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50 Shades of Grey, Review plus Pictures Options · View
nicola
Posted: Thursday, April 04, 2013 11:13:29 PM

Rank: Matriarch

Joined: 12/6/2006
Posts: 25,568
Location: The Orgasmatron
Liz
Posted: Friday, April 05, 2013 1:59:43 AM

Rank: Scarlet Seductress

Joined: 1/22/2013
Posts: 4,705
Location: In the sweet shop, United Kingdom
Anybody else wonder what score Fifty Shades would have if submitted to Lush? 588-rolleyes



Dancing_Doll
Posted: Friday, April 05, 2013 5:58:52 AM

Rank: Alpha Blonde

Joined: 2/17/2010
Posts: 6,302
Location: West Coast
LOL... I still haven't read this yet, but that was about all the synopsis I needed. Hilarious.

Pretty much anytime someone mentions this book to me they say it's dumb and they stopped reading it, and my hairdresser said she threw it into the ocean while reading it on vacation because it was so awful.

I have yet to hear anyone say they loved it... so it boggles my mind that it's become such a phenomenon with a movie deal.

Having said that - I don't think anyone would have bothered with this book if it wasn't Twilight fan-fiction originally. Anytime you write a book based on a formula with a built-in audience you're going to do well.


TheDevilsWeakness
Posted: Friday, April 05, 2013 8:35:37 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 7/19/2011
Posts: 1,302
Location: I'm the girl that your father hoped he could date.
Brilliant! The review is so much better than the book!
Meanwhile, E. L. James is laughing all the way to the bank.

MoonlightSerenity
Posted: Friday, April 05, 2013 8:45:09 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2012
Posts: 854
Location: United Kingdom
Liz wrote:
Anybody else wonder what score Fifty Shades would have if submitted to Lush? 588-rolleyes


Part of me thinks it wouldn't even make it past the story verifiers Whistle

Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
Java
Posted: Friday, April 05, 2013 1:13:14 PM

Rank: Coquette Roguette

Joined: 12/19/2009
Posts: 1,843
Location: the Island of Misfit Toys
Best review I've read about this pathetic drivel of a book.


CurlyGirly
Posted: Friday, April 05, 2013 1:40:38 PM

Rank: CurlyFries

Joined: 10/5/2012
Posts: 1,779
Location: United States
Java wrote:
Best review I've read about this pathetic drivel of a book.


^^This^^ thumbup Review totally made me laugh.

Unsolicited, a friend dropped it off for me to read, because she thought I would love it. I did not and declined reading the sequels. I wanted to stab Anastasia in her rolling eyes about halfway through the book.



It won a potato. Aren't you intrigued?



Guest
Posted: Saturday, April 06, 2013 5:31:25 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,932
Lmao, that review pretty much nailed it. I unfortunately and embarrasingly enough read all 3 and once I was done with them I decided to torture myself and read the Crossfire series (all xmas presents) ...... I still cant choose which series was worse... Oh wait there EXACTLY the same!
Coco
Posted: Tuesday, April 09, 2013 6:54:51 PM

Rank: Story Lover

Joined: 7/22/2011
Posts: 4,443
Location: Fantasy City, United States
LOL, I loved that review. I especially liked, "79 Motherfucking times!" I threw the book away about a quarter in, I was done.

Icarus32
Posted: Thursday, April 18, 2013 11:25:26 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/10/2012
Posts: 257
Location: Around, Canada
50 shades actually started out as a Twilight fanfic, or so the legend goes. So perhaps that's why the protagonist is the most unimpowered woman around and the man is a monster.
Kitanica
Posted: Thursday, April 18, 2013 6:09:40 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/16/2011
Posts: 881
Location: The Sprawl, United States
Dancing_Doll wrote:
LOL... I still haven't read this yet, but that was about all the synopsis I needed. Hilarious.

Pretty much anytime someone mentions this book to me they say it's dumb and they stopped reading it, and my hairdresser said she threw it into the ocean while reading it on vacation because it was so awful.

I have yet to hear anyone say they loved it... so it boggles my mind that it's become such a phenomenon with a movie deal.

