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Transgendered child banned from using girls' restroom at school. Options · View
lafayettemister
Posted: Thursday, February 28, 2013 7:40:14 AM

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Posts: 6,341
Location: Alabama, United States
abc news story

CNN news story

The cliffnotes version..

Coy was a born one of triplets, a boy at birth. According to Coy's parent, Coy "behaved like a girl since 18 months old". As Coy grew she always dressed and acted like a girl, even in school. In kindergarten (she's in 1st. grade now), she used the girl's restroom. However, in December her school informed her parents that she is no longer allowed to use the girl's restroom. She may only use the boy's restroom, gender neutral faculty restroom, or the Nurse's bathroom.

The school district says they are accommodating Coy's needs while at the same time taking the needs and concerns of other students and parents as equally important.

Coy's parents and the Transgender Legal and Defense Education Fund believe Coy's civil rights have been violated.


Touchy issue. Obviously, 6yrs old is too young to have any sort of surgeries to alter the genitalia of anyone. And in 1st grade it may not be a big issue for anyone but as Coy grows older and his body develops, how will "normal" girls feel about having a girl with male genitalia in their restroom? The school is kinda caught in the middle.

How can the school be sensitive to Coy's needs while at the same time shielding other kids from some of life's realities that they may not be ready to deal with? Did they do enough to accommodate her needs enough or should they have just left things alone? Better to make the change now than in 3rd, 4th, or 5th grade?







When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Dani
Posted: Thursday, February 28, 2013 9:19:40 AM

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I believe the school has done a great job accommodating Coy's needs, given the circumstances. The needs of one student shouldn't override the needs of all the others. Despite her actions and psyche, Coy is still physically a male. So this is a conundrum indeed. How do we keep Coy's civil rights intact without violating the rights and privacy of the other students? And what happens when Coy gets older and has to change in the locker room for P.E.? Should she be allowed to change in the girl's locker room?

I hate the way this is gonna sound, but the well being of an entire group of students shouldn't be pushed to the side to accommodate the needs of one. I'd like to see how the parents of the rest of the students feel.



We're tiny. We're toony. We're all a little looney. And in this cartoony, we're invading your TV.

niceguy89
Posted: Thursday, February 28, 2013 9:43:46 AM

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If only people were more understanding. This girl has a hard life ahead.
sprite
Posted: Thursday, February 28, 2013 12:03:32 PM

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niceguy89 wrote:
If only people were more understanding. This girl has a hard life ahead.


for once, we agree on something. :)

here's the things, like Dani said, there's more than just the girl (and yes, i consider Coy a girl) involved here. as she and her classmates get older, it will become an issue - sexuality will be discovered, and frankly, the comfort level of young girls having to share a locker room or a bath room with someone they see as a guy, would be very difficult at best. i think that the school is doing it's best to treat this in a respectful and thoughtful manner in regards to everyone involved. that said, i would hope that, the students themselves, as they become aware enough and mature enough eventually take in on themselves to solve this dilemma - how cool would it be if the girls at her HS all sat down with the principal and said 'hey, we're ok with this, Coy's a girl, let's try to come up with a solution, such as X" ? maybe, they'll surprise us, i mean, at that point, Coy will have been living among the general population as a girl and they might just see her as such? this is a tough one, honestly, for everyone. kind of breaks my heart a little.
elitfromnorth
Posted: Friday, March 01, 2013 5:23:12 AM

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I think that in these cases you have to be square and say that it's up to biology. If your biology says male, then you have to use the men's bathroom. The reason I think so is to actually protect transgenders. If you say "Ok, so he wears girl's clothes, then we'll let him use the girl's bathroom and locker room for PE". Before you know it you have some fucked up boys that show up in girls clothes and say "I just grew the confidence to show who I really am". You could end up with the case that transgenders gets suspected as nothing but pervs who wants to get free acess to the ladies' rooms.

It's a difficult case, but I think it's really sad that a 6 yo have been put in the middle of this. Coy should be living in ignorant bliss and just be told to use the gender neutral bathrooms. When he gets older and all the girls in the class goes "Sure, she can change with us." then let Coy change with the girls.

