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Can a woman's sordid sexual history prevent her from being "the one"? Options · View
blazestcyr
Posted: Saturday, February 02, 2013 7:56:30 AM

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ok there is a huge diff between being sexually open and sexually dangerous

so forgive me if i misunderstood the question

if you are having sex that puts either you or your partner in harms way ..no that is a MENTAL condition..not a sexual one

i took this question merely as a varied sexual past..not one that had a harmful outcome

i stand by my original post

and sordid is a pretty BROAD term..and means something different to each people

me if you are cheating on your partner..you are sordid

see my point....

dragonfirechampion
Posted: Saturday, February 02, 2013 8:01:11 AM

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Well to be totally honest if it was something she was embarrassed of but wanted to continue whatever it may be, not with like a million other guys tho, I would also partake. Otherwise I would be just like say I don't care what you do as long as your mine.
But if it was something of the past I wouldn't care.
mal0003
Posted: Saturday, February 02, 2013 9:25:18 AM

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I guess my answer to the question would be when I was young, maybe! You are raised with preconceived notions of how things are supposed to be. As you grow older and enjoy all of the fun and pleasure sexual experiences can bring, I find it incredible to find a woman that enjoys exploring and enjoying and wouldn't have any problem with any of her sexual history! In fact, I would probably want to know every sordid detail! icon_smile
Guest
Posted: Sunday, February 03, 2013 1:18:14 PM

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Well, I found out after we married that my wife had sex regularly with an in-law. She was just his "mistress" so to speak. It's a complicated story, and she let him have his way, and kept quiet about it. He's dead now. If I had known that before we married, I probably wouldn't have married her.
Dancing_Doll
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 7:17:24 AM

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blazestcyr wrote:
ok there is a huge diff between being sexually open and sexually dangerous

so forgive me if i misunderstood the question

if you are having sex that puts either you or your partner in harms way ..no that is a MENTAL condition..not a sexual one

i took this question merely as a varied sexual past..not one that had a harmful outcome

i stand by my original post

and sordid is a pretty BROAD term..and means something different to each people

me if you are cheating on your partner..you are sordid

see my point....



Yes, it's a broad term. That's why it's important to read the original post to get more details and not just the basic overhead question.

I also don't think it has anything to do with a 'harmful outcome'. Nothing I've outlined should be harming anyone if it's in the past, assuming everyone is free of STDs. It's a sexual/social issue - not a 'mental condition'. As this thread has already demonstrated, everyone has different limitations of what they would be able to accept.


Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 7:50:39 AM

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Eh, not much would turn me off about a girl's sexual history. It's actually a huge turn on for me to have a girl tell me about her memorable sexual encounters. The dumb little giggle they do when they are telling it turns me on. Especially if they are like straddling my leg and I'm fondling their happy spots. But I'm going into too much detail...

One thing that would turn me off about a girl and prevent her from being the "one" or even datable is if she's a girl that has been around in my circle of friends. That to me is a no-go. Every group of guys knows that one girl who's fucked half the wolf pack... I wouldn't want my friends knowing that the "love of my life" can put her feet behind her head or enjoys licking ass after one too many sangrias, for example. Fuck that.



Guest
Posted: Monday, February 04, 2013 9:17:02 AM

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when i was younger i used to have an issue with a womans sexual past. but i must be over it cause the last women i was dating/sleeping with used to be a hooker when she was 18/19
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, February 12, 2013 3:26:37 AM

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Adventurous women that love sex are a turn on, and I would encourage a girl to tell me about her past experiences, in fact I'd insist on hearing all about it if she has been around a lot. It would be perfect for a swinger-style relationship, as she'd be less likely to expect lifelong monogamy. Thinking about your girl being slutty enough to have sex with other guys (or girls) is a huge turn on as long as she is completely honest and upfront about it. The problem is not her sexual past, but whether she is mentally stable enough after all her experiences, and able to lead a slightly healthier lifestyle.
socuriouso
Posted: Friday, February 15, 2013 7:24:35 AM

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Dancing_Doll wrote:
Let's say that you met a woman and were quickly considering that she might be "the one" that you'd like to marry, settle down with, bring home to mom, and/or have children with.

Are there things in a woman's sexual history that would be a deal-breaker for you... or if not, would there be things that you'd rather not know or have her tell you?

In the realm of fantasy, porn, and imagination, a highly sexed, wildly-adventurous woman is a turn-on.

But what if you found out she'd been involved in more extreme sex experiences than you were used to - for example - gangbangs, bukkakes, double-penetration group sex, still enjoyed having sex with women, was involved in porn or online sex sites for pay as a performer, model or webcam girl, was a stripper at one point, worked in prostitution/escorting or was into maybe into certain fetishes that you weren't interested in.

If you found out early on in the relationship, would any of these factors dissuade you from considering her as a life-partner?

Be honest!


Absolutely not, and I would want to know whatever she wanted to share. When are we as a culture going to throw out the double standard? I swear to bob, we all have histories, we all have things to work through and its the dark as well as the light that make us who we are.

