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Husband not adventerous Options · View
1adyAthena
Posted: Saturday, April 27, 2013 12:59:32 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 4/27/2013
Posts: 1
Location: Canada
Any advice on how to get my hubby more interested in just plain old boring sex and how to keep him hard longer?

I have lingerie from naughty to nice, bought toys for him and I, tried bondage (he did not like tying me up, he said it made him feel "mean" and he did not want to be tied up as he didn't feel in control). Have tried different positions, places, romantic getaways from our busy parental life.

I am BORED in the bedroom big time.
He on the other hand thinks our sex life is good as it is on a regular basis. angry7

The other problem is he is pretty quick and cannot seem to learn to hold off or control how quick the orgasm happens ( shortest 30 sec after penetration and normally about 3-5 minutes after penetration) which leaves me frusturated! He does try to make it up to me with foreplay, never oral after he has cum in me, but his attention span sucks as in his words "I am done and happy". We have even tried anal, and it felt good, but it was over before it even began. We have been together for 15 years and use to have a pretty good sex life before kids and life got in the way....any suggestions??
nigelsnaughty
Posted: Saturday, April 27, 2013 2:49:30 AM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/30/2010
Posts: 34
Location: West Midlands, United Kingdom
Try breaking the habit a bit, stretch out the time between your ( regular ) sessions, then pick a day when your both together without distractions, and spend the day teasing him, from getting dressed in front of him in something YOU think is sexy as this will make you feel sexy which will add to the day. Rub up against him seductively, let him accidentally see you caress yourself, spend the whole day just teasing each other and getting his interest peeked then see what happens.
CharmingLeigh
Posted: Saturday, April 27, 2013 4:31:13 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 4/26/2013
Posts: 5
Location: United States
OMG!!! You are married to my husband. I've been tempted to grind up Viagra in his food!!
andybbwlover
Posted: Saturday, April 27, 2013 4:48:22 AM

Rank: Advanced Wordsmith

Joined: 7/30/2011
Posts: 66
Location: United Kingdom
My advice on lasting longer would be to make him cum first (no penetration) then plenty of foreplay and get him to bring you off orally then the second time around he should last longer. He should not think about him self when it comes to sex there are 2 people involved that both need satisfiying
janet_haney
Posted: Saturday, April 27, 2013 6:40:06 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 1/7/2013
Posts: 254
Location: United States
well I am a little unsure of what the first problem is. Andybbylover answered the first problem but it may take some serious conversation to make him understand what you need and want. From there you can let him think he is control but by taking little steps start to introduce new things.
FreeSpirit
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2013 5:00:14 AM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 3/8/2013
Posts: 7
My girlfriend is not adventurous at all, sex is always missionary, in the dark and with her putting in the least effort, which is a major turn off. She is a stunning, tall redhead, yet is very body conscious. This leads to her only wanting sex in the dark to the point that if there is light and I can see her she cannot climax.

Less common with guys I imagine, but maybe he needs to be reassured that you find him attractive and sexy. Find things that maybe remind him of your earlier romance, let him know you still find him sexy and are turned on by him.

I've found I can only really get my girlfriend out of her shell once we are away on holiday, away from the stresses of work. While we are at home her work comes first and it kills her libido and our sex life, I can probably count the number of times we've had sex this year with my fingers with some to spare.

Some people focus less on the intimate side to their relationship and are happy just having someone there, keep trying as you will see things get better as I have. You're lucky he will try all those different things with you, I'm still working on getting her to "come on" to me and take the more dominate role during sex for the first time. We are still at her getting into bed with the telly on and telling me I have an hour to have sex with her before she has to shower and go to sleep, you can only imagine how quickly my sex drive sinks!
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2013 9:37:47 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,411
Well, obviously, "adventurous" means different things to different people. And so the ways to change up the scenarios will vary from personality to personality. No offense but hubby sounds like a bazillion selfish men with their bazillion "reasons" for being so.