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
foxjack
Posted: Friday, March 01, 2013 10:44:03 AM

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What is society’s reason for separating the male and female restrooms currently? Is it because mentally males and females tend to think differently, is it because they are physically different, or perhaps it’s a comfort issue, just knowing that the people around you do the same things?
Comfort and physical obviously he gets shot down on, the way people think is a bit harder to do, because once you start making one exception you’d have to make some sort of test to test people that want to use the opposite sex’s restroom.
niceguy89
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 12:11:56 AM

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foxjack wrote:
What is society’s reason for separating the male and female restrooms currently? Is it because mentally males and females tend to think differently, is it because they are physically different, or perhaps it’s a comfort issue, just knowing that the people around you do the same things?
Comfort and physical obviously he gets shot down on, the way people think is a bit harder to do, because once you start making one exception you’d have to make some sort of test to test people that want to use the opposite sex’s restroom.

I think it has to do with degrees of shame. Growing up I was taught that penis is a dirty word. Penis ,until I left the church, was evil and nasty. Led to think that having a penis made me a bad person. That boys only wanted to hump and grind. That if adults with rules didn't stop me I'd rape everyone and everything. Girls are sweet angels and boys are satan spawn. Now I know that penis is just a body part. Thanks to a good sex ed class in high school. I understand just how close minded my family and church community were with "private parts". If you are raised wrong you make bad mistakes. Like thinking that a girl with a penis is bad or different. In fact she is just another human. One that needs more support but will get more ridicule.
kylie_kained
Posted: Saturday, March 02, 2013 12:41:11 AM

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It's a very dificult decision to make the School is trying to be politicaly correct but on the other hand the girl in question because to all intense and purpose that is how she see's herself has rights also. By alienating her to be using special toilets makes her stand out as a freak being not recognised as either gender. As far as I can see this would be called mental abuse something that no School should encourage let alone take part in. Maybe the correct way forward would be to install a disabled toilet at least then she would fit in to an explainable section children tend not to judge like many adults do and many would just accept that the girl had a dissabilty and just not question what it might be. As such she is disabled from using either the boys or the girls toilets.
















Magical_felix
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 12:29:40 PM

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Eh, tough titties. Everyone has some kind of cross to bear. She'll just learn it younger than most.



Monocle
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 1:21:00 PM

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Magical_felix wrote:
Eh, tough titties. Everyone has some kind of cross to bear. She'll just learn it younger than most.


Of such compassion teen suicides are made.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 03, 2013 10:08:35 PM

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Posts: 470,082
I find it kind of funny that the parents weren't in this with dressing the kid as a girl. But then maybe in their house the children run things and the parents are the ones who need their hand held when crossing the street. Sounds like someone wants their 15 minutes.
lafayettemister
Posted: Tuesday, October 15, 2013 10:30:36 AM

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This sure isn't going to help things.. I hope this isn't true..

Transgender boy is harrassing girls in school restroom

The rights of a transgendered Colorado high school student are being put ahead of girls the boy harasses
in the girls bathroom.

A male student at Florence (CO) High School who claims to be transgendered has caused controversy by
harassing female students in the girls room, but will not face any discipline – this despite vocal protests from
the girls’ parents.

‘The boy’s rights as a transgender trump their daughters’ privacy rights,’ the school has told concerned
parents, according to CBN.

Unidentified because all involved are minors, the students are being threatened with removal from sports
teams or even hate crime charges if they continue to voice concerns, said the site.

The school even suggested the girls give up some or most of their restrooms in order to accommodate their
transgendered classmate.

The response outraged parents and the Pacific Justice Institute, a civil rights group who wrote a letter to the
school the demanding an explanation.

‘We're not going to stand by and let 99.7 per cent of our students lose their privacy and free speech rights
just because .3 per cent of the population are gender-confused,’ said the letter.

PJI also requested that the female students’ freedom of speech and privacy rights not be infringed upon,
including the relinquishing of their restrooms, according to CBN.

The school has not publicly commented on the issue and was not able to be reached by MailOnline in order
to be provided the opportunity to publicly answer to these concerns.

===============================

I do have a problem with the use of the term "gender-confused". Is the school in a lose-lose situation here? This story came up on my facebook news feed, after googling it, all the sites talking about it are far right-wing weirdo sites. But, if the facts are true as stated.. what the fuck?

edit.... more info should come out eventually.. has the transgender kid always used the girls restroom? what was the harassment the girls suffered? could it be that they're bullying the transgender kid because she's different? time will tell....







When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Magical_felix
Posted: Tuesday, October 15, 2013 1:06:35 PM

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Monocle wrote:


Of such compassion teen suicides are made.


Of lack of guidance and proper teaching of what the real world is like teen suicides are made.



Dancing_Doll
Posted: Tuesday, October 15, 2013 1:32:48 PM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
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Don't all schools have at least one unisex private/handicap bathroom that can be used? What is the issue with Coy using those bathroom facilities? I mean, we're just talking about a bathroom - not segregation from social activities.

