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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,956
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Which trope do you least like to see in stories?
For me, it's when family members go from platonic to incestuous in about five seconds, all from seeing a family member naked, once. It's just so unrealistic, hurried, and lazy. I feel like there's so many good ways to write a story that ends with incest, but that's not one of them. How about you guys?
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Rank: Story Verifier
Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 502
Location: In the sweet shop, United Kingdom
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Biggest annoyance recently is inconsistencies regarding characters details. Read a story the other day where the main characters girlfriend switched from 16 years old, to 17, to 18, then back to 16 at the end. Made it very hard to read and follow. Continuity is a serious point! :)
My latest stories:
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Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 8,089
Location: Oz, United States
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mine is the 'laundry list' that is, the first paragraph giving you height, weight, age, cock/tit size, hair color, eye color, etc. usually, if i'm getting hit with numbers and colors right away, i skip the story and move on.
 Bitches in the Basement on Amazon by our own Dancing Doll
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Rank: Story Verifier
Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 502
Location: In the sweet shop, United Kingdom
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sprite wrote:mine is the 'laundry list' that is, the first paragraph giving you height, weight, age, cock/tit size, hair color, eye color, etc. usually, if i'm getting hit with numbers and colors right away, i skip the story and move on. Absolutely agree with this as well! You hit the nail on the head Sprite. My name is... I'm xx years old... My cock is 12 inches...
My latest stories:
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 6
Location: United Kingdom
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90% of the male characters are better looking than male models
90% of the women have the looks of film stars.
A little more realism would not go amiss.
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Rank: Senior Story Verifier
Joined: 5/16/2010
Posts: 1,175
Location: Undressing him with my eyes, United States
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sprite wrote:mine is the 'laundry list' that is, the first paragraph giving you height, weight, age, cock/tit size, hair color, eye color, etc. usually, if i'm getting hit with numbers and colors right away, i skip the story and move on.
You completely nailed it there!!! It reads more like the description of a suspect than an erotic story.
In custody. I love baseball!!!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 6/8/2011
Posts: 851
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lizzy94 wrote:Biggest annoyance recently is inconsistencies regarding characters details.
Read a story the other day where the main characters girlfriend switched from 16 years old, to 17, to 18, then back to 16 at the end.
Made it very hard to read and follow.
Continuity is a serious point! :) I blush to confess it, but I once wrote a story when the lead character took her bra off twice... 
Please have a look at my "Humour Month" Competition entry - hope you enjoy it! http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/pyramus-and-thisbe.aspx
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,956
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sprite wrote:mine is the 'laundry list' that is, the first paragraph giving you height, weight, age, cock/tit size, hair color, eye color, etc. usually, if i'm getting hit with numbers and colors right away, i skip the story and move on. I usually hear it described as the "warrant poster," and yeah, it bugs the crap out of me, too.
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 12/8/2011
Posts: 38
Location: United States
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agreed cant stand to read the laundry list, just spread it into the story. and omg how many women have DD and GG tits. How about normal girls and guys in a story. Also one more about the breaking of the hymen, where its located. lol Its not at the back of the vagina. I'm sorry but stating He pushed into her 3 inches then felt it,Oh my!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 2/5/2013
Posts: 944
Location: United States
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MatthewVett wrote:sprite wrote:mine is the 'laundry list' that is, the first paragraph giving you height, weight, age, cock/tit size, hair color, eye color, etc. usually, if i'm getting hit with numbers and colors right away, i skip the story and move on.
I usually hear it described as the "warrant poster," and yeah, it bugs the crap out of me, too. pernellkim wrote:agreed cant stand to read the laundry list, just spread it into the story. and omg how many women have DD and GG tits. How about normal girls and guys in a story. Also one more about the breaking of the hymen, where its located. lol Its not at the back of the vagina. I'm sorry but stating He pushed into her 3 inches then felt it,Oh my! Agreed. It's also hard to picture DD tits as well, seeing as I don't know how bra sizes work.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 2/11/2013
Posts: 486
Location: Marina del Rey, United States
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Not much passion, not much build-up of sexual tension, unbelievable characters. There's more to erotica than just sex acts, and extreme ones at that. It's often a bit too much like "Suddenly, incestuous anal sex broke out..."
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Rank: Gingerbread Lover
Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,289
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
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I have an aversion to first person, present tense, but I will overlook that if it's written well.
The one thing I utterly abhor, however, is the awful technique that bad journalists employ in chat magazines. They don't have enough space, so they cut words out, and often wiggle the tenses so it makes less grammatical sense.
Quote:She was immediately turned on, needed to find relief. She rubbed her legs together, feeling her juices oozing out, wanted him badly.
No! No, no, no, no, no! It is lazy and ignorant, and I will not only stop reading, but chances are, I will also score you low for it (if I managed to suffer through at least a third). I send the comment in a private message, though. 