Even my avatar name comes from a rather juicy story, from when I was young. My point is that we all, everyone of us have some sort of kink, odd desire, fetish or raging libido. If the woman I loved wanted more variety in her life than just me, then so be it. Its me she loves, me she fell in love with and my unconditional love that brings her home to me. When we fuck, we fuck from a much deeper place then connecting in the middle, and only share that with each other. If she needs women as well, or multiple partners to satisfy that lovely slut way down deep; well then we are talking about sex and physical gratification. Nothing more. As long as there is open and honest dialogue between us about it, my brand of love just wants her to be as happy and content and successful as SHE wants or needs to be. That is where I gain my happiness in the relationship. That is what love is.

Love and sex, while linked to intimacy are very separate notions. Love is waking up at three am and kissing her shoulder because she is curled up with you and you can. Love is holding her when shit gets too thick for her, and understanding why she feels the way she does. Love is waiting, no matter how long it takes for her to come to you, at her own pace. Love is being able to let her go, if that is what she needs to be happy; it may hurt like hell, but hindering that just makes her miserable and why torture her and yourself and ruin any future friendship there might be?


Intimacy is earned and given through our conversations, our quiet time spent with each other, and in the way we hold each other's vulnerability; protecting the softest part of our partner with such ferocity that no human would dare fuck with you. Intimacy is knowing when to smack her ass as she walks past you, or that look that says, "Take me home, I need your heart tonight". It is the ability to say to a woman,"God babe, its ok, because I love you. All of you, the good, the bad, the sexy and the history. It is what has made you into the beautiful soul I would lay my life down for."

At least, that is the way I see it.
du_yoo
Posted: Friday, February 15, 2013 2:53:34 PM

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Gangbangs, bukkakes and double penetration would make her 10x more desirable to me. Bonus points if this was not long in the past, and she maintained an active interest in group sex.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, February 19, 2013 5:05:45 PM

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Joined: 12/1/2006
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A friend of mine married a woman who worked for an escort service. He was open to group sex and didn't have an issue with here being an escort and i'm pretty sure he looked forward to exploring sexual adventures with her. However, after they became husband and wife she seem to be consumed with guilt about her past. She became a born again christian, became involved with bible studies groups, charity events and so on. She very rarely had an interest with sex and even when they did have sex my friend said " it's like having sex with my sister" Very awkward very bland. I could see a change in her myself , she seemed more reserved, not as outgoing, not as open, friendly, or happy as she once was. Neeedless to say thier marriage lasted but 2 years before they mutually agreed to filling for divorce.

So take that and make out of it what you will.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, February 19, 2013 6:27:34 PM

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A woman's past is her past. If she your heart, body and soul then she's the one. Everything else matters not
Guest
Posted: Wednesday, February 27, 2013 6:56:59 AM

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great question - For me, I can't imagine anything in a woman's history that would keep us apart if I thought she was "the one". I love hearing some of the sexual experiences that my partner had with previous men, and we both enjoyed an active sex life before we met. It wouldn't matter to me when I found out, regardless of what it was - I think a woman's sexual experience is just one of the layers of intrigue that she is composed of and I love pealing back each of those layers with a woman I am really in to.
paul_moadib
Posted: Sunday, April 28, 2013 3:02:02 AM

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If I found out early on, no I don't think it's be a problem.

If she kept it secret for a long time then told me, it would be a concern.
lovmilkytit
Posted: Sunday, April 28, 2013 6:23:23 AM

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Only if the couples interests did not coincide. If she had 'sown' her oats and wanted to settle down, but he still wanted her to continue...and vice-versa. Acceptance and not trying to change someone are the key.
_mal_
Posted: Sunday, April 28, 2013 11:38:13 AM

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I have been involved with women with sordid sexual histories... AND IT WAS HOT!

But I don't think that is the usual response by men. Like you said, they like their porn to be slutty but their partners to be uh.. not-so-slutty.

Everyone wants their partner to be loyal -- feel special, feel cared for, feel like the relationship is a partnership in some manner. For me personally, that's fine. But, I like my lady and I to be complete sluts together also.
Leiza350
Posted: Sunday, April 28, 2013 1:26:32 PM

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If my husband knew about every sexual encounter it just might piss him off ....cuz i have ........ enjoyed mi self .angel7
MrNiceguy888
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2013 10:58:46 AM

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Not for me. I've been slutty whenever could, so who am I to judge.
Guest
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2013 12:15:12 PM

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The only deal breaker is if she still wanted to have sex with others. Anything that she's done in the past would probably even be a turn on, but as long as it stays in the past. If we were to get serious and settle down I wouldn't want to share her. I would want us to belong only to each other. I'd want to feel like I was all she needed and would want to feel the same way about her.
Jack_42
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2013 12:17:56 PM