Having said that, I don't see the big deal with the transgender child using the girl's bathroom. There are still stalls in girls bathrooms. It's not like they're stripping and peeing out in the open or comparing body parts.

A highschool locker room involving showers might be more of an issue down the road, but this kid is still pretty young. I hardly think that a child wearing a dress with long pretty hair, walking into a girl's bathroom and entering a stall and then washing their hands in front of other girls should be cause for alarm amongst the community.


DLizze
Posted: Thursday, October 17, 2013 11:01:38 PM

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Posts: 2,495
I'm with Dancingdoll on this one, provided there are stalls with doors on them.

I am inclined to wonder why this question/decision had to be dealt with at all. Did a child complain, or is some well-meaning but misguided administrator taking it upon his or her self to force the issue? AS to using locker rooms, changing, showering, etc. I see that as a bridge that can be crossed when it is reached. I firmly believe that part of children's problems today have to do with the adults around them looking too far into the future, and creating problems where they do not exist. There is no guarantee that she will (a) be in that particular school system by the time she reaches puberty or (b) that she will not be struck by lightning and killed tomorrow afternoon, while playing in her own back yard. In other words, this entire thing sounds to me like a "problem" that was created, most likely by someone with "an axe tog grind."

"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
Ruthie
Posted: Friday, October 18, 2013 12:46:11 AM

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Joined: 10/21/2010
Posts: 2,154
Location: United States
lafayettemister wrote:
This sure isn't going to help things.. I hope this isn't true..

Transgender boy is harrassing girls in school restroom

The rights of a transgendered Colorado high school student are being put ahead of girls the boy harasses
in the girls bathroom.

A male student at Florence (CO) High School who claims to be transgendered has caused controversy by
harassing female students in the girls room, but will not face any discipline – this despite vocal protests from
the girls’ parents.

‘The boy’s rights as a transgender trump their daughters’ privacy rights,’ the school has told concerned
parents, according to CBN.





This, like so much of the "news," that comes from right wing sources is total bullshit. It was reported in the Daily Mail, but it is false. The Daily Mail has since pulled the article.

Here is what Opposing Views has to say about this: "The article has since been pulled from the Daily Mail when the superintendent of the Florence school debunked the story. The story wasn’t based on actual events that occurred at the school, but rather one parent’s complaint against transgender students using the ladies room." http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/gay-issues/fox-news-reports-fake-story-about-transgender-student-harassing-girls-high#

The false story was originally reported by the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN).

The Christian Broadcasting Network reporting lies. How shocking. Wait, who is the father of lies? Could it be Satan?L16

dpw
Posted: Friday, October 18, 2013 6:42:07 AM

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Joined: 9/15/2013
Posts: 2,693
Location: Liverpool, United Kingdom
OMG WTF!
What planet am I on? All the comments seem to have missed one glaring point. The child has been treated as a girl from the age of 18 MONTHS.
I'm sorry, am I alone in thinking that's fucked up. I'd want that child removed from the parents and evaluated. A child that age can just about pick their nose let alone their gender!
There are reasons that reassignment surgery can't go ahead until after extensive psychological research, that person has to be fully aware of everthing that it entails. It's not done on the whim of parents.
In my view those parents should be facing child cruelty charges. I'm astounded at the comments here supporting the parent's fight. I hope that the poor boy can get to lead a normal childhood, then after puberty he wanted to change his gender I'd support him all the way. Why? BECAUSE IT WOULD BE HIS DECISION!
dpw
Posted: Friday, October 18, 2013 6:51:55 AM

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niceguy89 wrote:
If only people were more understanding. This girl has a hard life ahead.

That "girl" is a brainwashed boy!
dpw
Posted: Friday, October 18, 2013 6:57:32 AM

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sprite wrote:


for once, we agree on something. :)

here's the things, like SWW said, there's more than just the girl (and yes, i consider Coy a girl) involved here. as she and her classmates get older, it will become an issue - sexuality will be discovered, and frankly, the comfort level of young girls having to share a locker room or a bath room with someone they see as a guy, would be very difficult at best. i think that the school is doing it's best to treat this in a respectful and thoughtful manner in regards to everyone involved. that said, i would hope that, the students themselves, as they become aware enough and mature enough eventually take in on themselves to solve this dilemma - how cool would it be if the girls at her HS all sat down with the principal and said 'hey, we're ok with this, Coy's a girl, let's try to come up with a solution, such as X" ? maybe, they'll surprise us, i mean, at that point, Coy will have been living among the general population as a girl and they might just see her as such? this is a tough one, honestly, for everyone. kind of breaks my heart a little.

