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A $200 Cash 1st Prize in our new competition is no laughing matter! Options · View
nicola
Posted: Thursday, March 07, 2013 7:41:56 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,570
Location: The Orgasmatron
Well, hopefully it will be.

Quote:
April was designated as "National Humor Month" in 1976, by Larry Wilde.

It was designed to heighten public awareness on how the joy and therapeutic value of laughter can improve health, boost morale, increase communication skills and enrich the quality of one's life.

Competition Theme

Show your humorous and creative side. We are looking for fun, lighthearted and sexy stories / poems. Be as absurd and far-fetched as you like. Make us laugh!


Full competition details can be found here.




1st Place Prize: $200
2nd Place Prize: $100
3rd Place Prize: Potato
sprite
Posted: Thursday, March 07, 2013 8:06:12 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 14,662
Location: My Tower, United States
nicola
Posted: Thursday, March 07, 2013 8:14:08 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,570
Location: The Orgasmatron
I was going to send this one:

sprite
Posted: Thursday, March 07, 2013 8:16:44 PM

Rank: Her Royal Spriteness

Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 14,662
Location: My Tower, United States
nicola wrote:
I was going to send this one:



lol - the double take Kate did when catching a glimpse of that was priceless! really, it's a bit disturbing, boss. evil4

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/west-coast-games-part-one-the-beach.aspx
DirtyMartini
Posted: Thursday, March 07, 2013 9:12:26 PM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,791
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
Don't get any ideas about playing with your food Miss Sprite...

Hey Nic...you didn't by any chance turn poor Gav into a potato?




You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

Coco
Posted: Thursday, March 07, 2013 10:18:29 PM

Rank: Story Lover

Joined: 7/22/2011
Posts: 4,443
Location: Fantasy City, United States
nicola wrote:
I was going to send this one:




That gives me yet another reason to play with my food. Embarassed

LOL


Saga
Posted: Thursday, March 07, 2013 10:47:32 PM

Rank: Sergeant Turnip

Joined: 6/7/2012
Posts: 5,007
Location: Canada
cocokisses wrote:



That gives me yet another reason to play with my food. Embarassed

LOL


eat


http://www.lushstories.com/stories/quickie-sex/rye-and-ginger.aspx
VanGogh
Posted: Thursday, March 07, 2013 10:50:16 PM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 3,047
Location: Vancouver, Canada
The reading for the comp will be GREAT ...

*WARNING* Do not drink and read!! Lush will not pay for a new laptop that has been doused in wine/beer/beverages!

kekekegay

A Milf series combined with Office Sex *fans face* .... The Secretary and The Student
starting with The Secretary and The Student - first part

Enjoy!!

For the Anal Lovers .... come enjoy my RR honoured An Alluring Ass

Another Sex in the Office Poem (I know you love those!!) In Your Office

AbigailThornton
Posted: Friday, March 08, 2013 12:03:28 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 7/8/2012
Posts: 719
Location: The naughty little world inside my head, United Ki
I'm not sure that I approve of combining Home Economics with Biology lessons:



SITTING
Posted: Friday, March 08, 2013 2:13:10 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 8/11/2011
Posts: 727
Location: Leeds, United Kingdom
I can never look at a potato in the same way. EVER.
nicola
Posted: Friday, March 08, 2013 2:45:02 AM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,570
Location: The Orgasmatron
DirtyMartini wrote:
Don't get any ideas about playing with your food Miss Sprite...

Hey Nic...you didn't by any chance turn poor Gav into a potato?



If you don't know the difference between an egg and a potato, I'm not coming over to your place for that supper you keep promising to cook for me. Just sayin'.

Sprite - the colour does rather make it look like an "angry" penis doesn't it. We should hold a competition for the most outrageous use of the english language, to describe the sexual organs.

"I held his angry looking penis in my hand, and lovingly stroked his heavy balls, while licking my lips, greedily".

Too cliche, I need to give this some thought...

Liz
Posted: Friday, March 08, 2013 5:14:14 AM

Rank: Scarlet Seductress

Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 4,707
Location: In the sweet shop, United Kingdom
naughtyannie
Posted: Friday, March 08, 2013 11:41:27 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2011
Posts: 1,404
Location: London, United Kingdom
I couldn't help remembering "Blackadder" and Baldrick' s "turnip shaped like a thingy", which ended up being served raw to Edmund' s rabidly puritan aunt.




Click on the link below to visit my profile page, for award-winning filthy stories and arousing pics. Go on, it's just one click.

You know you want to...

http://www.lushstories.com/naughtyannie

You don't know what you're missing 'til you try it
Liz
Posted: Friday, March 08, 2013 12:26:53 PM

Rank: Scarlet Seductress

Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 4,707
Location: In the sweet shop, United Kingdom
naughtyannie wrote:
I couldn't help remembering "Blackadder" and Baldrick' s "turnip shaped like a thingy", which ended up being served raw to Edmund' s rabidly puritan aunt.






naughtyannie
Posted: Friday, March 08, 2013 3:11:53 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/8/2011
Posts: 1,404
Location: London, United Kingdom
nicola wrote:

We should hold a competition for the most outrageous use of the english language, to describe the sexual organs.


In the UK, the magazine "The Literary Review" has since 1993 given an annual "Bad Sex in Fiction Award", which is presented to the novelist who produces the worst description of sexual activity in a novel published that year. It gets a lot of publicity in the posh papers, as you can imagine. There's a good article about the 2012 award here:

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/sex-doesnt-get-worse-than-this-nancy-hustons-infrared-deserved-to-win-the-bad-sex-award-2012-8381962.html

I was rather taken by Tom Wolfe's "his big generative jockey was inside her pelvic saddle..."




Click on the link below to visit my profile page, for award-winning filthy stories and arousing pics. Go on, it's just one click.

You know you want to...

http://www.lushstories.com/naughtyannie

You don't know what you're missing 'til you try it
nicola
Posted: Friday, March 08, 2013 3:33:05 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,570
Location: The Orgasmatron
I haven't looked at The literary Review for ages, thanks for the reminder and laughs annie!
DirtyMartini
Posted: Saturday, March 09, 2013 4:25:40 AM

Rank: Purveyor of Poetry & Porn

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 5,791
Location: Right here on Lush Stories..., United States
So, how big is this potato anyway? Still trying to decide if it's worth entering...




You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

nicola
Posted: Saturday, March 09, 2013 3:41:31 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,570
Location: The Orgasmatron
That reminds me of driving around Australia. They have the big banana, big prawn, big deck chair.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia's_big_things

Rather crass if you ask me. But fun to see evil4
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