Having said that - I don't think anyone would have bothered with this book if it wasn't Twilight fan-fiction originally. Anytime you write a book based on a formula with a built-in audience you're going to do well.


Have you ever seen this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA
pricklypear
Posted: Thursday, April 25, 2013 2:11:23 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 4/9/2013
Posts: 4,333
Location: somewhere over the rainbow, United States
even though the pics are no longer up, that was hands down the funniest thing i have read this month. laughing9

great find.
Metilda
Posted: Thursday, April 25, 2013 3:22:12 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/10/2013
Posts: 988
Location: United States
nicola wrote:
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215

Brilliant!


I never liked Ana (as I never liked Bella so of course i wouldn't like her more immature copy)
So I laughed my ass off the whole read - it was great.

But what she seems to have missed regarding Christian is that this is his path to becoming a more normal, balanced, respectable person. He starts out one way - and softens up . . . Anna doesn't change at all - but he changes significantly.

So the reviewer just doesn't get that's the overall point of the entire series . . . he wasn't meant to be liked - he was meant for people to *want* him to change, that shred of humanity inside is what people are supposed to like - so when he changes people are happy for him. . . now - if she gets that, she made no effort to really say so. It makes no sense to complain that much about a character - when you know they're going to change in the end.

Available as an ebook through All Romance, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks, and others.
eiffel2007
Posted: Thursday, April 25, 2013 4:03:54 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 4/13/2012
Posts: 58
Location: United Kingdom
Liz wrote:
Anybody else wonder what score Fifty Shades would have if submitted to Lush? 588-rolleyes


I suspect if it included some cliched incest schtick it would be the biggest thing this site has ever seen.

Sadly

Metilda
Posted: Thursday, April 25, 2013 6:05:13 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/10/2013
Posts: 988
Location: United States
eiffel2007 wrote:


I suspect if it included some cliched incest schtick it would be the biggest thing this site has ever seen.

Sadly


Lol. It almost does with the reason why he chose her to begin with.


Available as an ebook through All Romance, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks, and others.
tuballcain
Posted: Thursday, April 25, 2013 6:10:36 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 4/25/2013
Posts: 1
Location: Spain
A badly written book by a less than articulate author which includes a great deal of “cut and paste” the so called erotica attempts to overcome the lack of plot and basic writing skills
Metilda
Posted: Thursday, April 25, 2013 8:06:18 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/10/2013
Posts: 988
Location: United States
tuballcain wrote:
A badly written book by a less than articulate author which includes a great deal of “cut and paste” the so called erotica attempts to overcome the lack of plot and basic writing skills


Yeah - it is cut and paste . . .the erotica is good, really - contrasting those scenes alone with similar ones on this site and I think she did really well.

But yeah - cut and paste is a good way to describe it. There are a lot of obnoxious sentiments from Ana like 'oh myyy' and 'on nooo' and 'holy shit' - it makes her seem like she's a 15 year old kid on the playground . . . but then she'll have moments where she has well developed thoughts that are logical and mature. . . and then the rest of the time she's a brainless idiot whose lost, flustered, and having muscles spasms ("my muscles clenched deliciously" - LOL) and a petty jealous bitch.

Poor authoring skills constitute for all the mess that is Ana's supposed thought processes - Honestly, if she abandoned the twilight parallels (since it was a fanfiction) - and improved Ana - and cut out her getting pregnant, that ridiculous scenario with her boss at work and all that - and just left it more to focus on Christian having her as at least a mature foil - it would have been a solid novel.

Oh -and the stupid sex goddess shit should have never been put in there.
"my sex goddess is sitting in a lotus position . . . my sex inner sex goddess is dancing around the room . .. my inner sex goddess eyed me surreptitiously . . . ) wtf?


But you know what - other equally crappy twilight knock offs are what made me want to become an author - I bought quite a few erotica novels/novellas via kindle that were fanfictions (apparent from reading the first few chapters) - I got so sick of the crappily written scenes and plot lines I decided I could do better. If some random idiot can write a story about a demented scientist who creates a perfect being and sends him off to school (aka - Edward Cullen via sci fi) and sell it for $4.99 and have a douche like me buy it - then I can do it to!

lol

Available as an ebook through All Romance, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks, and others.
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