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,956
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MrLosAngeles wrote:Not much passion, not much build-up of sexual tension, unbelievable characters. There's more to erotica than just sex acts, and extreme ones at that. It's often a bit too much like "Suddenly, incestuous anal sex broke out..." YESSSSSS! I hate that, so much. It's just like, "I met this shy girl. I took out my dick and she was on her knees in a flash!" Like, really? That's all it took? Are you sure you didn't stumble into a brothel with dollar bills sticking out of your sleeves and collar like you're a scarecrow? EDWolfe wrote:
Agreed. It's also hard to picture DD tits as well, seeing as I don't know how bra sizes work.
Well, can't help you with American sizes, but if you ever need help picturing Japanese bra sizes, there's a chart here: http://liquidmatthew.wordpress.com/2012/12/01/japanese-bra-size-chart/
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Rank: Active Ink Slinger
Joined: 9/3/2012
Posts: 22
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There's sometimes a fine line between playing out a fantasy scenario and simply blatant wish fulfillment. When a story crosses over into the latter territory, I lose interest. Mostly the result of the aforementioned poorly drawn characters doing unrealistic things. I always picture the writer as a horny teenage boy who just can't wait to get to the good bits.
And Matthew, I will probably never need to use it, but I'm so glad that funny little chart exists! I feel like D-H are all similarly sized, and some appear to go down in size and then up.
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Rank: Lurker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Posts: 326,956
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hardnhot18 wrote:There's sometimes a fine line between playing out a fantasy scenario and simply blatant wish fulfillment. When a story crosses over into the latter territory, I lose interest. Mostly the result of the aforementioned poorly drawn characters doing unrealistic things. I always picture the writer as a horny teenage boy who just can't wait to get to the good bits.
Yeah, it's easy to break the suspension of disbelief, even in erotica. There's only so many contrived coincidences I can take before it's just too implausible to be worth reading, for me.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 2/10/2012
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sprite wrote:mine is the 'laundry list' that is, the first paragraph giving you height, weight, age, cock/tit size, hair color, eye color, etc. usually, if i'm getting hit with numbers and colors right away, i skip the story and move on. I have left many stories on here if I encounter these (laundry list) in the first paragraph. I just roll my eyes and leave. It's like reading writing done by a 6th grader (no offense 6th grader). Give me descriptions of the place, the smells, the time of day (not saying .... in Santa Fe where the smell of heat was almost stifling at 1:27 pm) ... draw me in and make me want to read your story. AND then, I'll score and comment!
a story that is lots of fun .... Ben's fun!! Good Morning, My CumSlut (oral sex)
* * * * * *
"The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play." - Arnold J. Toynbee
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Rank: Alpha Blonde
Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 4,342
Location: In your dirty fantasies
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The 'laundry list' is my worst pet peeve for sure, but I also find it irritating when people overuse exclamations like "Mmmmmmmm, ahhhhhhh, Ohhhhhh, Yessssss, Ugggghhhh" as a filler during sex scenes, while avoiding actual dialogue or dirty talk between partners. A little of it can be effective, but when that's the extent of the verbal interaction between the characters while fucking it just becomes distracting and it loses impact. There are more creative ways to describe how certain sex acts feel or how a character is going to respond to physical stimulation.
 The complete 50,000+ word novel, inspired by the original short story, is now available for instant download on Amazon.com *Forum Announcement and More Dirty Details* *** Click here to read my NEW Hardcore rough sex story. Now a Lush Editor's Pick selection! ***
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Rank: Story Lover
Joined: 7/22/2011
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Location: Fantasy City, United States
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Dancing_Doll wrote:The 'laundry list' is my worst pet peeve for sure, but I also find it irritating when people overuse exclamations like "Mmmmmmmm, ahhhhhhh, Ohhhhhh, Yessssss, Ugggghhhh" as a filler during sex scenes, while avoiding actual dialogue or dirty talk between partners. A little of it can be effective, but when that's the extent of the verbal interaction between the characters while fucking it just becomes distracting and it loses impact. There are more creative ways to describe how certain sex acts feel or how a character is going to respond to physical stimulation. 
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Rank: Her Royal Spriteness
Joined: 6/18/2010
Posts: 8,089
Location: Oz, United States
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Dancing_Doll wrote:The 'laundry list' is my worst pet peeve for sure, but I also find it irritating when people overuse exclamations like "Mmmmmmmm, ahhhhhhh, Ohhhhhh, Yessssss, Ugggghhhh" as a filler during sex scenes, while avoiding actual dialogue or dirty talk between partners. A little of it can be effective, but when that's the extent of the verbal interaction between the characters while fucking it just becomes distracting and it loses impact. There are more creative ways to describe how certain sex acts feel or how a character is going to respond to physical stimulation. lol - i KNOW this is a time honored method of erotic literature, and as such, as a story mod, i pass it, but oh, yeah, it's up there as well on the pet peeve list, especially when it's also capitalized. YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! OH GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!!! FUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK, I'M CUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!