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Well I suppose it would depend on what kind of a past I've had. If I had lived some saintly existence without premarital sex then I suppose I might feel a little cautious and judgemental but as I haven't I wouldn't. Or do we operate the good old double standard here?
Barrone
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2013 1:17:02 PM

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Not for me, I Love women with lots of experience!!! Variety Is the Spice of Life...Mmmm...;)

Swimming in my pond, waiting for some Lush Lovelies:) I'm Sexy, and I Know It!!
theupeh
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2013 1:41:05 PM

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Ti me the answer to that is an easy one yes and no !!! Thats what makes the world go round !!
emersonbosworth
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2013 1:57:10 PM

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My wife had done a dozen fucks before we got married, and she told me about them, she was married when I met her and we fucked a lot without her husband knowing, she was a hot piece of ass and I couldn't stop fucking her so I made her leave him, and we got married, after about 8 or 9 years she fucked a friend of mine, so I figured what the hell, so I got another friend of mine to fuck her and I could watch, He fucked her for over 30 years, coming up a couple times a week to fuck her, She fucked a couple other guys during this time to, but as long as she told me about it I liked her to get her strange stuff, she's still the best fuck I ever had, and my friends think so too.
BelleduJour
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2013 2:16:36 PM

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emersonbosworth wrote:
My wife had done a dozen fucks before we got married, and she told me about them, she was married when I met her and we fucked a lot without her husband knowing, she was a hot piece of ass and I couldn't stop fucking her so I made her leave him, and we got married, after about 8 or 9 years she fucked a friend of mine, so I figured what the hell, so I got another friend of mine to fuck her and I could watch, He fucked her for over 30 years, coming up a couple times a week to fuck her, She fucked a couple other guys during this time to, but as long as she told me about it I liked her to get her strange stuff, she's still the best fuck I ever had, and my friends think so too.


Klassy snorting

BelleduJour
Posted: Monday, April 29, 2013 2:18:27 PM

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emersonbosworth wrote:
My wife had done a dozen fucks before we got married, and she told me about them, she was married when I met her and we fucked a lot without her husband knowing, she was a hot piece of ass and I couldn't stop fucking her so I made her leave him, and we got married, after about 8 or 9 years she fucked a friend of mine, so I figured what the hell, so I got another friend of mine to fuck her and I could watch, He fucked her for over 30 years, coming up a couple times a week to fuck her, She fucked a couple other guys during this time to, but as long as she told me about it I liked her to get her strange stuff, she's still the best fuck I ever had, and my friends think so too.


Klassy snorting

CleverFox
Posted: Tuesday, April 30, 2013 6:37:57 PM

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My past isn't spotless.
weplay
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 4:10:39 AM

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this is a very easy way to find out if you or her are each others one's. ask a woman what you think you heard or may know or even just some of the things that have been deal breakers for you with other woman that were not the one, and if she is honest than you would be dumb to let her go for her past which she already hates herself for but loves you enough to tell you. now let her ask you about your's and you answer her with inflated numbers or flat out lies to make your ego feel good, keep this in mind she knows you are lying and she stays with you even though you look so pathetic lying to hurt her and making yourself out to be a man in your mind but a man don't give a fuck about what people say or think about the woman who hurt herself in her head by telling you the truth...a man protects her and worships her, for the other guysFugly thats what you should wear for being a whimp
WellMadeMale
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 8:55:01 AM

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BelleduJour wrote:


Klassy snorting


A truer romance and deeper love has never existed, huh? Shhh

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
Marcie4you
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 7:42:55 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 2/8/2013
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Location: Indianapolis, United States
WellMadeMale wrote:
Deal breaker fetishes for me would include beastiality, pedophilia, necrophilia, scat interests, infantilism, extreme to chocolate BDSM, and cross dressing. If she had admitted to me that she engaged in any of the above, willingly, at any time...

There would be no further courting ritual for me. I'd have to exert some effort to learn about the range of her BDSM preferences, for instance, before I could make a decision. I may well not be able to satisfy her in those desires, for instance. And few things are worse, in my opinion than limiting a persons scope of pleasure, simply because something she might find enjoyable would turn my stomach, etc...

Everything else, in her past (or with me in our futures) is: game on or to be under consideration. icon_smile

I told you, Doll...about a previous 24 year old girlfriend of mine. Her past experiences (even had she not ever told me of them) molded her to the person she was, when I met her...and she was all that she'd experienced at the point I found myself growing into love with her.

The same would be true of any woman.

IMO, similar to what Rocco stated above...I don't feel that there is ever a good time to 'have that sexual experience story-swapping conversation' with anyone you might think you want to spend a great deal of time with. But, if she had herpes, or a similar STD which she was dealing with...I'd want to know, before I dipped my tongue or cock, within her. Likewise, if I was sentenced to such a life altering issue...I'd tell any woman, before things progressed even to kissing.

Everything in our past(s) has molded us into the person we all are, today. For better or worse.

Marcie4you
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 7:43:22 AM

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Joined: 2/8/2013
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Location: Indianapolis, United States
Well said!
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