she is, or just "hello, you look lovely" and call her by her NAME.

Just before you see her, take a couple of deep breaths and concentrate on relaxing. Remember, she is possibly just as nervous as YOU. Before you go out, I mean in the few days before you go out, get a little piece of paper and write down a few light topics you might want to talk about if there are any awkward silences, and there probably WON'T be. You know her, you know what she's studying at college, ask her about that.

I promise you that after the first 10 or 15 minutes you will start to relax.
Personally I think you should ask her to a movie.. that way you can have a little chat beforehand, then while you are in the movie you don't have to say anything much at all! There is less pressure on both of you for a while and for God's sakes don't try to kiss her during the movie, wait till you're saying goodbye.

how to appear confident enough but not appear cocky? Don't pretend you know about a particular subject when you don't just for her benefit because it won't come across as sincere. Talk about things you know about. Talk to HER, look at her face. When some people get nervous, they talk as they look around the room, look at her face and not her boobies. She WILL catch you doing it if you do LOL.

If opening car doors and pulling out chairs are your thing, (and I get the feeling they are) do it but don't do it if you aren't planning on doing it after that. A lot of people are going to roll their eyes at me for saying that, but I think it's sweet and some guys still do it. I was married to my ex for 5 years, he still opened the car door for me and I loved that he did it. He still ended up running off with someone else, but that's beside the point. He did that for 'me'. Now I would just slam his hand in the door :)

GOOD LUCK with everything and I would love to hear how it went! :)


Delphi
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 4:24:54 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 6/30/2012
Posts: 1,187
Location: United States
Everything Trinket said!

I don't think the pressure is there to mention anything specific about her looks. Just smile and tell her she's beautiful if you feel like you need to say something.

I'm guessing if you know what she looks like, she's seen you too. So don't be self conscious. Trust her to know what she wants.

Lastly, congrats on your 70 lb weight loss! That is an amazing accomplishment! cheerleader



The Delphi/NaughtyNurse collaboration - a Recommended Read
WellMadeMale
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 1:02:57 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,212
Location: Cakeland, United States
1st date - surprise her and blanket her with affection, attention and complete domination.

When you pick her up, present her with a dozen red roses & a dozen white roses & a dozen yellow roses. Chicks who are into this kind of thing, will know what the colored roses mean. You will probably need to Google this shit so I won't spoil your own surprise lesson.

Rest assured, you'll be hitting all the bases as you smash that first pitch against the deep left center field wall and start to leg out your triple!

You can afford 36 roses, because your first dinner date - you'll be taking her home to meet your parents & sample Mom's home cooking. This will show her what your intentions are right up front. If she's paying attention, she'll receive a primer on how you like your food to be prepared AND...there's the added bonus of her realizing pretty quickly, that you're serious about her and your new 24x7x365 monogamous relationship.

This is your first step, make it count!

Do not try to get into her panties. Keep your hands to yourself. Perhaps a light kiss/peck upon her cheek at the front door to her residence. Give her a big old bear hug to show her the depth of your emotions. Squeeze the living shit out of her. Keep your tongue in your mouth, no matter how much you want to slurp her no doubt super wet slit. She'll be creaming from the moment she realizes that dinner & a movie - is an evening at your folks house.

All the women have given good advice so far as well. Look her in the eyes, don't talk THROUGH her or AT her, but to her. Ask open ended questions which force her to reply with something more than - Yes or No answers.

For instance, do not ask: Do you want kids and how soon. Re-phrase this with: I'd like to have four children, 2 girls and 2 boys, with the boys being oldest and hence protective of their sisters and I'd like for you to start spitting them out by the age of 26 and roughly spaced apart every 18 months - so you will be able to bond to them as they suckle breast milk from your exquisite breasts. What names for our children would you like to debate me over?

That's a fine leading question - IMO.