Bitches in the Basement on Amazon by our own Dancing Doll
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Joined: 10/5/2012
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sprite wrote:mine is the 'laundry list' that is, the first paragraph giving you height, weight, age, cock/tit size, hair color, eye color, etc. usually, if i'm getting hit with numbers and colors right away, i skip the story and move on. I can definitely do without the physical exam measurements. Another one of mine is overuse of "Oh, Baby!" "Right there, Baby!" "Do it to me, Baby!" "Fuck me, Baby!" Reminds me of cheesy porn.
If you haven't, you should read this award-winning story. Fine, fine, I only won a potato, but I'm sure you won't be able to peel your eyes away from it.
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Unrealistic measurements ... especially around male anatomy. And completely ridiculous dialogue during sex; as mentioned above. "Oh, baby...." doesn't take my imagination to a sexy place. I can almost here the "bow-chicka-wow-wow" music
"If you knew what you were doing you would probably be bored."
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Rank: Forum Guru
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I'm guilty of doing the laundry list in some of my stories, but seeing this, I think I'm going to back off it. I'm going to have to go with Ashleigh, the over use of, Yessssssss, Oooooh, Mmmmm's are the worst. I do a few mmm's but hardly ever. The penis size is always a joke too, which is why I don't really talk about the size. I have in a few stories. I know I'm not perfect, but my readers like what I write. I'm proud of what I write. So, as long as I'm happy, I guess it doesn't matter, I suppose.
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Rank: Forum Guru
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I dont like when the characters are having sex in the first few lines of the story. I want to get a feel for who they are and how the sex happened. I love seduction. And it is nice when not all the characters have perfect bodies with porn star measurements. I understand that most people wil be more tunred on by reading about a beautiful women than some grotesque creature having sex but a little realism is nice once in a while. So its ok to mix in a 34B-28-36 with a 34DD-22-34 every once in a while. And maybe a few 5" cocks instead of the normal 9 inchers, LOL!!
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/22/2010
Posts: 1,340
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Can totally agree with the "landry list" thing, but my pet peeve is when characters have no depth to them. When Character "A" wants Character "B", they fuck, and that's it. Gary Stu just slept with Mary Sue. The characters serve no purpose, but to screw. I loath stories like that.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 10/15/2010
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My biggest pet peeves when it comes to stories are clichés, stereotypical characters, and dialogue that are not believable.
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Rank: Forum Guru
Joined: 2/5/2013
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Shylass wrote:I have an aversion to first person, present tense, but I will overlook that if it's written well. This one reminds me about another peeve I have. While I don't really pay attention to verb tense, I do have a problem with 2nd person perspectives. When I see it, I mentally resist it. ("No, I don't have a pussy, I don't know what you're talking about." etc)
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Rank: Rookie Scribe
Joined: 2/20/2013
Posts: 9
Location: UK
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I get turned off instantly by the laundry list, but I'm also bothered by short descriptions where I'm informed that the (female) character passes all the criteria required for men's magazine photoshoots.
It just makes me think: OK, I'm not blonde, over 25, larger than US size 4 (uk 8, I believe), am I even allowed to be turned on?
Am I the only one thinking this?
Someone will surely tell me the world belongs to the young, rich and beautiful and I should get over it, but I kind of like the idea of (adult consensual) sex being allowed for everyone, regardless of age and other physical attributes.
(BTW, I don't care whether men are perfect either.)
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It seems weird and disconcerting when the gorgeous 18 year old chick throws herself at the middle-aged ordinary guy without much explanation just because she's inexplicably horny. If he's George Clooney it would make sense. I suppose that's a "targeted" fantasy for a particular sex/age bracket not aimed at a general audience.
Writer of amateur erotica since 2011.. For an example see http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-alpha-male-part-i.aspx
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CharlotteRusse1 wrote:It seems weird and disconcerting when the gorgeous 18 year old chick throws herself at the middle-aged ordinary guy without much explanation just because she's inexplicably horny. If he's George Clooney it would make sense. I suppose that's a "targeted" fantasy for a particular sex/age bracket not aimed at a general audience. It's called fiction for a reason, Charlotte. 
 The best thing you can do for your fellow,
next to rousing his conscience, is - not to give him things
to think about, but to wake things up that are in him...
to make him think things for himself - George MacDonald
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CharlotteRusse1 wrote:It seems weird and disconcerting when the gorgeous 18 year old chick throws herself at the middle-aged ordinary guy without much explanation just because she's inexplicably horny. If he's George Clooney it would make sense. I suppose that's a "targeted" fantasy for a particular sex/age bracket not aimed at a general audience. Well, I lusted after a middle aged man as an eighteen year old. I must have been the only one. I know this is Ask the readers and not my private confession booth, but I can see how such a plot could be valid.
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