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alpha2moms
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 4:22:48 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 2/24/2013
Posts: 18
Location: United States
I am often asked, "Why I chose my username?" I am not into BDSM and I am far from a Domme or Dominatrix. So besides the fact that I had been drinking the night I signed in and built my profile, my girl friend and I, after reading this really descriptive article had always laughed about me being the ultimate "Alpha" Female so it had to include Alpha. 2moms; as I am stepmom!

Just so you can see where I'm coming from here is that article. I hope it's okay to copy it here.


The Ultimate Alpha Female

by author Carrie Olguin

When the Alpha Female meets her Alpha Male, the sparks fly. In fiction, she is the kick-ass female, the one who gets things done.

Alpha Females exist in real life, but historically society has forced women to hide their Alpha tendencies. All women have some alpha female characteristics, but not all and not to the extreme.

The Alpha Female is physically different. For most women, the ring and index fingers will be the same length. On about 10% of women – those exposed to higher levels of testosterone during pre-natal development – have longer ring fingers. Although heterosexual, the brains of these women are neurologically wired to think like men – but they do so with feminine flare.

How is she different from the other women?
• Task focused. Single minded.
• Athletic, more physical than other women.
• She is determined, bold, and a competitive high achiever.
• Career is part of their identity.
• Does not want to be tied down to family. She is not primarily interested in children and may not want children.
• Higher sexual libido. Can enjoy one-night-stands with no regrets.
• Emotionally self sufficient.
• More aggressive. Actively pursues power and status. A risk taker.
• Enjoys recognition but doesn’t need approval from peers.
• Gets straight to the point without social chat (a trait expected in Alpha Males, but makes the Alpha female seem rude, abrupt, aggressive, arrogant, a bitch).
• Closer relationship to father than mother.
• Tend to be left handed.
• Fiercely independent – not looking for a man to take care of her, she takes care of herself.
• She may outright reject social conventions like marriage, religion, and government.

Traits She Shares with Alpha Males
• Self-confidence – comfortable in her skin, loves her body, takes care of herself, works out and eats right.
• Always dresses to impress. She is properly groomed, clean and smells sexy.
• Doesn’t spend time in front of a mirror. Not vain. Knows she looks good.
• Her eyes speak for her. If she wants you to know what she is thinking or feeling, she will show with her eyes – but also won’t hesitate to tell you in words.
• She leads and expects everyone to follow.
• She doesn’t care what people think of her.
• Gives her opinions – doesn’t wait to be asked.
• Intelligent, well informed, resourceful.
• Not afraid of the unexpected or unknown – she knows she can handle any situation. Fights for what is hers.
• Honor, integrity, and loyalty – demands the same qualities in those she considers her friends/allies.
• She’s busy, has a full life, enjoys a variety of activities (many considered male), finds pleasure in everything she does.
• Recognizes others – she remembers the people she’s met, laughs at their jokes, acknowledges their ideas, makes them feel important.
• Self-focused but not selfish.
• Well-developed sense of humor – laughs at herself and the rest of the world, makes others laugh.
• Sucks people into her world; she’s interesting, charismatic, makes people feel comfortable and welcome.

The Protector of Pack and Home
• Tend to “run in packs” with other Alpha females.
• Fiercely protective of herself, her family and everyone she loves.
• Nature created her to lead her family and community.
• She is selective about who she invites into her private life.
• She is well prepared for her own survival and for those she loves.
• Cares about others and all her relationships. Enjoys the comfort of close friends
• Looks for the best for others.
• She won’t allow others take advantage of her or those she loves
• The leader in the workplace and in her community.
• Prevents others from trying to take advantage of her, her family and her friends. If anyone should try, the alpha female will shun them, leave them, find ways to eliminated or hurt them. She will hurt those who mess with her and her pack.

Other Alpha Female Characteristics
• Good at persuasion. She asserts herself. Can use intimidation elegantly until others agree or close their mouths.
• Charisma; charms others into getting her way and accomplishing her goals. Pleasing personality; warm, friendly, and emotionally strong. She knows how and when to move from charisma to intimidation.
• Tough and ready for whatever threats may come. Uses her personal power.
• Intelligent, blessed with wisdom. Doesn’t neglect her common-sense.
• Knows she is unique; she is sure of herself.
• Feels she deserves the best in everything.
• Strong and brave in all she does. She is fearless. Oozes self-confidence.
• Knows when to be a lady.
• She has her own style, uniquely herself and guided by her own values.
• Her ideas are most important; she’s at the top of the food chain.
• She can hold her own in the boardroom, bedroom, or on the street. She commands respect.
• She is dynamic, has presence and doesn’t blend in with the crowd. She’s charismatic and can work a room.
• She knows what she wants/feels/needs and expresses her desires.
• She’s easy-going and doesn’t throw tantrums, whine, bitch or nag. Doesn’t act like a child. She isn’t needy.
• She is comfortable with herself. She has a sense of humor and smiles and laughs, even at herself when appropriate. She enjoys life. Knows when to admit her weaknesses.
• She is a good conversationalist, not about gossip or daytime TV. She has opinions, interests and passions.
• Actively purses dreams or goals; building her own empire to rule.
• Solitude nourishes her.
• She gets what she wants, when she wants it.
• She follows her feelings and reasons for those feelings.
• She was the childhood buddy that went on adventures with boys who morphed into the vixen who gives a man adventures in the bedroom.
• Has a hint of masculinity, i.e. likes sports, sex, politics, intellectual interests.
• Revels in her femininity.

