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She says our sex life is boring after 19 yrs of marriage. Any tips to spice it up? Options · View
Guest
Posted: Thursday, March 21, 2013 11:01:57 AM

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Sweetdreemz
Posted: Thursday, March 21, 2013 12:09:53 PM

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Yes. Talk to her.
100pens
Posted: Thursday, March 21, 2013 12:11:30 PM

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Posts: 4
LovingHusband708 wrote:


Quite easy. Surprise her! While she is alseep on her back, start licking her pussy. It is easy, just try to get some toys. Oh! Maybe you should make her your pet so she does every sex command you want? Try torturing her with vibrators.
keoloke
Posted: Thursday, March 21, 2013 12:15:44 PM

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Why do you think it got like that? are you a loving husband?

Choose n Practice Happiness

Life is simple; we are what we eat and what we read. Talk is superfluous.
lindseyaggie
Posted: Thursday, March 21, 2013 12:42:06 PM

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Location: Texas, United States
Find out her fantasies. Try to make them come true even if it means pretending to be someone else.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, March 21, 2013 12:50:17 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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I agree, talk to her. Find out what SHE might want to do since she was the one who said your sex life is boring. For me that would be like someone complaining that the food has become boring... I would immediately ask "Is there something you might like to try". Oh... hey.... that works for sex too. ;)

Even if she can give you a general idea of a direction to go in, you could then come back and ask more specifically what might work or be a good idea. But without knowing you, your current sex life, your wife, or anything other than a pretty simple and generic question, it is really difficult for anyone to do much more than toss out what THEY might want to do.... which could be vastly different than what your wife might want.

Also be prepared for the "I don't know" and her getting shy about it. I don't know your wife, but I know men and women can want more but often times have a hard time vocalizing their desires for any number of reasons. One is not wanting to be judged, or not wanting to hurt your feelings. So you might actually have to keep the discussion flowing and ask questions. Guide her if she seems stuck. Toss out some fairly common things, like porn, toys, different positions, flavored lotions, roll playing, etc. You should get a general idea of what she does NOT want to do pretty quickly. And don't sound excited about any of the things you mention. Keep them all the same, and let her show the interest.

Good luck, and as always, feel free to come back with more information and/or let us know how it is going. :)
real69luvr
Posted: Thursday, March 21, 2013 12:52:33 PM

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Communication is the key. Maybe you are not keeping it interesting for her either. Talk to her. Find out what she wants to do, or how she wants to be treated. There's no substitute for good two way conversation.
Silvertip
Posted: Thursday, March 21, 2013 2:33:26 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

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I would venture to guess that if she were open enough to let you know that she feels your sex life is becoming boring, then she would also be open enough to have a frank discussion of how you'd go about improving it. So, I definitely agree with those who noted that you should talk about it. In one aspect, you are lucky that she has come out and said something, so many won't. Now, it's up to you to work with her and try different avenues.
cheeseball
Posted: Saturday, March 23, 2013 8:03:16 AM

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I would agree that you are lucky that she was the one to bring up the subject. She obviously cares about your relationship. Light some candles, pour a glass of wine, tell her how much she means to you and then ask her what you can do to please her.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 23, 2013 9:19:52 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,397
I don't have much experience at this but when was the last time you wined and dined her like she was your everything? I don't know...maybe that'll work if you both recaptured the love you started with. Thats one thing I have to hand to my dad...my mom knows she is loved as much today as when they met.
Leiza350
Posted: Saturday, March 23, 2013 10:33:04 AM

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Yes ................... try a few well thought 3 somes ...mmf so you will have 2X the sexual fun ....it works ....belive me .3some 3some 3some 3some 3some
luvuall
Posted: Saturday, March 23, 2013 12:11:17 PM

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There should be something missing after 19 years coz it becomes routine and people tend to neglected. So I will try to innovate her sexual desires. Surely I will talk to her and ask what she is expected to do and what is lacking on my side. Then we will work it out for the better.

Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 23, 2013 1:27:09 PM

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I would say try something new. If it's done the same way every time then it does become boring. Change it up a bit.
playsit
Posted: Saturday, March 23, 2013 1:39:44 PM

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I've been married 30 years now to the same lady. I've found that all things are cyclical - even sex. As many have pointed out, communication is key. Talk to each other about what works and what doesn't. Talk about what she would like to try... as we get older our sexual interests change. There are also lots of good books that discuss all the wonderful erectile tissue found on a lady... read and explore either separately or as a couple. You don't say much about your relationship, but lots of forplay throughout the day: sexy texts, emails, phone calls, flowers, letters. When I make it an all-day affair, she responds. Again, not everyone is the same, this is just what works for an older guy whose been married a while. Just my two-cents, for what that's worth.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 23, 2013 1:47:25 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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Read some of the stories, allow your imagination to open up, hell read the stories together and guage her reactions!!!!
cotto2000c
Posted: Saturday, March 23, 2013 1:59:50 PM

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I would say that JohnC and others have about summed it up. You have to open the lines of communication. The best relationships are built on the ability to be open with each other. Try to find her wants and desires. Maybe she wants things to be spiced up just a notch, or maybe something that might shock the hell out of you. You both need to be open and not judge the other on their fantasies. Have a nice dinner and a couple glasses of wine/cocktails if that will settle your nervousness about being open. I have only been married for 13 years, but we talk to each other about everything and are very happy. If we have something on our minds, we find the right time and place and explain how were feeling. It works well in my situation, maybe it will for you also. Good luck.
Buz
Posted: Saturday, March 23, 2013 11:21:50 PM

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By all means, spice that thing up!