You might also inquire about what she thinks her career might be (she is after all, going to university - I assume, and if not - then that is a bonus, as she'll really be into the child bearing thing sooner). Show her that you care, but in the long run - you are the decision maker of this new and long lasting relationship...so while her input is somewhat important, You're The Boss - The.Man. Act like one.

She'll more than likely be very impressed and enamored and you'll definitely get this 1st date off on the right foot.

Incidentally - wait til the 9th date before trying to get your hands on her super fine titties (but always refer to them as breasts in her presence)...

I am sure you will do very well, indeed. These techniques have always worked for me.

Best Regards -

WMM

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
trinket
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 3:06:51 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 9,927
Location: Nowhere near you, Australia
WellMadeMale wrote:
1st date - surprise her and blanket her with affection, attention and complete domination.

When you pick her up, present her with a dozen red roses & a dozen white roses & a dozen yellow roses. Chicks who are into this kind of thing, will know what the colored roses mean. You will probably need to Google this shit so I won't spoil your own surprise lesson.

Rest assured, you'll be hitting all the bases as you smash that first pitch against the deep left center field wall and start to leg out your triple!

You can afford 36 roses, because your first dinner date - you'll be taking her home to meet your parents & sample Mom's home cooking. This will show her what your intentions are right up front. If she's paying attention, she'll receive a primer on how you like your food to be prepared AND...there's the added bonus of her realizing pretty quickly, that you're serious about her and your new 24x7x365 monogamous relationship.

This is your first step, make it count!

Do not try to get into her panties. Keep your hands to yourself. Perhaps a light kiss/peck upon her cheek at the front door to her residence. Give her a big old bear hug to show her the depth of your emotions. Squeeze the living shit out of her. Keep your tongue in your mouth, no matter how much you want to slurp her no doubt super wet slit. She'll be creaming from the moment she realizes that dinner & a movie - is an evening at your folks house.

All the women have given good advice so far as well. Look her in the eyes, don't talk THROUGH her or AT her, but to her. Ask open ended questions which force her to reply with something more than - Yes or No answers.

For instance, do not ask: Do you want kids and how soon. Re-phrase this with: I'd like to have four children, 2 girls and 2 boys, with the boys being oldest and hence protective of their sisters and I'd like for you to start spitting them out by the age of 26 and roughly spaced apart every 18 months - so you will be able to bond to them as they suckle breast milk from your exquisite breasts. What names for our children would you like to debate me over?

That's a fine leading question - IMO.

You might also inquire about what she thinks her career might be (she is after all, going to university - I assume, and if not - then that is a bonus, as she'll really be into the child bearing thing sooner). Show her that you care, but in the long run - you are the decision maker of this new and long lasting relationship...so while her input is somewhat important, You're The Boss - The.Man. Act like one.

She'll more than likely be very impressed and enamored and you'll definitely get this 1st date off on the right foot.

Incidentally - wait til the 9th date before trying to get your hands on her super fine titties (but always refer to them as breasts in her presence)...

I am sure you will do very well, indeed. These techniques have always worked for me.

Best Regards -

WMM



WHAT?? if he does all that, she'll hit him over the head with the dinner plate and run out of there as fast as she can! WITHOUT finding out how he likes his food cooked!




MrLosAngeles
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 3:20:38 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/11/2013
Posts: 484
Location: Marina del Rey, United States
Well, you're both at college so you can share that experience with some confidence; things that you like and don't like, find your mutual ones and laugh at them. One or two sincere compliments is fine, but DO NOT gush with them (She'll think you're creepy or lame). Be positive - don't get off on ranting about anything even if you feel strongly about it. Don't TRY to make jokes, but if something strikes you funny, share it. Be honest in your feelings. Don't worry about being awkward, it's often endearing. If you come off as too "smooth", she'll think you're being a player. Don't try to impress her, especially with lies. She'll see right through them. Be as much of "yourself" as you dare, even if the date doesn't work out at least you won't have been a douchebag. At the end of the date, tell you really enjoyed it and would like to see her again. Follow up.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 5:19:19 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,130
ballstothewall wrote:
I'm going on a date with this girl I met on okcupid. She is by far the cutest girl I'll have ever gone out with. I usually have really bad luck with finding girls that are interesting and attractive to me. I really don't want to screw this up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Here are the main things I'm interested in:

Compliments on her looks? On what and how far?