The Alpha Female and Male Relationships
• Alpha females step over non-Alpha men if they let her.
• May select men who are at her beck and call.
• She doesn’t doubt she has the ability to get any man she wants.
• She draws the attention of the available men in the room.
• She isn’t always the most beautiful or the one with the best personality. She is mysterious, interesting, a challenge.
• Pays close attention to the signals of males around her. Yet she knows how to put them off if she isn’t interested in them.
• She will not beg for expensive gifts.
• This woman likes to have fun, especially with men.
• She wears the things that make her look pretty.
• She moves her body in ways that make men think of sex.
• She openly flirts with men.
• She may anticipate a future in which she dies alone, without a partner or children.
• She may not realize that the characteristics that bring her success in the outside world may undermine her romantic relationships.

How Men See Alpha Females
• Men find Alpha females intriguing – women tend to hate them.
• Men find them a challenge and love the thrill from the competition to gain her attention.
• Men want to capture, tame and dominate her. She knows and won’t let them.
• Chasing an alpha female is intriguing but also exhausting for most men.
• She can be seen as an Ice Queen.

The Dating Game for Alpha Females
• She dates more than one man at a time.
• She sets up the dates and will often be busy when HE asks.
• She pays for the movie tickets, to get into clubs, and for food.
• She won’t put herself in a position where she owes a man.
• Men have to use more than charm, smile, or her flowers to appeal to an alpha female; they need to be creative.

When She Finds “The One”
• Sparks fly when they meet and learn about each other. “The immovable object (him) meets the irresistible force (her).”
• They constantly fight (with great make-up sex) in their struggle to find a compromise.
• Her Alpha Male has the courage to take the lead in the relationship.
• He will NOT be someone she needs to mother.
• Her femininity makes a man feel like a man.
• He appreciates her for who she is, doesn’t attempt to change her.
• She may choose to submit to his dominance (for the most part) because he allows her to be herself.

Body Language
• Smiles with her eyes and her lips.
• Radiates the goddess within.
• Enjoys her body and the way it moves.
• Stands tall, head up, shoulders back.
• Deliberate movement with grace and elegance.
• Walks with confidence, accentuates hip sway.
• Doesn’t scan the room. Knows she is the center of attention.
• Maintains a comfortable stance, doesn’t shift positions.
• Stance accentuates curve of the waist and/or lower back
• Hand gestures are slow, deliberate, and animated.

In fiction, Ultimate Alpha Females are often used as antagonist, blocking character or fem fatal due to their aggressive (not seen as feminine) behavior and thought patterns.

But the Alpha Female has become the heroine of choice in paranormal/fantasy stories. She is the kick-ass vampire hunter and the ardent adventurer.

Written with the correct mix of female charm, charisma, and athletic ability, the Alpha Female makes for a complex heroine, one who is as intelligent, strong, and determined enough to safe herself from the villain and earn the everlasting love of the Ultimate Alpha Male.


So, How many Alpha Females are in here with me? I say a whole bunch!

elitfromnorth
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 7:03:22 PM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,617
Location: Burrowed, Norway
I love this. Especially this part

Quote:
Although heterosexual, the brains of these women are neurologically wired to think like men – but they do so with feminine flare.


To me this pretty much implies that to be able to achieve a dominant role amongst women, you have to think like a man, become more of a man than the women surrounding you. Thus it is impossible for a woman with a 100% female mindset to become a leader. If this whole thing is supposed to be some kind of "hail to the strong women" it's pretty much the opposite; it shows that no woman independent of male thought or mindset can be dominant, and thus men are genetically domninant over women and that it's not a social order. In other words; it's not doing feminism any favours.