So if the child had been dressed in brown fur from the age of 18 months you'd consider them a Teddy Bear? What breaks my heart are the parents treating their child as a plaything!
dpw
Posted: Friday, October 18, 2013 7:02:32 AM

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slipperywhenwet2012 wrote:
I believe the school has done a great job accommodating Coy's needs, given the circumstances. The needs of one student shouldn't override the needs of all the others. Despite her actions and psyche, Coy is still physically a male. So this is a conundrum indeed. How do we keep Coy's civil rights intact without violating the rights and privacy of the other students? And what happens when Coy gets older and has to change in the locker room for P.E.? Should she be allowed to change in the girl's locker room?

I hate the way this is gonna sound, but the well being of an entire group of students shouldn't be pushed to the side to accommodate the needs of one. I'd like to see how the parents of the rest of the students feel.

I think the school should have called in the CPS. If I was a parent of one of the other kids I'd be disgusted, not with the child but with the parents.
dpw
Posted: Friday, October 18, 2013 7:05:57 AM

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lafayettemister wrote:
abc news story

CNN news story

The cliffnotes version..

Coy was a born one of triplets, a boy at birth. According to Coy's parent, Coy "behaved like a girl since 18 months old". As Coy grew she always dressed and acted like a girl, even in school. In kindergarten (she's in 1st. grade now), she used the girl's restroom. However, in December her school informed her parents that she is no longer allowed to use the girl's restroom. She may only use the boy's restroom, gender neutral faculty restroom, or the Nurse's bathroom.

The school district says they are accommodating Coy's needs while at the same time taking the needs and concerns of other students and parents as equally important.

Coy's parents and the Transgender Legal and Defense Education Fund believe Coy's civil rights have been violated.


Touchy issue. Obviously, 6yrs old is too young to have any sort of surgeries to alter the genitalia of anyone. And in 1st grade it may not be a big issue for anyone but as Coy grows older and his body develops, how will "normal" girls feel about having a girl with male genitalia in their restroom? The school is kinda caught in the middle.

How can the school be sensitive to Coy's needs while at the same time shielding other kids from some of life's realities that they may not be ready to deal with? Did they do enough to accommodate her needs enough or should they have just left things alone? Better to make the change now than in 3rd, 4th, or 5th grade?


I wonder if the parents would have done the same thing to the poor boy if his sister had been healthy?
Guest
Posted: Friday, October 18, 2013 4:53:15 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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Dancing_Doll wrote:
Don't all schools have at least one unisex private/handicap bathroom that can be used? What is the issue with Coy using those bathroom facilities? I mean, we're just talking about a bathroom - not segregation from social activities.

Having said that, I don't see the big deal with the transgender child using the girl's bathroom. There are still stalls in girls bathrooms. It's not like they're stripping and peeing out in the open or comparing body parts.

A highschool locker room involving showers might be more of an issue down the road, but this kid is still pretty young. I hardly think that a child wearing a dress with long pretty hair, walking into a girl's bathroom and entering a stall and then washing their hands in front of other girls should be cause for alarm amongst the community.


I totally agree. They are six and there are doors to the stalls. In a few years...that is when they might want to consider homeschooling.
Kitanica
Posted: Saturday, October 19, 2013 2:24:09 AM

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I don't see what the controversy is about.
He's a male student being told to use the male restroom.
dpw
Posted: Saturday, October 19, 2013 4:15:03 AM

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Kitanica wrote:
I don't see what the controversy is about.
He's a male student being told to use the male restroom.

The boy has been dressed,treated and brought up as a girl by his parents! Am I the only person who thinks that's wrong?
JasonM
Posted: Saturday, October 19, 2013 4:31:46 AM

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dpw wrote:

The boy has been dressed,treated and brought up as a girl by his parents! Am I the only person who thinks that's wrong?


According to the article, he thinks of himself as a girl. They're just following his own wishes.

I don't see anything wrong with this. Sometimes gender-identity happens early in life and sometimes it never settles down.

"I'm not dark and moody, I just dress that way" - JM

A love poem : Dark Eyes - Now with audio recorded by myself
Another poem : Let Me Show You
A short story : Dark Knight, Shining Lady
My third poem : Morning Delight
My Competition Entry : Pain and Pleasure
dpw
Posted: Saturday, October 19, 2013 7:00:06 AM

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JasonM wrote:


According to the article, he thinks of himself as a girl. They're just following his own wishes.

