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What's the worst chat up line you've ever heard? Options · View
Liz
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 5:29:47 PM

Rank: Scarlet Seductress

Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 3,913
Location: In the sweet shop, United Kingdom
I'll start :)

I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!

Sword Fight



secretcharm
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 6:07:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/26/2012
Posts: 149
Location: In front of my computer

What are you wearing?
d'oh!

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”
― Oscar Wilde
Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 7:05:46 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,477
This should be interesting
VanGogh
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 7:34:22 PM

Rank: Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado

Joined: 2/10/2012
Posts: 2,762
Location: Vancouver, Canada
"have you ever .... ?"

"when was your last orgasm?"

coffee

For the Anal Lovers .... come enjoy my RR honoured An Alluring Ass

Another Sex in the Office Poem (I know you love those!!) In Your Office

* * * * * *
"The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play." - Arnold J. Toynbee
“Everything you can imagine is real.” - Pablo Picasso
lesbian7
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 7:42:37 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 12/6/2012
Posts: 1
Have you ever......... Embarassed
kylie_kained
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 7:59:15 PM

Rank: Detention Seeker

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 994
Location: Over your Knee Screaming and Kicking!, United King
I had to share this one I heard a guy ask a girl if she wanted sex when she said no he asked her to lay on the floor while he did.
















Tranquil
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 8:01:57 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/31/2013
Posts: 2,088
Location: Curled up in front of a beautiful fire
"how about it"


sheez , how about introducing yourself first..

[i]Poem : The Cyber Touch http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/the-cyber-touch.aspx
Poem : The Last Moments http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/the-last-moments.aspx
Story : One day only http://www.lushstories.com/stories/oral-sex/one-day-only.aspx
Poem: My Toy http://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/my-toy.aspx#comments/i]



Sex is an emotion in motion (Mae West).
An Ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises (Mae West)
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it. (Mae West)
adagio_sabadicus
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 8:25:16 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/24/2013
Posts: 1,246
My wife will not give me any pussy even though i have a yacht, corporate jet and 40,362 head of cattle on 17,000 acres of land. I'm also a war hero and have 6 tattoos to match my 12 missing teeth. Will you come to my town and check in at the "Bedbug and Taco Motel?' I promise I will reemburse you. "Cross my heart and pray to Johnny Cash, Grandpa Jones and Tex Ritter. "
adagio_sabadicus
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 8:52:30 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/24/2013
Posts: 1,246
I love to write but have writers block. That is why I can't write. Yes, I know it's beem three years since I joined Lush but I have been busy collecting broads. If you talk naughty to me I promise that I will copy and paste a story, maybe stick and lick you. if you will add me.
suezq
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 9:54:08 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/23/2009
Posts: 282
Location: Pennsylvania
You can't possibly be as old as your profile says you are. Women that age don't have sexual desires.
foxjack
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 11:08:05 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/25/2010
Posts: 712
Location: Pierre, United States
Want to fuck.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 10, 2013 11:53:51 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,477
yeah definately when was your last orgasm? or want to fuck?
KatR
Posted: Monday, March 11, 2013 12:12:58 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/19/2013
Posts: 311
Location: United States
suezq wrote:
You can't possibly be as old as your profile says you are. Women that age don't have sexual desires.


I get that a lot, and also implying that i should be all wrinkly old prune by now
KatR
Posted: Monday, March 11, 2013 12:15:29 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/19/2013
Posts: 311
Location: United States
foxjack wrote:
Want to fuck.


Or the expanded version, one look at you made me hard, want to fuck?
KatR
Posted: Monday, March 11, 2013 12:19:53 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/19/2013
Posts: 311
Location: United States
another classic: come to the (whatever) web site (which will, of course, load 1,000 viruses on your laptop and steal your personal information) and i will turn you on by having you watch me jacking off (oh yeah, watching you, BIG turn on!)
Guest
Posted: Monday, March 11, 2013 1:16:25 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,477
I wish I would get a line like Lizzy's post from guys on this site. It's a lot better than "wanna fuck?" Shows a glimmer of personality.
sheersilk9
Posted: Wednesday, March 13, 2013 1:36:09 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/2/2012
Posts: 144
Location: United States
"hey baby".... oh yea piss me off will you, oh yea just can't wait to talk with you
Dani
Posted: Wednesday, March 13, 2013 11:50:28 PM

Rank: Penguin Wrangler

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 4,044
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
You horny? Look at my profile pics and tell me if you like. How wet does it get? You like girls? Wanna be my sub? What you look like? You like older cock? Hey sexy, wanna pvt? Any pics? What you wearing? It's a bit crowded in here (in a room where only like 3 people are actually chatting) and I'd like to get to know you better...wanna private? Show me your tits. You wet?

Sadly enough, these are all the FIRST things ever said to me by a plethora of random strangers.





We're tiny. We're toony. We're all a little looney. And in this cartoony, we're invading your TV.

MrLosAngeles
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 1:11:34 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/11/2013
Posts: 484
Location: Marina del Rey, United States
Without even an introduction she sent a PM saying: "You're a DOM, aren't you? I could tell. I like to be beaten really hard with a whip or a stick."
robbiedee1
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 2:15:19 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 9/11/2012
Posts: 87
Location: United Kingdom
"Lets play carnival, you sit on my face and I'll see if I can guess your weight".....
Guest
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 7:28:44 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 473,477
robbiedee1 wrote:
"Lets play carnival, you sit on my face and I'll see if I can guess your weight".....


HA! That's awful. A complete stranger once pointed at me and said, "You there! Come sit on my face!"
trinket
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 9:39:02 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 9,977
Location: Nowhere near you, Australia
HiddenTalent
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 9:48:11 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/26/2012
Posts: 2,856
Location: United Kingdom
So none of the above are any good ???

Damn that's where I have been going wrong .....oh well back to the drawing board...sigh
trinket
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 9:53:04 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 9,977
Location: Nowhere near you, Australia
HiddenTalent
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 10:08:50 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/26/2012
Posts: 2,856
Location: United Kingdom
It was at college that I learnt them all ...no wonder it has been downhill since then
Ineke
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 2:25:23 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 3/11/2013
Posts: 2
Location: Netherlands
Is your pussy bald?
Sharona83
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 2:33:55 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 3/13/2013
Posts: 21
Location: United Kingdom
My friend in college successfully used this line;
"That's a lovely arse, shame you have to shit out of it".
The bastard dated her for ages. And it really was a lovely arse.
HornyANDbeautiful
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 6:24:29 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/30/2013
Posts: 17
Location: United States
"so, ive heard a mans mind is in his dick, so why dont you go ahead and blow my mind;)" i was like wtf!
HornyANDbeautiful
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 6:26:26 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 1/30/2013
Posts: 17
Location: United States
Also, "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"
Beckey
Posted: Thursday, March 14, 2013 7:19:21 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/18/2009
Posts: 248
Location: Upstate NY in the summer, Fountain Hills AZ,and Fl
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