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
MissyLuvsYa
Posted: Friday, May 03, 2013 9:33:57 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/12/2011
Posts: 543
Location: somewhere on the coast, United States
Someone has shoveled it very deep!bs
curvygalore
Posted: Saturday, May 04, 2013 1:57:09 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/22/2010
Posts: 189
elitfromnorth wrote:


To me this pretty much implies that to be able to achieve a dominant role amongst women, you have to think like a man, become more of a man than the women surrounding you. Thus it is impossible for a woman with a 100% female mindset to become a leader. If this whole thing is supposed to be some kind of "hail to the strong women" it's pretty much the opposite; it shows that no woman independent of male thought or mindset can be dominant, and thus men are genetically domninant over women and that it's not a social order. In other words; it's not doing feminism any favours.


very interesting take on this
Jane_Awsum
Posted: Sunday, May 05, 2013 11:04:27 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 5/4/2010
Posts: 55
Wrong on two counts:
I'm not left handed.
I don't think like a male (but I usually know how a male thinks or at least what a male is thinking about).
Metilda
Posted: Sunday, May 05, 2013 3:25:30 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 3/10/2013
Posts: 978
Location: United States
Aka: a tomboy who is still girly - all the rest is just strange or senseless. Finger length and "Not vain. Knows she looks good." (lol - that IS vanity, btw).

Available as an ebook through All Romance, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks, and others.
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, May 07, 2013 8:55:45 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
I completely agree! This article does feminism no favors by 1. only defining femininity through masculinity as if "dominant traits" are innately linked to male identity and 2. using such a hetetonormative lens to explore the layers of female identity. Lastly, if childbirth isn't seen as THE indicator for defining/locating "alpha" behavior, I don't know what is.
stelmaria
Posted: Tuesday, May 07, 2013 9:06:42 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/8/2012
Posts: 318
Location: New Zealand
sub_miss wrote:
I completely agree! This article does feminism no favors by 1. only defining femininity through masculinity as if "dominant traits" are innately linked to male identity and 2. using such a hetetonormative lens to explore the layers of female identity. Lastly, if childbirth isn't seen as THE indicator for defining/locating "alpha" behavior, I don't know what is.


Nice to see you cruising the forums ;) you make me feel so uneducated haha ^^^

Brilliant - I concur.

kylie_kained
Posted: Tuesday, May 07, 2013 10:31:26 PM

Rank: Detention Seeker

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 994
Location: Over your Knee Screaming and Kicking!, United King
If everything fits you perfectly then it's a great username for yourself (even if you were drunk when fixing it up.) But in my case can I ask if you ever want to walk over me you wear the highest Stiletto heels you feel comfy in?
















JessicaX
Posted: Wednesday, May 08, 2013 12:34:45 AM

Rank: Story Verifier

Joined: 6/6/2011
Posts: 474
Location: Minneapolis, United States
After reading Olguin's description of the Apha Female posted by alpha2moms, I must say after the day I've had I need a new category: TheOmegaMom.



Guest
Posted: Wednesday, May 08, 2013 8:26:00 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
"Someone has shoveled it very deep!"

evil4


Now I'm off to read my horoscope.
Guest
Posted: Thursday, May 09, 2013 12:20:54 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,641
stelmaria wrote:


Nice to see you cruising the forums ;) you make me feel so uneducated haha ^^^

Brilliant - I concur.


You've just validated my cyber presence, thank you.
Jack_42
Posted: Thursday, May 09, 2013 2:46:43 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/21/2009
Posts: 986
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
This just seems to be a matter of identification you don't have to say strong determined behaviour is relevant to a gender unless you need some point of reference to distinguish them thus saying this or that is male or female behaviour may just be a way of categorizing. I personally feel it very difficult to determine human behaviour with such definite lines. I bought some red napkins to match the red covers of the dining room chairs and contrast the black of the table in my flat - is my sexuality now in question? :)
WellMadeMale
Posted: Thursday, May 09, 2013 2:57:53 PM

Rank: Constant Gardener

Joined: 9/30/2009
Posts: 10,288
Location: Cakeland, United States
Jack_42 wrote:
I bought some red napkins to match the red covers of the dining room chairs and contrast the black of the table in my flat - is my sexuality now in question? :)


Yeah, I don't know if I'd have told just everyone, that...Jack. Real men aren't supposed to own even a smidgen of interior decoration genetics.

I bet you have a pretty and arresting flower garden, too.

If ya can't beat 'em... pay someone to do it for you.
elitfromnorth
Posted: Thursday, May 09, 2013 3:15:45 PM

Rank: Brawling Berserker

Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 1,617
Location: Burrowed, Norway
Jack_42 wrote:
I bought some red napkins to match the red covers of the dining room chairs and contrast the black of the table in my flat - is my sexuality now in question? :)




Sorry, couldn't help myself evil4

"It's at that point you realise Lady Luck is actually a hooker, and you're fresh out of cash."
Jack_42
Posted: Friday, May 10, 2013 5:42:22 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/21/2009
Posts: 986
Location: Prague, Czech Republic
WellMadeMale wrote:


Yeah, I don't know if I'd have told just everyone, that...Jack. Real men aren't supposed to own even a smidgen of interior decoration genetics.

I bet you have a pretty and arresting flower garden, too.



No I live in a second storey flat (apartment) but was contemplating a window box.

:)
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