I don't see anything wrong with this. Sometimes gender-identity happens early in life and sometimes it never settles down.

Yes at 18 months he sat his parents down and told them he thought he'd been born the wrong gender and then said goo goo! At that age he can maybe put a short sentence together, the child has had his most formative years warped by his parents. I dread to think what psychological damage they may have caused.
JasonM
Posted: Saturday, October 19, 2013 7:09:45 AM

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dpw wrote:

Yes at 18 months he sat his parents down and told them he thought he'd been born the wrong gender and then said goo goo! At that age he can maybe put a short sentence together, the child has had his most formative years warped by his parents. I dread to think what psychological damage they may have caused.


(rolls his eyes)

From the Article linked

"Coy Mathis, born a male triplet, has behaved like a girl since she was 18 months old. When her brother Max was consumed with dinosaurs, she was playing with Barbie dolls. By 4, she was telling her mother that something was wrong with her body."

How about pointing at the girls clothes when out with mom, that could happen at 18 months. Far as I saw from the article, Coy is female in thoughts, attitude and actions, and always has been. That she seems happy being as she is, is a reflection on the parents EXCELLENT raising of her to accept what she is.

"I'm not dark and moody, I just dress that way" - JM

A love poem : Dark Eyes - Now with audio recorded by myself
Another poem : Let Me Show You
A short story : Dark Knight, Shining Lady
My third poem : Morning Delight
My Competition Entry : Pain and Pleasure
dpw
Posted: Saturday, October 19, 2013 8:04:30 AM

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JasonM wrote:


(rolls his eyes)

From the Article linked

"Coy Mathis, born a male triplet, has behaved like a girl since she was 18 months old. When her brother Max was consumed with dinosaurs, she was playing with Barbie dolls. By 4, she was telling her mother that something was wrong with her body."

How about pointing at the girls clothes when out with mom, that could happen at 18 months. Far as I saw from the article, Coy is female in thoughts, attitude and actions, and always has been. That she seems happy being as she is, is a reflection on the parents EXCELLENT raising of her to accept what she is.

No excellent parenting is reassuring a child that there's nothing wrong with their body. Excellent parenting is taking the child to a child psychologist.
Excellent parenting is not condemning the child to years of abuse and alienation by other children and possibly adults. They have put that child in the media spotlight and we all know the idiots that are out there.
JasonM
Posted: Saturday, October 19, 2013 9:35:55 AM

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dpw wrote:

No excellent parenting is reassuring a child that there's nothing wrong with their body. Excellent parenting is taking the child to a child psychologist.
Excellent parenting is not condemning the child to years of abuse and alienation by other children and possibly adults. They have put that child in the media spotlight and we all know the idiots that are out there.


So because of other peoples close mindedness, she should be 'reprogrammed' to be other that what she believes herself to be?

Something will not become acceptable until it's out there. Putting Coy in the spotlight may start changing some peoples minds about what is 'normal'. Yes, she's going to suffer taunts, hatred and meanness in the future, but with parents like hers and the support of others (like us) she'll get through it.

Side note, the founder of the most noted gay reversion therapy group has resigned and apologized to all the gay he hurt over the years in trying to get them to change. Attempting to reprogram someone to be other than what they are is more damaging than anything else. He finally 'got it', when will others? Some, maybe never, but at least the attempt must be made.

"I'm not dark and moody, I just dress that way" - JM

A love poem : Dark Eyes - Now with audio recorded by myself
Another poem : Let Me Show You
A short story : Dark Knight, Shining Lady
My third poem : Morning Delight
My Competition Entry : Pain and Pleasure
Guest
Posted: Saturday, October 19, 2013 12:42:58 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 470,082
dpw wrote:

No excellent parenting is reassuring a child that there's nothing wrong with their body. Excellent parenting is taking the child to a child psychologist.
Excellent parenting is not condemning the child to years of abuse and alienation by other children and possibly adults. They have put that child in the media spotlight and we all know the idiots that are out there.


That approach works when it is some other problem but I have a relative that was very feminine from a very young age. His parents did not accept it and did everything they could to make him masculine. When he was 3 he used ask me to draw pictures of brides for him. He liked girl's things, dolls, he would steal my barbies because his parents wouldn't let him have any. He is who he is. Now he dresses in drag a lot and is who he has always been. Sexual identity is confusing to those of us, who just know what we are but imagine if you didn't? How hard would that be? Compassion is the word here. Empathy is another one.
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