Let her pick the movie and restaurant or be more assertive? She's vegan by the way.

I always pay for my first dates.

How to be confident in general and how to not go as far to be cocky. I recently lost 70 lbs but I'm still not a skinny guy. She is super skinny and beyond cute. I'm afraid I won't meet her standards.

What to do to avoid awkward silences. Topics for conversation.
Anything else would be wonderful too. :) I'm a 22 year old college student by the way and so is she. Thank you in advance.


Ask her if she swallows.evil4

College you say? First of forget the flowers, flowers die and she'll hope you do too if you don't hit it off with her. Bring her a bag of some really high quality weed, i recommend lemon kush. You should have plenty of things to talk about then and if the conversation does run dry, you can just blame that on cotton mouth.
Regaeman Man
ballstothewall
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 6:07:39 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/3/2011
Posts: 6
Location: United States
Thanks for the advice everyone! :)
Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 6:20:26 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,130
ballstothewall wrote:
Thanks for the advice everyone! :)
No problem, just do yourself a favor and don't follow Trinket's or wellmademales advice. As a matter of fact i would just call the whole thing off if i were you.Read it
KatR
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 6:42:18 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/19/2013
Posts: 311
Location: United States
ballstothewall wrote:
I'm going on a date with this girl I met on okcupid. She is by far the cutest girl I'll have ever gone out with. I usually have really bad luck with finding girls that are interesting and attractive to me. I really don't want to screw this up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Here are the main things I'm interested in:

Compliments on her looks? On what and how far?
Don't overdo the compliments, too many sounds insincere or like you are only into her looks and getting into her panties; feel out what interests you have in common, what you both plan to do after college, favorite books, movies, music, etc. There has to be more than looks and lust to build a relationship on.

Let her pick the movie and restaurant or be more assertive? She's vegan by the way.
You don't know her well enough to know if she likes assertiveness? You could tell her you have a certain restaurant or movie in mind, watch her reaction and then adjust accordingly if you need to. Do that face to face so you can read her reaction; you can't tell by phone and certainly not by text.

I always pay for my first dates.
Again, you want to date her but you can't ask her if you paying feels like you want her obligated to you? Ask with a story of when you paid for a date and when you went Dutch and see how she reacts to both stories.

How to be confident in general and how to not go as far to be cocky. I recently lost 70 lbs but I'm still not a skinny guy. She is super skinny and beyond cute. I'm afraid I won't meet her standards.
She sees something in you worth dating or she wouldn't have said yes. I assume your relationship is based on something less shallow than your looks and hers.

What to do to avoid awkward silences. Topics for conversation.
Being comfortable and confident just being in each other's presence without feeling the need to say something every second, without feeling awkward about it, can be VERY sexy.

Anything else would be wonderful too. :) I'm a 22 year old college student by the way and so is she. Thank you in advance.
22 is so young, she's probably as nervous as you are. Relax and have fun and don't overthink everything.


freakycactus
Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 2:36:15 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 5/12/2010
Posts: 409
Location: On my cloud, United Kingdom
Follow Trinket's advice and you'll be fine. Good luck!

