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what do you think about a 21 year old male virgin? Options · View
iowa410
Posted: Thursday, March 28, 2013 6:36:48 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/28/2013
Posts: 141
Location: United States
Im 21 and never even kissed a girl. Im a little over weight and shy. I just feel like a loser by never being with someone.:(
clum
Posted: Thursday, March 28, 2013 6:46:07 PM

Rank: Clumeleon

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 4,639
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
If you feel like a loser then that's what you'll be.

Don't base your self-worth on your sexual experience. And don't blame your lack of sexual experience on your weight or shyness (I'm a fat fucker and I can get laid).

You have nothing to be ashamed of but if you don't like the situation, no one can change it for you. Recognise what's good about you, embrace it and go out into the world, confident that you are worth fucking. Go forth and get some pussy, my lad.

Welcome to Lush. Hope you love it here!

EDIT: Sorry that I answered without being a "gal".

Every day is a school day.
iowa410
Posted: Thursday, March 28, 2013 6:56:11 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/28/2013
Posts: 141
Location: United States
how do you gain confidence?
clum
Posted: Thursday, March 28, 2013 7:03:53 PM

Rank: Clumeleon

Joined: 5/13/2011
Posts: 4,639
Location: Edinburgh, United Kingdom
iowa410 wrote:
how do you gain confidence?


By having respect for your own life. By acknowledging your best traits. By creating a truly unshakeable self.

In practical terms? Challenge yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do. Once you see that you can do them, you will naturally feel more confident in your abilities. It doesn't have to be big things and you don't have to be in a rush.

Don't look outside yourself. If you don't believe that anyone will ever fuck you, how can you expect that anyone else will?

Every day is a school day.
MissDaisy1
Posted: Thursday, March 28, 2013 8:23:52 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/7/2013
Posts: 422
Location: United States
I am usually not serious on threads but for this one, I will make an exception.

I would not base your self worth on whether you have had sex. That is a crazy notion. Firstly, do not have sex just to have sex. You should like/love the person. If you have not found that person, that is fine. Secondly, 21 is still young. There is not an age at which a person should lose their virginity. Anyone who says otherwise is a fool. Finally, I would say that having fewer sexual partners makes sex more special.



Guest
Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 12:31:27 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,932
clum wrote:
If you feel like a loser then that's what you'll be.

Don't base your self-worth on your sexual experience. And don't blame your lack of sexual experience on your weight or shyness (I'm a fat fucker and I can get laid).

You have nothing to be ashamed of but if you don't like the situation, no one can change it for you. Recognise what's good about you, embrace it and go out into the world, confident that you are worth fucking. Go forth and get some pussy, my lad.

Welcome to Lush. Hope you love it here!

EDIT: Sorry that I answered without being a "gal".


clum wrote:


By having respect for your own life. By acknowledging your best traits. By creating a truly unshakeable self.

In practical terms? Challenge yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do. Once you see that you can do them, you will naturally feel more confident in your abilities. It doesn't have to be big things and you don't have to be in a rush.

Don't look outside yourself. If you don't believe that anyone will ever fuck you, how can you expect that anyone else will?



^^^^^^^^^What he said^^^^^^^^^^

I'm presuming you do go out where you are being social and meeting new people? Next time you go out, make it a goal to strike up a conversation with a stranger. It is amazing how many conversations start with a comment on the weather. Seriously! Each time you initiate a conversation with someone, it's easier to do it the next time.

AbigailThornton
Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 4:08:05 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 7/8/2012
Posts: 719
Location: The naughty little world inside my head, United Ki
There is some great advice on the thread already. Do stuff that you enjoy doing - but try and do it with other people. Don't lock yourself away. If you want to meet people and get a bit of exercise for mind, body and soul, join a walking / hiking / rambling / tramping (depending on your dialect) group. Whatever you do, get social. If you're not a great talker, be a great listener. Take an interest in people - and not just girls you fancy. That way it'll be easier when you do meet that 'someone special'. Good luck!

jennybbaduk
Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 4:21:32 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 3/15/2013
Posts: 67
Location: bolton, United Kingdom
exactly what they already said. Get out there, meet people and forget about sex, just start out having fun, making friends, starting to feel right about yourself. Everything else will follow in time. Just stop beating yourself up over it.
Torturegoddess666
Posted: Saturday, March 30, 2013 9:29:57 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 7/13/2011
Posts: 4
my boyfriend was 22 when he lost his virginity and he was in the same boat as you (I was his first) you just have to be yourself and wait for that lucky person to come along and snatch you up.
stelmaria
Posted: Sunday, March 31, 2013 2:04:13 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/8/2012
Posts: 318
Location: New Zealand
Yeah don't stress. I think it's kinda cool that you've still got that 'innocence', it's definitely something that has been undervalued these days. But yeah like other people said, don't waste it, wait for someone you really value and who you consider worthy of giving yourself to the first time.

LOVES4PLAY
Posted: Sunday, March 31, 2013 5:11:46 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/14/2010
Posts: 944
Location: JUST A CLICK AWAY, United States
Confidence comes from repeated successful ventures. Each of the above posts contain very good advice.
I like Trinkets; Strike up a conversation, Excellent suggestion.
Abigail's thoughts on being a great listener And taking an interest in people, will be the easiest to accomplish

Combine the two & you can't lose.

A very knowledgeable man once said ; "To have friends one must show themselves friendly."

I think it was Jimmy Stewart ,that said"I've never met a stranger that I didn't like"
Best wishes to you & yours.
Guest
Posted: Sunday, March 31, 2013 5:24:21 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,932
I think the simple truth is that for the vast majority of people, being a virgin or not is simply not an issue. It is not like we hand out business cards that say our sexuality, sexual status, our interests/desires, etc. That goes along with penis size as well. People get way too hung up on those things, when in reality they are things which become factors (and most of the time NON ISSUES) after we decide if we like the other person or are attracted to them... they are NOT the things which are the initial factors or in most cases deal breakers. What we consider acceptable and perfectly fine is a VERY wide range and honestly few fall outside that range.

Also, if we look around, there are people of all shapes, sizes, hygiene, physical attractiveness, intelligence, you name it, who have PARTNERS and have active sex lives. That means if any particular person does not, it isn't because others simply don't want them. There are other factors, and frankly it tends to be something in themselves that is preventing the situations from happening. Sometimes I see their own standards and desires being the issue.... (not saying this is the case here at all though, just that I have seen it)... like an overweight, odd looking, and just not what "society" might call attractive, thinks they deserve and will not settle for anything less than the "girl in the movie". It is not that they can't get ANY girl, they simply can't get the girl THEY WANT. They hold higher standards than what they expect others to have.

In general though, I just suggest to do as others have presented.... just be yourself and have fun. The rest will take care of itself.
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