There are so many things you can do from just romance, dinner & dancing, sexy lingerie, porn, sexy beach getaways, to lathering syrup on her body. Get creative. Get her naked and eat a strawberry from her navel then ravish her for all you've got.

cougarcub58
Posted: Sunday, March 24, 2013 6:30:52 AM

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Kristind wrote:
I don't have much experience at this but when was the last time you wined and dined her like she was your everything? I don't know...maybe that'll work if you both recaptured the love you started with. Thats one thing I have to hand to my dad...my mom knows she is loved as much today as when they met.


absolutely awesome...terrific commentsBig Hugs
Guest
Posted: Thursday, April 04, 2013 12:41:37 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,397
Thanks for all the advice. She did say "I don't know" when asked for her ideas to spice up things in bed. She did enjoy a pre-sex massage other night. I know she must have fantasies, sometimes shares them with me. Maybe some of those will heat things up? To me though its not fair to call me boring if she brings nothing new to bedroom. I've tried many things, trust me. And I still have to tell her, after 19 years, what to do for a great BJ. I find that odd.
janet_haney
Posted: Thursday, April 04, 2013 1:48:39 PM

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Sweetdreamz and JohnC are pretty smart. You can learn a lot from them. The thing women like the best is feeling like they are special and that you care and think she is still the love of your life. We lose interest in sex because we feel taken for granted. Women's "work" is boring. Help out so it gets done faster and then there is more time for fun. Listen when she talks. Pay attention to what she thinks is important and let her know it is to you too. Getting the fun back takes some work. Be prepared.
Haineko
Posted: Thursday, April 04, 2013 2:36:34 PM

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Location: my heart & soul is with my Mistress in, Greece
Communication is key.

you may have a shared fantasy but because there isn't any communication neither of you know.

latest comp story: Lilith versus Ursula

most likely to get me my famous story badge back
His & Hers secrets Ch1

Under construction (back in business)
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Wandering2
Posted: Monday, April 08, 2013 10:24:19 PM

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Leiza350 wrote:
Yes ................... try a few well thought 3 somes ...mmf so you will have 2X the sexual fun ....it works ....believe me .3some 3some 3some 3some 3some


There is SO much good advice on this thread. I'm proud to be amongst such kind and thoughtful folks. The above is my favorite of all of them. But there is some very very good advice here. We've been married 28 years this summer, and we are still having fun. Being open and honest is what has worked for us. That and the occasional 3 some or more some. 3some ;) And yes, we do flirt, tease, pet, stoke and let each other know throughout the day that we are glad to be married to one of the sexiest people we know. ;) Keeping it FUN.

A horny couple, a few spices, a LOT of FUN

Hope you will check out my first story - Kitty Kapers - A Well Seasoned Woman

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/oral-sex/kitty-kapers-a-well-seasoned-woman.aspx

Guest
Posted: Tuesday, April 09, 2013 11:25:42 AM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,397
100pens wrote:


Quite easy. Surprise her! While she is alseep on her back, start licking her pussy.
That's a great idea-or pull her pants down and start licking her while she's doing the dishes, etc. I'd suggest vibes but I bought one for my first wife as kind of a joke, and she ended up preferring the damned thing to me evil4 Anyway, I personally don't think sex ever gets boring, regardless of how long you've been with someone-sex is what you make it, like everything else.
Dani
Posted: Tuesday, April 09, 2013 11:59:09 AM

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Simple really, spice it up. Come on dude, use your imagination. You're on a sex-based site. Clearly you know the sky's the limit when it comes to sex. Do something different. Different is almost always intriguing. Even if it's something as simple as flicking or twirling your tongue a bit differently when you're going down on her. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Ask her what she likes. If she can't voice it, ask her to show you. Make sex an adventure, not a chore.



Baby put your arms around me, tell me I'm a problem...

WellMadeMale
Posted: Wednesday, May 15, 2013 4:01:44 PM

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Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,299
Location: Cakeland, United States
slipperywhenwet2012 wrote:
Simple really, spice it up. Come on dude, use your imagination. You're on a sex-based site. Clearly you know the sky's the limit when it comes to sex. Do something different. Different is almost always intriguing.

Make sex an adventure, not a chore.


Purchase her some new lingerie, in any size which isn't her own. That will put some adventure into your bedroom conversation and alleviate the boredom.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 15, 2013 4:25:58 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,397
After 19 years of marriage, I'm guessing you've done "it" at least 19 times and it's become too much of a routine. That's boring, you bet. Most couples after they've had sex for 19 times have run out of imagination. They try "different things", some work, some don't, even the "exploration" gets very old, very quickly if it's always the same old-same old. I often recommend going back to square one and starting anew. Start seducing each other again. Go longer periods between having sex so that by the time you do, it's exciting and needful again. Masturbate in front of each other before you have sex to build up the wanting. Put ROMANCE back in the equation.
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