Jack_42
Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 4:34:56 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/21/2009
Posts: 978
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
Tell her once she looks great (because she will have gone to some trouble getting ready), talk about her with open questions she will respond with her questions and the conversation will start to flow. Relax she agreed to the date so she's interested - be yourself. Personally i would prefer a dinner date rather than the movies or maybe a mixture of both.
Bothsidesnow
Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 5:30:09 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 12/27/2012
Posts: 46
I would avoid boasting about the size of your genitals if I were a you. Likewise don't be too specific about her breasts - admire them, but don't fondle them before the main feature.
overmykneenow
Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 7:37:05 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2010
Posts: 967
Location: United Kingdom
Movie with a person she's never met before? Wouldn't be my first choice. "Let's go somewhere dark where we don't have to talk"

If you want her to feel comfortable and secure in the situation let her have the say on where you go and what you do. That doesn't mean leaving it all up to her - give her options, let her choose. It might be worthwhile in the long term to ask if she would have a problem with you eating meat on a date.

Looks are obviously a key motivator for you but i wouldn't get hung up on them in a date situation. Super skinny girls can be every bit as insecure about their body as larger girls. Compliment her, not how she appears.

Silences don't have to be awkward, unless of course they come straight after a question. Don't ask her about anything you don't really care about - she'll know.

Make an effort with your appearance. She will.

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

Why not read some stories instead
MrLosAngeles
Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 8:04:24 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/11/2013
Posts: 484
Location: Marina del Rey, United States
Bathe, have a shave, and dress well for your first date. A stiff-brim straw hat (boater) and a striped blazer with brass buttons is always a good choice. Don't gulp father's whiskey and leer at mother when they invite you into the parlour to wait for their daughter to descend the stairs. With any luck, she may be a fast girl and flirt by showing a little ankle beneath her gown. Don't ogle, fondle, and make honking sounds when you pin the corsage upon her bosom. Gently place your hand beneath her elbow to direct her in avoiding any horse droppings in the street. Be a gentleman and don't get into fisticuffs with any hooligans who may catcall, whistle, or ask her "How much for a quickie?" When you arrive at the moving picture show, resist putting the whoopee cushion on her chair before she sits (Yes, we know it's a good way to break the ice). Buy her refreshments, but do not (on a first date) put your whatsits through the bottom of the popcorn box before offering her a handful. Inquire of her what her father's curfew time is (example: 10:00 PM, midnight, next Thursday) and do not exceed the limit unless she's a total raver and insists on sex (oral, missionary, anal) in the carriage as you drive around the park before escorting her properly to her door. If she allows a tiny kiss on the cheek at the end of the date, immediately go to your favorite saloon and brag to all your male friends that you "got lucky" using her full name and address to drag her reputation through the muck. NOTE: If sex (ha ha!) occurs during the date, be sure to wear a French letter to avoid pregnancy or social disease. If you consider the date successful, telegram her to request her presence for an engagement for New Year's Eve. Happy 1907!
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 8:27:40 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,536
Location: California
Just get her laughing. easier said than done, I know. But really, besides her being attracted to you physically, it's probably the most important thing on a first date.

Also when you are walking into and out of a place, open the door but also place your hand on her lower back. Girls like that. It's non-aggressive physical contact but it can also be stimulating to her in many ways. It can make her comfortable and also maybe crave a little more contact by the end of the night.

Remember, funny. Try to be funny but not stupid. It is still the most important thing.



crazydiamond
Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 12:53:49 PM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,285
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
overmykneenow wrote:
Movie with a person she's never met before? Wouldn't be my first choice. "Let's go somewhere dark where we don't have to talk"

If you want her to feel comfortable and secure in the situation let her have the say on where you go and what you do. That doesn't mean leaving it all up to her - give her options, let her choose.[size=6 It might be worthwhile in the long term to ask if she would have a problem with you eating meat on a date.[/size]



Is that a euphemism? bunny x

(what time are you picking me up?)kekekegay

kinkygirl
Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 1:37:34 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/14/2010
Posts: 11,456
Location: In your dreams, United States
I'm thinking that if you listen to most of the replies in here it will be a short date and you will be lucky to escape with your balls. A few were serious and gave good advice.

Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 1:54:24 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 5,945
Location: In your dirty fantasies
First of all - be chill. Be funny. Keep it light and fun and make sure to flirt. It's a first date and you're both in your early twenties. There's no need to get overly caught up in old-fashioned chivalry and proprieties.

You pick the restaurant/bar. You both decide on the movie together (ie. "Hey, what have you seen? In the mood for a comedy? Have you seen XYZ that everyone's talking about?"). No need to make it more complicated than it is. To be honest, I'm more in favour of something like drinks/apps at a cool bar and maybe seeing a bit of live music or something (but not sure what your city offers). Dinner + movie is a very lowkey/formal atmosphere for a first date and sometimes a more dynamic vibe helps keep the connection fresh and interesting.

Topics for conversation - it should just flow, unless you're both extremely introverted. If at a total loss for what to say - ask her questions and keep her talking about herself - but not in a creepy fact-finding way. Talk about places you've traveled to or want to travel to, funny things that have happened to you and your friends, school, TV/music/media/current events. Make sure you're both laughing at various points and keeping it lively. If it has an overly sober tone or feels like a job interview, change the pace.

Do not bring up the following: exes and past relationship issues, desire for a committed relationship, five year plan involving fast-tracking to marriage/kids, health ailments, emotionally traumatic experiences, dead pets or relatives, childhood issues resulting in emo sadness, expectations, overly probing into her privacy, her schedule for the next several weeks etc. Basically - just observe the TMI (too much info) rule.

Even if you're seeing her as the future mother of your children - always downplay.

If you don't plan on kissing her at the end of it or hooking up, flirt enough so that she's not seeing you as a boring friend-zone guy. Make sure she knows you like her. Even subtle things like intimate eye contact, body language, little touches - things like that can go a long way.

Do not bring or send flowers at this stage - it comes across as excessive and desperate.


Nikki703
Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 3:25:20 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 12,324
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
You have been given a lot of great advice and a lot of terrible advice so it is up to you to figure out which is which I can give you more but that really wont help so all I am going to say is take it very light. When ever I went on a tirst date, the best ones were where we went to a casual dinner in a place that was not too loud so we could talk and get to know each other. I always hated movie first dates. I want to talk, not sit in adark theater wondering what you are like. Be a gentlemen but not a desperate push over either. Chances are she will decide in the first 5 minutes whether she will see you again. Just be yourself because if you dont, you will have to play that role forever and you will slip up! Show her you like her and are interested in being more than friends (assuming you are of course) but dont come on like a desperate school boy on his first date ever.

I guess I did give advice afterall. Just have fun and if it doesnt work out, the next one might.
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 04, 2013 3:59:02 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,130
Be chill there is no need to freak out anymore because the hardest part is out of the way she said yes. Don't worry about meeting her standards because she agreed to go out with you so she obviously saw something in you. Nothing too expensive or upscale its a first day she should feel comfortable and be able to get to know your personality. Relax, KCCO
Delphi
Posted: Friday, March 08, 2013 5:28:14 PM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 6/30/2012
Posts: 1,187
Location: United States
Magical_felix wrote:

Also when you are walking into and out of a place, open the door but also place your hand on her lower back. Girls like that. It's non-aggressive physical contact but it can also be stimulating to her in many ways. It can make her comfortable and also maybe crave a little more contact by the end of the night.


So true. No idea why, but it's incredibly sexy.



The Delphi/NaughtyNurse collaboration - a Recommended Read
fuckherharder
Posted: Thursday, July 11, 2013 5:48:52 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/11/2013
Posts: 1
I know it's a bit late now, but you never updated us. How did it go? Did we give good advice or shitty advice?
wingedangel
Posted: Thursday, July 11, 2013 11:28:57 PM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/26/2013
Posts: 52
Location: United States
Don't flirt. Be natural. Be yourself. :D

Code:
[size=9][color=red]Love is the best thing we do.[/color][/size]
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