There are numerous ways of "extending" the erection/cum factor, from cock rings to nettles, from Tiger Balm to "insert penis here" artificial strap-ons. These are technical things, however, and your challenge seems to be more, um, attitude driven. Too many people think of sex as an obligation, duty, something to do when bored, something that's expected, blah blah. They lack a sense of the beauty and sensuality of sexual acts. Lingerie might work for some, others not so much. What's required is to build the desire, stoke it like a furnace, and withhold it just long enough that it's a craving and hunger. Tell him fantasies for his mind to dwell on. Not yours, btw but his. It's not a matter of what you want to do, it's building up his own desire to do something, anything. Has his tastes changed? What's he want - he knows he won't get "that" but you're there to satisfy the want. You see what I mean? Once you get his desire up, THEN you can start coaxing him to do what you want, but without him wanting the "adventure", he's just going through the motions and once he (quickly) gets his nut off, he thinks he's "done".
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2013 10:07:48 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,411
Well, I have tried a lot of things to spice things up in the bedroom. There is no lack of it, almost everyday.I have tried tying up,he did not like it too much even though I do.Spanking, that he seems to like. Some guys just don't feel right being dominant and I get tired of always taking control at times. I don't know how often you have sex but try getting him off by a BJ or other way then try having sex and see if he last longer. Try a cock ring those tend to work too

I don't have the problem of him lasting long enough, He takes for ever to cum.... Some days a quicky would be nice. Hope things work out!
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2013 11:55:18 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,411
Talk to him, tell him how frustrated you are. If he really cares for you and loves you he would do anything to make you happy. If he doesn't get the point, try withholding his own orgasm. He'll be pissed but he'd sure understand how you feel after that.
Magical_felix
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2013 12:02:23 PM

Rank: Wild at Heart

Joined: 4/3/2010
Posts: 4,908
Location: California
1adyAthena wrote:
Any advice on how to get my hubby more interested in just plain old boring sex and how to keep him hard longer?



Let him have a hot mistress, then ask her what her secret is for turning him into a stallion that fucks all night long.

That may sound harsh. But let that be a lesson kids, the world is harsh as a motherfucker.



Dani
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2013 1:41:49 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 4,710
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
Maybe have HIM dress up in some sexy lingerie.

But in all seriousness, if you've done everything you can think of, then the issue may be much deeper than sex. Something going on in your sex life is only a symptom.



Baby put your arms around me, tell me I'm a problem...

Denny62
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2013 3:16:12 PM

Rank: Active Ink Slinger

Joined: 10/18/2010
Posts: 35
Location: Wisconsin
All the posts above are good . . well, not sure about Felix.

Another thought would to ramp up your appearance . . . whether you're with him or not. Flirt with men (and women is you choose). Nothing will spark a mans interest like the fear of competition.
Dani
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2013 4:33:04 PM

Rank: Big-Haired Bitch

Joined: 12/25/2010
Posts: 4,710
Location: Under Your Bed, United States
Denny62 wrote:
All the posts above are good . . well, not sure about Felix.

Another thought would to ramp up your appearance . . . whether you're with him or not. Flirt with men (and women is you choose). Nothing will spark a mans interest like the fear of competition.


Nobody's sure about Felix. laughing9



Baby put your arms around me, tell me I'm a problem...

Hasabrain2
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2013 4:48:31 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/1/2011
Posts: 124
Well my first impulse is say, "let me come up to Canada and relieve your boredom."

However, my serious answer, when was the last time your husband had a physical? He may have, just as the commercial says, "low T".

If that doesn't work, you could always tell him you are flying out to California to have an affair with this really, nice guy who writes stories and has a "brain".

Back to serious, does he know you are on lush. Let him pursue the topics. I share with my disdain for bondage . . . just not a way to treat a woman.

kylie_kained
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2013 5:18:36 PM

Rank: Detention Seeker

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 994
Location: Over your Knee Screaming and Kicking!, United King
Have you tried using toy's after sex? Seeing you use toy's and your enjoyment just might trigger his mind into realizing that he's not doing enough for you.
















Guest
Posted: Tuesday, May 21, 2013 6:43:23 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 537,411
Think this is a common problem my friend has been married over 20 years and he tells me he is lucky if they do it more than once a month and it is always like going through the motions
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